Speech Issues - Letter "R" Sound

Updated on April 12, 2012
K.S. asks from Indianapolis, IN
19 answers

My daughter is 7 and still can't say her "r" sounds. I've been told by some that schools won't even do speech for kids for "r" sounds until 3rd grade but I think that is way too late! She gets frustrated because sometimes people don't understand her. Research has shown that it is better to teach things while kids are still young, so why do they wait so long to correct this sound? Anyone know?

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So What Happened?

The speech teacher at her school emailed me (her teacher told her of my concerns) and said she could screen her, but typically they won't do anything until they are 8 years old.

She gave me some tips that I will try (like having back of her tongue touch top of her mouth) so we will see. I am not sure she will understand how to do that, but we can give it a go as it is better than nothing. So now do I have her screened, even though they probably won't do anything? Or should I just wait?

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L.

answers from Cleveland on

My daughter had a problem with her Rs also. She sounded as though she was Irish!
She is a teenager now and I do not know when that speech problem went away but she sounds the same as any other teenager now. Some things resolve themselves.

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G.B.

answers from Boise on

Because the schools are a bunch of flunkies. They are run by the government.

I would get her into see a speech pathologist.

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A.K.

answers from Muncie on

Of course, it was our daughter Rachel Laura that had problems with R's and L's from the time she was learning to speak... when she was 4, we took Rachel to a speech pathologist with her pediatrician's reference. And this speech pathologist shared the same information we've been hearing since then. "r" is one of the last sounds to develop - in Rachel's case, she managed to conquer "l" before first grade (so her sister was Emily rather than Emuhwee). But at age ten, Rachel is still going through speech therapy for "r" at school - in Kindergarten, they evaluated her and found a total of six sounds that were problems (particularly <ch> and <th> also), and yes, <r> is still a struggle, but it's getting better. At a public school, they should be able to evaluate your daughter and her speech issues, and if things need worked on, the teacher, speech pathologist and parent will meet at a case conference to put together a plan (IEP).

Yes, "r" is one of the last sounds to totally develop, but this is certainly something you can work on in positive ways - good luck!

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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

I was in speech therapy classes for my "r"s when I was younger. It's actually a common issue, it's one of the more difficult sounds in the English language. Starting younger is best, but if she is older she can still learn, it might take a little longer. She'll need more "retraining" to undo the habit of dropping them.

I think your school might wait so long because there might be an added social incentive for older children. Dropping the "r" can make the speaker sound like they are using "baby talk". The desire to be more adult and to be understood is much stronger in older children, it give them something they want to work towards.

Being there myself I now know that dropping the sound is easier then saying it.You can even start some things at home on your own. I remember peanut butter on the roof of my mouth being used to encourage the "r". I also remember just being asked to be a growling animal for a few minuets. You can even try asking her to stop and slow down when she speaks to you, be gentle and ask her to resay any "r" words properly. Perhaps you can turn her frustration into a passion to relearn. Be gentle and reminder her that as upset as she is that people can't understand, she needs to work hard to correct it.

Good luck!

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R.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

My son will be 7 in April, and is in the first grade. His school (Summit Country Day, Cincinnati) screened all the kids at the beginning of the year. They identified a problem with his "r" sounds, and we have him in therapy to correct it. I am also aware of one of his classmates who started it last year, in Kindergarten! I don't know who's telling you that, but I firmly believe THEY ARE WRONG! Good for you for questioning it. Call the Cincinnati Center for Improved Communication, Inc. at ###-###-#### or go to www.ccicinc.com which is the group that works through my son's school.

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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

They do this because they can.

Articulation issues are often not addressed by schools because it is easy to say that they do not adversely effect the academic performance of students who have them. Speech is an educational service, not always a related service to special education, so your daughter does not have to qualify for speical education, but it may be hard to get a resistant district to provide therapy if she is doing well otherwise.

I would suggest that you send a letter to the special education department at your school requesting a speech evaluation because you suspect that she has a disablity. I know that sounds strong, but this is the language that triggers the school districts intervention. Request "Prior Written Notice" of their intent to either perform the evaluation or deny the evaluation, within ten school days. Tell them that you exepect them to tell you what "records, tests, measurments, or evaluations" they used to make their decision regarding their decsion to provide or deny an evaluation. Tell them that you expepct them to provide you a copy of your rights under the Child Find Clause of IDEA and section 504 of the rehabilitation act. Send this certified mail. Any request that you have made verbally never happened at all. Everything you do about speech services from now on should be in writing.

No matter what the school decides to do, you should also make an appointment with a private speech therapist right away. You NEVER want to know less about your child than the school does. It is also possible that her "r's" are not the only issue, and you will want to know this and start therapy right away. It may cost you a little money, but the cold hard fact is that even if the school steps up, they are not required to maximize your child's potential, and this is something that parents always want to do for thier kids. You will only maximize her if you suplement her program with private therapy, even if they give her public services. She is not entitled to what is best for her from the school, she is only entititled to "appropriate" services which will almost always be less than you want for her as her parent.

If the private evaluation shows other issues, send a copy to the school with another letter requesting that they reimburse you for the evaluation (if they deny to do an evaluation of their own) and request a meeting to write a plan to address these issues right away, this should happen within 30 school days.

You may be able to get this evaluation and therapy reimburssed through a medical 125 account if you have one, and you could find that you have some insurance benefits, although this is rare. Find a way to have an evaluation and pay for therapy as early as you can do it. You are right, early is best.

Good luck,
M.

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K.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

I have a son who has had a lot of speech therapy. According to the people we've seen, the "r" sound is one of the last to be perfected and they should "have it" by around age 6. I would talk to your school first. They may evaluate her, but based on my experience, not having an "r" is not serious enough for them to treat. They have many other kids with more severe problems and since the "r" does not prevent the ability to communicate or learn, they refer you to private therapy. Talk to your ped. or children's hospital for a private evaluation and therapy.

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J.C.

answers from Cleveland on

Oh, K.! It IS so frustrating, isn't it? My 7 yo daughter is in the same boat. And the poor thing has an "R" in her first name, her middle name, and her last name! No one can understand her when she tells them her name, so they always call her Joey! (It's Jorie) Even when she spells it for them, they can't understand when she says the letter R.

So, I met with the speech pathologist at school, and she said that the federal and state guidelines put speech therapy in the "special education" bracket. And to receive special education, a child has to be lagging academically because of the problem. (Probably your daughter is not academically behind.) Also, the "r" sound IS the last one they worry about because the muscles aren't there yet, and won't be for another year or so. R is the hardest sound for us to make.

Anyway, the speech pathologist told me to work at home with her, just modeling the R sound, and having her echo it. Play pirate, she said. Keep making the "arrrgh" sound, and let your daughter say it back. Even though she won't get it for a while, it's still helping. And play doggies. Growl - "errrr" at each other. She told me that this is what SHE would be doing with Jorie if Jorie were eligible to have speech therapy. So, might as well start it myself. Also, she said make funny faces in the mirror with each other, making different movements with the tongue and mouth, because this will help strengthen the muscles she needs.

Best of luck - blessings to your little one. Let her know that there are lots of other children in the same boat.

P. S. Oh, also, I told my daughter to start going by her initials - JC - when people ask her name. She can say that easily! : )

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J.B.

answers from Lafayette on

We live near Purdue Univeristy where they have an outstanding speech and hearing dept. My son got therapy there as well as at school. I also see that you live in Indianapolis, so it may be that she could get screened at Crossroads or IUPUI. The schools must test her if you request it, but there may be a waiting list or they may not test as thoroughly. It falls under a communciation disaorder which is one of the categories of special ed. One of the speech grad students might be willing to work with her privately for a reasonable fee too.

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H.D.

answers from Cleveland on

I totally feel your pain. My daughter had the exact same thing. I would bug the school EVERY year & was told the same thing. I'm a teacher & would ask the Speech/Language Pathologists at my school about it too. I always heard the same answer you're getting. She is in 3rd grade this year & has figured out how to fix it herself (my husband & I tried to help at home as best we could, feeling the same way you do). At first she very much over compensated, now she's OK. Hang in there, I know first hand how frustrating it is.

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L.M.

answers from Terre Haute on

If you are certain it is just the r sound, I think you are okay to wait, because some sounds are a later developing skill. My sons (twins) have been in speech since about 2 1/2 and I am constantly hearing about how different sounds are a kindergarten skill, first grade skills, etc. I agree it would not hurt to have her evaluated first, but if you truely cannot get her into speech at this time then I would suggest requesting a meeting with the speech therapist at her school. Ask her for suggestions on how you can help her until she can get into speech (and maybe you can avoid it all together). Ask how to begin working on the sound, what mistakes are okay to make when making the sound, and out right tricks. They often have a hand gesture to use instead of a verbal reminder to use the sound. Where you probably will stop her in the middle of her sentence and make her repeat the word, she would just use this gesture to remind them. Have them suggest words to practice on to start off with. Often what we don't realize that the therapist does is that some sounds are harder than others to blend with an already tough sound for your daughter, and to try to force those sounds can be pretty frustrating for all involved. And often we as parents expect to much to fast. Like when my sons are working on a sound I just assumed that once they could begin a word with the sound then they could use the sound elsewhere in the word. Not so. Does your daughter struggle with the sound at the beginning, middle, or end of the word? Is it every time there is an r in the word, or worse when blended with other sounds (chr, str, pr, etc.). You could ask what blends are harder to say to hold them off until after she masters the easier sounds.Try using a mirror to hold in front of you and have her watch you (where your tongue is, lips are, teeth are) and try to mimick the sound by holding her mouth the same way you did. I completely understand your frustration though. When you see your child needs help with something but get told you cant get it, it is very heartbreaking. We went through a lot before I finally got satisfied with the amount of help my two were getting. They were not saying anything until after they turned 3 and all I could get was once a week for an hour (half hour each) at first. I even tried to get private help, but couldn't afford it and insurance would not help because they didn't have a diagnosis. Good luck and keep strong.

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D.K.

answers from Indianapolis on

I'm with the school on this one. As a former school teacher, I know that it DOES take some kids longer than others. I have one who is almost 8 and has just worked through some of the "V"s in some words. There are still a few things we are working on. Sometimes, the more a parent gets frustrated and tries to "push" things, the more challenging and frustrating it becomes for the child.

Children develop at different levels. Lots of times the cognitive (recognizing and knowing the letter) will be ahead of the physical (audible). I had a niece who stuttered. She outgrew it as her physical caught up with her cognitive. Be pateint and just keep working with her WITHOUT getting overly frustrated.

In the meantime, if it makes you feel better, there are plenty of workbooks you can find to work on spelling, English, etc at that grade level. READ with her and let HER read/take turns w/ pages, etc. as much as you can.

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P.A.

answers from Youngstown on

My son has problems with the "r" sound too. Several other letters have occasional problems. While the speech therapist at school was familiar with his issue, he didn't start therapy until 3rd grade. With the minimal letter problems he had, i doubt he'd have even qualified for services if she hadn't found accompanying issues dealing with following instructions of multiple steps. Each of the letters involve being able to shape the tongue into certain ways. From what she has said, I think the "r" sound is one of the last to come as the tongue muscles complete their ongoing development. I guess they don't want to spend money on therapy for kids who will develop to not have a problem.

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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

I have gotten resistance in the past from schools saying that the teacher or other people in the building do not think the issue is worth screening for ONLY to have them "SUGGEST" the SAME screening a couple months down the road because OO LOOK now the problem is interfering with school. School only does what is going to help them AT SCHOOL, nothing more, and sometimes not even enough to help them at school. My first grader can barely cut due to fine motor issues and they work SOLEY on his writing because he cuts well enough to get his school work done most of the time.
I suggest going to someone outside of school for help. This is a burden on you BUT you will get it taken care of, it will be so they can use it in every day life and at school and most the time it is covered by insurance. I butt heads with the school all the time. My son is in speech, OT and sees a psycologist. I prefer our outpatient people so much more. I have more of a say and they LISTEN!

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R.J.

answers from San Diego on

I was in speech therapy when I was 5-6 (S.Carolina... for R's & L's) & 7-8 (California for redoing my R's... a southern R is an Ah). <laughing> I came out of those 4 years speaking in a reeeeeeally fast southern accent.

My god mother is also a speech pathologist. She's worked with kids age 2-16.

Ditto if you haven't spoken with the school itself, to speak with them.

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C.M.

answers from Fort Wayne on

My son is 8 and has T and Th and S problems. The Indiana schools don't work with them until third grade but I work with him at home. I over say the word in front of him so he is watching how my mouth forms the word and then make him repeat it over and over again. This does help it is tiddious to say the lest and alot of work but it does help.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

If you haven't actually talked with someone at her school, the first step is to do that. Talk with the teacher and if she's not able to give you information, talk with the Intermediate Education District. You'll find it in the phone book under your county's name. The school district is mandated by federal law to provide evaluation and treatment, if it's needed, to be sure that all children are successful in school.

My grandson is getting treatment thru the Multnomah Co. Intermediate Education Service District. Our family is pleased with their help.

It is possible that it's normal to be late in being able to pronounce the "r" sound. It is important, as you've noted, to find out. I'm glad you asked the question.

C.C.

answers from Fresno on

My younger daughter (who is 4) has a speech problem with several sounds, and I asked her pediatrician about it. He said that they don't worry about it until a child is 6, and if it hasn't resolved itself by then, they would certainly refer the child to a speech therapist at that point.

Being that your daughter is 7, I'd think she ought to be referred for evaluation by a speech therapist. The school district should do this for free - you may have to insist upon it though. In this era of budget cuts, they may be wishing and hoping you'll drop the subject. But I think you're right, the longer you wait, the harder it will be to correct.

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K.R.

answers from Athens on

My son , who is eleven , has been in speech therpy since first grade and still does not have the r sound down pat. I was told today that this would be his last year of speech. They don't offer it in middle school. They sugested that I keep working with him myself over the summer and beoynd. I do not know why they would wait so long to do speech. My sugestion is to talk to your childs teacher . If they want to wait , ask for materials that you can use at home , there also might be something on the Web that can help. Nobody says you cant get a head start.

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