T.S. asks from Nashville, TN on September 03, 2010
Stay at Home Moms... - Nashville,TN
For those stay at home moms on a limited income, how do you do it? My husband and I both work full time. He is a truck driver and is only home a few days every 3-5 weeks. With him gone so much, I am basically a single mom and with working full time, I feel like my kids are just not getting the attention they need and deserve. I very much would like to be a stay at home mom - one that can be involved with the kids school, do fun activites with them throughout the week (not just on weekends), have the time to cook healthy meals for them and keep my home in a more constant clean state.
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To add, we are already on a very tight budget. I was laid off last year (after 8 1/2 years) only a few short months after relocating our family to TN. I was out of work for 6 months and when I finally got a job offer, it was with a salary cut. My husband also had issues finding a job that would pay a decent wage when we moved. February of this year is when he went to trucking school and went out on the road, so he is a new driver, not making nearly as much as experienced drivers and his weekly paycheck can vary drastically. We have no family here - my in-laws were supposed to move within the year, but the recession has put that on hold for them with not being able to sell the house and find a job. My husband always worked nights, so our daughter was always with daddy during the day till she started pre-k last year and even then, he picked her up everyday right after school. Our son didn't start daycare until my husband left for school in Feb. So this has been a big adjustment for them going from being home with daddy all day to not only being in school/daycare all day, but also having him gone for weeks at a time.
My daughter is in Kidergarten and we pay for after-school care for her. My son is only 2, so he is in daycare. We already cut all expenses. No cable, one car, no eating out, clipping coupons, no family excursions that cost money (we do a lot of free stuff at our local parks). I never buy cloths for myself; only for the kids and that's only when absolutely necessary and I never pay full price. I have a knack for searching clearance racks and finding great deals at the end of a season - I have cloths in every size for my son up to 6 years old - not everything he needs, but enough to start. I also get hand-me-downs from my friend who has 2 boys. I honestly don't spend money on anything except the necessities, nothing extra!
I've looked into working at home, but seems everything I find is either a scam or pyramid schemes. Right now I do data management and quality assurance for a research program at a local hospital. But I have years of experience as a high level AA and also doing gala and meeting logistics. I'm computer savvy and was kind of a jack of all trades at my last job.
I know not having the time with me (or daddy) is affecting my daughter. She's a smart girl and believe me, has no problems telling me when she's not getting enough time with me. I know it affects my son as well, though I don't think it is as bad since he is younger and didn't have as much time to himself with us.
So What Happened?™
Thank you everyone for your input. Right now there is no way we could survive on just my husband's income, but possibly in six months or so when he has a year of driving experience and can be earning more. Believe me, as much as I want to do this, I know it's not something that is going to happen right away.
I am going to look into some of the work at home info that you all have provided and see if any would be a good fit for me. For those who have posted Dave Ramsey stuff, we are already following his teachings and striving to live debt free (car payment and 2 small loans left!). We are also hoping to have a close friend and her kids move here to TN and they would be living with us for probably a year to get settled which will help cut our expenses since we will be splitting rent and utilities, but she has to wait till her lease is up and she can transfer her job.
So for right now, I think six months is a reasonable goal for me to potentially be able to become a stay at home mom! Until then, I will continue to do my best in spending every moment I can with my children and letting them know that even though mommy and daddy both have to work, that we love them and do it to provide for them. Thanks again for all the input!
Featured Answers
T.M. answers from Philadelphia on September 03, 2010
We have a family of 6 on my husbands tiny salary. It was very important for me to be a SAHM. Yes, there are sacrafices. BUT, it is 100% worth it. I am the mommy that is homeroom parent, cooks all the meals, has the brownies ready when they get home, volunteers in the classroom etc. This fulfills me more than a career. There are days it is overwhelming, but i would not change a thing.
I spend at least 2 hrs in the grocery store. I use coupons and compare prices. I try to save 100.00 a trip. We only go out to dinner 1 or 2 times a year. My kids qualify for reduced lunch at the school and their baseball teams waive the fee. That helps us so much! We use all of the hand me downs we can get.
Please email me if you would like and i can think of more tips.
2 moms found this helpful
J.V. answers from Chicago on September 03, 2010
No TV, rarely eat out, no vacations where you go somewhere and stay in a hotel.
I also use cloth diaper and breastfeed.
1 mom found this helpful
P.W. answers from San Francisco on September 03, 2010
It really depends on the salary of the primary breadwinner. There's only so much a family can cut, no matter how careful you are. If neither parent can earn enough to support the whole family, then both have to work.
Different States have different costs of living, so there's no one income level that can be considered the definitive amount to support a family. It depends on where you live.
If you have a lifestyle such as Tracy, below, and still are unable to make it on one salary, then the sad truth is that you may have to continue to work. This recession has not helped the issue.
Good luck.
1 mom found this helpful
More Answers
T.M. answers from Philadelphia on September 03, 2010
We have a family of 6 on my husbands tiny salary. It was very important for me to be a SAHM. Yes, there are sacrafices. BUT, it is 100% worth it. I am the mommy that is homeroom parent, cooks all the meals, has the brownies ready when they get home, volunteers in the classroom etc. This fulfills me more than a career. There are days it is overwhelming, but i would not change a thing.
I spend at least 2 hrs in the grocery store. I use coupons and compare prices. I try to save 100.00 a trip. We only go out to dinner 1 or 2 times a year. My kids qualify for reduced lunch at the school and their baseball teams waive the fee. That helps us so much! We use all of the hand me downs we can get.
Please email me if you would like and i can think of more tips.
2 moms found this helpful
P.W. answers from San Francisco on September 03, 2010
It really depends on the salary of the primary breadwinner. There's only so much a family can cut, no matter how careful you are. If neither parent can earn enough to support the whole family, then both have to work.
Different States have different costs of living, so there's no one income level that can be considered the definitive amount to support a family. It depends on where you live.
If you have a lifestyle such as Tracy, below, and still are unable to make it on one salary, then the sad truth is that you may have to continue to work. This recession has not helped the issue.
Good luck.
1 mom found this helpful
J.V. answers from Chicago on September 03, 2010
No TV, rarely eat out, no vacations where you go somewhere and stay in a hotel.
I also use cloth diaper and breastfeed.
1 mom found this helpful
L.C. answers from Kansas City on September 03, 2010
i totally know how you feel. I am a work at home mom though. But trust me on this one, there is anything BUT a house of more constant clean! lol. my house is always a disaster.
how strapped are you on your budget? is being a stay at home mom even an option for you? would working from home be an option? it would be a big pay cut, but you could bring in a little extra?
1 mom found this helpful
N.S. answers from Detroit on September 03, 2010
I didn't really plan on being a stay at home mom, but we were lucky to have insightful people in our lives. When we bought our first home, our mortgage person suggested we make it affordable on only my husbands income, just incase I decided to stay home. I also worked a home based business on the side of my full time job prior to having kids. Now I get reorders to give myself some spending cash (aka money to buy gifts for husband so he's not buying them himself). :)
We also run our cars into the ground before buying a new one. I get all hand-me-downs for our kids. I nearly never buy new clothes for them, they usually receive some as gifts so it gives their wardrobe a lift. Their gifts are usually garage sale/mom to mom sale/hand-me-down items.
They are still young, and things may change as they get older. My oldest is starting preschool and I did buy new clothes last season for fall ($1 per item) at an outlet store.
We actually aren't on too limited of a budget, but this is the way we live incase unexpected expenses come up. We also like to vacation and this is how we save for it.
Oh, and I agree with the other mom on the clean house. Having kids home all day just lets them mess it up...ALL DAY :)
Healthy meals...you could plan ahead. Have you tried crockpot meals? Casseroles. Or make double batches and freeze one for another day when you won't have time to cook. Soups, spaghetti sauce are really easy to do this with. My kids haven't been too big on soup or casseroles, but I just make sure I can pick out big chunks of veggies and meat from the casserole. Not a short order cook.
Best wishes
1 mom found this helpful
L.M. answers from Nashville on September 03, 2010
it's tough and requires sacrafice, but even all the sacrafices in the world won't enable you to be a SAHM if it's not really an option financially. My husband travels too and is gone ALL..ok, most of the time and since he sometimes flew to his destinations we became a one car family. When he was home we had to schedule and organize ourselves better but it worked. I never would have thought in a million years one car would have served our family but it did and we were determined to give it a try. What about part time work for you? Working while the kids are in school? If they are school age, check into working at their school or any school part time. I'm not sure what your skills are, but small churches need a secretary, but only part time. Some Parent's Day Out programs can work you part time...just a few hours every day, or 2-3 days a week. Just some ideas.
good luck
1 mom found this helpful
S.B. answers from Topeka on September 03, 2010
We live on a tight budget. Very tight.
One thing we do for meals is we name our meals with the days of the week. Like Monday is Manwich... Tuesday Taco's... etc... it is really easy to stick to and very low cost meal plan.
Another thing is I clip coupons. I have never been one to clip coupons but when I found out how much money I can save on things we need, I clip away.
Also rely on outside light to brighten your home. Have the blinds open during the day. And when it is nice outside, open up your house instead of running the air.
If you live close to the store, walk. Use your vehicle only when you need it.
Those are just a few ways. There is a nice website that I like called www. hillbillyhousewife. com . It has some helpful information on how to be thrifty.
1 mom found this helpful
P.W. answers from Dallas on September 03, 2010
Now I work from home, but when I had young kids like you I had a similar dilemma. I obviously don't know what your financial situation is, but this is what worked for us.
1-We moved. I mean really moved......out of state, closer to family, and in an area where housing was much less than where we were living... and I quit my job. With family in town I could take on an occasional temp job to help out........free babysitting with my mom.
2-We bought a smaller house and lowered our house payments.
3-We cut corners everywhere we possibly could. We spent lots of time at the park and with friends for entertainment. Rarely did we go out and spend. I even made rustic curtains for my kitchen that lasted quite awhile!
Now for us, although it took awhile, things got better and my husband made more money. Then things got tough again and I started working from home, but by then my youngest child was in high school, so I was able to do all that you mention in your post throughout their younger years.
There are lots of legite at home jobs you could consider. Even babysitting! Just to add a little extra, even occasionally......for holidays, etc....
I love to know what you do for a living now, and how it could help you working from home?
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