Hi moms, my son is almost 13 months old and I am slowly weaning him from breastfeeding. I had been feeding him 4 times a day (early morning feed, late morning feed, mid-afternoon feed and bedtime feed). I decided to cut out one feed per week to finish breastfeeding at the end of 4 weeks. So far I've cut out the late morning and mid-afternoon feeds, and now I'm a little nervous about the last 2 because I don't want to affect his sleep. He is eating 3 meals a day with cow's milk out of a cup with a straw with his lunch and dinner. He never took a bottle and I don't want to introduce one now. He usually eats his dinner between 6-6.30pm and goes to bed between 7-7.30, sleeping until about 5am, when he wakes up (I assume hungry) and I breastfeed him, then he goes back to sleep until about 7am. My question is, should I give him extra milk from his cup in his nursery right before bed at the time I would have breastfed him, or should I just go through his normal bedtime routine and skip the milk part? Also, when he wakes up at 5am, do you think he needs some milk then, or should I just offer him some water and hope he learns to go back to sleep? By that time in the morning, he's gone about 11 hours without eating/drinking, so maybe he really is ready for some milk (although offering him a cup with a straw instead of the breast doesn't seem as cozy!) Many thanks for any tips you have to help us make it through this next step.
Well, 2 months on and we've done it - stopped breastfeeding completely. Thank you all very much for your really helpful advice. I found the key was to go really slowly. For those last two nighttime feeds, we had about 3 weeks between stopping them, for his sake and mine! It's been a week since we dropped the before bed feed (last one to go), and although he was waking earlier than usual for a few days, he seems to be getting back into his routine now. He didn't really want any sort of sippy cup of milk during story time (never did take a bottle), so now I just give him his dinner and milk, followed by a bath, story time, and bed. Thanks again, ladies!
How about a sippy cup of whole milk at those two times? I know most moms cut them out around that age, but I still give my son sippy cups of milk at the start and end of the day. He chooses how much to drink, which varies from a sip to half the cup.
Sometimes, I think it just feels good to have some milk! :)
Hi L.,
Giving up those last feedings are so hard (for baby & mommy!). I also started to wean my son around his first birthday, but the early morning nursing went on until he was 18 mos. Like your son, he would wake around 5am and go back to sleep for a couple more hours (in our bed) after I nursed him. I finally cut him off cold turkey when I got a bad breast infection.
I found that I had to change his routine in order for him to stop nursing. When he woke at 5, instead of bringing him into our bed and nursing him, I would bring him into the living room, put on his favorite DVD and give him a small bowl of cheerios with a sippy cup of water. He was very accepting of the new routine and it has been going on for 4 mos now. Except now he brings the cereal & sippy into our bed and watches the disney channel while I close my eyes for another 15 minutes!
You did a great job breastfeeding your son for the first year!! You'll get through this and within a week he will have forgotten about it. Remember to take it slow - you've done a good job so far! Best of luck to you!
I would offer a sippy cup of milk at both of those times. During our bedtime routine, our son has a sippy cup of milk that he drinks while we're reading stories. Then, when he gets up in the morning, he always says "sip, sip, sip" right away because he's thirsty and I give him a sippy cup of milk. Don't even think about giving him a bottle. It's not necessary at all. You might want to warm the milk a little for the 5am drink, so the cold milk doesn't wake him up too much if he's used to going back to sleep.
Good luck! He'll be fine. I was so nervous doing this with both of my babies and they both did great. Just keep replacing the feedings with cups of milk....you're almost there! :-)
I would definitely discourage offering a cup of milk in the night. This is not good for children's developing teeth and gets them in the habit of needing to eat/drink at night when they are probably just a little thirsty. My son used to go to sleep much later so we started an evening snack about an hour before bedtime (something light like crackers and a cup of milk), then teeth brushing, then our rocking/singing/reading. I like my sleep, too, so if he fussed too much I'd let him nurse for a minute in the rocker in his room, but in general it was a smooth process for us. I have also allowed a sippy cup of water in bed so that when he wakes up and is just thirsty he can drink a little water and put himself back to sleep. You'll figure something out!
Those were the last two feedings to go with my son too. They were trickier to eliminate, at least in my experience. You might get lucky, but eliminating them did affect my son's sleep. He used to go back to sleep after the early morning feed. After eliminating that one, he would just get up and stay up. So I guess it depends on how much you want to wean vs. how much you really want that extra sleep or time in the morning. As for the bedtime feeding, once I eliminated it, I'm not sure if it was coincidence or not, but he started waking up once a night calling for me. This was the last feeding to go. Good luck whatever you decide to do--like I said, you may be luckier than I was!
If your husband is up for it have him go in at the 5am feeding with a cup of water. If you're there he'll be more resistant not to nurse. When I weaned my son, we gave him a sippy cup at night for his room. So that if he woke up he could get himself a drink and then go back to sleep on his own. Now he can't go to sleep without his cup, but it's better than getting up several times a night. And at night try just snuggling or rocking instead of nursing. Or even have daddy put him to bed for a couple of nights, sticking to your routine (except the nursing of course). After a couple of nights without nursing, he might not even ask for it again. Good luck. Weaning is bitter sweet.
Hmmm, tough question. When I weaned my daughter (she was 21 months) we cut out al feedings associated with sleep. So nighttime became something anyone could do...with stories, music (a lullaby cd I played every night while feeding until I stopped feeding then kept music). She needed consistenyt signals for bedtime so I only removed 1 aspect (nursing) but all else was same and after 3 nights she understood I would only nurse her in the morning.
However with you, even the morning feed is associated with sleep. So I would suggest you go to your baby at 5am and feed less each day, and sing or use a lovey which within a few weeks will replace the feeding altogether. Maybe only feed in 1 place in your home (living rm or den) so milk won't be associated with bedroom!
Good luck. Its doable. Just don't rush or get frustrated bc babies pick up on anxiety and need you t be reassuring. Right now milk is most reassuring!!
I just finished weaning my 15 month old.
The bed and night time feedings were the last to go. I offer her a drink of water at bed time and if she wakes up during the night. I was a bit more casual with the weaning. I never offered at bed or during the night and the 1st time she indicated that she wanted to nurse I would offer her the cup and if she insisted then I would nurse. It took about 2 months but I hate losing both my alone time after the kids go to bed and missing sleep so for me it is easier to nurse than fight.
Blessings, K.
Hi L.
Here is my experience. I just weaned my daughter about two weeks ago and I did it sooo slowly.. She will be 17 mos next week... After she turned a year I stopped pumping at work and over a few weeks cut out the feedings except for morning, naps and bedtime.. I can't remember when exactly I cut out middle of the night feedings but it was sometime around then, I just stopped offering and instead just rocked her... I slowly cut out morning and naptime feedings, morning seemed to go faster (she wakes up around 6) I would either just get up and start the day and bring her down to breakfast, or if I wanted to rest a little longer I put in a dvd and let her watch in bed.. Some days I would still feed her if she wanted it, but most of the time the dvd distracted her enough.. Naps were a little harder. I would try to not feed her and just rock her, but if she got upset I would then feed her.. If I had errands I would try to time them so we'd be on our way home around nap time and then she would fall asleep in the car... I guess by about 14/15 mos she was down to just night time.. Gradually, I just cut back the time I was nursing her at night from about 15 mins to about 5.. When she was just on bedtime, occasionally she would ask for it in the morn. or naptime and I would tell her no milk, just at bedtime. I also had my husband put her to bed once in a while... Two weeks ago when I weaned her I just had my husband do bedtime by himself for about 4 or 5 nights in a row. We skip the milk at bedtime and she is fine. Then I did bedtime, and she went to sleep without milk.. Then the next night she was upset so I let her nurse and after about 2 minutes she pulled herself off and has not asked for it since...
I really think its a "two step forward, one step back" process..Also it takes some trial and error to see what works for you. My daughter eats dinner around 530-6, and is in bed between 7-730.. She usually wakes up by 6 or 630 and I shower and get dressed and get her dressed and bring her down to breakfast..
Maybe have your husband go into him at 5am and comfort him and see how that works.. Or if you want, offer him milk or water first and see if he will take it.. If you can, I think you should not give yourself a time limit of 4 weeks. I think that might put too much pressure on yourself and make everyone frustrated.. I think its ok to cut out a feeding and then if you have a day or a few days where he needs that feeding than give it to him. Then try again the next day.
I was so anxious about the whole weaning thing, but found that once i relaxed about it and just let things happen it worked out fine.. I just decided to take my time and try to wean while keeping her happy and content and not turning it into a battle.
Good luck!
