M.S. asks from Petaluma, CA on November 12, 2007
Strange Question for Moms- Toddler Freaks Out When Mom and Dad Hug/kiss
Hi Ladies,
I have a strange question. My son loves kisses, giving kisses, affection etc. My husband and I give tons of kisses and affection to him daily. Our issue that we are trying to figure out is why he freaks out everytime that my husband and I kiss or hug. He starts jumping up and down, screaming, gets a terrified look in his face and we don't know what to do. We have never had any type of argument or negative affection with eachother in front of him or around him. We have included him in our greetings and in everything we do, but I am not sure why he is acting this way. He looks scared and we tell him that mama and dada are fine and we are saying hello and that we love eachother. Does anyone else have any experience with this??
Thank you so much!
So What Happened?™
Hi Ladies,
I just want to thank all of you who responded. I feel much better about it now. I am glad to see that you have gone through this stage also and that its "normal". We will continue our affection and include him in on it as a group as well. Thank you!!
Featured Answers
A.S. answers from Los Angeles on January 30, 2008
lol!!
I totally understand.
Trust me.. they get over it. I was the same way when i was little!
K.T. answers from Los Angeles on November 13, 2007
My son went through this too. I think he was upset because he thought we were only supposed to hug him, and that if we hugged each other we were excluding him. Try doing 'group hugs' for awhile, and use a lot more subtle affection with each other like hand holding cuddling. Don't worry, they do get over it.
More Answers
C.L. answers from Sacramento on November 13, 2007
After I read what you wrote I thought to myself, wouldn't the most obvious reason be that your son is jealous of the attention you are giving your husband. Because you guys shower him with love and affection, wouldn't it make sense that he sees he is not getting any of the love or affection being shared and he might feel as though he is unloved. My brother went through the same phase, when my mom would pay attention to me or my dad he would throw tantrums and freak because he wasn't receiving the attention.
C.B. answers from Richland on November 13, 2007
M.,
WOW!! We have adopted our children and so we have had some quesitons about our childrens behavior. So I found an EXTRAORDINARY doctor in Watsonville that has been working with us. He has 5 of his own children and has help numerous other famillies. His name is Dr. Lester and you can find out more about him at http://www.lesterclinic.com/pediatrics.html. I hope that this helps.
S.W. answers from Los Angeles on November 13, 2007
Hi, M.,
My son did the same thing, too! You're son is just jealous or feeling threatened emotionally of your attention not being on him. Absolutely normal in his development! My son is now almost 6 and still insists I give him a kiss, too, after I give his father a kiss! He also still prefers to sit in between us. We also sometimes involve him in a "3-way kiss" in which we all 3 kiss each other at the same time (basically, a group kiss) and he laughs and feels satisfied with this, then lets the two of us kiss without any more interference! We used to have to do that more often when he was a toddler and now only occassionally.
S.
V.M. answers from San Francisco on November 13, 2007
That is so funny...All I could do was chuckle when I heard that because it brought back so many memories. All 3 of my sons went through the same thing. I agree with all the other comments. Don't stop giving affection to your husband in front of your son, but include him and tell him you love him and daddy. He will outgrow it and he will inturn know how to relate to his future wife. Girls go through the same thing more with there dads. My daughter would pull her dad away from any female he would talk to. That's my girl, just kidding...but that is how they learn about relationships by what they see us doing. Keep loving...SMILE!
R.C. answers from Sacramento on November 19, 2007
Dear M. S
How interesting to hear somebody's else baby does this! My 18 mo old doesn't do it anymore, but he did and at age 16 mos too!! We actually found it funny and kissed and hugged more to get him to do it. We chastised him when he threw toys at us, but we refused to let him stop us. We felt if we stopped it would be showing him that a temper tanturm got him what he wanted. I just think it is a phase, cuz he stopped about a month later. Just like you, he got lots of loving on and if he came up to us we included him in the hugs. I don't have any advice just a "hey, my kid did that too!" to make you feel better.
K.T. answers from Los Angeles on November 13, 2007
My son went through this too. I think he was upset because he thought we were only supposed to hug him, and that if we hugged each other we were excluding him. Try doing 'group hugs' for awhile, and use a lot more subtle affection with each other like hand holding cuddling. Don't worry, they do get over it.
S.H. answers from Sacramento on November 13, 2007
Awwww....I have no advice but, a similiar situation only my daughter is 3 and very verbal. She tells me that my husband is her husband, When daddy and I even get close to each other she runs to us and pushes me away. She's a daddy girl all the way. She even wants my ring.
J.R. answers from San Francisco on November 13, 2007
Hey M..
I just wanted to let you know, that it is perfectly normal. I have a four year old that went through that stage when he was 15 months to 2yrs old. I also have a two year old that is going through that right now. They grow out of it. My four year old use to not let my husband and I sit next to each other. He use to squeeze in between us. I was a stay at home mom, so he was more like that's my mommy, no one else can give her kisses or hug her, but me. Same goes for my two year old. I hope that I was able to answer your question.
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