Stay in Bed Strategies

I have a very active 5 year old that does not like to sleep in her bed...and never really did, after the crib. I have come to realize that it doesn't really matter where in her room she sleeps as long as she sleeps and stays in her room.

There are no toys in her room, just books.

I was like that as a child. I have on occasion used one of those door safety latches in the inside of the door, so she can't escape. After we found her in the bathroom trying to take a bath at 2 am at 2 years old, we decided that "locking" her in was safer than her getting into trouble at night...and I could sleep better knowing that she was somewhere in her room.

Oh, and I'd keep the new baby with you guys until he/she is sleeping through the night.

Good luck!

L. B

A strategy that worked for my friend was if her child stayed in bed all night the "good night sleep tight" fairy would come and leave a small toy/book at the foot of the bed...nothing big - a matchbox car, small book, trinket...also when he got up in the morning it gave them an extra 15 minutes before he called for them because he played with his toy/book

I personally, still have a gate on my son's bedroom door...if he keeps shutting the regular door, consider taking the door off...very easy and it will save your door from scratches and dings. OR a dutch door would work.

Whatever you do just be consistent and it will click.

We lost naps when my son turned 3 and yes around 4 PM he hits the wall and everything sets him off.....bedtime for us is still 7 PM and he wakes up around 6:30 AM

Good news is spring and summer are around the corner and I feel the kids sleep better because they get more fresh air!

try putting him back in his crib & gradually doing the toddler bed....Good luck!

My 3 1/2 yo is displaying some of the same behaviors as your son. We finally figured out that he needs to use up some energy. Since it is winter we aren't as active. We plan something everyday - even if it is only riding bikes in the basement - to get more physical activity. So far it is working. Naptimes are still a little problematic, but we have no problems with nighttime.

My son also recently informed us that he would rather sleep on the floor instead of in his bed. At first we said NO, but told him we would discuss it, thinking he would forget about it. Not so. He asked the next night so we made a few rules, pulled out a couple comforters and let him sleep on the floor. It is now week 3 and he is still at it. He is sleeping well and abiding by the rules so I am willing to allow it to continue.

Another thing that might help is looking at your bedtime routine. Do you have a calming period before bedtime? Also do you work during the day? Maybe your son misses you. Perhaps spending some time alone with your son as part of a bedtime routine would help - pick out pj's together, talk about the day, read a book, etc.

Another thing that helps when my kids are upset about going to bed is letting them know they aren't the only ones and that there isn't anything fun happening to miss out on. We look outside and see that it is dark. We point out the street lights and say that when it is dark it is bedtime. We point out that there aren't any kids playing and that even the animals go to sleep. We look and listen and, of course, all is quiet. (I guess if you live in the city that strategy probably won't work.) Sometimes we call my parents and they tell my kids they are tired and are going to bed, too. Good luck!

When we switched our daughter to a "big girl bed" (twin instead of her toddler bed, converted from her crib, we made a big deal out of it - how it was a big responsibility for a big girl and how it showed she was really growing up. We let her help pick out her own sheets & decorations. And we let her spend time the first few days just playing on her bed by herself as she got used to it. The first few nights she was a little afraid because it was something new. But we took a little extra time with her bedtime to scare away monsters & make sure she was settled. When she fights (which is rare now), we ask her if she wants to go back to a baby's bed instead of handling the responsibility of her big girl bed. The answer is always no and she settles down and goes right to sleep.

Hi S.,
We went through similar problems with my son, but not for the length of time that you have been. I wonder if you ask him to help you rearrange his room another way and/or decide what books and toys he would like to keep in there if that would help. You know how they like to feel independent at that age...maybe letting him feel like he had a part in the change would help things. The other thing we did is turn the door hardware so that the door locks from the outside. We also endured the banging on the door and yelling, but within two weeks he was sleeping through the night again. Possibly seeing the gate is making him more frustrated because it is a punishment in a way. We kept his routine the same at night bath, read to him and then bed) and then would say goodnight and close and lock the door. I went back in the first few nights because I felt so bad with the yelling and crying, but quickly found out that only made it worse. We decided to let him go after that and like I said, within two weeks he was sleeping normally again. Also, maybe you could let him get a new stuffed animal or book or car (whatever he is into) to keep just in his room. I think the idea is to make him feel like his room is a special place for him so that he wants to be there. Good luck!

It sounds like he's afraid he'll miss something. It's probably insecurity from you having another baby. Just make sure you give all of the kids the same effection and love, and be firm with rules. Don't reward bad behavior with attention. Any kind of attention is good to a child. You just need to show him that he isn't going to get the attention he wants by throwing a fit. Don't give him any attention until it is time for him to get up. Let him throw a fit a couple of times, he will eventually see that you aren't going to bother and stop. I know it is hard with the baby, because she amy get woken up, but it will only get worse if it goes on like that.

.

S.,

we also moved our soon-to-be three year old into his own room (before his little sister is born in March). He slept in his own "big Boy Bed" for the first week and then 4 times in one night he showed up beside my bed. I took an extra child-safety lock on the inside of his door (the doorknob kind). He is a very verbal child, so we talked about him staying inside his own room until Mommy or Daddy came to get him up. If he came out of his room we (my husband and I both did this together) told him that we would close his door.

He did, so we did. We only had to do that one night. Now everynight when he lays down he tells me, "I stay in my bed until Mommy and Daddy get me in the mornin'. Mommy leave the door open." It sounds slightly mean, but we both work and he needed to learn that he can't have the roam of the house when no one was awake to make sure he stayed out of things that could hurt him.

Hope that helps, =O}

I have a 3.5 year old son and since he switched out of the crib we have been using a sleeping bag (on his bed). He seems to feel more "secure" in it. We made a big deal about how special it was and he loves it. He only gets out on his own to use the potty.

Good luck!
A.

Go to the dollar store and buy three little toys or use three dimes. Put them in his doorway. Everytime that he crosses his doorway you take one away. What ever is left in the morning he gets to keep. You have to tailor this to the age and personality of your child but essentially you are putting the onus on him to stay in his room and making it his accomplishment. This worked for my older son who gets up at 2 a.m. all the time. If you use dimes, you have to make a big deal about getting him a special piggy bank and taking him to the store at the end of a week or whatever to buy him something special.