Stay at Home or Continue Work?

Updated on October 06, 2010
S.K. asks from Chicago, IL
46 answers

I will be home with my son(5 month old) for one more month!. I will be going pack to work part time(for a while) and then back to full time.
I have an option to leave my job and stay at home with him. I am in a dilemna as I am not sure what to do? In my job, having a break in my career matters(work experience counts a lot for everything) and I had to take break once before this because of unavoidable circumstances.
I know going back to work after a year or so will need a lot motivation with a baby at home and also I will be losing on experience while my friends who passed out with me would have moved ahead in their career.
What do you think? Would it be a good decision for me to resign and stay at home with my son? I still have time before I get back to work but I am already sad :(

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the responses! It's really helpful ... It's difficult but hopefully I can make a decision and be happy with it :)

Featured Answers

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Stay at home! or maybe work part time? You will not regret staying home - it's the toughest job you'll ever love....

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A.T.

answers from Minneapolis on

There have been so many responses that I did not read them all. But if you're interested in more advice...here's mine-I was a stay at home Mom and I was a full time working Mom and realized I'm not the best person either way. I found that working part time gives M. the best of both worlds. It allows M. to bond with my sons and do fun activities that I otherwise couldn't do, because of time restrictions, when I was working full time. Working part time still gives M. the much needed sanity breaks, adult interaction and feeling of accomplishment outside the home. If it's possible for you to continue part time-I'd highly recommend it!

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Here's my vote: stay at home. Recertifications, updates, do come along but babies grow up and move out. Or at least one did so far in my household. You will never get this time back.

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T.N.

answers from Albany on

I have always believed a woman CAN have it all.

Just not at the same time!

Childhood is VERY short.

Yes, without having worked in years, you WILL be a little behind.

But you will have time to make it up.

In the end, NO ONE wishes they had spent more time working and less time with their kids.

Sorry to be preachy, just sayin'.

The only thing that will work for you and your fam, is the thing that feels RIGHT to you and your fam!

As long as you follow your own gut, the thing you choose will be the right thing!

Good Luck, and congrats on the baby, sounds like you have a pretty nice life!

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A.P.

answers from Boston on

I enjoyed working part time after my daughter was born only to have other adult interactions and feel productive out of the house. When I got pregnant again I looked forward to staying home for a while.
Can you stay as part time or would you have to eventually go to full time? I think part time gives you the best of both worlds, you get out of the house but don't have to dedicate your life to your job. If you're at a job that requires a lot of dedication then maybe you should consider staying home until your son is older, it sounds like you are enjoying it right now. And I think its more important to stay home while they are babies which is only a few short years.

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K.H.

answers from Dallas on

The answer to your question has to be made from your own convictions. I faced a similar situation after the birth of my first child. I was in a field that fit M. perfectly, I worked really hard to get to where I was proffesionally and there was great potential for growth. My salary was a good form of commendation and, basically, I loved my work. I made the decision to stay home and raise my children because at the end of the day, I know that as much as my job meant to M., I wouldn't say that I wish I'd spent more time at the office or furthering my carreer when my daughters were little. I now have the satisfaction of raising my children and giving them my time and providing them with my values and morals, knowing that the foundation I lay will guide them forward into their lives. With my youngest starting school now, I am going back into the workforce...older and less qualified than when I left. But, I will catch up eventually, and wouldn't trade the decision I made for where I could be proffesionally....but, that's just M. :)

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

Oh, I wish I had advice for you, but unfortunately, you're going to have to dig deep and determine what's best for your family.

I've always been a working Mom. Even when I was laid off for 3 months last summer, I kept the kids in day care while I searched for a new job. My income was ~65% of our family income, and not working was not an option.

I don't feel guilty about being a working Mom - there are things I miss, but there are also opportunities they have to learn and engage that I wouldn't be able to provide if I stayed home. Nor, would we be able to give them opportunities to do things like dance, t-ball, gymnastics, music lessons without the extra income. My mom was a SAHM, I didn't get to do any of those things growing up until I was 12. We never took vacations because my Dad was a work-aholic.

See if you can balance it - feel fulfilled personally and professionally. If not, make the best decision for you. There will be guilt and doubt, anxiety and lament. If you can be comfortable with the sacrifices one way or another, you're making the best decision for your family.

GOOD LUCK!

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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

In my opinion, IF you can afford to stay home, stay home.... careers come and go.. so what if you for example stay on the job and move up the ladder... you earn more money but at the same time, you miss out on what I consider the true RICHES of life.. your son's first words.. his first steps.. oh just every new day brings new things.. I worked long and stressful hours up until my son was about 6 1/2 years of age... I can't get back those younger days and WOW.. now that I have been home, boy was I ever missing out.. the breakfasts together, the getting him ready.. the sweet little discussions we have in the mornings. Also, I am so much less tired and stress by day's end which leads M. to believe I am a much better parent. or as I like to say a more "APPARENT parent".. :) of course, that isn't to say you wouldn't miss things about work.. you will.. but believe , once you get over the "I miss people at work scenario" or the I should be at this or that level at work... but here I am at home.. :( you'll then begin to realize that hey..... I LOVE SPENDING all this time with my son..... life goes quickly.... embrace every moment while you can.... and hey, if at some point, you need to work outside the home, then by all means do it...
write a list of the pros/cons of going back to work and or staying home... see how it feels in writing...
and also keep in mind.. you are future tripping.. example. you say you are losing out on experience while your friends pass you in your career..? what's to say your company doesn't fold in a year and you get laid off anyway. what's to say your friends don't have more babies and stay home... so you see.. there are NO future guarantees .... therefore, you shouldn't future trip. stay with the HERE and now.... it 's a lot less stressful on one's mind..

best of luck

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L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

The answer depends on you.
Being home is one of the most rewarding jobs ever. But - it's hard! So is going back to work - you'll have to juggle time with your family and work.
Is being home what you really want to do?
It's not the best thing for some people. It was the best thing for M. and my family.
I've found that the older the kids get, the more they need you -- it seems counter-intuitive, but that's the way it is. Mine are in high school, but they need M. more than ever (and my oldest drives!!).
I wouldn't change a minute of my being home (well, a few minutes maybe). I saw all of my children's firsts. They did have to do without some material items because I couldn't afford it. I always gave them a choice - you can have that, but Mom will have to go back to work. Their answer was always a huge No! They appreciate my being home.
There are some people who don't like being home. They feel stifled and trapped. If you are that sort of personality, then you'd be a much better parent if you go back to work.
Only you can make this decision.
LBC

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J.B.

answers from Dallas on

I think it is in your court to decide. For our first, I thought I would never want to stay at home. I worked 10 hour days up until he was born and loved my boss and my work. But after he was born I changed and decided to stay home. I even delivered papers so I could stay at home. I went back after 2 years and with out next 2 did not have the option to stay at home. I am now at home working from home after my company went bankrupt. My kids are in school, but I'm glad I'm at home again.

Sorry to drag on. What I wanted to say is the decision is your's. Whatever you decide, don't go back years down the road and second guess. Good luck on your decision.

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M.N.

answers from Chicago on

That is a very personal decision, and one that you do need to think long and hard about. We made the decision about 2 years ago that my husband would stay home with our children- financially it made sense, daycare costs a lot and we decided to make many sacrifices to make it work. It is not easy, but I have to remind myself if we were paying for daycare it would not be any easier. We both feel very blessed to have him home, and it enables M. to achieve more in my career. HOWEVER, when he attempts to re-enter the job market in X years, I do worry about his skill set being "behind", will someone really want to hire a 35+ year old man for a position when they have young, up-and-comer's to train and develop? This isn't even about keeping up with your peers, it is about being able to be re-employed. Many women have done this before and returned to the work force so maybe I am just worrying about "nothing". However, I do appreciate where you are at and what you are struggling with because we struggle with that too- and in the end you and your SO need to decide what your priorities are. For us, it was easy at the time- and I have to have faith that when we need something, it will work out. Good luck!

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B.K.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi
The really positive thing here is that you have a choice.As you know alot of women don't.
So you need to decide what is best for you and baby.
What type of mother are you? Some mothers thrive outside the home and need the fulfillment of work.
Others thrive being home fulltime with their children.
It sounds as you said that you are already sad at the thought of going back.
Your career can wait if thats what you want.You can always do some distant learning courses while at home to keep abreast in your chosen career.
As I said the main thing here is that you have a choice.
Best of luck
B.

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K.E.

answers from Buffalo on

Unfortunately this is something only you can decide.
My decision was to return to work ASAP.
1. Affording it- We could but boy would it hurt and the kids would not experience as much (sports, clubs/lessons, cub scouts, etc)
2. Going back after they are all in school (11 years out of work for M.) I would have a VERY difficult time getting a job. You are looked at as if you have NO experience even though you do.
3 It would be a very difficult adjustment for the kids and M.

If I only took a year the baby would have a REALLY hard time adjusting to the schedule change.

I went back to work at 6 weeks with each of my 3 yes it is depressing and I still cry because I miss them and my youngest is 15 months, but I did not sign up for what is easy for M., I signed up for the best for my kids and yes M. is best but no money for social and mental growth is just as important. My friend's hubby makes as much as mine and she is a SAHM but her kids do nothing but be with her. They have no extra experiences to speak of, we go on vacations, museums, parks, beaches for shells and fossils, shows, travel. that is so educational.

We have a great babysitter that comes to the house, and I work the exact hours they would be in school so once they start school I am gone 1 hour before they leave for school and 5 mins after they get home. I have sonority and experience at work that places M. above others.

so for us Working full time is the right choice, but all in all it is what works for you and your family. You have to weigh all your pros and cons weighing those against your priorities and see what you want for your kids.

It is the HARDEST choice to make and I wish you all the luck in the world.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXO

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

A wise woman once told M. "just because you grieve does not mean it is a wrong decision". Going back to work with a young baby is sad, but that doesn't mean that going back to work is the wrong decision. The opportunity to work PT for a while is a wonderful option. I would recommend doing that and giving yourself some time to adjust back into the work world before deciding.

I have worked for almost three years now as a career consultant for an Outplacement Company, giving classroom sessions and one-on-one coaching to people who have been laid-off by their companies. I know people who had been professionally employed for 10-20+ years who are unable to find work. Some have been unemployed for over two years despite constant job searching. Some of them have lost their homes and some at 30-40+ years-old are moving in with relatives.

I would strongly suggest you go back to work to stay viable in the work force. You may not "have to" financially now, but no job is secure any more. Your husband could lose his job at any time, then what? Your marriage could end at any time, then what?

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L.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

As a mom who now has a son who's a senior in high school and a daughter who graduated two years ago, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that your career should not stand in the way of the opportunity to raise your child.
Stay home. Stay home with your son and enjoy these short years. There is no joy in work that surpasses that of being there when your child takes his first step, or any of the other million "firsts" he's going to have.
Work can be caught up on - you can learn and catch up - but I promise you there is no way ever that you can have this chance again.
Time keeps going forward, and as my heart aches at the thought of seeing my boy leave to college, but I know that I took every minute I could with him.
He's not into drugs or bad kids, I was there for him, have cheered at almost every one of his baseball games, and I have a storehouse of memories that I will cherish forever.
We have a strong bond, and he's a great kid. I wouldn't give back a second of that time.
Staying home, if you have the opportunity to do so, is a huge gift of joy and privilege. Don't give it up for anything!

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A.F.

answers from Columbus on

If you can afford it financially to stay home, do it. I became a stay at home mom this year after having my third child and love it. I actually get sad sometimes when I see my son who's almost 10 months do something for the first time b/c I think about not seeing that with my other two kids. I missed out on a lot to have a career.

I know it's a really hard decision. I was at my firm for 10 years and had a great position. I cried over making the decision. I made great friends there over the years, I worked hard to get to where I was at my job, I could go on. My husband and I talked about it over and over again. I finally decided to resign and have not regretted it a day since.

Just remember there will always be work, it may take time to get back to where you were but you can never get back the years you'll miss out on with your kids. Good luck!

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D.G.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with the previous posts, its your decision, only you know what will work best for your family. My decision, after having raised two adult children, ( I worked off & on full-time while they were growing up), and now raising a toddler, I decided to be home with her. I really loved my job & my boss was one of a kind, but when I went back to work after she was 1 1/2 mos. old, I felt empty & un-fulfilled. I missed her tremendously, and spent the majority of my work day worried about her, if she was fed right, taken care of correctly. I had my daughter in a day care down the street from my job (which came highly recommended), and I couldn't bare being away from her. So... the decision became quite easy for M.. 3 years later & I can't tell you how quickly this time has passed! Go with your heart & do whats best. If you can work part-time & be with your child, I say go for it! I also recommend taking some courses when your home, or thinking of a new career when you re-enter the workforce. Good luck to you!!

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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D.S.

answers from New York on

Is it possible to work part-time? I was a stay at home mom for 15 years, and when my kids went to high school I went back to school. At almost 51, I own and operate a successful Montessori School. It is never too late for your career, but you can never get back the years of watching your children grow. I do not regret one minute of it. This is a very personal decision, but for M. it worked. I would go back part time and then make my decision. If you miss your child terribly and can afford to be home then I think the decision will be made for you. Good luck!!!

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L.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

You mention going back part time and then full time. Test the waters while you have the opportunity to work part time, if your little one is thriving at daycare while you are working, and everything seesm to go well, then take the full time spot back, if there are problems, then make your decision at that time.
Not many people have these options, take advantage! Good luck

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

If you can afford to stay home then I think this should be a no brainer for you. It simply comes down to what is more important to you advancing your career or staying home and raising your child. How will you advance once your baby is in daycare and exposed to all types of illnesses and gets sick constantly at first and you have to take extra time off because you can't send a sick baby to daycare will you still advance the same way probably not...is it worth going back...probably not. So you miss out on some work related experiences while you stay home but think of all the things you will miss if you return to work.

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Such a personal decision...
My personal experience: I had always planned to continue working after having my son. We put him in daycare at 7 months and he loved it. But at 16 months he started having a lot of trouble in daycare. We met with the teachers a ton but nothing improved for him so at 23 months, I made the decision to stay home with him. I made that decision because it was best for my child at that time. I think you should try going back to work (expect an adjustment period for both of you). But remain flexible and if things need to change for either of you, then do it. Life has lots of options if you leave yourself open to it.

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K.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

What do you want to do? How do you feel about both options?

I went back part-time and it has been wonderful. I love my job and could never be a stay-at-home-mom, but it's great to have the afternoons for family and home. I feel less rushed; going back to full time would be hard for M..

Would you be happy at home for a year? Would staying home be difficult/stressful financially? Do you like your job, and would you be happy there?

Keep in mind that not working means you will have less Social Security, and it might be that you will really need that someday. You could also fall so far behind in your career that you never catch up.

I stayed home with our first baby for 5 months, then my husband took a leave of absence and stayed with him for 3 months, and then it was summer (I'm a teacher) and I was home with him another 3 months. He was almost one when he started daycare (at a wonderful, wonderful Montessori center) and we all did just fine. He adjusted quickly and loved being around the other kids.

Could your husband take a leave to extend the time your baby has at home?

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L.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

As a hiring manager, I can tell you that it is very difficult for someone out of the workforce for several years (10+) to find a job just picking up where they left off. (Needs change, technology changes, etc.)

I believe the decision needs to be made as to whether you will stay home permanently or not.

It sounds like you are concerned about career advancement. If so, go back to work full time. Even part timers can get passed up for advancement opportunities unless they are willing to go back to full time. This may not always be the case, but I've seen it often enough.

If you don't care about advancement, don't need the second income, then go for it and stay home. But make sure you have an outlet so your self worth doesn't diminish. Yes, you will always be top mom and wife, but do something to grow as an individual as well like taking classes, volunteering, etc. You will need your "M. time" and adult conversation with others besides your spouse so you don't go stir crazy!

Another idea is to work from home. If your company doesn't offer this, look into home businesses you could start. There are many great direct sales companies you could join, or become a virtual assistant, for example. This way you get the best of both worlds.

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

Well, it will depend on your financial situation. How much will daycare cost and your clothing for the job and lunches? Will the part time position fulfill your need for adult stimulation? Are you the type that enjoys working and thrives upon it? These are questions that you have to answer. Also in this day and age with so many people searching for work, if you have a job or an opportunity it might be best to hang on to it.

Only you can answer what is truly needed. Think long and hard and go over the numbers with hubby.

Good luck to you. The other S.

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C.U.

answers from Omaha on

So many moms out there bash working moms and I think it is so wrong. I am a working mom and frankly I don't think my son would have it any other way. He LOVES day care and he has learned so much from going. He is such a good child around other kids I don't think he would be that way if he stayed home with M.. He learns more at daycare then I feel I could have taught him at home. He loves going to see all his friends every day, I mean who wouldn't enjoy spending the day with friends playing, singing, coloring, reading, learning, and enjoying being a kid. I am not saying being a stay at home mom is bad and those kids are not just as adjusted as mine but I don't feel I could do all of this that is just M.. This was just the best option for our family and we found a more then awesome daycare. People say you miss out on all the firsts and that is a load of BS I got to experience all the wonderful things that my son did. We share a lot of time together and we really enjoy our nights together. Would I love to spend all day with my son of course but that is not an option and I am fine with it and I get so tired of reading/hearing people put down working moms. We are a happy family and I love our life. So make the decision that you feel is right for your family and don't worry what anyone thinks as long as you know you made the best choice for your family. There is always someone out there that thinks their way is the best and only way to do things. So enjoy your baby and enjoy watching him grow because they change so fast.

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S.P.

answers from New York on

I agree with the people who said if you can do part time. I work full time, but had 2 days at home, flexible hours and a short commute. It has been hard, and I do miss being with her as much as I want, but I'm better off and she's better off. If I could do part time, I would. If I had to work long hours and have a long commute, I wouldn't have gone back at all, no matter what the financial hit.

Being a stay at home mom does not automatically mean better parenting or better experiences for the kid. I've known enough stay at home moms to know it can mean stressed parents, lots of snapping at the kids, neglectful parenting, kids who spend their day watching TV while mom does her thing, or the housework...

I don't get as much time as I'd like with my girl, and being a working mom means a lot of juggling. But I'm able to be far more patient with her because I'm not with her 24x7, and I spend the time I do have really BEING with her. And she's had really wonderful childcare, which has stretched and grown her more than being alone with M. would have done.

In the end, it is really your call. If I could have taken a full year off or worked part time I would have been much happier, but as I look back I think going back to work (at this job, at this time) was probably the right choice for M..

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S.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

If I were you, I'd stay at home and enjoy your son and being a M.. I made the decision to be a SAHM nearly 8 years ago while pregnant w/ my first daughter and I don't regret it one bit. Being able to be there for them whenever they need M., getting to experience all of their firsts, do ECFE and other fun weekday events w/ other SAHM's, etc...so rewarding! Now that my oldest is in 2nd. grade I feel even luckier to be home because I am able to volunteer at her school and be there when the school nurse calls if she is sick and can come for her right away, go along on field trips,etc.
As others have said, career can wait...our little ones are only little for such a short time...you won't regret being home w/ them. Good luck with your decision!

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D.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would definitely stay a home. You'll never get this time back with your son.

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F.D.

answers from Milwaukee on

I've worked part time, full time and been a stay at home mom and have seen the pros and cons of all. But, I will say this ~ if your intent is to return to the workforce full time, you might be making it harder on your family by taking time off. Most of my kids have been home with M., and now that I am trying to return to work....they are having an absolute fit. They're so used to the comforts of home that they do not want to go to a sitter. Also, my husband has become so dependent on M. doing everything (dishes, laundry, groceries, cutting grass, shoveling, meals, etc) that he has taken on more at work and is almost unable to contribute more around the house. I think if I had worked FT consistently that he would be a little more sensitive to helping around the house. It's all very overwhelming ~ the kids complaining, the exhaustion, the lack of balance....that I'm considering just going back to working one day a week. Good luck on your decision.

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V.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

You already decided to have the baby, and now that he is here, you should do what your heart tells you to do. If you stay home, you need to find other stay at home moms and get as much support as possible! If you don't, your days can be long and lonely. If you do, your memories of the time spent with your son will be priceless. The days can seem like an eternity at times, but all of a sudden, it's ten years later and your watching home movies remembering what a sweet and simple time it was back then.
If you have an ECFE program (Early Childhood and Family Education), join the morning class. That's where I met other moms, and it saved M.! I'm still friends with some of them 15 years later and our kids are in Highschool now.
You only have your kids to yourself for a very short time. When they start school, they have friends, sports, music, homework, and all kinds of things.

Good luck in whatever you decide. The fact that you are struggling with this shows your a caring mom. Being mom can be an emotional rollercoaster for sure.

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A.H.

answers from Omaha on

This is how I made my decision- there will always be a job/career, dream house, car, trips, or whatever may be the trade off, but you will never get these years back. I taught elementary school for 13 years and went out of my way to achieve National Board Certification- which is only good for 10 years, so by the time I go back to teaching it will almost be expired! However, I love being home with my kids. I feel like they are happy, secure, smart kids because I am able to be home with them during this time. Not to say that happy children cannot be nurtured thru a caring daycare environment. It is an intensely personal decision-one that I do not regret for a second. Pray on it-God will lead you to the decision that is right for you. Good luck!

A.

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M.J.

answers from Dubuque on

Stay home if you have the option. If I could I would. I am miserable every day because I go to work and leave my little girl. She is almost 2 and it has not gotten any easier for M.. If you like staying home then by all means stay home. Work can wait.

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E.C.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I have had breaks in my career from having a family and moving and in my experience people are mostly understanding. I briefly explain my breaks in my cover letter.

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M.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

Stay home if you can, as Laura A. wrote, you will never have these years or this opportunity again. I am staying home although it is very difficult financially because my husband makes 37K - but it is important to us that our daughter is raised by one of her parents at home, so we make it work. Even with very limited funds, my daughter and I make daily use of the library, zoo, playgroups, parks and free or lower cost outings. We have a blast and she would not have these experiences if she was in a daycare with limited field trips. She and I have an awesome bond that I wouldn't trade for anything and I was able to breastfeed her for much longer than I would have been able to had I been working full-time.

I have my MA and had a cushy job before I had my daughter. Our income was reduced by 2/3 when I left the workforce. And honestly, it's worth it. I volunteer in a position that relates to my field and do occasional freelance projects so my resume won't be "empty" should I ever return to the workforce. I'm really not worried though. The way I see it, my children are much more important to M. than my career.

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A.P.

answers from Eugene on

I work full time, but I have a very flexible job so I work about 20-25 hours at "the office" and the rest at home. I teach so I can grade at the park, write a paper after my son's in bed or napping. Personally, I wouldn't give up my job for anything--I love it--and I don't agree that what I'm doing at work isn't as important as raising my son. I think they are both important--to M., to my students, and to my son. The truth is teaching fulfills M. in a way that being a mom can't. With that said when I worked part-time it felt like the perfect balance (for M.). That doesn't mean that I don't ADORE my son and that sometimes leaving him at preschool isn't really hard, but that for M. to have a full life it means working outside the home. I have the kind of job that if I take time off I'm essentially done and some of my friends have made this decision because it was the right one for them. But, I love my slightly chaotic crazy life, I love my students, I love my job, and I love coming home to my son! I have to add--I have the best partner in the world--he is in every sense a partner--and I can't imagine leading the life I do if he didn't pick up his share of the labor around our house. I simply couldn't manage a demanding career, being a mom, cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands...so that's something to consider as well. Whatever you decide, give yourself time to make peace with the decision and trust that it's the right one for you and your family. Only you know what's in your heart.

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S.S.

answers from Omaha on

wow! you've had forty answers already. My opinion is this- if you are going to take off work- or go part time- do it when he's in school- I really REALLY wish I had time for my son now that he's in school and I can't drop him right at school or pick him up as soon as it's over- he's been shuffeled from daycare to school and back- and I never imagined that it would have such an effect on him- he's the oldest one in daycare now- and I don't have enough vacation time to take off every day they are out of school- it's becoming a real problem- and we have been with the same daycare for 6 years- as a small child it was great- but not so much now- and we have no options at this point. Good luck with your decision- it is never easy- but always best to put GOD first, then family then work

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S.H.

answers from Lincoln on

I think this is a personal decision and one that you should make peace with once you have decided on the route.
On one hand, you could return to work, on the other you could stay home with your child. Either way, I know you will be happy and your baby will be happy.

Really the choice is up to you. You can always try one or the other on a temporary basis. I mean you can return part time and see if you like it or you could extend your time at home and give yourself more time to think about it.

I'll let you in on a secret - technically I could stay home from a financial viewpoint, the problem is I like the concept of making my own money. Plus I decided to retire early so I can enjoy life, so working right now is not so bad given the future reward.

Just remember to be happy about the choice you make.

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A.E.

answers from Minneapolis on

What's more important to you....being home with your son and seeing everything he does the second he does it or keeping up with your career. Neither one is a bad thing. There are quality daycares out there where your child can go socialize and have fun. He'll love it. Personally I chose to stay at home. I can never get those moments back. Some days I wonder why I chose this (I could be earning enough money to buy our house in the country with acreage and some days when he is just a crabby fuss pants I think oh some else could be dealing with this right now) but at the end of the day I know I made the right decision to stay home and be there for him. My career can always come again later and if that falls through I'll do something else. I'll go back to college if I have to. My children are my life. For some people their career is important because that's 50 years of their life vs 18. Look into your heart

M.S.

answers from Lincoln on

I am super jealous ; ) I haven't read the other responses, but if you have a chance to stay home I would do it. I would give anything to have that options. They are only that little for so long.

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M.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I feel your pain. I entered a new career just as I got pregnant. I, too, have seen people I went to school with moving on as I plod along at 20 hours a week. I am in a field where additional study, usually 4-7 day courses in other states, is important for career growth, and I just passed up an opportunity to do one because my daughter is having separation anxiety issues. Is it frustrating to have to wait to advance my career? Absolutely. Is it worth it to M.? Absolutely. My daughter will never be 2 and a half again. The career will still be there.

Like others said, I agree that only you can make this decision, weighing finances, your need for adult stimulation, etc., etc. I am simply sharing my own experience and thought process, based on my needs and value system, which may differ from yours. But re-read the last sentence of your post. You might find your answer there....

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I agree with Theresa N. -- well said!

I had all intentions of returning to work FT after my maternity/FMLA leave and putting my baby in daycare. REALLY changed my mind when it was time for the rubber to hit the road.

PT is good for M. and my parents watched my baby for us.

Sit and crunch the numbers. See if you can do it.

Personally, my son is now in 2nd grade and I still work 2 days/week and it works great for M..

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K.H.

answers from Richmond on

GO BACK TO WORK PART TIME MY CHILD
i went back to work two weeks after we gave birth in our bathroom, and may be hectic but its worth it. i dont have to pay a baby sitter and i get time with my little girl
K. h.

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T.C.

answers from Des Moines on

stay at home - you won't regret it.

K.C.

answers from Barnstable on

We leave only one legacy in our lives: our children.

Money, careers, big cars, nice houses are fleeting, but a child goes on to live beyond you, make their own lives and act as adults in society. The best person to raise this child - this legacy - is a devoted parent.

If you have a chance to be home with your children, GO FOR IT! !!!!!

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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

really your the only person that can decide whats best for you an your family-im sure you could use the extra cash-why your friends are so important in this im not real sure-everyone excels at their own level...go back pt-if it doesnt feel right-quit...wish i had those options when i had my kids-even married i had to work 3 jobs...good luck

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