Still Breatfeeding at 22 Months!

Updated on June 14, 2010
K.P. asks from Miami, FL
19 answers

My daughter is 22 months old and is still beastfeeding. My doctor doesn't see anything wrong with it so in a way I am happy to continue, it's not really such an issue when we're at home BUT when we go out she wants milk it's a tad embarrassing. At a family do she wanted milk at the dinner table so she had it, everyone said 'ooh she wants some 'BITTY' (as per the new slang word for it from the tv show Little Britain'.
When she wants my milk I say No and offer her a drink from a cup, beaker etc, she will happily drink strawberry milk, banana milk, tea, water, fresh orange juice mixed/diluted with water but throughout the day she will come to me for the odd sip.
I thought perhaps it was a 'comfort' thing but she is actually drinking the milk and getting a decent amount.
When she wakes up in the morning the first thing she wants is my milk, when she wants to go to sleep, either bedtime or just for a nap, my milk is what she wants.
I thought to myself..oh well, one day she'll grow out of it and wont want my milk anymore. She understands lots of things and is very communicative, so I thought..when she is more able to undertand a proper conversation I can tell her that she shouldn't be having my milk anymore BUT I'd like to stop very soon. If she really wants my milk and I say No..ooh a tantrum arises and I give in. I don't really know what to do to wean her, do I just say NO and be firm about it even tho it will upset her or do I just wait for her to grow out of it? What do other mums do?

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So What Happened?

Thanx everyone for your advice and tips.. oh and to Lisa O... she does also drink cows milk..from a cup! I don't see the issue you appear to have with her drinking strawberry or banana milk, it's still whole milk but with flavour. Thanx everyone else I have sent you all a flower for taking time to leave a comment ;-)

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T.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Both my guys BF til 3 (or a few months after three for the little one as we were also transitioning to big boy bed and chose to do things one at a time) With both, just started to set parameters that kept on getting narrower and narrower gradually. Only at night time. Only just before bed. Only for two minutes. If he woke up, I had water and maybe a little apple or cereal if he was hungry. And all the while talking about how when he was three we wouldn't have mommy milk any more, because it's really for babies and he was a big boy now. It is not always pretty at first, but amazing how adaptable they become once that's the way it is. And then after he had adjusted to the big boy bed, I went on a three day weekend and he was with my mom. When I came back, no more mommy milk. No on to pooping on the potty:)

5 moms found this helpful
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N.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

My daughter used the stuff they sell to keep children from biting their fingernails. One taste and the baby got mad but never wanted mommy's yucky-tasting "bitty" again.

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J.T.

answers from Savannah on

At that age, it's likely a comfort thing rather than a need. My son, only 15 months, is also still BF, but he doesn't fuss when Mom's not around to give him his usual milk feedings or if it's at an inopportune time (such as if we're out to eat in a restaurant). What we initially started with him when he was about 9 months old is singing a special song and bouncing/rocking him a certain way while I was feeding him. It became part of his "routine" that he associated with milk time. After doing this a while, he was comforted just by the song and bounce/rock, which made everyone's lives easier, because if I am late getting home (I work 3 evenings a week after my husband gets home)-- close to or past my son's bedtime-- he is just fine settling for Dad singing his silly song.

Congratulations on your decision to continue BF-- it's really absolutely normal and natural, don't let anyone convince you of otherwise or make you feel embarrassed. Only in the US do we have these ridiculous notions about children being weaned at an exceptionally young age.

6 moms found this helpful
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R.C.

answers from Miami on

My little one was an enthusiastic nureser too. i didn't mind that she wanted to keep nursing, in fact, I loved it. I also felt no shame about nursing her whenever, wherever (I was pretty adept at remaing covered while doing it, so no one was offended). I weaned her at 2 1/2 because of my own health issues, but would have gladly continued a bit more. There is nothing shameful about nursing a 22 month old in public. She is still a baby! Enjoy this stage as long as you can. The only culture that has taboos about nursing is ours. It's crazy. Don't buy into it. Also, I found that toddlers use nursing it as a way to "destress" themselves and YOU! Never let anyone or yourself feel bad for doing exactly what God created for you and your little one. Enjoy and you will have no regrets.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I suggest that you gradually wean her. Perhaps let her bf in the morning and night. Talk with her ahead of time and explain that you are wanting her to be a big girl and drink out of a glass during the day but she can have the breast in the morning and evening. See how that goes. Perhaps you'll feel comfortable with this arrangement until she weans herself.

4 moms found this helpful
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J.P.

answers from Boston on

My husband and I take turns putting my daughter to bed and getting up w/ her on weekends. When she was close to 2, she no longer asked to nurse if Daddy was in charge. Then we went on vacation and put him in charge for all wake up and bed times. No issues. When we got home I just told her I didn't have any more milk. It went surprisingly smoothly.
Good luck,
J.

4 moms found this helpful
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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

I nursed my son past 2.. we only nursed upstairs in a rocking chair in his room.. he nevr thourght about nursing in public -never asked for nursing any place.. we only nursed in that chair.. we had nursing times.. morning, nap and bedtime.. taht is it.. no other times.. if he got terribly upset he might get an unscheduled nursing but that was not even once per month..

I would start this at your house.. only nurse in one place.. preferably in her room.. tell he no anywhere else..

I dont know why she is getting flavored milk (strawberry banana...) she sheould be getting whole cows milk.. in a cup...

4 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Peoria on

as a parent, you should definitely mean what you say. if you want to be done, be done and don't look back.

if you're not ready to be done and want to avoid embarrassing situations, set up certain times/places (at home only or in the morning and at night only), and stick to that.

4 moms found this helpful
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R.A.

answers from Boca Raton on

I nursed my daughter till her 4th birthday. I wish I didn't stop till she never asked again. I find it sad that people will make you fell badly for nursing your daughter, giving her what nature provides instead of giving her the breast milk from a cow, which makes NO sense. The problem is that our society thinks it's ok to flash our breasts for men to appreciate but not to use them for what their true intention is, to feel our children. But at the same time people think it's ok to exploit cows to feed us instead of using what we're meant to use, our milk and then no other milk after we're children. Milk is a source of growth, that's it's only purpose.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Miami on

Her nursing habits are totally normal for her age. And at her age, I think it's fine to set limits. I don't really feel comfortable nursing my kids in public after a year although I do nurse until at least 2 years. (Well, I'm not super comfortable at any time, but it bothers me the most when they're over a year. Those are my own issues though.) It's ok to tell her you'll nurse at home and try to distract her. And she may not be happy about it, but if you're consistent, she'll get it. I wasn't sure if you just didn't want to nurse in public or you are wanting to wean totally.

If you really want to wean, I would follow all the advice you got about doing it gradually and having parameters. Limit her to one place in your house. Then limit the times, i.e. just at sleep times. DIstraction and redirection help a lot. Making sure you tell her exactly when you will nurse next will help too. EX: Let's go get some milk/get the play-do/go outside to ride your bike and we'll nurse after naptime!

You've done a GREAT job nursing so long! And know that there's nothing wrong with nursing longer if that feels right for you both. =)

2 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

why 'shouldn't' she be having your milk? 22 months is certainly not too old to nurse. i can't tell from this whether you are looking for advice as to how to wean or support for doing so. she sounds like an incredibly happy, well-adjusted baby who is comfortable drinking a variety of liquids and still loves to nurse. what's embarrassing about that?
khairete
S.

2 moms found this helpful
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W.T.

answers from San Diego on

I know you got answers you seem happy with, but I wanted to chime in anyways:

I am nursing my 31 month old and my 7 month old.

My older son now has a few rules (instituted around 26 months or so). I rarely nurse in public with him, I nurse only around sleeping times, and when I am tired and want a break, I will let him nurse, but I do a countdown and then tell him we are all done. Sometimes I sing the abc's and sometimes I count to 60.

We had meltdowns early on, but now rarely. He will even say "mama's boobs, mama's rules". :) There are definitely challenges to nursing a toddler, but it is so worth it!

So many groups now recommend nursing at least 24 months and I think the world average for weaning is still 4 years.

I doubt my decisions some days...it's hard, but for example, this week he was sick, vomiting, diarrhea and the only thing that kept him out of the hospital and hydrated was nursing. So, I am so grateful that he's still nursing.

I would set your rules and the tantrum will cease eventually. She's at the age of learning about boundaries so she will find a reason to have them anyways. :)

Remember, the nursing relationship has to be mutually beneficial to both. I will probably let my son decide when he is done nursing and although I am a huge proponent of extended nursing and child led weaning, it ain't easy sometimes!

You should be very proud of what you've given your daughter thus far. Here's the coolest link for reasons to BF. I am sure you know most, but there were some new ones to me too!

http://www.bestforbabes.com/your-mom-made-wonder-food/

1 mom found this helpful
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C.M.

answers from Miami on

I understand what you are going through. My son was in the same scenario at 22 months so at 23 I tried weening him by telling him it was all gone. I was consistwent with my answer the first time he asked and to my surprise he got up and went to get his sippie cup with chocolate milk off the table that I had made earlier. He lasted six days and included in those days he slept over a day and a half at his dads house. Ultimately I gave in not because he insisted but because I missed the bond and was not ready to end that phase between us. It really isn't a bother so why not? I lost a lot of my milk where I no longer feel let down but everytime he nurses I notice drops of milk left on my breasts so there is still milk there. He nurses just like your daughter, mostly upon rising and to nap and bedtime. Every professional has told me they wean themselves and I remember thinking that I couldn't wait that long or that wasn't what I wanted to hear, I wanted a solution so I tried one .I also read a lot of the weaning suggestions online and negative psycological side affects some of these traditional weaning tips could have (like making your nipples taste bad or getting a nurse) before I made my choice. I will tell you that one of the things I was recommended by la leche was to do something you normally do during nursing to help the child feel the bond like rubbing her back or scratching her arm, caressing hair etc while feeding regular milk or whatever should you decide to wean and lay her back against your chest. This helped a lot. My son turns 2 tomorrow and we are happily breast feeding. Good Luck and whatever your decision is don't feel guilty, you have provided a good base for your daughter. Most moms last 3 months and I commend you on your commitment to have given her the most optimal nutrition available. Cheers!

1 mom found this helpful
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R.W.

answers from Tampa on

Personally I think she is to old to be breastfeeding. If you do complete research on this topic you will see that in the countries where they breast feed their children to older ages they have rotten teeth. I was done breastfeeding both of mine at a year old. That is what the doctors said is best for the mother and baby. Breastfeeding is a strain on a womans body and should only be done until the child is old enough to get complete nurishment from foods and drinks. Your are destroying your health if you continue to breasfeed. Also your daughters teeth and possibly her jaw structure. Mom's on here that are telling you they are still breastfeeding of course do not want you to think there is something wrong with it because they are doing it. Just like a bank robber sees nothing wrong with robbing a bank even though it is entirely wrong. Let her have her fits. If she were on a bottle you would just throw it out. So tell her the milk is gone. I bought my girls special cups to celebrate their not breasfeeding any longer. I never had a problem at all. They handled it great.

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S.S.

answers from Miami on

Maybe she needs to start learning how to self regulate instead of looking to you to regulate her. So often, that is the case and has nothing to do with thirst but about control and being 1.5. If you decide to stop then she will have to stop, she has no choice. If you do want to stop then put band-aids on yourself and tell her they are broken. Children this age understand broken and then they forget about it and are weaned. If you want to continue, then do so but do not confuse her.

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L.C.

answers from Boca Raton on

In my opinion. I don't think you should rely on your child to wean themselves. They don't know how too, they don't even know that they are supposed to. I think that a lot of mothers get addicted to breastfeeding just like their child does. And the longer you wait, the harder its gonna be on both of you. I know that BFing is a great tool for bonding with your child. But when they are old enough to run and talk and play, I think that those are the things that you need to do with your child to bond with them. I'd say its ok to breastfeed up to 2 years.. but anything after that might be a little excessive.

M.L.

answers from Chicago on

My daugher was the same exact way! I started to offer her warm milk in a cup. At 6 years old when she needs comfort she will ask for a sippy cup of warm milk. It was very very hard to wean her, but the warm milk did seem to satisfy her needs.

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R.S.

answers from Miami on

If you want to wean, you have to be consistent. That's how I was when I wanted to wean my son off the nights. I didn't mind during the day, but after 2 1/2 years of not sleeping, I needed sleep. I would have continued breastfeeding my son forever if need be, because I believe there's nothing better. I would pump forever, just to give my kids something so wonderful when they are sick.

The only reason, I eventually weaned myself and I shouldn't say that I weaned him but nature weaned my son, when I got pregnant with daughter and after about six months, my milk was gone. I was very depressed because it was something he needed and I couldn't give to him any more.

He still asks for it and I sometimes let him try but the funny thing is, he doesn't remember how to do it. I know there's milk because my daughter gets plenty. There will always be a sadness for me knowing that he wasn't ready to wean.

I hope that this helps.

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I love little Britain..

We had a beloved neighbor who had 4 children. Her eldest breast fed through the 3rd child.. She was 4 and a half when someone mentioned to the mom.. "Your daughter can pour juice for herself from the fridge, maybe it is time to wean her." Our friend said, "I was just waiting for her to wean herself."

Her 3rd and 4th only bf for a few months and our friend was devastated, she loved to beast feed. I guess we learned that every child is different.

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