Sports Make Kids Smarter and More Likely to Succeed?

"Would I be making the worst mistake ever if I dropped her team sport...?"

No, you would not!!! She is 13, and she is old enough (and sounds like plenty smart enough) to know what she needs, and it sounds like she needs a break.

Follow her lead on this--if she changes her mind later, that is fine. And be proud of her for choosing this--many kids might opt to go the other way (let school slide in favor of the sports, etc.).

Sports don't make kids smarter. They do provide valuable experiences for kids, IMO, but I don't think that a kid that doesn't play team sports is going to be less of a "good citizen" or valuable member of society. Plus, she's already been part of a team and has learned a lot from that already.

I would let her take some time off the organized sports. She sounds like a kid with a great head on her shoulders. Perhaps allowing her more breathing room, she will discover more creative outlets as well? Perhaps try some drama or painting classes she enjoys? Those would certainly round her out nicely before college time comes, if she wishes.

My daughter is 16 and has never participated in sports. She has a bit of a defective foot, since birth, and as a result has a minor weight problem that makes being active painful..but we are working on and will resolve! But she is a creative child. She earned her way into a great Arts High School (Fantastic portfolio, interviews and auditions and written essay and application work to get in) for these last 2 years of school. She has always had at least a 3.7 GPA as well. She has a small, but great set of friends (almost none of them are sports kids, ALL take Honors, AP or IB classes and are artists, drama or choir kids) and she is a wonderful and witty child!

Sports do not make a child social and smart and active.

She sounds like a great kid! You're doing everything right, quit listening to these busy bodies! Let her take a break :)

I am an SAT tutor and work with elite-level kids going to elite-level schools. The idea that kids who do not do a team sport will become failures is preposterous. My students are probably 50/50 team athletes/non-athletes. The non-team-athletes have other things going on that are equally as important and engaging as traditional sports - they are usually involved in some type of performing arts (singing, dance, theater, marching band), an individual sport (horseback, martial arts, aerial arts), leadership/community service, or work - a lot - at a paid job. I didn't do a team sport after middle school and did just fine - high GPA, high SAT scores, lots of other extra-curricular activities, went to a good college on scholarship, etc.

Let your daughter do what makes her happy. I think that it's valuable for children to have some exposure to team sports, but she's already had plenty of experience with that so you can check off the box next to team sports as done and let her focus her energies on what matters to her. And again, I'm working with kids who are heading off to the best colleges in the country and fully half of them did not play a team sport in high school.

My mother in law told me the other day that my kids needed team sports because they make them better people, more responsible and more respectful. My answer....if I can't teach them that what is a team sport going to do. Especially if they don't want to do it. If I force them, it is only creating regret and stress.

My youngest loves sports, music etc. My older two don't. They like school and family. Being in a sport doesn't determine who you are or how you will turn out. It may help, but I think people need to look at the whole picture. Not just the sport.

My sister in law has her kids in all kinds of activities and they hate it because with school, sports, family, homework etc. when is there time to sit and enjoy each other?

Your daughter sounds so responsible and sounds like she knows what she wants. You should give her the break she is thriving for.

Sports, including extracurricular activities is what makes kids better at school. She is still involved in karate and hiking and a plethora of other character building activities, so she is not a sedentary, lazy child. Removing a team sport isn't going to change who she is, as she still has lots of other active things going on after school.

As for friends and neighbors, they sound like a bunch of busy-body gossips. I seriously doubt the only child in her son's class who needs tutoring is the one lazy kid that doesn't do sports.

Let your daughter stop doing soccer, she doesn't enjoy it, and feels overwhelmed. When soccer season gets crazier the older she gets, her grades could suffer in the long run.

The argument that sports = good grades, is more to encourage children with no interests or activities to become active and have higher achievement. This goes with not just sports, but any extra activity, like choir, band, drama, art... all of these things require a certain grade point average in order to continue for performances and such.

My dad was completely unathletic and never played a sport of any kind. He was labeled a genius on his IQ test and became a successful mechanical engineer. Sports had zero correlation to his academic performance or career performance.

Same with me. I am extremely uncoordinated and never did sports voluntarily (unless forced to through PE, which was the class that lowered my GPA). I excelled academically all the way through college. I eventually became the PR manager for two billion dollar+ divisions of a large corporation and now have my own business. Sports had nothing to with anything for me.

Your daughter has a full schedule. She doesn't need sports. If it's something she's passionate about, by all means support it, but if she's not, dropping will have zero effect on her potential for success. Forget the naysayers.

Being physically active is what really matters. She will still be in karate which is a very physically demanding sport. She sounds like she has a great head on her shoulders and is learning her limits which is a very important skill, especially for women because we have a strong tendency to say "Yes" to everything and can find ourselves burned out. People who say she will become lazy have no clue what they are talking about. Motivation comes from inside a person, not from outside a person. She already sounds like a self-motivator. That won't change just because she opts out of a team sport.

I want one like her!!!!!!

She sounds awesome and smart and it seems like she is mature enough to make her own choices. I would let her get out of soccer. Chances are she will decide she misses it and get back in or find something else she really likes.

OK, here are MY reasons for putting my son in sports (in addition to what we can do at home):
1. teach him discipline
2. teach him teamwork
3. teach him respect for others incluing adults
4. get out his energy
5. give incentive for doing well in other parts of his life (ie school, family, etc)
6. help him learn what it feels like to loose and bounce back
7. help him learn what success and winning feel like
8. SELF ESTEEM builder
Sports and activites that I will/do use in my home (in a certain order)
1. Soccer (best starter team sport)
2. Karate/martial arts (best for reasons 1-8) yes teamwork there are "team aspects to karate as well.
3. Cheer/Dance/Gymnastics (1-8)
4. Guitar/Other Musical Lessons ... Not a sport but great for older kids/teens on 1,3,5,6-8 and touches on the others
It seems to me from what you have said that your daughter has learned all of these skills and is quite successful in life, and what maturity to inform you when she is overwhelmed and that she knows what she wants to focus on. Karate will be a WONDERFUL way to help maintain all of the lessons she has put to work over the past 13 yrs and who knows she may go back to a sport next year and just need a break. Think about the contraditions ... have you not spent the past 13yrs teaching her to be a strong individual, leading teamplayer, confident young woman who knows how to make good decisions and follow her heart only to tell her that she is wrong and will do what you say she will do because she must be like all the other's on the block? Good Luck with your decision, my stance is to stand by the young woman you have raised and allow her to start making her own choices and supporting them like the proud parents you are.

pffftttt. yes, sports are a good thing. but 'good things' are a general term and don't apply 100% of the time to 100% of individuals.
your daughter HAS participated in sports and obviously benefited from them. it's clear she has learned the good stuff from them and is intelligent, self-motivated, goal-oriented and mature. i would definitely be supporting this child's choices and helping her along her path, not trying to shove her into anything. you've done SO well so far. why not trust your daughter, and trust all the work you've done thus far in guiding and forming this exemplary young person?
khairete
S.

Goodness. Let her stop. She sounds plenty busy and active to me. Besides which, if she is continuing with her karate, she is still going to be exercising. My son is a black belt in Tang Soo Do, and if your daughter is a red belt (that is the last color belt before black in Tang Soo Do) then she had been doing karate for awhile. If your husband is adamant that she continue with a "team" sport, would he consider her participating in a "demo team" with her karate school?

I agree, which it sounds like you do too, that sports is a good thing. And while it can help in other aspects of your child's life, I don't think that doing or not doing sports is the CAUSATIVE reason that your daughter has been successful thus far. Just like the one kid in your friend's class that she cites as the only one who needs a tutor and doesn't do sports. Maybe he/she doesn't do sports, but that is not THE REASON that the child is less successful (by her standards). Perhaps the child isn't motivated, either in sports or academics. Maybe he/she has an undiagnosed learning disability that affects his self esteem so he doesn't take on additional obligations.

Your daughter is not going to suddenly become lazy and stupid because she quits soccer. That is just ridiculous.

Encourage her to continue making wise choices... it sounds like she knows what she wants out of life and how to get there! Congratulations!

She's already benefited from the team sports. Having her focus on something she's more interested at this age won't hurt her but help her. She sounds like a wonderful young lady. Congratulations and good luck!

I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Your daughter sounds extremely busy and if she is saying she's not interested in playing team sports right now, then I'm not sure why this is an issue. She is certainly not going to get "lazy" if she's still doing karate, is in accelerated classes, volunteers . . . I highly encourage you to listen to your daughter, not to "everyone's opinion". She sounds like a great kid who knows her limits and knows what she wants.

Sports teach great lessons, but kids also need down time too. It sounds like she is very active and very involved, and wants to focus on what is important to her. After one season away, she made decide that she wants to join again. it sounds like she knows herself pretty well. I would let her make this decision.

Your daughter sounds awesome, and as an awesome daughter she, at age 13, should be able to decide if she wants to continue sports or not. You don't want her over stressed or burnt out! She'll still be in karate, which is great! Maybe she just needs some time off and might start back up in HS???

It sounds like she just needs a break from it. I think if she takes a season off, she'll get to focus on her other activities more. Then she can always sign up again if she misses it, or if you think she's slipping in other areas, you can sign her back up. She already has karate, so she's still going to be active. My husband says one activity at a time, per kid...otherwise, all we do is run, run, run...Of course, that can be sometimes easier said than done, depending on schedules and interests.

It sounds like you are very blessed to have a teenage daughter that really has it together. I'd reward her with a little independence to make this decision on her own. Best of luck...and let us know how it works out.

I with others if she wants to drop the team sports by all means let her and support her. She already has a full plate.
My oldest son isn't into sports except golf. He does great in school,has a wonderful variety of friends. He has also recently started volunteering at his little brother's after school events.

sounds like she's involved in a lot and is probably feeling overwhelmed. It also sounds like you have thought her to make good choices for herself. If she wants to quit these things right now I would let her.

Good luck and God bless!!!

I don't know about that at all. My kids are not involved in any sports and never have been. However, I do try to get them active in some way. We don't really have anything available to us in my area that does not cost a ton of money and I can get my kids to since I work full time. I think it has more to do with involvement with others. Let her pursue her academics if that is what she wants but watch to see if she is cutting herself off from others.

It sound like you have been a great mom. You daughter had done well
and is headed in the correct direction.
Now isn't it time to let her plan her own life.?You have an almost
adult now. Be her friend. Clearly she can figure out what to
do and if she charts her own course she will learn more in the
long run.

Its OK to take a break! I mean, if she does not sign up for basketball this season, does that mean she can never go back?? Of course not. Let her take a season off and see how it goes. I have 2 kids and this fall we totally over-committed ourselves. We had 1-2 activities every single day for each kid, and I am NOT signing them up for another team sport for winter. It is just too much. My third grader has a science project due next week (they've had 4 weeks) and she has so much left to do on it because there are just not enough hours in the day. And forget going to any other fun things, like pumpkin patches or other events, we are double booked on that day, so we can't go. Anyway, I think we try to fill up our kids lives with all of these "enrichment" activities, but sometimes, we just need a little break to re-energize and learn which activities are really important to us. I think the little examples of "lazy" or unmotivated kids you gave were NOT representative of your daughter, or the population at large. Don't get sucked in to that pressure talk. Let your daughter just BE for a few months.

I too am a lil late in responding, and I have not read all the responses. I think as long as she has goals and satys busy with school and important things, ok. But if she was making the change due to her friends and social life, that is another story. Maybe have an agreement that as long as she stays out of trouble and stays busy, she can take a break??

Good Luck!!

Hello, I don't know if this is true or not. I know that sports and activities can help for children not only to be physically fit, but to have an outlet other than sitting and doing nothing.
Good luck with your precious daughter.
K. K.

i don't think they make any one smarter, but more or less gives them the thrive to do good so they can keep enjoying what they want to enjoy. it definately helps with social skills and i believe EVERY kid should be involved in a sport or activity of some kind

I think she would be fine to drop it for a while...she still has Karate!

But I think I would want her to pick atleast one team sport a year once she hits High School...but that's just me, I think along the lines of the more active they are with the good stuff the less time/opportunity to get involved in the bad stuff, especially in High School!

I really do not think that athletics have anything to do with it, though I think maybe participating in competitive activities may help kids prepare for life. I graduated high school with highest distinction, was 10th out of 511 and did not participate in ANY sports. I'm just not very coordinated, but I did keep active by running or doing workout videos. I did, however, participate in drama, Latin Club, Spell Bowl, debate, Drama Club, NHS and Mock Trial, and I had a 30 hour a week job the last two years so I was very busy. Many of my friends who had similar academic standings also had many extracurriculars and a job or even two, just no sports. Our valedictorian did not play any team sports and actually didn't participate in any clubs, either. Nor did she have a job. I also know people who, growing up, were forced to play at least one sport at any given time. Well, guess what? Now they're the ones sitting on the couch and I'm the one who still works out.

Ultimately, I think it's a decision that should be made between you, your husband and your daughter. Your neighbors and friends shouldn't really get a say. Just remind them there are many other worthwhile ways to keep busy.

Updated

Sorry, I just read your "what happened." I'm glad the hubby relented and you worked it out with your daughter. I also want to add in that in high school and college, I spent a fair amount of time tutoring athletes, so that alone proves sports does not equal being smarter.