13 answers

L.. asks from Roanoke, VA on October 26, 2011

Stick It Out or Go for It? UPDATED

Mamas,

I need your opinion. This is a little sensitive for me, so bear with me while I spill my guts.

Not sure if any of you know my story, but I had a missed miscarriage and D&C back in May at 12 weeks. It turned out to be a partial molar pregnancy, which devastated my husband and I, because this was our first. My OB told us at first that following my D&C, we had to wait a year to try again, so do NOT get pregnant. I definitely understood that, because I had to go in for weekly and now monthly hcg tests, and wait for my body to get back to normal and stay that way. Last month, my OB said that she’d been doing some research on partial molar pregnancies, and given that my husband and I are both young, healthy, no underlying issues, and my tests and body are back to “normal,” we could start trying again after 6 months, which will be November 19th.

But mamas, here’s the thing. It has been hard to try to NOT get pregnant. I refused to take anything with chemicals or hormones in it, so we chose condoms. But now that we’re so close to the 6 month date, I’m finding it difficult to just HOLD OUT for a little longer, you know? Because really, what will 3 weeks mean in the grand scheme of things? Why can’t we just quit trying to prevent a pregnancy at this point?

Now, I know that if I ask my OB, she will tell me to wait, and she wants one more negative test before we get her blessing. My husband and I are both just getting antsy, and we’re tired of condoms and just want to play without worrying. We're not pressuring ourselves to get pregnant now or anything, we just are ready to be passed all of this. I understand waiting, but I jus’ don’ wanna anymore!!

So, tell me…do I stick it out, or just go for it?

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So What Happened?™

I know you guys are all right. I just needed a little motivational kick in the pants, I guess.

The chances of this happening again are minuscule. Which means that once this ordeal is over, I'll be back at square one, with just as much (or little) risk of any kind of miscarriage as any other woman. My OB said the same thing--that this experience will likely have no effect on future pregnancies, since a PMP is a "freak of nature" occurance. If we did somehow get pregnant in the next few weeks, I wouldn't be sad or scared at all. But the anticipation of moving on completely is killing me. BUT, I will wait, because it's the right thing to do. Thanks again, Ladies. :)

Featured Answers

❤.I. answers from Albuquerque on October 26, 2011

I would wait it out, you're soooo close. A month goes by in a flash! I've been there so I know how you feel. Good luck!

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B.. answers from Dallas on October 26, 2011

Stick it out. Your OB obviously has your best interest at heart. She sounds like a good Dr., please trust her. She knows what she is doing.

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❤.I. answers from Albuquerque on October 26, 2011

I would wait it out, you're soooo close. A month goes by in a flash! I've been there so I know how you feel. Good luck!

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T.N. answers from Albany on October 26, 2011

Hmmm, well you said it yourself....'what will 3 weeks mean in the whole sceme of things'. Nothing, zilch, notta, so why risk it?

I suppose 3 weeks is a long time if you're 4 years old, or holding your breath, but in relationship to parenthood 3 weeks is hardly worth mentioning. So why not just wait?

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C.C. answers from Houston on October 26, 2011

I would do anything I could to insure I have the healthiest baby possible. You wouldn't want it any other way. So just wait!

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S.L. answers from Kansas City on October 26, 2011

Patience! You wouldn't want to risk problems just because you didn't wait a little.

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L.F. answers from San Francisco on October 26, 2011

Hi,

I know you really want to be done with condoms, but your doctor has valid reasons for wanting you to wait. She wants you to have a healthy baby and has the same goal in mind as you do---just wait a few more weeks, get her blessing and then have fun!! GL

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J.W. answers from St. Louis on October 26, 2011

I don't understand a lot about what you went through but isn't a possibility of trying too soon having another miscarriage? If that is the case wouldn't not waiting one month potentially put you through a lot of pain and then time wise having to go through the same six months again?

If that is the case wouldn't it be best to wait a few more weeks.

Well that and it seems like the issue is more about pleasure during sex than making another baby which really makes it seem not worth it.

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☆.A. answers from Pittsburgh on October 26, 2011

Hi L.,
I'm sorry. I had 3 miscarriages before my son.
I think you need to realize that a molar or partial molar pregnancy is very, very different from a garden-variety miscarriage (if there is such a thing!).
I'm surprised that your OB agreed to 6 months! I've always heard one year--for SURE. Maybe there is new information out there. Medical findings are always happening.
For me, I would look at it in exactly the opposite way: You're SOOOOO close! What's waiting 3 more weeks in the grand scheme of things?

All the best and here's to a speedy conception! Just make sure the time is right.

p.s. Did you know your risk of having another molar pregnancy is REALLY REALLY low now? That's a great thing!

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D.S. answers from Norfolk on October 26, 2011

Hi, L.:

Have you thought about the consequences
if you got pregnant again right away?

What would they be?

How would both of you feel if something
happened if you didn't wait for the Doc's
blessing.

On the other hand, if the Doc gave you her
blessings, how would you feel if something
happened after you did get pregnant again?

Just wondering.
Good luck.
D.

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N.B. answers from Minneapolis on October 26, 2011

I had a partial molar with my first miscarriage about 20 years ago (WOW). I was never given a time frame. I went in weekly for months to get the blood draws until my level went back to zero. I had 3 miscarriages in 11 months, all different, and later had a determination of Ashermans Syndrome (severe scar tissue in the uterus). No way of knowing at that point if it was the cause or the result of the losses. I had surgery to remove it all (all but a thumbnails space was scar tissue).

Then I got pregnant with my daughter. She is 17 now. A very talented Artist with a promising future!

3 weeks and one more test is no big thing. I mean it IS..I remember being told after all the losses, then the surgery, to NOT get pregnant. I had issues with condoms and they wouldn't let me use anything resembling a chemical due to all my issues and junk. Doc actually said to sleep in seperate rooms or even houses if we had to while we waited 2-3 months for the opinions of these "Top Docs" they sent all my history and info to to get a consensus opinion on how to proceed.

I beat them to it and went in 2 days before Christmas and KNEW I was pregnant. I had done this part of pregnancy 3 times already in the last year or so. My surgery had been in October and we were told NO sex..no chances as I seemed fertile as heck. But they were not mad, luckily. They were just waiting until after the first of the year to have me come in for a conference about it all. The Top Doc's opinion was to all I could to get pregnant ASAP (cuz they knew my uterus was clean and clear after the surgery) and would be my best chance at a healthy outcome.

But Whats 3 weeks? Anticipation........sounds fun!

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J.S. answers from Washington DC on October 27, 2011

Stick it out.
It is not too much longer to wait for that green light. If you did not wait, got pregnant right away and then had something happen with the baby I think the guilt would be horrible. So if I were in your shoes, I would wait till the Dr said go for it.

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E.E. answers from Washington DC on October 27, 2011

Have you considered using a sponge for contraception? You can watch the old Seinfeld episode if you need inspiration. But I much prefer them to condoms.