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Sorry to Ask This But, Was Your Vagina Ever the Same After Vag. Birth?

I'm seriously just a few weeks away from my scheduled repeat C-section. My dr. said if I change my mind at any time I can try for the VBAC. I scheduled a C for many reasons, but one reason was that the words of one Dr. struck a cord with me "why ruin a perfectly good vagina?". Of the few woman I'm comfortable asking this question, most say it was never the same down there; from painful sex, to just being looser, to not being able to run without pain, I'm not getting a great picture. I've made a little deal with God that I'll try VBAC it I go into natural labor prior to my scheduled C at 39 weeks. But now my head is spinning, there are more reasons besides ruining my vagina that I'm struggling with this, but for now I just want to know, where you the same down there or different?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

wow, thanks for the responses. I'm more encouraged to try VB AC. I was a little vague, but it was not my OB who said "why ruin a perfectly good vagina". Though when I told my Dr. what I'd heard, she said there's some truth to it, but a Dr. should never say it! My Dr. is Kaiser, they are salaried and not procedure driven. She encouraged me to get the section on the calender because it is quite a coordination factor (requires 3 docs to be present). With summer and vacations and all she encouraged me to just get it on the calender, as she was on vacation on my actual due date. But she assured me it doesn't mean I can't change my mind at any point, just that she likely wouldn't be there to deliver. Thanks again.

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After 3 kids: 8 pounds 12 oz, 10 pounds 4oz with a compound nuchal hand, and 8 pounds 6 oz, I am actually tighter after each birth.

Here's the catch: no epidual. I never pushed harder than I felt was comfortable and since I could feel everything, I would just stop pushing if things got too intense....and therefore I never tore....not to mention, I never birthed on my back - all home waterbirths.

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My vagina is exactly the same as it was prebirth. Neither tore, nor had an episiotomy... so that may make a difference. Took a few months (to not pee while sneezing kind of thing)

My stomach on the other hand...

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My first was a vaginal delivery , I tore from one end to the other It was a very long recovery. No I have never gone back to the same. My second was an attempt at a vaginal delivery and ended in an emergency c section when my son got stuck. I was up and walking to the NICU every two hrs that night. Recovery was 10 times faster than the first. With the first I couldn't walk.

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Okay, I know you are nervous and this is a legitimate concern but...OMG!!! "Why ruin a perfectly good vagina?" - that is the most asinine thing I have ever heard. Get a new doctor! Your vagina is 'built' to give birth. Mine went back to normal, in fact, I even had an extra long episiotomy. My husband has said it may even be better!

I have never heard of not being able to run without pain, but that is not to say it doesn't happen. I think being looser is a myth, for the most part - once a guy sees it stretched out I think he gets it in his head it is automatically looser.

You could say the same thing about your stomach. Why have a C-section and ruin a perfectly good stomach? Talk about something that will most likely never go back to the way it was. Or you could even say, why get pregnant and ruin a perfectly good stomach & hips & boobs & skin - the list could go on!

Women wouldn't keep getting pregnant if it was ruined - from both points of view, the man's or the woman's.

I was also worried about this same thing and I talked it over with my husband. He told me not to worry at all. This was a natural part of life and he loved me NO MATTER WHAT. Plus, he's the one that got me that way!!!!

Go right now to your doctor and punch him in the face! :)~

Then relax, give birth and enjoy your new baby. Congratulations!

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I am all for women having the ability to make educated choices about their own medical care...but it disgusts me to hear that a doctor would say such a thing. It diminishes the very possible risks associated with abdominal surgery. Yes, childbirth itself has risks, but there is little that man can actually consistently do better than nature. Not making any comment on your C-section, of course...I don't know you or your medical history...but I find the comment horrifying all the same.

I like to think of it as a new model. Like I got something new and I need to figure out how it works. Its not EXACTLY the same...but it isn't necessarily a bad thing.

There are no guarantees in life. Your vagina can change with age and hormones and weight gain. It was made for bringing a baby into the world...therefore it becomes what it should be.

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Well, every woman is different. I don't think that either nursing nor vaginal birth have done any damage to my body. Maybe I am just lucky, maybe it's genetics, maybe I just don't care enough about appearances? I don't know.
I had a vaginal birth with my daughter almost 3 years ago. I had a small labial tear, that left a little scar (which personally I think is pretty cool) but other than that my V is still the same. I still use regular tampons (NO they are not falling out:)) and I did ask my husband, who said he didn't notice an difference after the first 6 months or so (it did take some time to go back to it's old shape).
My boobs aren't deflated balloons and the rest of my body is ONLY out of shape for lack of exercise and too much sugar (I have a sweet tooth).
I personally count the birth of my daughter as probably the most awesome, inspiring experience I have ever had and I would choose to do it again any day!
Whatever you decide... good luck.

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Do you know how much your Dr. makes on a C-Section vs a VBAC?
The person to ask about changes after vaginal birth are your mom, or grandma if she's accessible (sometimes grandmothers can be more honest about the sex stuff - they didn't give birth to you)

I've had 4, all vag and I have been told repeatedly how lucky I am by my OBGYN. He's a funny guy, always joking about how I keep him in business, calls me the Kegel Queen!

I do have friends with some unhappy after birth symptoms, one of my friends who has 3 kiddos nearly wets herself if you get her laughing hard enough. But her mom had the same issue so it really comes down to your genes.

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Ack! No offense, but that doctor must have been nothing short of an idiot! What a horrible thing to say when child birth is exactly what the vagina was designed for...and because that is what it's designed for, yes, it all goes back the way it is supposed to be. And just to let you know, I had a C-section with my first and VBAC with my second. Vaginal birth is definitely the way to go! Recovery is sooooo much easier and you can jump right into enjoying your new little one without the pain or meds. Good luck and congratulations!

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I was never terribly close friends with my vagina, but aside from the obvious recovery, we managed to wait 4 1/2 weeks to resume intercourse after my first vaginal delivery and I think closer to 5 weeks after my second. I've read that the vagina is elastic and does resume its general shape. I think the opening is a little different, but again I never paid close personal attention to those details--my husband does that for me. :) Things are still tight when they should be, we have a wonderful sex life, I run (my BELLY is still loose, even if there is plenty of muscle underneath) and I cannot imagine an elective c-section. No offense to moms who choose that, but vaginal recovery is generally a lot easier than a surgery. So yes, maybe a bit different, but I have not noticed that it has affected anything because of that. However you deliver, I hope everything goes smoothly! :)

(And I agree with other comments that your doctor's comments were awful! So sorry you had to hear that from someone--vaginas have two purposes, and childbirth is the natural result of the first one.)

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This is a good question because I was worried about it, too, before my first baby. I took longer than the usual 6 weeks to heal, because I had 3rd-degree tearing when my son was born, but eventually, I was as good as new. There was no long-term damage at all. Sex isn't painful now, I certainly don't think I was any looser (but if I was, there are exercises to fix that), and running and walking wasn't painful at all. I have spoken to several of my friends about this issue, and NONE of them had the long-term effects you describe. And if it didn't happen to me, after my severe tearing, I can't imagine it happening to most women. Perhaps your friends need to get new doctors? Because it sounds like the ones they've had weren't very good...

On just a side note, "why ruin a perfectly good vagina" is a very strange thing for a doctor to say. First of all, that is the purpose of a perfectly good vagina - to give birth. It can handle it. Really. Secondly, a C-section is actually much riskier than a vaginal birth - which is one reason why the U.S. has one of the worst maternal mortality rates in the first world, much worse than all of the Scandinavian countries and much of Europe. A good, well-informed doctor would know this. Sometimes, C-sections are unavoidable because of risk to mother and baby, and they are a necessary and useful technology, but "why ruin a perfectly good vagina" doesn't seem like a reason that makes it worth the risk!

There are risks to VBACs as well, of course. You need to inform yourself about your options, and you might want to talk to someone (your current doctor may be a good starting-point) about ALL the risks of EACH of your options. At least make sure that whatever decision you make, it is educated. Good luck.

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You're doctor sounds like a jerk. My recovery from vaginal childbirth was quick and complete. In fact, at my 6-week checkup my midwife said she couldn't even tell I'd had a child. Just disregard his comment and make your decision based on your medical history and your gut feeling.

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I have never noticed much of a difference. Sure maybe a slight relaxation compared to before, but that's not a bad thing if you ask me. Personally, it has actually made my orgasms better and I think it's made sex better because there's a teeny bit more room for maneuvering and hitting different angles.

BTW, I had 2 vaginal births. The first was very traumatic. My oldest son had an abnormally large head! I ended up with 45 stitches in my area down there. I didn't have sex again for several months and it did hurt a little bit at first until the scar tissue got softened by a little more time and "use". You just have to jump back in and work through it. It's really not much different than losing your virginity in the first place.

My second birth was a breeze because the doc was doing perineal massage which is uncomfortable but worth it. Ask your doc about this for during delivery. I suffered only a small abraision which was healed in a couple of days. My hubby and I were back in the saddle about 4 weeks later.

I would have to say that a vaginal birth doesn't "ruin a perfectly good vagina"! The vagina recovers. It's elastic and sturdy and built for giving birth. Like I said, I experienced a small amount of relaxation, but nothing major and it did actually make sex more comfortable.

Also, if you do deliver vaginally, don't forget your kegels to restrengthen and tone your muscles down there.

Hope everything works out for you.

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My daughter was almost 8.5 lbs and my vagina is the same as it was before pregnancy. This is according to my husband, and it doesn't feel any different to me, either. I was able to have sex a few weeks after I gave birth, although I didn't really want to for about 2 months. But I imagine that is the case of many parents of newborns ;)

What your doctor said to you was not only disgusting, but also unethical. I would be searching for a new doc, STAT.

In the case of a normal pregnancy and labor, C-sections are actually more dangerous for mother and baby, and should only happen in the case of a *true* emergency. This is major surgery we are talking about here, versus what our bodies are designed to do.

I would suggest you take a Bradley Birth class,and/or read some books on pregnancy and childbirth. Learn about how beautiful the whole process truly is, and educate yourself about your body so you do not fall prey to sick comments like the one made by your doctor.

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Actually, I'm opposed to having a C-section for a similar reason. I was told that repeatedly cutting into your abdominal cavity may cause scar tissue, nerve damage, blood flow re-routing, and possible interference with hormones that influence your sex drive. Best not to get "gutted" if you can avoid it.

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Good grief! What kind of Doctor says such a thing??!

I think it depends on the birth to be honest. With my first child I had some tearing, not serious, but needed two or three stitches... However, the midwife took it upon herself to add an "extra" stitch which apparently most women (and men) appreciate. I had a lot of trouble with intercourse for many many months because of this. After he birth of my son though, I again had minor tearing and everything was back to normal.

I would never trade my vaginal births for anything. I felt empowered by the birth of both of my kids and definitely think that the recovery time is less than that of a c-section.

Pardon me for saying so, but your Dr sounds like a pig.

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I'm not going to deny that vaginal birth isn't without possible injury or complications, but neither is a C-section. And I am beyond disgusted and appalled that a doctor would even utter such nonsense as "why ruin a perfectly good vagina"!

I have had 3 babies, all vaginally...6 lbs 13 oz, 7 lbs 4 oz, and most recently 8 lbs 5 oz. I was up walking around, taking care of myself and my newborn within 1 -2 hours after giving birth. And my hubby says my vagina still feels the same to him as it did before I got pregnant the first time. And I personally don't feel it's any different either.

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I delivered two 10 pound babies and I'm still the same according to my husband. Whatever doctor said that should not be an OB! Go for it if you want to try it. It's so much healthier for the baby to pass thru the birth canal!

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My vagina is exactly the same as it was prebirth. Neither tore, nor had an episiotomy... so that may make a difference. Took a few months (to not pee while sneezing kind of thing)

My stomach on the other hand...

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H.,

I guess if I had never given birth vaginally I might have had the same question. My first child was delivered c section. My final 3 were vaginal. I don't even know what kind of vagina I had 17 years ago and frankly don;t worry. I have a husband that is 11 years younger than me and we have one adorable bundle of joy together. :) We have a very active sex life and he loves making love to me. Have a long conversation with him. He is the one that matters and he will love you no matter what. Having several vaginal births was a blessing to me and my last was completely natural bringing tears to my eyes in more ways than one :) haha! Seriously, go for it!!! we are elastic down there and if you are in realtively good shape you will be fine. Genetics apply also so talk to you mom. i have no problem with any of the issues you mentions and feel great when having intercourse. I have zero problems and never have...

J.

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My first was a vaginal delivery , I tore from one end to the other It was a very long recovery. No I have never gone back to the same. My second was an attempt at a vaginal delivery and ended in an emergency c section when my son got stuck. I was up and walking to the NICU every two hrs that night. Recovery was 10 times faster than the first. With the first I couldn't walk.

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I delivered my older daughter naturally and only needed 1 stitch from her even though she was 8.12 lb...Went totally back to normal. Then I delivered my older twin naturally and required nothing from her. I will say this--I healed much faster in the vaginal area from my older twin than I did from my section with the younger one. No offense, but your dr. is an idiot and must get some extra compensation for the number of sections they perform.

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I'm guessing that the dr who said this is a man. Even educated, professional men tend to feel that a vagina's only purpose is intercourse. Remember, too, that doctors are terrified of lawsuits, and view C sections as a way to "prove" to parents that they took every precaution to avoid birth injuries.

Saying that giving birth will "ruin" your vagina is like saying that you will ruin your teeth by chewing with them, or you'll ruin your bowels by going to the bathroom. Your organs were designed for specific purposes, and childbirth is one of them. Don't let anyone make you feel as if you're not capable of giving birth on your own! The medical professionals are there to help, not to take over.

I've had both a vaginal birth and C section, and given any opportunity I'd go natural again. Sometimes, it can't be safely done, and that's why the hospital staff is there, but sometimes it can be. Do not feel that you HAVE to do anything to have a successful birth.

Yes, short term you'll feel more tender and stretched out. Long term, everything will return to normal. Think about your uterus - it shrinks back after every pregnancy. Putting scar tissue on it through surgery actually makes it larger and less flexible than it would be otherwise. (I can run my hand over mine and feel the ridge of scar tissue, whereas after my vaginal delivery everything went back to "normal.") Your breasts will go back, too. Your body will never exactly the same as it was before kids, but that's OK!

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After 3 kids: 8 pounds 12 oz, 10 pounds 4oz with a compound nuchal hand, and 8 pounds 6 oz, I am actually tighter after each birth.

Here's the catch: no epidual. I never pushed harder than I felt was comfortable and since I could feel everything, I would just stop pushing if things got too intense....and therefore I never tore....not to mention, I never birthed on my back - all home waterbirths.

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i have to say, no offense, but whatever doctor who said that(and if its your current doctor, i would report him or something and find a new one) should be stripped of his medical license. in other words, lets not have any woman have a vaginal birth and lets make more money by scaring all women into surgery- which has way more risks than a vaginal birth.

we are equipped by God, Mother Nature, evolution, whatever you believe in, with the proper equipment to reproduce and give birth. our bodies are made to have more than one child in our lifetime. in his reasoning, he is saying that once we have a child, our body will no longer be in the original condition to repeat the process again. if women were so dramatically "damaged" by giving birth vaginally, they would never contemplate doing it again. and furthermore, if they werent adequate, their husbands surely wouldnt want another child as most fathers do.

now im not saying that women who have had a NEEDED first c section should do VBAC. that is your choice based on the risks of a VBAC. but if your vagina was your only concern, that should not be the reason not to try. if you experience pain during sex, that is not normal and you should see a doctor. most likely, it may be related to not enough lubrication, which is more indicative of hormones, not what type of birth you have. as for being looser, your vagina stretches for sex and for babies. it doesnt suddenly get enlarged and thats it. and for the running without pain, i have never heard that my entire life, there is absolutely no pain regarding your vagina. i would highly suggest the woman or women you have spoken to go consult their doctors about these problems as they are not normal. although there are always exceptions, unless you have SEVERE tearing, which is rare, there should be no permanent changes that impact your quality of life or your sex life after you heal in regards to your vagina from an average birth.

again, if women had all these issues, they would never have more kids. decide based on your medical issues, not a horrible doctors statement. good luck.

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If you are now considering a VBAC there are a few websites you should check out...

www.vbacfacts.com
www.ican-online.com
www.childbirthconnection.org

Also, you need to know that the chances of your body going into spontaneous labor before 39 weeks is very, very slim. That is why doctors schedule them that early. They don't want their c-section patients going into labor on their own. If you truly wish to try for a VBAC I would cancel the c-section and allow nature to take it's course. If, once you are in labor, something doesn't feel right then you can have them do the c-section then. I do want to add that my first was born via c-section and I have had to VBAC's since then (one to delivery my stillborn angel and the second to deliver my amazing 8 month old DS) and I would choose the VBAC any day. I had what most would consider a very easy c-section recovery but it still pales on comparison to the super easy recovery I had after my vaginal birth. I even had an almost 4th degree tear with my first VBAC and I was feeling just fine within a week!

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Hi H.. First of, congratulations on your pregnancy and upcoming new baby! It truly is a blessing and a miracle. I come from a world of natural childbirth beliefs. I've had midwives for both my girls, the 2nd of which was a water birth at home. I'm a certified childbirth instructor and a part-time doula (labor coach). The quote of that doctor, "why ruin a perfectly good vagina", was actually a source of ridicule in my circle. It was just an irresponsible thing to say, a misinformation that really doesn't take into account the health of both mom and baby. Yes, after giving birth multiple times, you can expect some changes, but only if you don't do your homework. Kegel exercises are key to a healthy vagina, no matter what type of birth you have. I just ran a marathon, no pain, no problem. Sex is the same if not better. It really is up to you to take care of it and make sure that it's healthy for your own sake. C-section is not the answer. Not only is this more risky and unhealthy for you, but also for your baby, both short and long term. If I had to choose between my vagina and the health of my baby, my baby's well-being wins hands down. There are reasons why God made our bodies so that the baby is birthed through the birth canal and vagina. I commend you for considering the VBAC route, as most medical doctors would push for a second C-section. C-sections are faster, easier for them, more money for doctor, hospital, and pharmaceutical companies (due to drugs administered). But, is it the best care they can give for the mother and the baby? Absolutely not. I advise not missing out on this experience. You will feel empowered. Good luck.

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You should take a look at Ina May Gaskin's book - "Guide to Childbirth."
It will definitely help you rid your mind of that horrible comment.

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Definitly different. I wish I had heard what you heard - then I would of had a C-section the first time. My first child I pushed for 2 hours and nothing. The doc suggested a C-section and I wanted to do it normal so they got out the vacuum. It has never been the same down there. It looks different to me and hurt during sex for a long time. My 2nd child I had a C-section.
If I were you, I would just do the C-section. You've already had one and why go thru all the pain. I don't think God cares which way you bring another little angel into the world. :)

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Is this Doctor male or female? If female, has she ever given birth vaginally? I had three babies the "normal" way, and one miscarriage. I certainly never noticed that anything was wrong with my vagina! Doesn't this Doctor realize that the female body was formed to have children through that means? This sounds so silly I can't believe it. I'm sure there are people who have problems, but did birth cause them? And what about the people who have later problems with C-sections. My daughter did. Any procedure is going to have a percentage of people with problems, but if you believe in God, you must surely understand that the female body was created to have children through the vagina, not through an incision in the abdomen,

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First of all, I think your doc. is a creepy guy. He shouldn't see you vagina that way. Second, I do agree with the other moms, if any change is very small, and it can be fix. The only real change I notice was my episiotomy. I think in that area it all depends in how you scar normally, there is people that their scars become red and raised (Hypertrophy), you should now by now if you suffer from this by see any of your old scars.
No all woman need an Episiotomy, and some do but very small.
I had a VBAC, and I couldn't be any happier, I recommend you the movie The Business to be Born.
Good luck.

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This is a website I was directed to when I wanted the same type of information.

http://www.ican-online.org/

ICAN supports mothers who do not want to be forced into unnecessary surgery. Vaginal birth is the normal biological consequence of pregnancy, whether or not the mother has a prior cesarean. You deserve complete information about the risks of vaginal birth and elective cesarean so that you can make the healthiest choice possible for you and your baby. We’re not here to make your choices for you. We’re here to make sure that you understand that you HAVE the choice. After all, it is still your body and your baby. Please browse the studies and articles at the left of the page to educate yourself. Who else is better qualified to weigh the research and evidence and determine it’s importance in your life?

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The same after 3, as far as I know.

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Weird doctor! And wrong at that.... i have had 4 vaginal deliveries. It has not changed a bit. Everyone is different i guess.

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I was the same. I have had two c-sections, and two vaginal births, I was size 8-10 before and after birth. The recovery time is much easier with vaginal births. I used to think like you that c-section was the best way, and now I know that isn't true. What helps shrink the vagina, and stomach is breast feeding. It's awsome for baby and momma.

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Okay, so the doctor was a jerk, I agree.

BUT, I do want to say that things can be different. Sex was painful for me from the birth of my daughter until the birth of my son, when my original "repair" was retorn and fixed again. But now I'm back to normal. I did have a medical resident stitching me up the first time, and asked that my OB do it the second time, and I think that it made a world of difference.

As for what my husband thinks, he's had the good sense to keep his opinion to himself : ) But I think it's just fine.

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don't know why your doctor told you that. i had a vaginal birth and let my boyfriend tell it you can't tell i had a baby and it felt better after i had the baby! You vagina is made to strech way beyond our own imaginations. shame on DOC!

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My female OB said that when you have a baby that's 8+ pounds it is very common to never be the same down there.

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God intended for us to deliver naturally and yes, it's the same afterwards. I delivered my first child at age 24 naturally and my second at age 42 also naturally and it's still the same!! Maybe even better....good luck whatever you decide.

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Jeeze, where is that guy practicing...out of his garage?? I'm glad he is not your doctor! Mine slowly went back to normal after my first and is still going back to normal after my second (4 months). It's kind of a bummer for a while but your kids will remind you every second of the day that it's sooooo worth it.
Now what is this doctor's name so we can all wish terrible things upon him? =)

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Well, I had 2 c-sections. My first however, I labored all the way to 10 cm. and a plus 2 station--head in the birth canal. I was fine afterward. My next pregnancy went 42 weeks, 9 1/2 lb. baby. I never even hinted to going into labor, not even dilated. That pregnancy wrecked my pelvic floor. My bladder and bladder anchoring ligaments and muscles are ruined. So, honey a vaginal birth is just the least of your worries. My mom had vaginal births as did my grandma, and they both have similar pelvic floor issues. So seems to me how well you fare after pregnancy and delivery is directly linked to genetics. How I wish I could have had a VBAC...

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thats so offensive of your doctor to say......yuck. I had two vaginal births and it is a recovery process, but you will recover,. i pretty much got wrecked with my second and i had to do some kegals to stop from peeing while wiping. But we are all back to normal now. just,,,,,,ick about your doctor though

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The words of that one doctor make him sound like quite the unprofessional jerk. He's probably seen some damage that did permanently change the birth mother's vagina, but I can say from conversations with a number of lady friends over the years that most of us do, indeed, get the pre-birth muscle tone back. There may be a new scar, there may be pelvic floor issues or other internal damage, there may even be cumulative injuries from multiple births that gradually change the vagina. But for most of us, it goes back to being pretty much the same as it was.

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I had issues, but once I healed up my vag is the same as ever after 1 vaginal birth.

Some of the responses were really funny to read! I've only had one baby (so far!) but down south feels just the same as before!!! I tore during birth and ended up with quite a few stitches. Just give your body some time to heal afterwards. One of my girlfriends tore a stitch (or two!) and had to be re-stitched a few weeks after birth. Now she's afraid to have a second vag. delivery because she's afraid she ruin her "perfectly good vagina"!!! She said it's even better than before her son was born- and both her and her husband enjoy that! Lol!

I've only gave birth vaginally once and after healing completely I didn't notice any change in my vagina. Sex was not painful and I am still definitely very tight down there. That could be the fact that I only have one vaginal delivery thus far. We are planning on having another baby soon and am planning on another vaginally delivery. I guess I will be posting a question later if things will be different down there after multiple deliveries.

I think it also depends on the person whether your vagina will be the same after vaginal birth.

As an labor and delivery nurse of more years that I care to admit (and the mother of three), and I know that it's hip and cool to think that the medical industry overmedicalizes childbirth, but most women who have a non-cesarean birth will find a slight increase in roominess post-partum. If you were relatively small before conception, that could be good. However, if you consider yourself and your partner to be a good fit, you will probably notice things are a bit more roomy post-partum. Now that is not to say that things are bad or not enjoyable, just looser. Kegels can help, but will probably never give you back the tightness you had before. It's something that most doctors won't tell you or will downplay, but it is something that you really don't want to be surprised with (like I was or many of the post-partum women I've talked to months, if not years down the road).

Well... At first I felt different, and I had asked this same question of my sister..She told told me that if I wanted to "get back in shape" I could do a very simple thing. She told me to clench my muscles like I was trying to hold it (like when you have to pee). Do that for 20 seconds, and then relax. Do this during your day, and your muscles will build back up. I'm not saying the results are instant, but if you do this, it will help. Not to be vulgar, but it helps with sex too!! I wish you good luck!

Hi H.,

It sounds to me that your doctor just wants to get paid more, or maybe he doesn't like women very much. That is seriously wrong to say to a woman.

I'm sorry that the few women you've talked to have made giving birth the way our bodies are actually made to, sound so dismal. In all honesty, giving birth helped me because I was always so tight. Intercourse felt better to me afterwards. My husband did like the pre-birth feel, but these are his children, and I shouldn't have to bear all the negative consequences of having children. I'm glad that intercourse is more comfortable for me. I'm also glad that my uterus didn't have to be opened up. Of course, if I had had to go through a C-section, I would have. But I got lucky.

Please don't believe that having a baby "ruins" a vagina. That's just such a wrong way to look at it. And it's not your fault that you think this - the doctor put this negative view in your head. It's a shame that your friend hurts when she runs, but maybe that's not because of her vagina - it could be because her uterus is tilted after pregnancy. That happened to my sister, and though she doesn't run, she does have pain with intercourse, and the tilted uterus is the reason. Your friends just don't actually know that they are not the same because of the baby coming through the birth canal.

Good luck with your decision and enjoy the baby.
D.

I remember when I was pregnant I was terribly worried that my boyfriend wouldn't think I felt the same. He assured me he would and yet it still didn't put my mind at ease. LOL. Within 2 full months of the baby being born (even though we didn't wait that long to have sex), he said I was back to normal, and it felt normal to me. I think the only side effect I had was a little dryness which eventually went away as well (and I also think that can happen with just pregnancy and it doesn't matter how you deliver). I hope you figure out whats best for you! Good Luck. =)

I have had two c-sections...11 yrs apart. If I could have, I would not have opted for a vaginal birth; something about that just scares me:-). However, after the first c-section, I noticed a difference in mine anyway. I still have not been able to return to using tampons comfortably. It has been almost 17 yrs since the birth of my first child. There have been other differences after the second child also. I won't air those in this public forum though:-)!

Although I have never had a vaginal birth, I just wanted to tell you that I am in the same boat as you - I also have a repeat c-section scheduled for August 11, (at 38 1/2 weeks.)
I actually had a wonderful planned c-section experience the first time, 3 years ago (my daughter was in a "transverse lie" position, due to me having a uterine anomaly - a T-shaped uterus) so there is no other way my babies can "fit" inside of me! - My second child, a boy, is now currently lying in this same sideways "transverse" position as well, hence my second c-section is already scheduled.)
SO - If you also had a good c-section experience the first time around, why not do it again? There are many advantages: as in no vaginal stretching, much less of chance of incontinence problems (pelvic floor dropping) etc. as you age, not to mention there is never a worry about a huge tear or episiotomy having to be performed. Plus, look on the bright side - you already know "what to expect" with a c-section... There are many reasons why c-sections are not a "horrible" thing as most people tend to think.
ADDITIONAL NOTE: I cringed when I read in a pregnancy book that it doesn't actually matter how MANY babies you deliver vaginally, it's the very FIRST one that creates the "looseness" and will stretch your vagina out. And you can not "go back" to your original pre-pregnancy vaginal health ever again... Good Luck with the birth, either way it ends up!

Wow, what a thing to say. I'm going to take a wild guess and say this was a male doctor, no?? Anyway, had a vaginal delivery (without drugs!) and everything went back to normal. My two SIL's, however, both had two C-sections each and BOTH had terrible issues after the 2nd. If you've found a doc who is willing to do the VBAC, that is probably the route I would take. You CAN do it!!

I'm probably in the minority here but mine is definitely not the same and I would give anything to go back and have a C-Section. My son was not moving down so they used a vacuum to get him out and that thing tore me apart. I still have pain 8 years later from scar tissue - and it was the OB who stitched me up - not a resident. I chose to have only one child for many reasons but if I did it again, I would beg for a C-Section. You're not missing anything.

First of all, that doctor needs a lesson is prefessionalism, to say the least. I have had 2 vaginal births and, no, mine is not the same. After my first son, it was a tiny bit looser which was actually better for me. After my second son, an almost 10 lbs. baby, it didn't change much except for some scars from delivery. I can understand your fears, but having a c-section just to have a vagina that looks and feels the same is not a good idea. C-sections should only be used when there is no other option, in my opinion. It seems women are more concerned about how their bodies look than men do. Do what is best for your own health and that of your unborn child's. Good luck!

This post infuriates me- what the heck is this doctor thinking saying something like this??? Everything is fine down there. The more I hear about doctor's scheduling inductions and c-sections it becomes more apparent that they are not doing this for the Mother... and the line of "ruining a vagina" is the lowest of the low reasons to convince a woman to go through a c-section.

My vag birth friends all pee their pants when they run, sneeze, and at girl's weekend (because we are all laughing so hard). So that seems to be a potential difference tho not about your vagina specifically.

And a smart man (or a good man) will tell you it feels the same.

no nothing you hear is always true, do what you feel comfortable with, dont let anyone tell you other wise. besides some doctors want to schedule a c-sec because it makes them more money because they do most of the work, and vaginal birth is the mommy doing the job they are just there to help!! you get the idea? so do what you feel is right. and if you do, do some keggle exercises, everyday for maybe 5 minutes!!! or less. GOOD LUCK AND CONGRADS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wanted a c-section but ended up forced into a v-birth. I ended up w/extreme vaginal numbness & really loose vaginal walls. I tried so many keigals but nothing has helped. So I dunno if I'm just so loose that I can't feel anything or if I'm really numb from being sliced from the baby monitor they shoved up in my vagina. I also suffered a nice rip from vagina to anal area so I had that to deal w/as well. Whatever you decided is up to you. Every body is different & I'm glad the ladies who've posted saying they had no changes are happy w/their decision but I am definitly not. Good luck!

I was personally better after. I always had some pain with intercourse before and after I was much better!! So, for me I prefer my post baby vajayjay!! So you just never know. I have never heard of anyone having chronic pain post baby, I think that is not the norm. I have delivered both my kids vaginally so I don't personally know about the difference in recovery , but everyone I know who has had both says that recovery from a c-section is so much harder than vaginal birth. As far as what that dr said, our girlie bits were made to do the incredible task of pushing out babies, I don't think it is ruining them at all, its amazing!!! Good luck and have a great delivery either way!

Hi sweety, It will be different and looser. Other than that I had no other complications. You have to make the choice your comfortable with. I am still orgasmic but its been 13 years from my last birth so its shrank alot since then. Good luck

Your poor friends! One thing I tell *all* my first time mommy friends is that the vagina *will* go back to normal. I had my first kid at 22 and my second at 37, and both times things were fine. I'm four weeks away from baby number 3 and my vagina isn't even on the radar of things to worry about. It *will* go back to normal!
Don't forget, though, Kegels are your friend... regardless of how you deliver. My grandma and mom both have had urinary issues and incontinence. I am positive Mom has never done Kegels... can't ask Grandma because she passed a few years ago.

My husband has told me I feel the same. And I certainly don't feel "looser". Of course, I don't truly care what things look like down there lol.

For me personally, it took me 6 month before I could try to have sex, and it took 14 months before it felt "right" again. I was very sensitive, very dry, and had no libido whatsoever -- however, I'm an older mom (birth at almost 38), so that might play into it. I also breastfed exclusively before table foods, and continued breastfeeding until almost 20 months. I truly feel that the hormones involved in nursing affected my libido and moisture. Things improved dramatically when we were finished - though I don't regret nursing either. I mention this not to scare you but because no one ever told me about it, and I felt weird (and quite alone) going through it -- so just know that it won't last forever and things will go back to normal.

I was, and continue to be more scared of having a surgery than of birth.

Best of luck to you.

Updated

My husband has told me I feel the same. And I certainly don't feel "looser". Of course, I don't truly care what things look like down there lol.

For me personally, it took me 6 month before I could try to have sex, and it took 14 months before it felt "right" again. I was very sensitive, very dry, and had no libido whatsoever -- however, I'm an older mom (birth at almost 38), so that might play into it. I also breastfed exclusively before table foods, and continued breastfeeding until almost 20 months. I truly feel that the hormones involved in nursing affected my libido and moisture. Things improved dramatically when we were finished - though I don't regret nursing either. I mention this not to scare you but because no one ever told me about it, and I felt weird (and quite alone) going through it -- so just know that it won't last forever and things will go back to normal.

I was, and continue to be more scared of having a surgery than of birth.

Best of luck to you.

There are risks with every labor and delivery. The only person I know who had a problem with painful sex after delivery had a c-section. So, go figure. It does take many people months to feel comfortable and have enjoyable sex again, but this can also happen with a c-section too. I'm with everyone else- this doctor doesn't know what he/she is talking about. Vaginas are designed to give birth. At least get a second opinion from a different OB in a different office. And enjoy your baby!

I was really surprised to hear a doctor say that. A vaginal birth should always be done before a c-section if possible. I had two vag births and my va-jay-jay : ) is back to normal.

I cannot believe you are still with this doctor?! That is such poor advice. There are too many doctors like yours, which is the reason that our country has the highest c-section rate!

I've had two kids so far, first one vaginal, second one c-section. Having experienced both- I say go for the vaginal if you can. It was way easier to recover from and felt less "gross" overall to me. If I have a third I am definitely going VBAC. The vaginal birth was much less stressful on my body and easier to bounce back from. Amount of bleeding after the birth was the same... actually possibly more after the c-section because none of it came out with the birth.

Also, my stomach went back to normal more quickly after the vaginal birth. But maybe that's second pregnancy syndrome, not c-section related.

Oh, and my husband has never complained... as far as the "ruining a good vagina" comment. Seriously, a doctor said that to you? How inappropriate!!!!!

yes.. it all goes back to the same.

I was up and walking 2 hous after my 8 pound son was born.. ank IU was ready to go home..recovery is a breeze.,

Sounds like your doctor wants more of a "schedule" than to have to wait around a few hours for a delivery...

My husband says I'm better now. He even told the doc to "put an extra stitch" after my third was born. lol! ;)

Healing was much easier than my friends who had C-sections. And, no scars.

You have lots of responses, but what is one more right?
I have 2 kids born 16 months apart... both were vaginal....
I was very tight before the kids and I was SO worried it would change. My husband would always make comments about a loose va-jay-jay and how it would suck...
But I never had a reason for a c-section so I just went with what God intended. I have to say I am a tight as ever after 2 births so close to each other! We still have to use lube...
I will say we got back on the horse with both kids around the 8-10 week mark and at first it was a bit looser, but seriously within 2 months or so it was right back to normal. My husband actually liked it a bit better post baby than when I was all healed up. LOL
I of course didn't tear with either girl... I think I had one stitch with our first and zero with the 2nd and they weren't small babies. I just had a great doc that really massaged that area and let it stretch a bit before the final push! I credit her tons with how wonderful that area remained :)

Good luck and no worries!

I have had one baby and it was a vaginal birth. I didnt rip from the vagina to the anal i ripped (sorry to say) up words into my clit. They put stitches in it and the only thing i have to say about ripping that way is its a little bit sensitive when you touch it to hard. So other than that my vagina went back to the same size and my husband still has to use lub when we have sex. I think its a wonderful experience to give birth that way and wouldnt change it for nothing. If it was me i would go vaginal in a heart beat.

no, it is never the same. it's all streched out, it leaks. But, that is what it's for-for babies to exit. There are some serious risks w/ VBAC. I'd be more worried about that than my vagina.

I have had 2 vaginal births with no problems whatsoever. I have also had abdominal surgeries (not c-sections) that have left a lot of scar tissue and continual problems. So for me surgery was the thing that left lasting damage. Vaginal birth is normal, surgery is not. Personally, surgery would be a last resort, not a first choice.

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