Std??

Updated on March 10, 2011
N.P. asks from Lawrenceville, GA
8 answers

This is so embarrassing, but I need some help. After ending my 14-yr relationship, I have just today been told that I have herpes! I just can't believe this! I am so devasted!!! When I broke up with my Ex I couldn't imagine being in another relationship b/c he has gone crazy on me and I don't want to encounter that again!...and now I certainly can't imagine ever being in a relationship because of this STD (that has no cure) that my ex has been so kind enough to give me!!! Anyone living with it - have any advice? I feel so stupid!!

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B.W.

answers from Atlanta on

Courtney I am so sorry for you. I have a friend that was in a relationship with a girl with herpes and we did some research on it together. Although there is no cure, there are prescriptions out there that can help you suppress the outbreaks and help you lead a more "normal" life. It's a new kind of normal though. It's probably going to be alot like having kids when you date- you know the story. Once a guy finds out that there are children involved, he may not want to be involved- Same thing here. Not every relationship will go the way you want it, but you need to still tell your partners so they have a choice. But WHEN you find a guy that sticks around at least you will know that he wants a relationship. Not such a bad thing. Good luck.

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K.F.

answers from Athens on

My best friend got it in college. She told her husband when they first started dating and went to the doctor together to talk about it. He still doesn't have it and they a "normal night life". If someone really wants to be with you, they will understand. There are precautions you can take.

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K.W.

answers from Atlanta on

I have known 2 women with herpes and both found loving partners to look past it. They both are now married and have kids. You will just have to find someone who is mature and loves you. Both of them were able too. Good luck.

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J.G.

answers from Atlanta on

well. i had a boyfriend once who had it and he just told me flat out that he had it and i cared enough about him to stay with him and i never got it. (of course we're not together now because he really was a psycho) but the std was the least of his problems!
so if you find the right person, he'll stick by you with it, but you have to be honest up front.
just explain everything that can happen and that he can't get it unless you have an outbreak. if he's worth anything he'll understand.
build up a relationship before you try to jump into bed.

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M.M.

answers from Atlanta on

I agree, you just have to be honest upfront and if they really like you they will understand.

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C.W.

answers from Columbus on

Hey Courtney. I wanna first say I am sorry that you are going through this. I can sense the devestation you feel by reading your words. I too and partly in your situation. I am still with my husband though. For reasons, you left out what STD you have and I am not trying to ask you to tell everyone.But I want to share my story with you. In 2004, my husband and I were stationed in Alaska at the time. He came down to fort benning for training, mean while he met someone and they had their thing. But when he came back and for a month or so, I didnt know about the other woman but he was very obviously guilty. I was also pregnant....I was pregnant when he left! I found about the affair and the rest was history right? Wrong! We got out stationed out here in June 2005 and it wasnt til about July or August I finally had a pap. I got my first abnormal results. I finally got to see a doctor to dignose me in Nov or Dec sometime with HPV. HPV is a std dispite out misleading the commericals are. You can still get this with using a condem. My mind was going 100miles per hour. I thought it was what he did with the other woman though I never outloud said it. Which may to this day be it or may not. Learing from CPT Barrett at fort benning's hospital, HPV can stay dormate. The way she put imagine a bear in hibrnation for the winter. It sleeps all winter and when spring comes is ready to wake up. Thats the way HPV can be too. I lost my virginity when i was 21, it could of been that guy. Or it could of been my exboyfriend before my hubby. Or it could of been him. But you know what sticks in my head daily...I did this to myself. I wasnt careful enough with my other sexual partners. I could of hurt my baby girl. My STD was so extreme I had cancer cells. So CPT Barrett says there are no abnormal cells BUT the HPV still remains. If my hubby and i one decide we dont want to be together, I have to live with this. We still dont even know if hubby has it. Not a sure way either. But you know what I am still alive right. I have almost 4 children (in august). I have 3 kids that are depending on me right now. I cant afford or take time to be angry at this. I want to make my kids world and life the best it can be. i watched the last rocky movie lastnight and Rocky said something to his son that i love so much. his son was so angry at him for wanting to box again and told him nd dont you care what other ppl think about you and me. moral: rocky said, you know son life is gonna take swings at you every day. some you can miss and some that are gonna knock you out plumb cold, but its your choice how you fight back. you can get up and keep fighting back win or loose. its not if you win or loose, its how u fight back that counts. ( i made my own words, Rocky sounds so much better at it than that) turns out HPV is getting so more common with women, that women dont even know they have it still. So i had a shitty deal in december. i re-dealt the deck and will keep playing this game life. if you ever wanna chat or something about whatever. or just vent and let it all out. u can drop me a line at ____@____.com or IM on yahoo messenger at armydswife and i will give you my number. i am praying for you girl. its going to be alright!!

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S.L.

answers from New York on

I guess having herpes/HIV/HPV is not the end of the world. I'm living with HIV positive for 2 years. I was upset at the beginning.
A std support site Positivemate.com helps me find useful, up-to-date information for cure..meet lots of warm-hearted people..i always ask the live std counselor any timeif any question.. hope this helps.

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