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Stay at Home Mom Depression

I am not the type to go to the dr for any little thing but I am going soon for my yearly woman exam. I want to talk to the dr about an antidepression meds, bc i feel like I am mildlydepressed. I call it stay at home mom depression. I love being home with my daughter but I have noticed the past few months that I am very moody, I am tired alot but I can sleep at night, I have no motivation to do the simplist daily things, and I am getting very uncomfortable leaving the house. Anyway I don't know what to say to the dr and I feel weird bc i have never seen this dr before. I don't have a dr anymore that knows me, i fired him. Any advise?

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Thanks for all of your great advise. I have been trying to keep busy and we have been getting out more. It is hard especially when we onl have one car. I haven't decided if I will talk to my dr or not. I have been hearing some scary things about anti depressents so I am not sure yet. Again thanks for everything!

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I know how you feel. I have been a stay at home mom since 2000 and I would get very moody, and didn't want to go anywhere. I now do Mary Kay just when I want to and service the customers I have established. But I moved to Texas in April and have no family here and what has helped the most is I have found a new friend, has a child same age as my 3rd child and we workout together at my house and we help each other paint rooms we want to get painted or whatever else we have going on. I am considering doing my MK part-time again to give me an outlet one night a week. I hope this helps. My girls are 3,5, & 7. I even tried wellbutrin but it made me shakey.

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Hi C.. I'm sorry you're going through this - have you tried meetup.com? It's a Mommy site where you can meet Mommy's at playdates and other get togethers - it may help you to be around others weekly.

D.

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I think you did a wonderful job explaining yourself. Just be honest with you doctor.

And I don't think it's an issue of being a stay at home mom verses a working mom. I think it's what you choose to do with your time, Are you motivated? What are your goals for the day? I can suggest a great website that can help you to schedule your day www.flylady.net

Alex wrote that at least as a working mom I get to get away from my children for eight hours. I find that highly offensive, it is not by choice to get away from my children. Basically it boils down to being a mom/wife is a hard job, we take different directions and some are able to stay home and some mom's work outside the home. So I guess me working is my "me" time.
I think what it would be like to be a stay home mom and I know that I would have to plan things other wise for me it would become so easy to stay in my pajamas all day (then what would I do on the weekends). Maybe a mom group would help you, to talk to other people in the same situation.

C. I wish you the best and good luck at your doctors appointment.

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Hi!

I have to say that I know what Alex means. On one hand, I'm thinking "well when you work outside the home, you get a lunch hour, when you need a change of pace you can go to the snack machine or go talk to a co-worker, etc. As a stay at home mom, sometimes even checking e-mail is only possible during naptime, which is not even guaranteed every day. Then I realize, that as a stay at home mom I am able to take a nap when he's sleeping, or have lunch with my working friends, and go to the mall when everything's been re-stocked from the weekend rush!

It comes down to there being good points for each scenerio. Being an at-home mom is REALLY hard some days. It's not about lounging in your PJs and watching TV! It's about entertaining a little one all day long! :o) The days that I'm not feeling well - or it's too cold - and need to stay in are the hardest becase the kids want to get out and about. And at the end of the day, when you're counting down until 5:30 when hubby gets home so you can go to the bathroom BY YOURSELF (a luxury) and he says "I need some time to unwind from the day" it's a little frustrating.

Just know that most at-home moms are in the same boat as you are. Find some stuff around your area to do during the week... it's really nice to be able to look forward to an outing. Check the parks and recretaion center for your city (look it up online) and see what their baby programs are. Your local library has story/song time for different age groups. By doing these things (free, or extremely low cost - like $5 a month) I have something to do Monday, Wednesday and Fridays.

What area of town do you live in? Hang in there, try to look for some activites to sign up for and see if that helps before you try medication. You might just need a little boost. :o)

T.

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Hi C.,

I am a SAHM to a 13 month old girl and I can relate to some of the things you are feeling. I left a high paying, high intensity career to stay at home with my daughter, so my life has changed dramatically in the last year. It has been very difficult at times for me to figure out just what my purpose is in life now since I have no project plan or goals or meetings to keep me "on track."

I have to agree with some of the other people that said getting out of the house at least a few times per week is key. I was always going somewhere when my daughter was very young (the mall, Target, a walk around the block, and especially the gym). Now that she is a little older and walking, it is sometimes harder to go shopping with her since she wants to be down running around. When the weather is nice (which hasn't been often lately unfortunately), we have started going to the park. She really likes to be outside. I would definitely recommend joining a gym, health club or the YMCA so that you can get some exercise and your little one can play with some other kids giving you a little bit of a break. I think that might help you to feel a little better.

One other thing that someone else mentioned is getting a babysitter or putting your child in daycare for a few hours once or twice per week. I TOTALLY recommend that too if you have the means to do it. When my daughter was 8 months old, I started putting her in a Mother's Day Out program at my church one day per week from 9-2:30. This gave me an opportunity to do some things for myself. I also spent an hour each week of that time volunteering so that I was giving some time back to others in my community as well. This helped with the idea of having a purpose other than feeding, diapering and playing with my little one (all of which are highly important as well, but sometimes just don't feel like it). I also attend a ladies' bible study at my church one morning per week for 2 hours. If you're a Christian or would just like to spend some time learning something new, this would be a great way to get involved with other women and make some new friends. I'm not sure where you live, but I would be happy to give you the info on our bible study.

I haven't had any problems with actual depression, so I can't speak to what that would be like. But, I will say that it isn't something you should be embarrassed about. There seems to be a stigma associated with it that is entirely inappropriate. So, if you need medication to stablilize yourself until you can get back on your feet, then by all means do it! You have a job to do in taking care of your baby and you can't do that if you aren't healthy. Explain your symptoms to your doctor (even if it's a new one) and let them determine the next steps. If you think you can try some of the things suggested in this forum and do without the medication until you've given some other things a chance, then great. But, if your doctor suggests trying it, then you should. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of your family! Also, if you can manage it, take some time to yourself. Go get your nails done one Saturday and let Dad watch the baby. You'll feel like a new woman!

Best of luck to you. I know this parenting thing is hard, but it's so worth it. Hang in there...you're doing a great job!

V.

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I think what you're going through is perfectly normal for a stay at home mom. I have my days as well. I LOVE spending time with my son, but having an 8 mo old as my best friend can be a little lonely. I have many girlfriends but not many have children and the few who do, are working Moms. My fiancee works ALOT so basically its just me and my little guy. There are days where I just have no motivation to do ANYTHING. For example,today: Its 3 in the afternoon and I'm still in my jammies from last night. :/ Although my excuse today is that I have horrible PMS cramps and my son is teething and being a little more difficult than usual. He is currently napping so I'm taking this "quiet" time to use my email and do laundry. I know once I put a little make up on,get the baby dressed, and step out, it will be a great mood lifter. Sometimes we go to Borders and check out the childrens books section. Sometimes we go to lunch and I'll take a magazine or book for myself and a toy and bottle for the baby. Sometimes I'll even go to the mall because working hrs are the best time to go as there are not many people there. And sometimes we'll even go to a matinee. There is never anyone at the movies during the day on a work/school week. :)
I also stongly recommend putting your baby in part time daycare or hiring a babysitter for a few hrs a day once a week. I take my little one to a small in home daycare once a week so that I have a day to myself to excercise,read,or just BE. He benefits from social interaction with other babies while I am indulging in much needed ME time.
Many people think I have it easy because I get to stay home all day with my baby. The only people who know how difficult it REALLY is, are other women like myself. Moms who work at least get those 8 hrs a day to do something other than caring for and waiting on an infant hand and foot 24 hrs a day. Sometimes they can be hard to please! And then hubby gets home and you'd think he'd take some of the pressure off but instead says,"im tired. I've been working all day." Sigh.
Still, I cherish the moments I spend with my baby as time is the one thing you cannot get back. And while he's napping,I'm going to end this email and get myself dressed so that when he wakes any minute, I can take us outside to enjoy whats left of the day. What also helps me get through this time is to remember that this is such a small fragment of time in the big picture. In 10 months, he'll start school and before I know it, he'll be a 6 yr old boy who'd rather go play with his friends instead of hanging out with boring 'ol Mom. This "baby" time is short...its also precious. Naturally, you are going to have down days due to the constant attention you have to give to your child as it can wear you out. But seeing him smile or noticing a flicker of undersatnding in his eyes because of something he learned from YOU makes it all worth it.

Good luck. :)

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I feel the same way very often too. I found for me, I have to write out a routine to help me, otherwise I will stay in bed, and not accomplish all of the many things I need to do. It has helped a lot.

If you start with the basics, like a routine, maybe eating healthy snacks throughout the day, put on some make-up and go out to run errands or window shop, take a walk with your daughter in the stroller, and maybe get a little excersize DVD (yoga booty ballet, yay!) for 15 minutes a day will help dramatically. If these don't help you either, go and speak to a Dr. Many are quick to prescribe meds without getting down to the source of the gloom. (And the source I have found with many women/moms is the lack of routine and purpose and a rut in their lifestyle).

Don't be embarassed to tell a Dr., they are used to hearing these things!!! Just tell him or her everything that you wrote us. Bring a list if you need to and read it to him. Depression can be a chemical imbalance where meds will help restore that balance. However, if after you take the meds, you don't change the routine up as well, it's still easy to fall in the same rut again.

I want to warn you do NOT take Effexor what ever you do!!! I have heard many horror stories and a very dear friend is weaning off of it, and it is making extremely ill, physically and mentally. This drug is known to do this, some people have to take it for the rest of their lives b/c it is so dangerous to wean off of. And if you miss a dose... it's just terrible. Many people are trying to have it taken off the market.

Zoloft or Prozak I hear are safer, do some research so you will know a little bit about it before you talk to your Dr.
Just know that you are supported and a lot of women feel these same things.

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I second what Mary said, get your thyroid checked and a test for mono. I was really depressed and tired a few years ago and found out I had mono. Learning that I did helped my mood alot and a round of drugs helped too.

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I understand I battle with depression all the time. You just need to explain to him everything your feeling just like you did in your post. More than likely he will give you something for it. I was on cymbalta til I got pregnant and then switched to prozac. My OB doctor didn't feel comfortable with me being on cymbalta while pregnant since it just came out. I liked the cymbalta. Once I was pregnant my depression went away so I didn't take the prozac. Cymbalta helped me to lose weight too. I lost 25 lbs in 2 months. Prozac worked good for my mom she was on it for years. Do you ever have any time to yourself with out your baby. I am a stay at home mom and I find that if I get a evening or two a week to myself it helps. Remember you need time for yourself too. Maybe someone can watch the baby for you while you and hubby go out or maybe hubby can watch her for you while you go with a friend shopping for an hour or two. I hope this helps.

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HI C.,
i'll be short and sweet, you've gotten a lot of good advice! Try not to go the medication route. its hard to get off of them later and they have side effects. involve yourself in your local MOMS club chapter, they are great. also you could start a home business. i've done both and they've both given me the adult interaction i needed after i decided to stay home 2 years ago!!
good luck!
J.

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don't be shy about asking the dr for medication, they see it alot.. when my last one was born, it was very difficult for me to go back to work and i was put on medication and it seemed like it took forever to work but when it finally did, things were better. just because you start taking it does not mean you have to take it forever so give it a try. I take prozac and it works great, sometimes when i know i am better, i will be off of it for months sometimes longer then i get back on it if i need it. you will feel much better. i know people have different opinions about depression medication but if you take it in small doses and it helps, who cares... each person is different so do what works for you and your OB or general doc will discuss your options with you. Make sure you listen to your body though because if they give you too much, you might feel "nothing" literally and that means you have too much and they can lower the dosage. Also, they tried me on a different one at first and it made me dizzy so listen to your body and make sure you communicate any symptoms or side effect to the doc right away.

Good Luck!!

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I completely understand. I was the same way when my daughter was a baby. I felt exactly the same as what you are describing. I think you should definitely talk to your doctor and get on some anti-depression meds. They helped me greatly. The advise that I have for you is to talk to your doctor about getting on something that is not habit-forming or that you have to wean off of. I took paxil, and although it did help me, when I felt like I was ready to come off of them it was extremely difficult. I had to take dramamine just to function because I always felt like I was going to throw up and I didn't want to get out of bed for a week. I have heard that wellbutrin is good and it is not difficult to come off of. I hope you feel better soon. If you ever need a friend or someone to talk to you, you can email me at ____@____.com
S.

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Hi C.,
We all get depressed sometime, it's human nature. I have been on both ends, working mom and stay at home mom. Both have pressures, and when you're working, you have so little time with the kiddos -you try to squeeze so much in such a short time, it just about kills you. Plus the guilt that goes with leaving your kids....But, focus on the big picture. I was involved with meetup groups, went to the mall in the play area, arts and crafts, even cleaning around the house which I involve the kids too. Make yourself get out of the house - I know it's easier to just stay in - but you'll end up secluding yourself from everything, and that's when you start to feel depressed. I met some great moms at meet up groups - www.meetup.com. I think in this society, we are all too quick to take a pill, expecially doctors prescribing them. It's a quick fix - it WON'T solve your problem. Being a stay at home mom is difficult,and sometimes you just feel like everyday is just the same - but so many moms wish they could stay home and can't for whatever reason. Get up, get dressed, put a little lipstick, make yourself pretty...for you. As your baby gets older, you'll be able to get around more.

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C.,
Looks like you have rec'd a lot of great advice - so I won't repeat what some women have already stated; but did want you to know, I somtimes am in the same rut as you. Its hard being a stay at home mom (at times, it can be very lonely) - I think one of the very best thing that I can do is to lean on a couple of close friends or hopefully through this medium, you will find a few friends you can talk too. Better to have one or two really close friends that understand you - than a host of dozens of friends that don't understand what you are going through. I am most introverted person out there - but hold a few girlfriends very close to my heart - -and when I am down, they are the 1st people I call and talk too. Having the opportunity to talk to other mom's in the same situation as you, is often just the right amount of medicine you need; but I too encourage you to talk to your ob/gyn and hopefully he/she will be better suited to make a diagnosis whether you need medication or not (don't feel a bit guilty for needing that bit of extra help). Hang in there - I just wanted to let you know you were being thought of -- and if you need someone to talk to or even email too - you can sound off to me anytime. I enjoy it just as much! :o)
K.

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I also went through this, but actually didn't know I was depressed until I started describing my symptoms to my ob/gyn. He then gave me a little test to take and suggested I try meds. He says that depression is often hereditary and chemical so some people need the meds to help. I stayed on the meds for 6 months (did a great job for me) and then the dr. worked with me to get off them (with the help of exercise). I think you would be surprised to know how many women are on meds. I was very open about my meds and soon found out that 80-90% of my friends had/are taking them too.

Just tell your new dr. what you told me here and I'm sure he will help you.

Good luck!!

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Hang in there and stay strong. I also went through a period like yours. I fumbled with understanding my emotions. I read alot, journaled and began more holistic approach. A few remedies help me motivate myself. First, walking alone...help me collect my thoughts and think about my feelings. Secondly, I drank ginger tea, I get mine at Sprouts Farmers market. I would drink it at night before I went to bed. Also, peppermint oil. You can place some on a tissue and inhale throughout the day. It is a stimulant to clear the mind as well as many other benefits. Drink lots of water, take deep breaths and make the choice to be happy. Stay strong. I am sure if you wrote down all you need to be thankful for it will place a smile on your face. Best of luck to you. Prayers Doreen

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Every stay at home mom I know of goes through this, so don't worry. Your doctor can help & I think if you just repeat the above they will understand and be able to help. I hate taking pills, so if you do as well you may try a few of these tips to help.

Make lists of what you need to do & put it in order of what must get done first. Set a daily schedule for yourself & your baby, and try and stick to it as much as possible. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! I really enjoy a Stay at Home Mom's playgroup my girls & I are in, and you can find one close to you on google or at meetup.com. Also, I am member of a gym & that is the best thing I ever did. I don't go like I should, but when I am going regularly I have so much energy and get some much needed 'me' time. If you keep busy during the day your more likely to tire-yourself out for good sleeping at night. Talk to your husband or signif. other about this as well. Explain how you feel and that you need a night out once in a while to do more than grocery shop.

Okay, those are my tips and the things that have helped me & several SAHMs that I know. Try the above and/or talk to your doctor. Remember that taking care of yourself IS taking care of your family!

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I am not sure that what you are going through is soley related to being a stay at home mom. It would be best to be honest with your doctor and tell him/her exactly what you are feeling. Please do not feel embarrassed as many women (and men) suffer from depression. There are many things you can do, either in conjuction with medication or not. Medication is not the only answer, but it can be helpful. If you do want to try medication, it is really important to tell your doctor all of your symptoms so you are put on the correct medication (for example, are you also feeling anxious?). Just be aware that it can take some time for anti-depressants to work and you may have to try a few or different dosages to get the right one for you. If you do not feel comfortable speaking with an OB about this issue, you may want to consider seeing a psychiatrist. If you have the time and a person to watch your child, it might be helpful to go to counseling.
Exercise and nutrition are very important, even taking a daily walk with your child could help or since it is so cold, jumping around inside and doing silly dances with your child could help.
If you feel that this is soley related to being a stay at home mom, it may be helpful to join some playgroups or make a point to spend time with friends once a week (even if the children are present), that might help you feel less isolated. Ask you husband/significant other (or a friend or family member)to watch the child while you have some time to yourself, even just to be alone for a little while.
Reach out to other moms and I think you will find that you are not alone, developing a stong support group will make a huge difference.

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I went through something similar when my daughter was a few years old. I am a working mom but I think all mothers share many of the same feelings of being overwhelmed. You have to have someone to talk to. I went to a therapist for 10 months but it was covered by my insurance. I also tried meds but couldn't handle the side effects. St. John's wort and increasing my B vitamins helped a great deal for me. Also, I found that I have to get enough sleep regardless of what it takes in order to keep "balanced." I think it really is a case of taking care of yourself even before your family so that there is enough of you to go around.
Good luck!

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Dear C.:

You do need positive reinforcement. Make sure you are taking good care of yourself. We give so much when we care for others, but we forget that we need care too. Because of the changing of our bodies after having a baby it is so important to get enough rest, eat correctly and exercise, even if it is just taking a walk with the baby and enjoying the outside. You should call your Dr now and schedule an appointment, discuss how you feel. Your doctor should know what to look for in post-partum depression situations and will have questions for you. Sometimes people do need help in getting through the blues with medicine. Your doctor can tell you what is available and how they work and any side affects. But medicine of this kind can become habit forming, so you may want to know other alternatives as well. Sometimes, it just takes doing something differently to start your day off. Is there anything you enjoy doing that you haven't been able to do? Can you join a new moms group in your area? Do you have any family or friends that you can schedule a time to break up your week with? Hope this helps. Please seek out help. You have a wonderful life to live and feeling like you are will rob you of it.

Good Luck.

P.

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I would make sure and get your thyroid checked as the symptoms you're describing are not unique to SAHMs. Here's a good website that discusses the symptoms of low thyroid: http://thyroid.about.com/cs/hypothyroidism/a/checklist.htm
(and you don't have to have all the symptoms for your thyroid to be a problem - any subset can apply)
And, here's a discussion about the overlap between depression and thyroid disorders:
http://thyroid.about.com/cs/depression/a/overview.htm

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Hi C.,

I'm a firm believer that being at home with your kids is the hardest job there is! I also believe that to do it successfully, you need "co-workers"! I've been at home with my kiddos for 6 1/2 yrs, and would not have survived mentally without my MOMS club!!! The friendships I have found there are priceless!! You can check out www.momsclub.org to see if there is a chapter in your area. If there's not, there are many, many other SAHM support groups out there: Mothers & More, MOPS, www.meetup.com just to name a few.

I found it also helps to have a hobby....I took a quilting class when my oldest was a baby. It was so nice to have a creative outlet other than laundry and mopping floors!! ;-) I don't get to quilt much now that my kiddos are older, but it definately helped me with the transition from working woman to SAHM.

Good luck & hang in there...your little ones grow up so much faster than you realize & before you know it, they're big kids!! You will never regret the small amount of time you are able to stay home and take care of them!!

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Hi C.. I'm sorry you're going through this - have you tried meetup.com? It's a Mommy site where you can meet Mommy's at playdates and other get togethers - it may help you to be around others weekly.

D.

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I'm not sure where you live, but my OB/GYN in Bedford, Dr. Beverly Wood is awesome. I've been a patient of hers for almost 7 years and she helped me with my depression issues (same as what you described although a work outside the home)and is not afraid to prescribe the meds if you need them. She is very down to earth and makes you very comfortable to talk to. I don't have a therapist so each time I go see her it's like therapy to me! She's awesome. Her office number is ###-###-####. Good Luck!

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I know how you feel. I have been a stay at home mom since 2000 and I would get very moody, and didn't want to go anywhere. I now do Mary Kay just when I want to and service the customers I have established. But I moved to Texas in April and have no family here and what has helped the most is I have found a new friend, has a child same age as my 3rd child and we workout together at my house and we help each other paint rooms we want to get painted or whatever else we have going on. I am considering doing my MK part-time again to give me an outlet one night a week. I hope this helps. My girls are 3,5, & 7. I even tried wellbutrin but it made me shakey.

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Being depressed is soooooooo normal when you stay home with kids i have 4 and i have been a stay at home mom for 12yrs. I just recently went back to work since all the kidos are in school now. NEWAY the key of to keep yourself busy i know that you feel tired and have no motivation but those are some of the symtoms of depression. Do not be afraid or embarrased to ask your dr for help somtimes us women need a little help to get ourselves over the new mommy hump the goal though needs to be that you use the meds to get over the down time while you are getting yourself involved with some sort of hobby and understand that being a mom and a wife is your job and no one that has ever had kids will tell you that it is easy but you can do it. Just look into those little eyes and the eyes of your man and i can garanty the motivation will come back.

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After my 2nd was born, well after he was born, I did the same thing. The hard thing for me was knowing that I did not want to feel the way that I did. That in and of itself would make me feel worse. Finaly when I went to the Dr. She gave me a "happy pill" while she ran labs to see if we could figure out what was going on. That pill made me feel like a whole new person and it was great! However, when we got the labs back it was due to a hormone imbalance and then we fixed that and I did not need the "happy pill." So my recomedation is get the happy pill it is great but don't leave it at that have them run blood tests. You want to know that your thyroid, etrogen and progestrone hormones are all where they should be. Treating symptoms is great but solving the problem is better.

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Oh My Goodness! Wow...is that what is wrong with me. I fight with these same things, except, a little farther gone, I hate to leave my house. In fact, I come up with excuses not to leave my house.....EVER!!!! You should express your concerns...to the Dr.

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Well I really dont have any advise for you except to definately be honest with the doc and get on some meds. I can totally relate to the stay at home blues. I am a sahm of a 5 year old girl and I have been home since day one. I am on anti depressants and I still get down in the dumps. Is your lil girl in school yet? Mine is in Kindergarten, so I am thinking of going to work outside the house part time. From about 9-2. I would love to continue talking to you and maybe getting together for outtings. That may help as well. I babysit a 2 year old lil girl as of right now. So we could do kid things. Please email me if you want at ____@____.com.

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Hi C.,
I TOTALLY get what you are saying. I have also experienced what you are explaining...it has nothing to do with the kids per say, but it may have a lot to do with your personality type. I am extroverted to the hilt and staying home is NOT conducive to this personality type unless you are very active outside the home. I met with a career coach and this was a light bulb moment for me. She actually stated that being home is MORE draining to my type than if I was out working in an interactive, highly stimulating environment. Staying home for me is draining. I have since decided to go back to work (I was keeping lil' ones in my home) and I feel so much better just having a plan. I did go see a counselor, I went to my OB and had blood work drawn, then I met with the career coach and that is when things started clicking. You need to force yourself out of the house...also, I found to take Omega 3's to help with mood issues...it also works...it is in the EPA form---it has shown to help with mild depression to bipolar (depending on how much you take).

Hang in there, Flylady is wonderful too, but I am not sure that is the issue. I would still be open with your doctor---there may be something else going on...my thyroid and iron were tested. Anyway, if you have questions about anything I mentioned here, feel free to contact me. ____@____.com

K.

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Hi C.. What you are feeling is totaly normal. But you are right, it is a good idea to talk about this with your doctor. I spent several years on antidepressants and am now off of them so I can speak from both perspectives. Only you and your doctor can decide what is best for you. You just need to tell it like it is... just what you said in this post is all you need to tell your doctor and they can go from there. One thing they should suggest is exercise. Try to force yourself to get out with your baby to take walks (the mall is great when it's too cold outside!) Whether you end up getting meds or not, exercise will help you feel better. You have to try to help yourself. I know it is so hard to do, but meds alone will not solve your problem. They are really just meant to get you in a place mentally where you can start to help yourself. Talk to your friends too. If you don't have many, join a mom's group. I have no doubt that you'll meet several people in the exact same situation as you. Sometimes just talking can really help. Good luck, and feel free to message me if you want.

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Don't chicken out!! It wasn't til baby number three when I finally had the guts to tell my doc I thought I had post partum depression and asked for drugs. I nursed all of my kids and do not like medicating myself. I went in and just practically cried the whole time. It is hard to honest with someone, expecially for me because I was never honest with myself.I hope it works out for you. Having babies is hard work and being a stay at home mom with little adult interaction is even harder!! L.

1 mom found this helpful

I went through something similar myself. I knew what my problem was (like you do), that it was depression. It took a lot for me to do something about it. I had always felt like it would be a sign of defeat or of weakness to admit that I had it. I got the guts & went to my family practioner who I think is FABULOUS! The nurse & then the doctor asked me a lot of questions about how I was feeling/thinking/etc (main thing is to be honest with them & yourself). I was already in counseling, so he started me on an anti-depressant, Lexapro. There is no way to really know which med is going to work for you. For me, personally, Lexapro worked wonderfully, but I know of others it didn't. Anyway, best of luck to you!

1 mom found this helpful

Hello C.,

Have you ever tried Mommys Day Out groups? Anyway, you do sound like you have clinical depression. I have it also and am prescribed Wellbutrin for it by a Physchiatrist. It is best to seek a Physchiatrists opinion on your medication since they are specialists in the field. Anyway, since taking the wellbutrin my life has gotten a lot clearer. I have also started taking care of ME first cuz' if I'm not well how can I possibly take care of my daughter. Tell your Doctor exactly what you said in your question and he will be able to treat you correctly. He will probably start you on a low dose to work up to the amount you will eventually need, depending on your depression and how bad it is. It takes several weeks for the medication to take effect so don't expect overnight results. I work for a company that works with the children in Hunt/Kaufman/Collin & Dallas counties that have depression, anger and a whole slew of other diagnosis and I work with a Phsychiatrist and the knowledge I have just shared is strictly what I have experienced. I am not a doctor. Hope your world turns around and love that baby girl!

1 mom found this helpful

I am mildlydepressed aswell. i am just like you but i have found that if i make my self go out and do thing it makes it better. it sounds funny but i got to the point that once a month i stay in a hotel w/my husband. we send Olivia to her grannys house and focuse on us. it helps. i found that i was all about her and forgot about me. i felt left out @ first but than i just felt unloved. everyone was baby this and baby that i just was the one that had her. my house was a mess and my husband was upset i didnt want to cook or clean or have sex. i had no drive to do any thing. i didnt go to the Dr b/c i have a huge fear of them( which made haveing her hard). i just want you to know talk to someone, have time to yourself, and all ways remember your not alone. there are a lot of us going threw the same thing. oh go out more. getting away will releas some stress. oh 2 benadryl @ night will help you sleep restfully.my dr said its ok to take every day. i realy hope this helps let me know.

I am a stay at home mom of two and one on the way. I had post partum depression with both and would have felt awful if I did not have a doctor I could speak openly with about this. It is a serious matter that all obgyn's need to be open about as well as receptive to their patients discussing it. I would be very direct about how I have been feeling with this new doctor. If he/she cannot discuss this with you in a manner you are comfortable with and find a solution then I would move on and find someone else. By the way, how is your daughters name pronounced?-I love how it looks spelled

hi C.,

I am a stay at home mom myself. I have gone though the same thing. I have taken meds to help and it does help. i also found that taking time for yourself away fron the kids every now and then helps. doing things you enjoy like hobbies readin ect will help. sometimes we get stuck in a rut doing the same thing all the time and dont realize it is happening till its to late. most of all talk to other adults sometimes stay at home moms find the only conversation we have had that day is the on with our kids. NOt only do kids need play dates so do parents. i have several friends who are stay at home moms and we try to get together at least once a week and talk on the phone daily. it has made a world of differce for us.

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