Son Won't Sleep! - Seneca Falls,NY

My son did the same thing. We just got threw that stage. I'm not sure if you tried this but I just leave the light on all night. Not a night light, a regular light. I've tried turning it off in the middle of the night but he always seems to wake up and cry, so I keep it on all night.
K.

H. I feel fo you! My daughter was similar with her stubborn behavior.

She will be 6 soon and she is still high maintainence - but the crazy nighttime stuff did stop.

What eventually worked for her was a strict routine that never wavered. Not just your run of the mill bath, story, bed routine, but much more involved. For instance daddy would read a story to her - the same story every night for months. Then I came in and read her a different story - for months. Then we would turn out the light and cuddle. I'd ask about her day, what was her favorite, what was her least favorite, then we'd tell silly jokes, cuddle for 5 more minutes, kiss the magic bunny (he kept bad dreams away & kisses gave him power), another hug, another kiss, then as I walked out we give the sign for I love you, door left open, God bless, sweet dreams . . . EVERY NIGHT!

She needed to have this same exact routine every night. Yeah she would pop out of bed 2 or 3 times (and still does) after being tucked in, but she knew that after the 3rd visit mommy would get upset and she would go to bed and stay.

Kids love predictability and limits. Try giving a 30 minute quality routine but do not linger too long. This may take a while but it is crucial.

Just know that you are not alone and you are doing a great job as a mom!

A.

OMG, I feel for you! I have been there with our 3yo (almost 4) DD. It was a phase back in the summer, when she was 3.5 and we tried a few different things to help her.

Could you try telling him that you or daddy has a new magical wand (ad lib here if you like) that scares away the "scaries" or the monsters or the noises etc? Maybe a magic spell in place of a bedtime prayer would be something he would like. Also, a night light or dimmer switch on our DD's ceiling light really helped her feel safe. A fan in her room (as you have done) also helped with noises.

How is the bedtime routine? Maybe a calming book instead of TV or a movie would be better? Our dd loves listening to music with us before bed, whether it's classical or contemporary, we just keep the genre/mood calm and instrumental. What do you do at bedtime to wind him down? Some people find TV to be a problem with calming, no matter the program.

Do whatever you can to make him feel safe in his bed and bedroom in general. If he gets scared in another part of the house, take him with you to his "safe room" to calm him down, maybe. Just some thoughts, and I wish you the best of luck with this!!

S.

H.,
My son had the same problem until one day he told me it was a movie that he should have not been watching when he was supposed to be in bed. He visualized monsters underhis bed and in his closet. So one day I sat with him and when he told me the onsters were there, I yelled out to the monsters that they needed to show their faces to me because if they were going to take up residence in my son's room all the monsters were going to have to pay rent and do chores to live there. My son had the laugh of his life and has slept peacefully since. Once in awhile the monsters come to visit, but when I tell them they have to pay rent they miraculously leave the premisses. Hope this helps. Good Luck.

I guess your son probably gets so upset before he even goes down to bed because he is scared of what will happen. He probably had some scary dreams and now is afraid of going to sleep. It seems like those Freddy Kruger movies were on to something:) I have heard of two things that have worked for other people. One is the Super-nanny "Monster Spray." Just colored water in a spray bottle that keep away monsters (or you could call it Bad Dream Spray). You spray it all around your sons room before bed and play it up like it works really well. The other thing is putting an old tv remote next to your 4 yr. old's bed. When he has a bad dream, he needs to pick it up and change the channel so that bad dream doesn't come back or happen again. I hope one of these things works for you.

This may seem like an odd question/answer. If you are a christian, pray with him when he goes to bed. Make it fun but ask God to watch over him and keep him safe and feeling secure and let him know God will take care of him. My three year old daughter was having the same problem. She wouldn't even go into her room to sleep. Now she is fine. Something else that has helped in the past(we have 7 girls) is letting them pick three books to read but they have to stay in bed if they want to read. If he has to sleep with the light on, Its still a step in the right direction. We did that with one of ours too. Then changed to a 40watt bulb, then a night light. There is always something behind a fear like this. Could he have seem something scary on TV? COuld his sister have spooked him without knowing it. Little ones have amazing retention. My three year old saw the witch on Little Mermaid and it freaked her out. At last but not least -you won't like this one- is grab a sleeping bag and sleep in his room with him. Not forever,just to let him begin to see his room as a non threatening place. Does he have a super hero? Maybe you could buy a poster or blanket and have that in his room to help him feel safer. Good luck.

H. , your best bet is to cuddle him , then bring him to YOUR bedroom and lay down with him till he falls asleep and after he does carry him into his bed.

NEXT figure out what is scaring him, sometimes VIOLENT kids shows or movies are the worst culprits

like NINJA movies, fast and the furious tokyo drift,
sword fights, scarey commercials for movies that are out in theatre's, car accident commercials, flood warnings on the news,

At 4 THEY ARE SO SUSEPTIBLE TO THESE

Try and turn off the TV at night and durring the day for atleast a week,
OR
Program his brain with positive secure things for the next week,

DO NOT acknowledge his fear,pretend it doesn exist,

And finally if he still insists get a dream catcher,
and take off his socks,

I told my oldest that if he wears socks to bed it makes bad dreams , and he believed me, and it worked, as long as he didn't have socks on he was bad dream free

THEN I used the dream cather read him a story abou them, catching his bad dreams, and it made him feel safe.

But Now that he is older I found it usually has to do with bad shows or commercial, argumets and things like that.

So try and figure out what the trigger is, and it will help

Good luck

M

I have to say that I think the most difficult part of being a parent is when your children are not sleeping regularly, you just can't function at 100% when you are not getting a good night sleep. That being said, you need to reclaim the night!! I think you should turn the TV off, a child needs to self sooth back to sleep, the TV is the worst distraction for a child. You need to set up a ritual where you check under the bed, in the closet and around the corners, leave the light on. Then you need to set up boundaries. One back to bed, then return to bed each time. The supernanny (channel 7) has a great book with this technique in it. You have to be firm and keep doing it no matter how long it takes. We did this for my daughter and it took three nights, but after the third night she put herself to bed, feel asleep on her own and slept through the night. It was wonderful!! Sometimes you have get tuff, it's not easy, but it's worth it!! Good luck!!

You mention he has a TV in his room that is kept on at night. My advice would be to remove the TV. Experts say that kids have a difficult time sleeping if they watch TV before bed. I would assume leaving it on while they are supposed to be sleeping is even worse!

Also, is he watching age appropriate shows? Many young kids watch cartoons and movies that are made for older kids, which can also cause nightmares and fears at night. Even a movie like Shrek can be scary for a 4 year old (and is made for older kids like 7 and up).

Good Luck!

My daughter had a similar problem with one of her daughters. Every night she sprayed air freshener all around and under the bed and in the closets and told her this would keep all the scarey things away while she slept. It worked for them. It's worth a try.