13 answers

Son with Hands down Pants All the Time

Hello moms!
My beautiful 22 month old boy has his hands down his pants every change he gets. We have had this issue for a while and put onesies on him all the time. Every few weeks I try without and a day later he is at it again. I know this is normal but my husband does not think it is and he was asking last night what we are going to do about it becuase he thinks he will be doing this forever. So my question is how do I deal with my husband(I suggested he talk to our pediatricion)and when do kids go past this stage? He is not ready to be potty trained yet either (not showing signs yet) Thanks!

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I have this same "problem" with my 2 1/2 year old son...his hand it ALWAYS down his pants. I agree with some of the others that you don't want him to think it's wrong to exlore his body. I just tell him that it's n ot nice to touch his "wee-wee" when other people are around, only when he has privacy (he knows that privacy is what you give people when they use the potty!!) He usually takes it out. I think it's totally normal...I wouldn't worry unless he is still doing it in 5 years!!!

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Uhhh, S., does your HUSBAND have HIS hands down his pants every chance he gets?

Clearly, little boys go through this, and obviously outgrow it. Or, uh, we'd have every dude on the subway, in business meetings and in bars and restaurants ALL with their hands down their pants. You're welcome for the visual. I hope you are all laughing at the very thought, like I am.

As the mother of three boys, I can tell you that they all did it. They all outgrew it. And, they all function just fine in public without man-handling themselves. Its a little early to start telling him, "Honey, no, we don't do that in public. Keep your hands outta your pants." But, what the heck, give it a shot.

Leave it to the MAN to think its 'not normal.' Thou dost protest too much?

Lighten up! Its kinda funny. And, its just a PHASE.

3 moms found this helpful

Hi S.:
Your husbands attitude,towards your sons behavior,at this age,makes me believe one of two things.either he is to old to remember TOUCHING HIMSELF) or his own parents ridiculed him for doing it when he was a boy.Your son's behavior is quite normal,and healthy.He is discovering his own body.Girls and boys both go through a period of discovery,where they realize sensation. They find,that by touch,they can experience A good feeling.If you discipline,ridiculed,or attempt to shame him into believing that to feel good is a Bad or dirty thing,he can have sexual hang ups later on.If your sons behavior bothers your husband,then have your husband calmly take him to the side,and tell him, that there's nothing wrong or bad about touching himself,but he needs to do it in private. He can touch himself in the bathroom or his room.If you teach him good hygiene ,he will wash his hands,before meals.I've yet to hear,anyone catching A venereal disease from A two year old. lol.This is a phase,that all boys and girls go through while exploring themselves.Boys especially,as they have erections.He won't be doing this in class when he goes to school,or sit at dinner with A napkin in between his legs! lol.If your husband,still looks at this as abnormal behavior,take him to your sons Dr. and let him enlighten him. Amazing,that his mom would have a better understanding of what her son was going through.I wish you and your growing son the best. J. M

2 moms found this helpful

Book an appointment with your pediatrician to have your son checked out for a possible heat rash or yeast infection that may cause itching in your son's genital region. Take your husband with you to the appointment and, if it turns out that your son doesn't have anything going on in his diaper area, then the doctor can explain to your husband that the hand down the pants thing that your son is doing is a perfectly natural stage in his development and will eventually fade away in due time if you pay it no mind.

1 mom found this helpful

I'm blunt....does your husband think it feels good when he touches himself? It's the same thing. Girls and boys touch themselves because it feels good. I see my 19 mo old daughter pinching herself there while in the bath...ignore it now till he is old enough to say it private and not to do it in public. Normal.

1 mom found this helpful

My son starting doing something similar (he would grab the front of his pants) shortly after he was potty trained, and he was doing it all the time. I kept asking him if he had to go to the bathroom or if it hurt and he said "no." We would just remind him to take his hands off. He was 3 at this time so he was a little older than your son. I just realized recently that he hasn't done it in a while, I did hear hear from other moms that they will outgrow it. You can never tell how long it will take to outgrow, but with my son it lasted about a year.

I would keep the onesie on him as much as possible now to help keep it from beoming a habit. If he gets through a whole day without the onesie and doesn't do it, maybe keep the onesie off for one day here and there but go back to onesies the following day before he starts with the hands down his pants again. Just thinking that might help him adjust to having the onesie off completely and not going back to it. As for hubby, I would just tell him that you have heard from other moms that it is completely normal. It is part of his development and he will eventually outgrow it. I don't think there is any reason not to gently help your son to not do it, but as for stopping it altogether, I think you just have to wait it out. And one thing I am learning from experience with my kids, especially in the first few years, nothing last forever! If that doesn't help your husband, it might not be a bad idea to make an appointment with the doctor and ask your husband to go too. I don't think it hurts to get a "2nd opinion," especially from a medical expert.

Good luck!

From what I understand, this is normal. My friends who have little boys have all gone through this, around the same age. My daughter is discovering her body. We just remind her that those are her private parts, and these things are to be done privately.

If you do not see a rash and he doesn't appear to be physically uncomfortable, don't bother with the doctor.
(I am sure that parents who suggested you take him to the dr. are well-meaning, however it does increase the wait time for those who really need to be there for things like well-checks and true emergencies. It also can drive up insurance rates.)

I have this same "problem" with my 2 1/2 year old son...his hand it ALWAYS down his pants. I agree with some of the others that you don't want him to think it's wrong to exlore his body. I just tell him that it's n ot nice to touch his "wee-wee" when other people are around, only when he has privacy (he knows that privacy is what you give people when they use the potty!!) He usually takes it out. I think it's totally normal...I wouldn't worry unless he is still doing it in 5 years!!!

Hi S., As a mom of 2 boys, now grown I would have to agree with your husband that it is not normal pursay, at this age the diaper becomes very unconfortable for some tots, and is not real good hygene, he may be itching or sweating. Take it from somebody who has probably potty traines 50 or 60 kids, not showing signs doesn't necessarly mean their not ready, they may just not have been worked with enough, a lt of 22 month olds are potty trained, this may be what it takes to keep his hands out of his pants, at that age their hands are in their mouths, they touch toys and other things around the house, which is very unsanatary for him and others living in the house. J.

I had one son that was doing for a very long time like you I needed some help also.I tryed for ever as he got older I made him sleep with his hands on top of the bedding.

You may want to start potty traning and that may help him to stop doing his game's.

I am 73yrs old mom grandmother and great grandmother had 7
Beth W.

A brief visit to the pediatrician will help Dad a lot. BTW, this stage goes away and returns with growth spurts and definitely with puberty... oh hormones! Poor Dad ;)

When my sons started doing this, I just removed their hands and told them that we don't play with our bottoms. It may be normal to discover that body part, but it is not a good idea to allow them to constantly touch themselves.
If your son thinks it's okay, then he'll never slow down. He will never stop completely, but he should know that it is not okay all the time.

totally normal..my son is 3..still fiddles..they're little cave men ...my son also always picks his nose and will eat his boogers..bleh..got that from his dad b/c i remember being so grossed out by kids that did that when i was little! But your son is doing what most boys do..they change as they get more socialized

YOur son may be being attacked by a satellite system. I am still being attacked by a satellite system. And I send letters to the government every 2 months. I've emailed, phoned, faxed, sent letters, etc. done everything and still nothing yet. I am confident that my situation will be resolved soon. You may want to consider keeping a chart of what's happening with your son.

Be well.


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