Son Will Not Give up His Binky!

Updated on February 29, 2008
S.F. asks from Des Moines, IA
63 answers

My son is almost 3 1/2 and still has to have his "binky". He has it in the mornings, nap, and then a lot in the evenings and at bedtime. I have tried to talk to him about how he is too old for a binky and it is really bad for his teeth. It is like trying to take away his best friend! Any help would be appreciated!

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M.Z.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hi S.-

My name is M.. I have a 14 month old daughter. I just watched supernanny last week and she had the pacifairy deliver the child an envelope in the mail. She told the child that the pacifairy gives the envelope to children who are older and don't need paci's anymore and then the pacifairy will give the pacifiers to new little babies to use. The child put the nuks in the envelope and then put the envelope in the mailbox. The next day the child went to the mailbox, it was decorated with glitter, confetti and streamers and inside was a note and a present for the child for giving up his pacifiers. The little boy seemed to do well with giving up the nuks.

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A.L.

answers from Davenport on

I remember the day I finally had to take my daughter's puffy from her. She was 4 and that was 7 years ago. I told her that she was a big girl now and she couldn't have it in her mouth anymore because her teeth were getting bigger. It had been an off and on again battle for months, I was recently split from her dad so I let her have it for a while longer than she should have. The day I took it she cried and cried... I had set it on the counter and she came up to me and said "mommy, can I look at it." I smiled and said of coarse you can. She was fine as long as she knew it was in sight. After a couple of days I put it away in her box and it was as easy as that.

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T.A.

answers from Bismarck on

S.,

My nephew really stuggled with giving up his binky also. I was his daycare provider and he knew he could not have it at my house. The parents did end up starting to snip the ends off the binky's until there was nothing left to suck on or he threw it away because he did not like the feel of it in his mouth. It did not take long...Good Luck!

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K.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

S.,
Our son also refused to "give up" his nuk when he was three. I finally resorted to cutting a hole in them, one at a time. When he would find one and show me I'd say "oh-oh, that one is broken!" and we would throw it out together. We had several, of course, so it took several days for all of them to "break" (he was finding them ALL OVER the house!) but he seemed to accept the fact that they were "broken" much more easily than the idea that I was just going to take them away from him. We "discovered" together that each of them was broken, and together we would throw them out. It was actually pretty painless for all concerned, and once he couldn't find any more he had no choice but to stop using them! Good luck!

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T.D.

answers from Lincoln on

My son is almost 4 now but had his "binky" until he was almost 2. The way that we got rid of his binky was that I told him he could not have a Birthday day until he was a "big boy" and gave up the binky. He then dropped his "binky" down one of our air registers and that was that. He was ready to be a big boy wanted his party. Sure we had a few rough nights but thats better then speach and teeth problems that could have come down the road. I would try to have him throw away or give away his binky and then give him a special reward, take him to the circus, zoo or something else that he doesn't get to do everyday. Also make sure to give him a lot of postive reinforcement.

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M.G.

answers from Milwaukee on

When it came time to take my daugther's away, we went to Build A Bear and she was able to put them in the dog she picked out. It made giving them away easier, but we still had a couple of rough nights after that. Good Luck!

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G.K.

answers from Green Bay on

My 2 never really used "binkys", BUT I saw a good idea about this on Supernanny. She told the little girl that there was a binky fairy, so she had to leave her binkys in a special place for the binky fairy. Then, the binky fairy left a prize in exchange for the binkys. It was like a stuffed animal or something. Both of my children have a favorite stuffed animal they sleep with. My niece had her binky all the way up to Kindergarten! I always thought it looked funny, but she grew out of it. I don't have any personal suggestions since mine never used them, but maybe you can gather something from the above accounts?

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J.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I am a young Grandma with 8 grandkids. I have been through thumb sucking and numerous NUKS. What I did as they got older and were not willing to give it up, I made them responsible for it. One time we were at a fabric store and our son threw it. I didn't go find it but told him that now it was gone. That evening I was scared, but I again told him that he was the one who threw it and I just sat there with him for awhile and he fell asleep without it.

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A.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

S.,

I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter who had the same issue...until recently. We live far from family, but stay close with quarterly visits, video phone calls, etc. A new cousin will be born within the next few weeks and we somehow convinced our daughter that the new baby in the family needed her binkies more than she did. We had her place all 3 of her binkies in an envelope, she watched my husband address the envelope to "Papa" and then she went with dad to the post office to mail them. Papa called when he got them, and our daughter got so excited that her binkies were waiting for the new baby to come. She only asked for them TWICE after we had mailed them, and then she laughed when we reminded her that she had mailed them to Papa. (I PROMISE you that before we mailed them, she was attached to it CONSTANTLY!)

I don't know if it would work for your son to give it up for his new baby sister - probably too much potential for jealousy there - but perhaps if there is another family member, friend, or an "imaginary" baby out there that really NEEDS a binky, perhaps mailing it could be an option for you as well!

Good luck to you! I really feel for you...that has been one of the most frustrating aspects of parenthood for me so far!!

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N.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have no advice...same situation...

he has to give it to me in the morning and after his nap...

he will not go to sleep without it...

we have tried other toys, but he just wants his nuk back...

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B.B.

answers from Davenport on

My daughter was also very hooked on her pacifier. But we told her that when she was 3, she would be a big girl and that big girls didn't need pacifiers. We gave her PLENTY of warning about it. About a week before her 3rd birthday we started the Throwing Out the Binkies celebration. Each night she would throw one away (and we had her do it so she could take some ownership of the decision, even though it was ultimately our decision). By the end of the week there was one pacifier left to throw out on her birthday. We made a big deal about it... what a big girl she was, how proud we were of her, etc. That first night with no pacifier was a little rough, I won't lie to you. But it got better each night & by the end of the next week, she didn't even ask about her pacifiers anymore. That's what worked for us. By the way, it was the same method that my BIL & his family use and he is a pediatrician, so I trust his advice.

Also, I was pregnant with my 2nd child, too, at the time that my daughter gave up her pacifier & we did use "the baby needs pacifiers now, so we need to get rid of yours" thing, too. Hope that helps.

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K.G.

answers from Des Moines on

We actually just went through the same thing! ;-} We started telling my daughter when she was 3 1/2 that when she turned four that she would have to get rid of her binky. At first we would remind her once a week, and about a month away from her 4th b-day, we started reminding her daily and telling her that when she turned four she was a big girl, and only babies have binkies. Believe it or not, it went way better than expected!! She has not had one since she turned 4! The first couple of nights it took her longer than normal to fall asleep, but now we are back on schedule. Good luck!!!

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C.M.

answers from Milwaukee on

Start by cutting it down to just bedtime / nap. Tell him that the doctor said so or something. If he has a favorite power ranger or spider man tell him that they don't have binkys when they are up and playing... Tell him straight out that it's just for bed and if he really needs it he can go into bed.

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T.H.

answers from Rochester on

S., I have a 4 year old boy who just recently gave up his paci. What I realized from our adventure is that the more we bugged him about it and talked about it the more he wanted it and held on even more "so to speak". But once we decided to "drop it" and not bug him about it, he decided that he was a big boy now and didn't need it anymore. I sent him to stay with my mom and dad one weekend and I told him that I forgot it...he said that was ok and went all weekend without it. Then when he got home of course he wanted it again and now we told him we could not find it. We hunted the whole house, didn't find it and he went to bed. It took like two or three nights of him asking for it and starting counting the days on his calendar....once he hit one week, he got to go to Toys R Us and pick out a new toy. That was it! He made it to one week, got a new toy and never looked back! So, I guess I just wanted to tell you that we struggled with this too, asking our Dr., friends, research on how to get rid of it, but really, it will happen on his own time and what a nurse told us is that it is a comfort thing for him....he will not have it when he is in 10th grade or anything and as long as he is using it just in the house, for naps, bedtime, then really, it is ok. The other thing to think about right now is the arrival of a new baby...his paci might just help him through this transition and then MAYBE he will be a big boy and give it to his new baby sister? Good luck!

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L.V.

answers from Sioux Falls on

We told our daughter for several days that the binky fairy would be coming and that she would take the binky and leave her a surprise present. We purchased a nice toy (Dora the explorer) something that she would really enjoy and get excited about. We gave her the binky that night and then the toy was waiting for her the next morning. We told her no more binky after tonight. She was so excited to wake up to her new toy and we never looked back. I did save the binky though, to put in her memory box. I think replacing the binky with a toy/reward is easier on the child and parents then cold turkey.

Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

When my older son turned 1, we limited the Nuk to bedtime only. He got a kick out of the "nukkie in the crib" command and loved throwing it in (we're currently doing the same with our 10mo). Then when he turned 2, we took him to Toys R Us to "buy" a "no-nukkie" toy with his pacifiers (he had two). We arranged it with the cashier that he would "pay" her with them and it worked like a charm. My son STILL plays with the little $4 car he bought back then. Might be worth a try since this is done out of the house and on neutral territory. Good luck!

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T.E.

answers from Grand Forks on

When my daughter was 18 months old we just took the nuk from here. Then she got sick and we gave it back, after that she wasn't going to let it out of her sight. Finally at 3 years old, we also had the nuker fairy come. We put all the nuks in the baggie and she got a present. It worked really well i still have a 1 year old with a nuk and she new which were hers and which was her sisters. She has never tried to take her sisters. We also made sure that when the nuker fairy came that we were very busy, we drove to both grandma's played with cousins and really tried to keep her mind off it. It was amazing. My sister did the cutting the tips off and that worked for her too.

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K.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

We tried lots of things to get my daughter off it. We were able to get her down to only naps and bedtime by not allowing it out of her room. Then at about 2 1/2 we bought her a book that said the mommy was going to send it to babies that need one. We asked if she wanted to do that and she said no. but then I asked if she wanted to send it to Henry (a friends baby) then she got all excited. She helped daddy put it in an envelope and daddy left to "mail" it. She was a little bit of crying, but not bad. We kept reminding her that she sent it to Henry. Once in awhile she will talk about it, but she is proud that now she is a big girl and doesn't need it. I also have an infant and was afraid she would try to take that baby's, but she has been really good about it.

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J.A.

answers from Appleton on

What finally worked for our son was cutting the end off. One night before bed we snipped a little off the end and gave it to him like nothing was wrong. He took it out of his mouth and looked at it and asked me why I broke it! We just went with the story of it being broken and continued to cut a little more off each night until he could not hold it in his mouth anymore and he went to bed just holding it. It was just over a week and we were able to throw away the 'broken' nuk and the others we kept as back ups!

Something a friend did was bring the nuks to Build a Bear and put them inside the animal when making it.

Best of luck!

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L.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

This is what I did with both my sons and they were both done within a week or 2. I cut the tip because then it doesn't suction as well and most kids don't like the feeling. My one son would not even touch it after the first cut so he was done with it quickly. However, my other son I cut the tip every other day for about a week and he would still insist on having it. After I week I told him that since it was broken it would have to get thrown away. He was fine with that and was done. They both had about a week of finding something new to help them sleep but after that they never had one again. You will probably have ups and downs during this process but stay strong and positive he will eventually give it up. I hope this helps.

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W.H.

answers from Omaha on

My son wouldn't either. The thing that finally got him to give it up was forgetting them on a week-long trip. He whined a bit, but was so exhausted he'd fall asleep without it. When we got back, we made a big deal of throwing the others away, sort of like a graduation party.

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T.V.

answers from Lincoln on

We had the EXACT problem. One night after he fell asleep and the binky fell out of his mouth we took it away. We put a few dollars under his pillow and told him the binky fairy came and took it but left him the money so he could go pick out a present for being a big boy now. He asked about his binky a few more times, but forgot all about it in a couple days. It worked really good. Maybe you could try something similar. Good luck to you.

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J.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

When my oldest daughter turned 3 we went to Walmart and she could pick out any doll she wanted but she had to pay for it with her "pluggie". That was her form of cash. She was more than happy to do it and on the way home I could see the tears streaming down her face so I just reminded her of the great Barbie she was holding and then she got a big smile on her face. That night she was wanting it and I reminded her that she had used it to buy her cool new Barbie. That was it and it was over.
I really think that taking "pluggie's" away is much harder on the parents (the Mom) than the kids. It's like when they lose a toy. They get upset but then they forget about it.
Also, at the age of 2 I made her keep them in her bed. She could have them at nap and bedtime but that was it. When she came out of bed she had to leave them behind.
Bye the way, I never gave one to any of my other kids. Too much bother having to get up and find them in the middle of the night for her all the time :o)
Good luck,
J.
Mom to 4 and soon one more through another adoption.

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J.C.

answers from St. Cloud on

This may sound cruel but just find them all and toss them. That is the nice thing about pacifiers vs thumb suckers, it will be a rough few days to a week but then it will be over vs. dragging it out. Also have heard of people cutting the nipple off of them, that may be an option also, good luck,
J.

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E.V.

answers from Minneapolis on

We just helped our daughter (age 2) get rid of her nuk. We bought a "big girl" pillow and really talked it up for a few days, but didn't allow her to use it yet. Then she "bought" the pillow with her nuks, by throwing all of them into the garbage. We thought she would struggle a bit, but she hasn't at all. She's slept great! It might be a bit tougher with an older child, but I would recommend just biting the bullet and doing it. Sometimes I think it bothers us more than them!

E. :)

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B.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi S.- I"m a mom of twins. Someone told us about ideas too. We chose and had tears for one night. My one daughter gave it up easier- the other needed a replacement- a blanket and animal but it worked.
Two options.
Go to the grocery store- and say you have to buy something with it- key in the cashier.
We sent ours off on the bus to be delivered to school for a collection to give to other needy babies who don't have binkies.
Good luck
B. Jarmoluk

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J.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

I had same problem with my son. What I did was slowly cut off the tip of the binky until there was barely anything there. Then I told him it looks like it was broken and he should probably throw it away and told him he doesn't need it anymore anyway. I thought all hell would break out, but he took his binky & threw it away and we never had a problem! I think part of it working was that he had the control to throw away and it since it was decreased to nearly nothing, it didn't do what it used to for him anyway!

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G.H.

answers from Duluth on

Hi, what we did was cut the nipple off of it and just let our daughters just hold it, at that age we just explained that the binky fairies needed them for other babies, you could even tell him it's for his soon to be sibling.
Gradually he will be tired of that, and if not, no harm in holding it!!
Good Luck!!

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J.S.

answers from Dubuque on

I only have one son who thank goodness hated the binky but my nephew who I pretty much raised from the time he was born loved them.I know this sounds cruel but when your child is sleeping throw all the binkys in the house away and make sure they do the same at daycare. That was the only thing that worked for me. Everytime he would ask for it I would change the subject and distract him. Make sure no one even mentions the word binky in front of your son either. Whenever I would take Kyle anywhere people would say ahh no more binky Kyle your such a big boy well that would start it up again. Hopefully this helps.

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J.G.

answers from Lincoln on

S.,
Try the binky fairy or even giving them to a new baby. The other option is to start cutting the tips off all of them. Does he have a blanket or favorite stuffed animal he can still sleep with. Both my boys did well when they had something to hold on to when they slept. It will be tough the first few nights, but it gets easier. Good luck.
J..

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K.W.

answers from Sioux City on

Try cutting off the tip. It's not nearly so satisfying. We just did this last month w/ our 20 month old. She put it in her mouth, laughed, and popped it out. She cried for a bit when we put her in her crib and realized that no proper pacifier was offered as a replacement, but then settled after a few minutes. She cried again at bedtime the next couple of nights (we put it in her hand), and now she doesn't even care. It's been somewhere under her crib for the past couple of weeks. It might be a little tougher w/ a 3 year old. It kind of depends upon how badly you want to get rid of it. Good luck.

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T.J.

answers from Bismarck on

You have to take it away slowly. First tell him he can only have the binky when he is in his own room, then only while he is napping/sleeping. Then take it away for naps, and then finally at night time. This worked for my two year old really well.

Our slogan was "binky for babies, I am a big girl" and then Mommy would put it up where she couldn't reach it.

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S.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi S.,

Here's what worked for us. We called the pacifier a "nukie." We told our son that when he was ready to give up his nukie, he could leave it under his pillow and the nukie fairy would come and take the nukie and leave a present. Then we waited until he said he was ready so it was totally his choice. That night we asked him a couple times if he was sure he was ready and he said yes. So when he fell asleep we took the nukie (actually there were multiple nukies under his pillow!) and left 2 stuffed animals (puppies) and a pack of hotwheels cars. The hotwheels for something fun and the puppies for falling asleep or snuggling in place of using his nukie. He was really excited when he woke up and never really missed the nukies. He's now 7 and on occasion will still fall asleep holding his puppies and will mention that the nukie fairy left them for him. Good luck!

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L.L.

answers from Omaha on

A friend of mine took her daughter and her binky to the airport and told her that the binky had to get on a plane and go to a new baby...it worked! My little one started biting through them and I told him..it's broken, time to throw it out ...and he did! It was over just like that! He was 2. His dentist could tell at his 2 year old visit that he used a binky. It's bad for their teeth...you've got to just get rid of it cold turkey. I know it's hard, but...

Good luck.

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P.M.

answers from Milwaukee on

My daughter was a thumb sucker. She finally (we think) gave it up around 15 YO. It was a habit when she slept.

My son though had a binky. We um "accidentally" lost it at the sitter's when he was 4. He seemed to take it very matter-of-factly. Like, "ok, it's gone, nothing I can do about it." Unfortunately he found out it wasn't lost much later when he was about 14. He laughed about it then so it was ok.

We knew the thumbsucking wasn't good for my daughter's teeth, nor was the binky good for our son. Both eventually had braces.

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H.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

I had not planned to get rid of my daughter's nuk. I went to the dentist for my regular check-up, and she came with me. My dentist took one look at her and said the nuk needed to go. When we got home, I took away all the nuks. When she asked for one, I reminded her that the doctor said she can't have them any more. After only a few days, she stopped asking, and I wasn't the bad guy.

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S.M.

answers from Lincoln on

I've cut the tip off also. Yes, there will probably crying and maybe a temper tantrum or two, but give it a couple of days.
They might want to carry it around for a day or two and then it will be forgotten. I'm sure a new toy would help cheer the sprits of your child too.
The most important things is not to go out a buy another one. Even if it's 3am and they is screaming. Don't give in. Lots of hugs, cuddling and reassurance that they are a big boy.
It's tuff! :) Good luck.

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B.F.

answers from Lincoln on

Hey S.
Congrats on the baby girl due in May! How exciting! My daughter was still clinging to her binky at 18 months when her father and I decided it was time for it to go. She had to have it all the time. So one by one, we cut the tips off the ends so she couldn't get any suction. They will then just fall right out of their mouths because they can't hold on without suction. She then got frustrated with them, and a few days later, was completely rid of the binky. Might as well give it a try! Best of luck!
B. F.

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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter was like this. She was so addictied to her Nuk that she would have one in her mouth and one in her hand. We talked about the Nuky fairy coming, she wasn't intrested and said that she would give it up when she was 5. When I was pregnant with my second we talked endlessly about the new baby need the nuk and she should give it to him but she would say I need it, it's mine. Just before I had the second baby and just before her fourth birthday, I just took it. We only had one left and she still thinks it got lost. Once it was gone it was totally not a big deal. The first night was a little rough going to sleep, I told her to suck her thumb, which she did for about five minutes and figured out she didn't like it. I then worried she would become addicted to her thumb but that did't happen. I wish we would have done it sooner but I think the anticipation on mine and my husbands part of how bad it was going to be held us back. If you can make it one night, you can never give it back. Good luck, it was way harder on me then her:)

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S.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

I recommend to just make a cold-turkey break on it. The first few days will be tough but after that you son will likely forget about his binky all together.

Good Luck!

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S.J.

answers from La Crosse on

I would not worry about the binky. It's not like your gonna have a 12 year old wanting to take it to school with him. My children never took to the binky but my sister had 2 four year olds with them. They just wanted that security and when they were ready gave them up. It sounds like he is not walking aroung all day with it hanging out of his mouth. Just start by not leaving them out were he can see them all the time and only keep a few. If you see one laying around throw it away. Look on the bright side at least he's not sucking his thumb. You can't take that away. Also my sisters children have no problems with their teeth if you are worried about that. Good luck on the birth of your new baby girl and have a beautiful day!

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Snip the tip of the binky off or make a hole in it. Your son will not be able to get the suction anymore. It worked for my friend's child. J.

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G.L.

answers from Omaha on

Oh my gosh! We went through this twice, the most recent just a few months ago. Our first born was the toughest. He was the same as your little guy, still wanting it at age 3. He finally gave in to giving it up for the 2 1/2 hours of preschool, but wanted it immediately upon getting in the car. We tried EVERYTHING! What finally worked was "the binky fairy". We had to get a little stern because we knew there was no other way. He was too old and it was affecting his teeth (and we still have a few problems with teeth and he is 11 yrs old). So we prepped him that the binky fairy was coming soon (we had a designated date we counted down to) and that she needed to take his binkys to deliver them to all the babies that needed them. So on that special night, we put his binkys under his pillow and the binky fairy came while he was asleep and exchanged a small gift in return for his binkys. We prepared ourselves for a rough night the following night, and it was a little rough, but not bad. He seemed to take it pretty well. I think at that point he was old enough to understand that the binky is for babies and they needed them more than him.
Good luck with whatever methods you try!

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N.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

I ordinarily don't watch "Super Nanny" but the show aired this evening (Wednesday Feb 20) had a terrific idea. Try to get your hands on a copy or download it off the internet. It was really a clever way to resolve the binky problem.

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M.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi S.,

I have a daughter (now 8 years old) who had the same situation. We told her that the Nuk fairy was going to be coming soon, and if we leave the nuk near the window on the right night, the Nuk fairy will come and take it to another baby who needs it and leave her with a "big girl gift" in return.

We left a new Playschool boombox with microphone in place of the nuk. She woke up the next morning and loved the new "big girl gift" and forgot all about the nuk- no questions asked. She was 3 years old at the time. I hope this helps. Good luck!

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T.Z.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi S. -

We just went thru this with our second son (age 3) - it was more difficult than with his brother. The first thing we did was just tell him that it was only allowed at night (not at nap, and not out of his bed - EVER. Then we started talking about being a big boy (which he really wants to be) and how they don't use binkies. We told him that when he was ready, he could take his binkies to the store and "buy" any toy he wanted (we went to Kohl's so he didn't have the choice of a really expensive toy). We talked about it for a couple of weeks and he just wasn't ready. One morning he woke up and said he wanted to go to the store and buy a toy - we explained that he would not get his binky back once he bought it and he said OK. So we QUICKLY went to the store (we didn't want him to change his mind) and bought his toy. The next 2 nights were tough - he kept saying he wanted to take his toy back and get his binkies - some crying, and very unrestful sleeping. But by the 3rd night he was fine and never asked for it again. Good luck!

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C.A.

answers from Omaha on

Yep, I'd cut them off, it worked for us, too.

If he's upset, perhaps ask him if he'd like something else to sleep with. If nothing he has works, offer to let him choose a new stuffed animal at the store.

Once you're through that part, start pointing out how many babies have pacifiers. Talk about how those are for babies, talk about it a lot before your new little one comes so he won't want those pacifiers when they come back into your home!

Good luck! He'll be okay!

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B.C.

answers from Grand Forks on

There are far more important things in life to deal with than a "binky" and when a child has to give it up, (for societies sake) Let it go, it is part of him. just go with the flow....
my second son who is now 27, has had it with him (in the very sorry state that it is today),forever. It was a special blanket that his grandmother, who has now passed on made for him. and trust me, there is nothing left of it but threads and the binding, which we now all laugh about, it has become a wonderful story for him to tell his own 4 yr old daughter.
My son is a very level headed, wonderfully funny, creative proto type model builder, so I do not think him making the decision to hang on to that piece of his childhood has harmed him in any way. He just keeps in bundled up someplace and his wife respects that, kinda like that old teeshirt man thing later in life we women all deal with.

now being of the older generation, the binky I refer to is a blanket, not a pacifier. My sister in law who's all 5 kids has them, prepared them for months, that on chirstmas eve they would have to give it to the pacifier angel for christmas, for babies that would need them in heaven. this worked wonders!

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L.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi, S.! I know with my first child it just slowly started fading, every once in a while he would forget to ask for it at night, and slowly he just forgot about it. With the twins it was a little harder, but what worked for us was whenever they would ask for their nuk we would go over the top on how icky it was "oooh, gross, you want a nuk? Blah!" And soon they were saying that too. I also let them know that we weren't buying any more nuks, so if they lost them, they didn't get anymore. Well, soon the invisible black hole in our house (does everyone have one of these? There has to be 100 socks, 20 nuks and 5 cups in there!) sucked up all the nuks, so then they just had to deal. It was a couple of upset nights going to sleep, but they got over it pretty quickly. I don't know if any of that will help, but I hope it does!

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K.K.

answers from Madison on

I had the same problem with my daughter and we just told her that the binky fairy would come and give her a present if she decided to give it up. We gradually limited the time she had with the binky and then eventually she decided that she wanted to give it to the binky fairy and get a reward. A few times after that she asked for it and we just reminded her what she got because she gave it away. Eventually she didn't miss it anymore.

Good luck!!

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R.B.

answers from Davenport on

I have been there! I have 2 girls 6 and 4 and they loved their binkies! Last year when my youngest was 3 I just took them away. They had gone to grandmas and I didn't pack one and when she got home we didn't have any. I told her the Binky Fairy came and took them all away and gave them to tiny babies who needed them. That was it, no fuss or anything. Either that or cut off the tips, I've heard that works and I've heard of people taking the binky to the store and "buying" a new toy with it. Ya have to clear that with the check-out person first! Good Luck!

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S.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Just go cold turkey on him!!!! Trust me, it'll work, you may a couple of days when it'll be hard but it gets better.

Have the "binky" fairy come, let him put the binkys in a bag, and the fairy will bring a gift.

It'll work. Trust me!!!!

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K.G.

answers from Sioux Falls on

Don't take it away. Chances are, he won't take it to kindergarten. He will need it to feel comforted when the baby comes and you won't have 100% time to spend with him anymore.

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R.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter has the same issue. We tried going to the build a bear workshop and putting her binky in the bear and having them sew it in. We did a good bye ceremony and talked about saying good bye to the binky for weeks before this special event. It did not work, she just cried and cried and wanted to take back the bear. (We have another younger child still using a binky so that made it tougher) After a couple of weeks we came to the conclusion she is a child who NEEDS that comfort and that why should we deny her that?? She will probably have baby front teeth that stick out a bit from the pacifier but she will lose those and when her adult teeth come in we just assume she will be done with the binky.

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi S., This worked like a charm with our 2 year old. They are old enough to understand rewards.

We spent a couple of days talking about all of the other babies that need "binkys" and that when she was ready, we would take them all to Target and she could get a new toy - she would pay for it with the nuk and they would give them to the other babies that need them. 2 days later, she told me she wanted to go. We gathered all of the nuks into a plastic baggie and went to Target. We spent some time looking at all of the toys until she picked one out. We then went to the register and she "paid" for her toy to the checkout lady with her nuks. A quick wink and whisper to put them in the garbage to the checkout lady, we paid, and that was the end of our nuks. It went so well, I couldn't believe it! And this kid had to have it 24/7.
How nice to not be constantly looking for them while she had a meltdown! Good luck.
K.

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C.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

When my husband and I couldn't find our daughter's pacifier one night we decided that was the night to give it up. We had been talking about it, tried to give it to her baby cousin, but didn't work. We just went cold turkey and told her that if she could go without having it by the end of the weekend she could get the stuffed animal at the store that she wanted. She cried for it for two days at nap and at night and that was it. My mother in law does daycare and cuts the ends of them. The kids usually suck and when they come to her and tell her they don't work any more she tells them to throw them away and that is it. I think my children had their pacifiers longer because of me. It was easier to give it to them and was hard to see them have to give it up. They grow up to fast!

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T.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

My daugher had hers until she was 3. We used to travel alot to visit family. At the time, she only used it for naps and bedtime. So she did not used it in public or on the airplane. When we got home that night, she asked for it and I told her that we forgot it at Nana & Papa's. She understood that their house was far away and that we had to get on an airplane to get it back. Amazingly, she did not have a huge problem with this. She whined a little bit, but within a couple of days forgot all about it! I think why this worked for us was because we had already limited the use and we also implemented a rule, she was not allowed to take it out of her bed! Very strict about that. If she wanted to use it, that was fine, but she had to be in bed, laying down and could not play with toys in her bed. She, of course, realized that this was not fun. By the time we "forgot" it at Nana & Papa's, she did not have a huge attachment to it anymore. I did try to read her those books, "Bye, Bye Binky", etc. These did not help at all, but maybe it would work for you. Hope this helps.

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S.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

S.,

I think it is safe to say that your son uses this as a security / comfort object. Rather than go cold turkey, you may want to try replacing it with something else. I would try music, a special pillow or blanket, or a stuffed animal to sleep with - it seems he needs it the most when he is tired. Take a week or two to find out what he likes and get him used to these objects, then the binky needs to go in the trash where he cannot dig it out.

You will want this done and over with long before new baby arrives. Don't be surprised if your son starts stealing the new baby's binky. Don't buy him another one if he does. Just tell him he is too old for it and remind him of all the things he gets that the baby is too little for. FYI - this is one of those things that gets harder the longer you let it linger. Next time you may want to get rid of the binky between 6 months and 1 year of age.

Good luck
S.

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R.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

S.-

It can sometimes be pointless to try reasoning with a three year old. My suggestion is you just take the binkies and get rid of them. He won't be happy about it, but if you wait for him to agree with you, he might have that binky in his mouth until he's 12! It won't be easy at first, but eventually he'll adjust...and if you feel the need, explain to him that binkies are for babies and he's a big boy. Point out all the things that big boys can do that babies can't...and that you want him to have (or keep) a beautiful smile and the binky won't help. BUT, most importantly, GET RID OF THE PACIFIERS!

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L.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

progressively shaving them in length often helps reluctant transitioners.

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L.J.

answers from Davenport on

my son did not give up the bottle untile he was 2 and a half, one day I took them and him the the out side garbage can and threw them away in from of him and told him he was a big boy now and we dont use those any more they are all gone.

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C.D.

answers from La Crosse on

Have you tried cutting the tips off of the pacifier. Basically it cuts off the suction so there is really no fun in having it in their mouth. My suggestion would be to do it to all of them or just have one that he uses and cut the tip off.

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J.M.

answers from St. Cloud on

Others have posted on this as well. Maybe try and see what advice they have received. I say it is harder on the parents that the child. My kids don't have them, but I did foster care for my nephew and he still had one. It went right in the garbage, but I was not mom either so it was a bit different. With his mom, he knew how to push her buttons so she would give in and give it back. That did not work with me. My sister tried for quite some time to get rid before he came to stay with me. I don't want to sound rude, but you should have gotten rid of it a long time ago, it would have been easier. Good Luck

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