Space Cadet Sports Player

Oh man, I remember those days. Quite fondly in fact. They were all so cute, so little, so unserious. Picking dandelions, plucking grass, making piles in the dirt by the base, backs to the game. While some of them are so into the game their minds stay on it most of them "wander" to varying degrees. Watch and see, she isn't the only one. Baseball is a game, it needs to stay that way...

Three times a week? For six-year-olds? This sounds like too much. I don't know any other sport -- and we're in a very sports-intense area -- other than football that has three weekly practices and/or games for kid that age.

You say you played as a kid. I bet you were good at it, or even played into junior high or high school competitively - did you? I wonder this because you seem pretty intense about it -- you find her "embarrassing" as if others' opinion of you somehow depended on how she (not you) performs. You say you "told the coach to ride her" and "I ride her myself." Ride her? She's six and this is for fun and exercise -- isn't it? She's having fun and acting, well, like she's six, and more interested in the other kids than in the details of the sport. If she weren't having fun she would let you know, but if you persist in trying to make her a very serious player, when she wants to go to see her friends, she will quickly burn out and lose any interest in this or any sport. Or she'll go the opposite way: Working so very hard to please you that she might grow to dread softball nights but keep going because it's what you value and expect of her, not what she enjoys. Please don't ride her to that point.

I'd just let her have fun for this season, and then next year ask her to try something different. I see too many kids who are put into one sport at age five or six and never, ever even taste any other kind of activity -- the one thing becomes their self-defining activity even if it's not what they might choose a few years later.

And parents sometimes think kids "should" be in a sport, as you put it, when they really don't. They need physical activity but it does not have to be a sport -- and it doesn't have to be the sport that you yourself did as a kid. She might focus better in another sport, or in dance, or gymastics, or on long walks with you and your family, or just having more playdates at the park since she is a social kid. She might never focus on any sport. If that's her, and she's active and healthy, you're still blessed.

I know it can be frustrating, but relax and stop being embarrassed. The coaches are typically used to it and expect it from at least half of the kids. If the coach and/or team isn't understanding about such common behavior, then it's time to find another team or try a new sport. Some kids are more into it than others, and some are just late bloomers.

My son was practically building sand castles during games and chasing butterflies :) We discovered after a season that baseball was not for him and not engaging enough. He was bored. Soccer...?

She's just 6 and even though she played before many children at 6 cannot focus on a game like softball for the entire time. I think sometimes some kids also start to space out and shut down when they feel a lot of pressure from parents to do well. They want to please us. It's a game and if she says she likes it just let it go and see how the rest of the season is. I would try to back off a bit and let her have fun. She'll "get it" eventually.

Softball can be so boring on the field. You wait so long for the ball to be anywhere close so you can catch it. Then you wait forever for your turn at bat,
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Maybe your daughter needs to be in dance, martial arts,soccer . Some thing where she gets to participate. Almost the whole time. That waiting around does not sound engaging enough for her.

NORMAL!! Relax....she'll be okay. This can happen for years with many, many kids!

I do agree with other moms....3 times a week at age 6 is a lot. & really what is baseball, but just standing waiting for the ball to come to you. It is boring to many younger kids. Wait until she's a soccer goalie & hanging from the net!

I don't think the issue is needing something less structured, but simply needing something a little bit more exciting/entertaining. How about Scouts, dance, or another sport which has more one-on-one contact with other kids?

She's 6. At 6 kids do not have a very long attention span. She might get bonked by a ball, hopefully in a not too bad spot. But if she does maybe she will understand why she needs to focus on the game. If she likes the warm up but shows little interest in the game, maybe find a sport that is more like the warm ups. She may also not be good at team sports. She may do better in tennis, gymnastics, martial arts, swimming or any sport that is more of a solo thing.

I found it a little embarrassing to have kids that acted this way when we sat with the uber serious and competitive sports parents whose kids were clearly way more engaged than mine. Though I really didn't need to feel like that. They are just kids, after all.

We never did softball, but at 6, my kids were still happy running around the soccer field in a low key rec league. Most kids participated, but a good handful only made half-hearted attempts. By ages 8-9, nearly all of the aloof kids were not signing up anymore, and the teams were now kids who were sports-minded, paid attention, and wanted to play. When I noticed my kid was just about the only one left who really wasn't "in to" it at all, acting a lot like your DD, I let her finish the season, but the next spring I TOLD her we weren't going to sign up for soccer any more, because it didn't seem like it was as much fun for her. DD agreed it wasn't her thing. I wanted to pull her out before she started to feel a bunch of pressure and stress that she was not as athletically talented as many of the other kids. Maybe she was relieved we didn't keep pushing her in that direction.

I'd ask her to be honest, does she want to quit, or play the season? She's 6. I wouldn't bring her to something 3 times/week she hated. But if SHE really sees no problem, I say play the season. Next time, look for a different activity.

Wow, your pretty intense! She is only six, I cant imagine what kind of pressure you will on her at 10 (and even then she is still very young!)
This is the age where we teach them team work, listening to the coach, getting some energy out. Not Win the World Series!
I cant imagine sitting next to you during practice, let alone a game.
Please relax and let her enjoy the sport! She may not be as good as you want her to be, but if she enjoys it let her be. And support her!! If she feels that she is never good enough for your standards she may not try her hardest. When she is older and can understand the concept she may WANT to try harder. If harder is her best than so be it. Love her for who she is. That's all we can ask of our kids especially at this age!
Good luck to both of you!