Stay at Home Parents

Neither. I stay home because that is what is right for my family and somehow we make it work financially. I must admit it's hard but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I stayed at home because I wanted to and could afford it. I went back to work recently and my salary covers the cost of preschool plus enough more that I don't feel like I'm working just to pay for childcare.

Is there a difference? For me, there isn't one. I never got far along enough in my career to get to the big bucks, so for me to work, a lot of my earnings would get eaten up by having to pay others for all the work that I do --from financial planning and landscaping and painting to daycare.

Yet, my hubby makes enough money that we don't need for me to work.

Honestly, finances aren't even a factor for us. I stay home because we determined before we were ever married that I would stay home with whatever children we have. We are both completely commited to this decision, and could not fathom doing it any other way. If money were a factor in it, then we would do anything we had to to enable me to stay home (as long as it was legal hehe). We will not put our children in daycare. We don't think it is the best option for them. We want them to grow up in our home, under the loving parenting that we give them. We don't want them spending the bulk of their day under someone else's care. Money was never even on the table or in the equation. It's a non-issue for us.

Not being able to afford working is more than just the price of daycare, but daycare is a huge chunk of it.

Oprah did a whole week on "not being able to afford to work" right when I was pregnant with my daughter 12 years ago. At that time, you needed to have a salary of $25,000 to be able to 'afford' your job if you had ONE child under 5. That amount is if you don't have a 2nd income/spouse that "floats" you money because you enjoy what you do etc. That means, keeping everything as it is right now and not spending ANY of the 2nd income on the "cost" of your job..... you would have to earn 25,000 to BREAK EVEN and come out at zero.

it's just taking into account gas, clothing, food, daycare, babysitting, convenience items, renting a movie because you are too tired to play Candyland again etc etc that you spend money on in order to and/or because you have a job.

It also means basic things like rent were already considered in the 1st income. so, for a single parent.... it gets tougher as the rent etc has to come out of the ONLY income.

$25,000. 12 years ago. To break even. with one kid.

That's almost DOUBLE minimum wage in some parts of the country. No wonder they say minimum wage is not a "living wage".

$25,000 is out of reach for a lot of people for a lot of reasons. But, even when you make $25,000 it only goes so far.

I wonder what it would be adjusted with inflation today?

This is a large part of how the "system" gets taken advantage of - I know, I know not this post. But, if you make less than 30,000 and you have one kid under 5 and no 2nd income to "float" you.... how do you do it? You do it, in some cases by taking a pay CUT to get benefits. Or you don't work at all and go on welfare. Because not working and getting food stamps is preferable to many versus the alternative of busting your butt at 2 jobs, never seeing your kids just to make ends meet.

Yep, you decided to have them. You should rasie them. I get the argument. But sometimes life happens.

Can you make it work on $25,000 a year? Certainly. I read that Yahoo article on that family of 4 where the dad was a teachers aide and they make $20,000 and are just fine.
But just because Michael Jordan is a great ballplayer, doesn't mean EVERYONE can be that talented if they pick up a basketball. There are many factors involved in what it takes to live within your means. it's not easy. It may be easy for YOU because you have that skill.

And if you live within your means there are trade offs to that.

There was a post earlier on Hamburger helper. Most of the moms were all Yuck. bad for you.

but it's $1.25/box. And I can add that gross 80/20 ground beef for $3.00/lb and feed myself and my daughter DINNER for $4.25. (plus blueberry muffins for $.99 in that bag). So now dinner's around $6.00 (plus I can take the leftovers for lunch the next day). And it takes 30 minutes to get it on the table. AND you can cook it WHILE you help her with a book report.

So the "price" for working at a low wage job that you can't really even afford is food that you can afford that isn't good for you.

Awwwww R., you got me off on a rant.

Now I must go back to work. At my job that not pays much more than that, if adjusted for inflation. So I can pay off my $50,000 student loan that I took out to get my master's degree to be qualified for said low paying job.

We won't be having hamburger helper tonight (although I have 2 boxes in the pantry.... just in case). Because even though I'm 40, my mommy came to town last week and we went to CostCo. So I have frozen chicken to bake and frozen brocolli to steam and it can all go in one pan and bake in the oven for 45 minutes while I help my daughter with her Character Essay.

We are on thin ice financially- living paycheck to paycheck- but I choose to stay at home. If I worked, I'm SURE I'd find a babysitter cheaper than what I'd be making.

But, as you may be able to tell, money isn't our priority. We just like to make sure we have enough to get by. So, we CAN TECHNICALLY afford to, but just barely!

I don't venture out and see what childcare prices are, though... as far as I'm concerned, it IS NOT AN OPTION! :)

We did, in the past, switched who was at home... when I worked he was at home and vice-versa... but now i just stay at home and he works. I, honestly wanted more control of the home life and our kids myself.

Both. My husband's salary alone sufficiently provides for our family. We also cannot afford to hire a sitter or day care provider if I was to go back to work. With the economy the way it is, and the cost of daycare, I would probably be spending more money on daycare then I would be making at work.

For us, I stay at home because I want to. We can more than afford it. Even back in the days when we were stretched for money, we still figured out a way for me to be home with the kids.....no satellite/cable, no eating out, etc. No matter what, I wasn't sending my kids to daycare......I'd work nights before I would do that.

My husband makes almost 4 times the amount that I did as a teacher, so working while paying someone else to care for our kids would be ridiculously silly anyways. Thankfully though, that with good financial planning I am able to stay at home and be very financial comfortable doing it.

I would stay home in a heart beat if I could afford it. It's my fondest fantasy.

Here's a thought, and please take this in the lighthearted way it's intended...
If your caregiver makes more money than you, become a caregiver! It sounds like that's the best paying job around! By that logic, watching 2 kids, you should make double what a working womans' salary is. :) Heck go for 3, you can move up a tax bracket.

Both. I could make enough to cover daycare, and maybe have $100-200 extra per month. (MAYBE!) When we weighed it out, it wasn't worth missing so much of my son's time, for that little money. I mean, we aren't wealthy. $100-200 is A LOT of money to us. However, it's not enough to make missing out on my son worth it. I've come to decide now, most amounts of money aren't. (For ME, I don't care what other people do in their families, or what's best for them!) Also, I really did and do have a desire to be at home. My husband really had the desire for one of us to be at home. He spend 9-11 hours every day in daycare, and then all summers, and holidays until 6th grade. He HATED it. He never had time with his parents. He said he knew his daycare providers more then his own parents. So, for him it was a priority.

Most families, could not live on my husband's salary alone. We are actually in the qualification range of food stamps and things like that. However, we live well AND very frugally. We don't carry debt and we have made smart purchases. If living on his salary alone became a problem and we weren't comfortable, I would try to find a night job, so that my son wouldn't have to be in daycare.

Wait, what?

I stay home because I can, because I like it, and because I'm good at it. It's not really about money. Which brings us back to the 'because I can' part.

How can a person 'not afford to work'? I guess I'm missing the point, sorry.

Does that answer the question?

:)

(kk, just saw your SWH. And yes, it's true, for a non professional position, working FT and Daycare CAN be a wash. It would've been for me when the kids were little. However if it got SO tight we might've lost the house or something drastic, I'd've done it anyway even for the 5 bucks I'd be getting out of it. Instead, I babysat, then when the kids were all school age, I worked in school with them.)

We never thought of it in that context. I stay home full time because that is what we want for our family.It was never a question about affording it or not. We discussed this when we were dating. Once married we made all financial decisions with this goal in mind. Then when babies came we were ready. We have lived on very little and made things stretch. Now my husband makes a very good income and we still try to be pretty conservative with expenditures.

We have received so many blessings from this decision. It has helped my husband quickly move up at his company with promotion after promotion because he is 100% available to his job when he is on the clock because I am 100% on the job here at home. He thanks me often for being so supportive to him so he can provide well for our family. And then I thank him often for busting his arse at work so I can do my job here at home and with the kids. Then when he is home he is all hands on deck! We have separate roles and jobs within our marriage and family...and it compliments each other.

We have never once thought about me using my degree to bring in any income.

Interesting question. Thanks for asking!

Good luck and best wishes!

I guess technically because we can afford to (but only because we sacrifice a few things to be able to do it...like my desire for a pontoon boat). But in reality: A little bit of both. We decided prior to having children that one of us was going to stay home with the children the majority of the time. It didn't matter which one of us did, we just wanted a parent to care for the children rather than a child care provider. I didn't have employer provided health insurance, so I switched from full time daytime hours to part time evening hours and then to full time SAHP once the second baby came along. Daycare costs in an accredited center or home in podunk Iowa are about $1000-$1300 per month per child (sometimes there is a discount for additional children). So, while I would walk away at the end of the week with money in my pocket, it isn't enough money for it to be worth having my children away from home and cared for by people who are also trying to care for umpteen other children. I don't want my baby to be left crying in a high chair for 30 minutes because the provider needs to clean up the mess that my 4 year old made and change the diapers of 3 other kids and feed another baby. Plus you add to that the fee that we pay for preschool in addition to daycare costs and then it would be about NOT being able to afford it.

All of the other SAHP that I know do so because they cannot afford daycare costs or daycare and preschool costs. Most of the working parents I know do not pay for child care because they are fortunate enough to have relatives who can care for their children (although I bet the relatives would like a paycheck).

It's both, for me.

We are very fortunate that I can afford to stay home and pay for three mornings of preschool. Last year, when I had my preschool, I wasn't fully enrolled (we had one slot open all year) and between my son's preschool and aftercare costs, we were running at a loss. I needed the aftercare because my preschool ended up running a schedule one half hour after his, so he needed someone to pick him up and I needed coverage so that I could do my prep/school related work.

I miss having a job outside of mom and housewife. Too bad the local grocery store doesn't just hire people for two-hour shifts to stock shelves or something equally mundane. It's not my dream job, but getting out of the house and having coworkers seems pretty enticing.

I truly have to say it would be because my 40+ work week paycheck would barely cover childcare if I worked full time. We could have still made it happen if we wanted to, it just wasn't worth that to me. Missing milestones and just spending the first 5 years with them day in and day out would have been a heartbreaker for me. Those are days and years you can never get back. So my husband and I chose for me to stay home.

Do we have to live with a tighter budget? Absolutely. It's worth it to me, but that's my personality, and I wouldn't fault for someone else to not make the same choice as me. I honestly believe that some moms are better as working moms, and some are better at staying home. It's a personality difference and what makes each one happy is their choice.

I originally quit my job when my second child was born because I thought we could afford for me to stay home. We figured childcare for two kids would take up most of my paycheck anyway. We were fine for a couple of years, but had some unexpected expenses and went through our savings. I was planning to go back to work in some capacity then I got pregnant with #3. Now there is no way I could work and pay for school tuition + after school care for my 4th grader and kindergartener, plus full-time childcare for the 2 yr old. We figure out creative ways to survive on one salary. We just refinanced again and will be saving $200.00 per month with that.

I was a full-time employee and main financial supporter of my family until about four years ago when I got divorced, and shifted to PT work and graduate school. I don't call myself a SAHM although my daughter stopped going to daycare when I moved to PT and her father retired. We are now available to care for her. She's 9 now, but went to daycare her first six years (and loved it and she got wonderful care from loving people).

I work because the work I do is valuable to me and to the people I work with. I intend to work in various capacities until I can't anymore for health or age-related issues. The money I can make is important, too. I have learned to live on much less as a student, but have no objection to making more money once I finish my degree. I feel I owe it to my daughter to provide for my own retirement as well as raising her in a reasonably financially secure manner.

I hope those of you who have decided that you can afford not to work have considered all the costs to you of being out of the workforce, and the risks. When you aren't working, you are not contributing to soc.sec. and this will affect your payments after retirement age. When you aren't working, are you contributing to your personal retirement funds? What is your plan upon unexpected divorce or death of your working spouse?

I work as a career consultant and I also volunteer at an organization whose mission it is to assist women to be financially successful through finding work or starting companies. I have met many women who are in a state of shock and financial desperation due to divorce or death of their spouse.

My job was eliminated when I was seven months pregnant. The economy is so bad here I have yet to look for a job. We don't have anyone to watch our son so I would end up putting him in daycare for half a day and end up working to just pay for that.

I plan on working part time once he's in school all day IF I can FIND a job...

Well, we COULD afford it, but only because my husband makes MUCH more money than I did/could. My salary would barely cover the cost of daycare, commuting, unpaid time off for kids' illnesses, food, clothes, etc. BUT, if I REALLY start to lose my mind while staying home, my husband said that he doesn't mind if I put the kids in daycare and go back to work.

I am not the best SAHM---I am not good without deadlines--very hard for me to get organized & keep up a routine--not very self-motivated.

Great question. Fortunately I stay at home because we can afford to.

When I did it was both. I was taxed along with my ex's income so I was around 25 to 30%. The most I could make was 30,000 so after daycare I wouldn't make much.

Then again my ex made enough I didn't have to work either which is why the high tax bracket.

Both. The reason we can afford for me to stay at home now is because we can't afford for me to work!

We can afford for me to stay at home. We both have graduate degrees in the sciences and we both can make good money. My husband can easily double my salary though so he is the one working while I stay home. I feel lucky but also we both worked our butts off throughout our 20s and early 30s to get where we are...Masters, PhDs and postdocs. If I went back to work next year I could pay the day care cost with about 1/4 to 1/2 my salary depending on what salary I got. I am not sure I should post this - it sound like I'm bragging. I'm really not...I'm just saying the reality of our situation. I'm very sorry for all those who are struggling. My brother and SIL both have to work. My SIL on my husband's side has to work and could not afford to stay home. I feel lucky definitely but I also feel like we made good choices and for us it was the right thing to do to wait till we had great careers established before having kids. We also both just happened to go into careers that pay decent money...and that is just luck bc what we both chose to do is just what we loved doing. Where I live, most stay at home parents do so because they choose to. This town where I live is filled with scientists and good paying jobs and most families here are doing fine financially as far as I can tell. I'm sure that's not the case with everyone but with most people I know it is.

Interestingly-worded question. We need two incomes where I live, and since my husband I don't have very high paying careers to support the cost of living, we have to work. Luckily we found part-time day care, two days a week and my inlaws take her the rest.

=Because i find it important to make it work for us for the benefit of my kids.

I definitely stay home because we can afford it. My husband makes enough for us to live comfortably with me at home. If i worked full, or even part time, we would definitely come out plenty ahead, and we could afford a few more luxuries and vacations. But we both agreed that me staying home right now is the best thing for our family.

Short Answer:
Because I can't afford to work.

Long Answer:
In my area, childcare is roughly the same price as in Seattle - maybe a bit cheaper.

My husband works 50 hours a week, and makes 12-15 an hour depending on the job and task. He does not receive benefits or bonuses.

If I were to work / when I did work outside of the home, I made 9 an hour plus tips. Depending on how busy my shift was, I averaged 14 an hour. So, before taxes, around 1960/month for 35 hrs/week.

I have two kids under the age of five. To pay for really fantastic childcare, I'd easily be looking at a few thousand a month. To pay for meh?-childcare I could *probably* get them covered for around 1500. Maybe even 1400. I live 25 minutes out of town and it costs approx. 8 dollars to drive in and out. So, just between gas and childcare, I'd be looking at least 1560 a month.

1960-1560 = I'd make 400 dollars before taxes per month - which looks like approx. working for 2.86 an hour. Good money right?

I know many, many well adjusted kids who are in daycare. The daycare I'd be able to afford for my kids would not provide my children with the same degree of attention, safety (I'll admit, I'm fairly uncomfortable w/ placing my young kids with folks who are not part of my intimate circle), excitement, education, and adventure. It simply isn't worth it - especially because I am not truly passionate about the work and, frankly, my time is worth more than 2.86 an hour.

Even Longer Answer:
I'll tell you this too. I have been a stay at home mom for the past 1 1/2 year. It's been really important to my families stability, especially during our immediate transition. I have appreciated the opportunity to offer my children the support they have required. I have reached a point where my children and I are ready for something else. I really, really, really, really, want to start working OR to go back to school (at least part time).

I just realized that being a SAHM during the summer is much, much more fun than in the winter - and since we have 10 months of winter, I think I ought figure out a more sustainable plan.

(I'm asking Santa to help me with this (a little touch of magic never hurts, right?))

If I go back to school, our local State College offers excellent childcare for a VERY reasonable price and I feel confident that I could find a way to afford this between financial aid and scholarships. I have no idea how to make either happen, but I'm sure I'll be able to figure it out if I put in an effort.

My other (suuuuuper dreamy) plan, is to get a job with a local agency I've been working with. Hmmmm. Makes my toes tingle to think about. I LOVE love, love, the work, and my supervisors and clients are communicating that they are very happy with me. So that's exciting and terrifying. Ultimate dreamy plan? Work twenty hours, get benefits (which is actually possible with them), and figure out childcare trades w/ my other friends who are in similar boats.

One way or another 2012 will be the year I start taking myself seriously.

Can afford to..

However, due to a serious accident, I know I am not capable of working FT. Even if I worked PT, I would then not have enough energy to care for the kids, house and hubs. I constantly have this worry for people who have been seriously injured and are there benefits for them or not? How do they make ends meet? Would they feel as exhausted as me too?

When I was a SAHM it was b/c we could afford for me not to work. I returned to work b/c an opportunity presented itself and I am now able to save for my kids college funds, savings, retirement, etc.

We can afford for me not to work it is hard work at times but we live within our means.

Both. I always wanted to stay home, but the only way I could convince my husband was to show him the numbers. With just one child I would be working for less than $3 an hour after all expenses and would be gone from the home at least 12 hours a day. Now that I'm pregnant with twins, there is no way I could afford daycare for 3.

I'm home until my kids are school age because partly of daycare costs and partly because I don't think I could manage a household very well and work FT (some can, me not so much). The daycare or school and aftercare schedule is h*** o* young kids. My Kindergartener is wiped out at 3 most days. But now my little one started preschool this year I can try and find something PT next fall. This winter with 2 in new schools I expect to spend half the winter home sick or running to the doctor.

Because I can afford to, though I work from home PT to help.

My cousin lost her job just before her DD was born and at this point daycare would eat up her check. They figured it was just as well that she was home and will likely return when her child is old enough for preschool (which is less $).

For a child under 2 at our former daycare it was $299/week. You do the math. That's not including my own commuting costs, lunch costs (even though I took lunch many days), the occasional dry cleaning, new work shoes, etc.

because i can afford it.

I work 1 night per week and every 3rd weekend because we can afford to. If I stayed home 100% of the time, we would be ok. I like the adult communication I get and I have a very interesting job. I feel like I have the perfect situation. I bring $800/month home in those few days I work, so I feel like I am doing my part for our spending money.

Well, right now, I am staying home because there is no work out there for me. I am available for relief work if someone needs me to cover but that's about it - not too many practices around here are hiring full-time. But DD is also in preschool 4 mornings a week and they have child care available Mon to Fri anytime that I would need it (6:00 am to 6:30 pm) and the cost is not bad at all - $4.00 per hour and I only pay for the hours she is there. So if I was able to, I would work because I'd make plenty enough of a salary to justify the day care costs. But then again, I only have the one child and the preschool tuition is already paid for (and that's 12 hours a week right there).

Of course anyone can afford to go to work if they are willing to ask the state to help with child care costs. If they make too much money and don't qualify for assistance then my thoughts would be that they live beyond their means.

We both stay at home because my hubby is on SSDI from having a heart attack and quadruple bypass surgery. I work 3 part time jobs but I don't get money from 2 of them. I get a gasoline credit card from my FIL for cleaning his house once a week. If both of us work then it takes us about an hour and a half. By myself it takes about 3 hours. I also work in the clothing store at the kids gymnastics and dance studio and only get credit to pay for the kiddo's classes. If I have too much built up I get items from the store at my regular cost but use the credit to pay for them. I take in ironing to earn my extra cash. I don't make a lot but I do make almost all of it as profit. This income was our only earned income last year on our tax refund.

If I wanted to go to work to earn money I could do so, I would have to fill out paperwork for child care assistance but I would only have a small co-pay if any at all.

I stay at home because we are fortunate enough to afford it for now.
We are average middle income family, however, my husband and I had 12 years together before our daughter was born and that made a huge difference in our financial situation. Very little debt - our home is paid for, we have no car payments. Make a huge huge difference in what we were able to do when our daughter was born.

I live in Kirkland too. And I can't afford to work. Price of living is HIGH right now.

I stayed home because we had a very sick little girl. Work for me was out of the questions since I do not know a single employer that would have tolerated me being off to at the doctors with the kid. Also , we calculated that if I stay home hubby could work all the overtime he could get and make more money that way than me working + daycare/transport.

I'm a SAHM because fortunately we can afford to~

I just saw this question because I clicked on your name after reading your response to another question...sorry my answer is so late. I know you don't need my answer to conclude your question, I'm going to add my 2 cents anyway.
I stay home because it is worth the sacrifice to be with my kids. I could go back to work and make enough money to send my kids to daycare all day, and still have pleanty left over, but I would rather not. My SO makes plenty of money for our family of 5, more would always be welcome, but not at the cost of having to put my children in the care of someone else everyday all day.

I stay home because we can afford for me to do so and i feel my time is better spent with my boys. I have the rest of my life to work outside the home, but I will never get these early years with my kids back.

First off, I have to say I think this is a really important question. That being said, for me, it was definitely because I couldn't afford to work. In my situation, I was working PT when my daughter was born and would have loved to have stayed home. Unfortunately I couldn't but my husband (at the time) and I worked out our schedules so one of us was always with her. Down the road a few months, I was asked if I wanted to come back full-time or stay part-time. Without hesitation, I said part-time. My boss was surprised I answered so quickly, but for me it was simple. I didn't want to give up my time with my daughter and working full-time meant I would be losing my time with my daughter all for the luxury of making enough money that would mostly be spent on daycare. It was a no-brainer for me!

I was paying $700/week in day care when I resigned!

We can afford for me to stay home right now.