Starting Sleep Training

Hi A.,
I highly recommend the book by Dr. Marc Weissbluth, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." Extremely helpful and research based. You can purchase it from Amazon.com. Sleep is soo critical for children. I have a wonderful 15 month old and am expecting #2. Sleep is always something you have to be intentional about. Blessings,

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Your baby is too young to start sleep training. I wouldn't start any younger than 12 weeks and then don't be to diligent to start. Dr Weissbluth's 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child' is a great book from babies to teens. I use it for my kids and it has worked with both. It gives different techniques, based on your comfort level of 'letting the child cry it out'. You also don't do a lot of that when they are very young as well and also, don't worry too much about where they fall asleep when they are very young either. They don't begin to understand 'spoiling' until they are about 8 months or so. My son only took naps in a stoller outside until he was about 8 months! It worked, so we went with it!
Good luck.

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Developmentally, an 8-week old is not ready to start sleep training. Generally, around 4 months is a good time- you want to start before they are too old. It's much easier to sleep train a baby who can't stand in the crib or roll over!
I would highly recommend 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child' by Marc Weissbluth- it has been such a blessing for our family! It's kind of a longer, boring read (and hard to stay awake reading when you're already so sleep deprived!), but it is definitely worth the read!
Good luck!

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Please check out Helathy Sleep Habits, Hapy Child. It is important to know how to encourage sleep at the right times, but too young to 'sleep train'. They aren't really ready for that until about 4 months I think. The book will help you understand your babies sleep needs and abilities at each age. (I would encourage you away from using babywide. it is pretty harsh and doesn't seem to be age appropriate at the younger ages.)

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Before I can answer that, I'd need to know a couple things. Bottle feeding or nursing? Family bed or crib? Near your bedroom or in your bedroom?

that said, I have 4 kids, I've taken them through infancy every way I just described. What I'm not really certain of, is what sleep training is. If you mean trying to get them to sleep through the night, or if you mean getting them on a schedule to waken and go to bed. If you plan to send your child to school, it's better to have your child on a schedule that will ease his biological clock into sync with his daily life. Depending upon whether you begin schooling outside the home, that's something you can gradually transition toward over the course of several month... I've done it over just a couple months. So really, you should get your child on a bedtime routine that gives you and your husband some alone time at night. Whatever you do, don't get in the habit of keeping a toddler up until 9 or 10 and sleeping until 9am.... you will never see your husband alone! lol It's just not good for your relationship. I still send my 9yos to bed at 8:30. He gets up at 6am w/o urging. Whereas my 7 3/4yod is a night owl. They go to bed at the same time, but she struggles to turn her brain off, just like me and is never ready to wake up in the morning.

The more important training.... is to make sure you get your child's bowel movements scheduled first thing in the morning. An OLD ped told me that with my first child. He said that it has a huge impact on their ability to cope in school.. I'd have to say it was the best advice I ever received from a doc.

Finally, until a child is nearly one year, or can communicate by simple ASL sign language, I was always raised to respond to their needs when they cry. Infants cry when something is wrong. If they are confident that you will respond to their cries, they will be happy, well-adjusted children. Like my mom always told me-- you can't spoil a baby. So pick her/him up, carry him around to sleep in a sling, don't keep the house quiet and savor every day, it's gone all too soon. BTW my kids are 7, 9, 20, 25. I homeschool the younger 2 and they both learned to sign at about 12 months and that made a huge difference in the Terrible Two stage... never had them!

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Call Dr Weissbluth -- ###-###-#### -- he's a genius!!!!! and very loving and kind, too!!!

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The book "Healthy Sleep Habits, happy baby" by Dr. Mark Weisblut is great. At an early stage, you don't really train your baby but you do keep a good look out for signs of tiredness. Baby should not be awake for more than 2 hrs at a stretch. So after an hour of wakefulness, start looking for signs of tiredness and then get to sleep quickly. Babies that are well rested from naps, sleep better at night.

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I wouldn't start "crying it out" yet -- the baby is too little. But, good sleep habits start at day one. The things that worked for me were:
1. feed the baby when he wakes up. This way he doesn't get used to falling asleep to a bottle/the breast. So his day should look like sleep, wake, eat, play, quiet soothing (ie read book, rocking), sleep.
2. POUNCE on sleep cues. I learned to absolutely jump on the first sleepy sign - an eye rub, being the least bit disagreeable, turning the head away.... It turned out my daughter was always tired at 6 pm on the dot. So, right in the middle of dinner, I'd swoop her up, rinse off her face (once she was older), get her a clean diaper, and then just sway with her a minute next to the crib in a dark room, and then lay her down. NO CRYING. "Perfect timing produces no crying".
3. For me, Swaddling made a huge difference. I got the miracle blanket online (it was like 25 dollars) and it really worked. She was swaddled in it until 6 months!

Following these things, I never had to "train" my second baby the way I did my first, and she has always gone to sleep better than my first.

Good luck!
T.

I never sleep *trained* either of my kids. They both went to sleep on their own when they were ready--one at 3 months and the other at 11 months. They are both very good sleepers to this day. Things that help are consistant napping and an early bedtime. I recommend the book The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley and The Baby Book by Dr Sears, if you need something to reference.

If your baby is nursing, he will need to wake to eat every few hours for the next several months. Night nursing keeps your prolactin levels up and helps you sustain a healthy milk supply.

Congrats on your baby boy! I agree with most of the other Moms...a baby of his age should not be sleep trained. Any time your son cries during months 0-3, he is communicating a specific need -- and it may simply be for physical contact. Babies require this as much as they need to be fed or a diaper change. (You are actually fulfilling a very important physiological need.)

During these first three months of getting to know your newborn, this is a great time to start watching for his sleep cues to emerge (he may tug at his ears, etc.) and discovering which soothing methods he starts to prefer (does he like when you sing, etc.)

It's also the best time to find a sleep training method right for you. Along with the other Mamas, I recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby," by Marc Weissbluth, MD. It is written in sections, according to month of your babies age (all the way through adolescence), so you only have to read the introduction and then the section on your baby's age.

There is one particular sleep training book on the market that some Moms may have found success. I was emphatically told by my Pediatrician to NOT use this method during the newborn months...no sleep training until the baby is older than 3 months old.

I wish you and your baby boy all the best!

We followed (w/in reason) the book Babywise, and our daughter slept through the night on her 2 month b-day (w/a dream feed at 11:00). She is now 4 1/2 months old and sleeps from 7:00 pm to 7:00 am. She takes a two hour nap in the morning and a two hour nap in the afternoon.

Sleeping is what they do best. What kind of training are you talking about?

Yes, to let him cry it out, it's too young for sure. But...it's not too young to start a bedtime routine. This might help prepare you when you are going to start "training" (whihc to me sounds horrible). We never actually had to let our daughter cry it out...we started a routine at 8 weeks and it's worked perfectly for us. Here it is (from back then)

She eats bottle. Plays a little and then we give her a bath (yes, every night...some say it's too much, but it's routine and she's used to it and it works and is not an inconvenience). Give her next bottle, and she's out like a light. In the beginning, she'd sleep from about 10-4, then from 9-4, then 8-4:30, now it's 7-5:30-6, whenever. We never let her cry in the middle of the night though...if she does, we give her pacifier and she's back to sleep.

Anyway, that works for us. I hate the cry it out method, seems cruel to me.

Good luck! You'll do fine. Trust your gut and your instinct.

Highly recommend reading Baby Wise. We used it & our kids all slept through the night by 10 weeks! 7-8 hours & in their own bed.

I think sleep training should begin when both you and baby are ready. For the first 3 months, my baby and I slept together--he hated the bassonet and I couldn't get any sleep without holding him. Then at 3 months, I wanted to sleep next to my husband again and we started putting our son in his crib. Most of the time he would fall asleep breastsfeeding in my arms. Then when he began to eat cereal at 5 months, we started sleep training. He would only wake up once during the night and finally by 6 months he was sleeping through the night. We did start off with 5 minutes of crying before checking on him, then going up every few days till he reached 20 minutes. He usually would not make it to 20 minutes. We also had a special camera baby monitor so we could watch him. Talk to your doctor too about when they think is a good time.

Yet another vote for Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. He's a Chicago pediatrician who has conducted extensive research in infant/child sleep issues over spanning 3 decades. While 8 weeks is a bit young, you can definitely get him used to 'routines' where you do the same things before naptime and bedtime.

I didn't start formal sleep training until 6 months and wish I had done it at 4 months. I followed the book pretty much to the letter and within 2 days he was right on track. I was shocked...and we were all sleeping healthily!

You've gotten pretty good advice here. Don't let one nasty response get you down - we were all rookies at one time or another :)

I know someone who sleep-trained both of her babies by 6 weeks, so no it's not too early-- for the right mom and the right baby!

I think you have to do hat's right for you and what your baby will tolerate! If you're not getting any sleep and you're going nuts, it's not good for the baby to have a nutty mommy any more than it is for a baby to be left in his crib to cry himself to sleep. So weigh the difference.

My friend who sleep-trained her infants by 6 wks did it by walking them and spending lots of time with them before bed, but then once she put them in their crib they'd cry and she'd come talk to them, sing to them, shh them, rub their bodies-- but nooot pick them up and that's the key.

For your reference my baby is 5wks and I'm not planning on sleep-training him for a while. But that's me and that's my baby. Everyone's needs are different; my friend needed her babies sleepin in their own crib through the night by 6 wks cuz she had to go back to work and needed her rest. I'm a stay-at-home mom and have a little more wiggle room.

Do what's best for you. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

I started sleep training at six weeks.

No absolutely not the earlier the better. I use the EASY method from the book the baby whisperer it is wonderful it really helps you to understand your child. EASY stands for EAT, ACTIVITY, SLEEP, and YOU. My daughter is on that schedule and it has made nap time and bed time alot easier.

A.,
congratulations on your baby!
8 weeks is definitely too soon to start sleep training. From what I've been reading, most experts recommend starting at 6 months. Until then, do not let your baby cry it out, and meet his every need! You want your baby to know that you are there for him, and at this stage they really cry because they need things, not to manipulate you :) Enjoy being a mom, its great!

not too early! If you do the following, plus a dream feed you should be good to go. A dream feed is where you put nurse at say 8 and put the baby to bed. Then you are ready to go to bed at 10 so you feed the baby again while the baby sleeps. This allows the baby to go longer without eating and you go get more hours of solid sleep. Do that combined with a good nap schedule with at least 2 solid 2 hour naps during the day and you will find good sleep for all.

try using the Baby Whisperer's EASY method for a schedule, and the Happiest Baby on the Block 5 s's method. Those two combined will make cio not be a needed thing (at that age)
EASY - when the baby wakes up it Eats. After you feed it, then it has Activity - bouncy seat, tummy time, sitting up and playing with toys, swing, exersaucer, etc. When the baby gets fussy check the B's - boredom, butt or burp. If it's none of those then off to Sleep. Don't wait for the baby to do more than get the tiniest bit fussy, then see what is causing the fusses - if it's just that they needed their diaper change do that, but if it's not the activity is boring, the butt is dirty or they have to burp, then put them down. This may happen after as short as 45 minutes, don't freak, it really means they are tired.
Now, to get them to sleep use the 5 s's. Swaddle the baby, hold the baby on their side and sway as they suck on something (paci, your knuckle or their finger/thumb) and make a shush noise. This will calm your baby. When the baby is calm, but not asleep yet, keeping them swaddled lay them in the bed. I like to pat them instead of sway after a minute or two cause you can still pat after they are put down but you can't sway, so pat the baby and continue patting gradually decreasing it as you put them in the bed. Also continue the shushing as you put them down, again gradually getting quieter.
If you do these two you will find a well rested, easily managed baby in no time.

I just glanced at the responses...but looks like there's different ideas of sleep training. I wouldn't do cry it out at this age...you as the mom will know when the baby will cry a last harah to sleep versus crying because upset anyway, so "cry it out" doesn't really seem an option to me anyway. But 8 weeks is surely old enough to set a routine for the day, which will naturally help sleeping through the night (my kids were sleeping through 8 hour nights around then)as well as healthy sleeping habits, happy predictable eating habits, and generally easier contentment. With the routine, you lay down the baby for nap at nap time, wake to feed until the baby begins waking on their own at that time to eat, and it promotes the right amount of sleep as well, catching the baby before they are OVERtired when going down for naps. Feel free to ask more questions about it, but to get you started the beginning routine for this age until sleeping through the night would look something like this:
6am wake and feed
7:30-9am naptime
9am eat
10:30-noon naptime
noon eat
1:30-3pm naptime
3pm eat
4:30-6pm naptime
6pm eat
7:30-9pm naptime
9pm eat
10pm eat and then to bed for the night
Feed on demand in the night until the baby naturally drops these mid-night feedings.

Another perk to the schedule/routine, among many, is that the baby does not learn the need to eat in order to fall asleep, as feeding is relaxing but a crutch when NEEDED to fall asleep.
Best wishes! Again ask any more questions if you would like as I did the routine with both my boys along with the home day care babies who's parents decided to go that route.

Hi A.,

I've heard and read that 4 months is a good time to start. I personally think 8 weeks is too early. You can adjust your baby's bed time, though, which should help. Try moving it earlier to around 7 (or even a bit earlier). This should help you get a little more sleep until your baby gets old enough to be "trained." An earlier bed time really helped my daughter sleep longer chunks, and if we went to bed earlier, too, we got more sleep.

Best of luck,
R.

Around 4 months of age. He needs to be able to self-soothe. I suggest reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I started a routine and some sleep training at 3 1/2 months because I was returning to work.

I definitley think that 8 weeks is too early to begin sleep training. At that age, they do not have the ability to self-soothe or put themselves to sleep well. You can, however, begin creating good sleep habits at this age (a consistent bedtime routine, shortened nap routine, sleeping in his crib for naps and bedtime, etc.). I have found through experience (and have read many sources that agree) that 4-5 months is the youngest you can begin sleep training (I assume that by sleep training you mean letting him cry for a while to see if he can put himself to sleep). This,however, didn't work well with my daughter until she was about 6 months old. She's slept very well (at least 10 hours straight through on most nights) since she was about your son's age, but this was acheived through a good bedtime routine and fairly strict nap/eating schedule during the day, not by letting her cry. Now, on the rare nights that she does wake, I can go in and check on her for a moment and then leave after less than a minute. If she begins crying again, I am able to leave her and she usually puts herself back to sleep within 10 mintues or so. But like I said, I just recently was able to do this. Before that, I would go to her and soother her (without nursing or bottle, though) until she was almost back to sleep. One word of advise that will help you out now: once your son has gone a few nights without needing to feed, when he wakes, see if you can get him back to sleep without nursing or a bottle. This will help lengthen his sleep stretches rather than waking up just to "snack" throughout the night (do be sure he is able to do this... you never want to let him go hungry!) Hope this helps and good luck. Those first few sleep-deprived months can be difficult, but he will sleep better soon! Oh, and check out Marc Weissbluth's book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" if you haven't already. It will answer many of your sleep questions!

*** I already posted this response, but I just wanted to add a few more thoughts. After posting, I scrolled down and read some other responses. Please do not let the harsh response from one of the moms get you down. You are a new mom, just trying to figure things out. We were all there. The fact that you posted this question shows that you care a great deal about your son and are just trying to figure out what's best for him. My daughter is only 7 months old, and I still feel very unsure of myself at times, as I'm sure you feel too being a "rookie mom"! Becoming a mother is the best, yet also the most intimidating, change that I have been through. It's okay to not know the answers and to ask lots of questions. This is supposed to be a safe forum for moms to support each other, and most of us on here do. So hang in there!!! :-)

I began with mine when she was approx 4 months old. The style of sleep training depends on what you are comfortable with. You can do styles from Pantley's "No cry sleep method" and Dr. Sears where no crying is used, all the way to the other spectrum of Crying it out via Feber's method. You need to do your research what is comfortable with your parenting style.
We personally started our daughter with sleep training when she was approx 4-5 mos old. I used the modified Ferber's method and have had great results since then. Now she is 3 yrs old and still sleeps very well. Good luck.

WAY TOO YOUNG! I would say once your baby has a decent amount of solid foods, etc. and at a weight your ped is comfortable with, then you can "cry to sleep" (sometime after 9 months old). I'm a mom of three boys and with my first, I was pressured to "cry to sleep" at ten weeks. He wound up loosing weight between his 4th and 5th month. Looking back, I wish I'd never had done this....breaks my heart.

If you're needing more sleep, be sure to watch and follow Dr. Harvey Karp's video "Happiest Baby on the Block". Essential for any mom.

Yes, 8 weeks is too early. They need to know that you will be there to comfort them at this age. My son is 7 months old now, but we started sleep training at 4 months. That's when we heard that was a good age to start. We used the cry it out method. Within 2 days, he was sleeping in his crib all by himself. It was harder for my husband and I than on my son. You just have to be strong. I would definitely wait. Good luck!

Nope. My second child was sleeping through the night at three weeks. ( by that I mean six hours or so)

It is never to early to start a routine. Try to make a bedtime routine at the same time every night. Try to schedule nap times at the same time everyday. Don't stress too much over it this early on, it will not go exactly as planned everyday. But this early effort will evolve into a sleeping routine. Form good habits early:)

I can see you have had loads of replies so i will be quick. every child is different thats a given. For my second son i started him at 8 weeks and by 11 weeks (2weeks ago) he was sleeping almost 13 hours. A great book i read was one called "how to get your child to sleep 12 hours by 12 weeks" by Suzie someone (sorry i forgot the rest for her name) I got the book from St Charles Library. Its great because you can read through it so fast. Another good one was "no cry sleep solution"

Good luck and follow your instincts.

From the perspective of two kids here... the answer to your question is "yes". But also: Take advantage of your son's age, and hold him as much as possible. You don't form "bad habits" at this age or for the next couple of months, so if he wants to sleep all day on you (and it's convenient for you), then let him! You won't get that time back and you will miss it when it's gone. Plus, babies tend to sleep much longer that way! The more they sleep during the day, the better they sleep at night (strange but true.)

My daughter is four months old and has slept in her car seat at home at nights, but only now is she falling asleep in other places because she likes to stretch out instead of being curled up. This happened with my son too and I'm pretty sure your guy will reach the stage as well.

I was desperate for sleep the first time around and wanted to schedule everything because I'm a very scheduled person. But I've learned, and with my second it's much more following her cues. She's actually starting to fall into a 3-4 nap a day pattern *on her own* and once that solidifies I'll start to be more proactive in putting her to bed rather than just letting her fall asleep wherever.

I would not let the baby cry it out or anything like that but just start good habits. Always aways always put baby to sleep in their crib, bassinet etc. That one little thing can make a huge difference in the long run. (and don't run in at every little whimper) Also start a bed time routine and do it every night. You'll be fine. :)