Son Wanting a Kitten/cat Extended Family Is Allergic

I am extremely allergic to cats as well. (head congested, sneazing, hives, eyes leak mucous, nasty allergic) If someone is near me that has a cat I start sneazing. But you know what? I have 4 brothers, and three of them have cats. Just because I am allergic doesn't mean they are. If I am going to their houses for something I make sure to take my allergy medicine an hour before I go. I take a shower and change my clothes as soon as I get home, and a netty pot helps clean out the sinuses.
You tell your kid that you would love to get him a cat, and you tell your family that you have extra benadryl (claritin, zyrtec) and tissue.
L.

2 moms found this helpful

My opinion is that you need to do what is best for your family. If your extended family only visits occasionally, you shouldn't deprive your child of the opportunity to have a pet.

My brother-in-law is allergic to cats, but they make the 300 mile trip a few times a year. We do our best to vacuum the house thoroughly before they arrive, but the cat is still in the house, and it will aggravate him. So, he comes prepared with medications to help minimize his allergies while he's there.

Dogs are a lot of work. Cats are much easier (we have one of each). There are hairless cats (made famous by Austin Powers) if it's really that big of a concern - though I personally think they're a little creepy.

Call a vet and ask if there are any breeds of cats that are less prone to the dander (the main allergen).

A pet can teach a child amazing lessons about responsibility and unconditional love. I would hate to have to deprive my children of those lessons and joys of having a pet around because of a few isolated visits/year.

Hope that helps.

1 mom found this helpful

My brother was allergic to everything, cats especially, but all animals in general. We were destined to never have a pet. My mum was a nurse and she researched every thing. After years of searching. She found that the Russian Blue Cat is hypoallergenic. It does not have the dander that triggers allergies. They are not cheap, but we actually were able to acquire two of them and they never triggered allergic reactions in my brother. They are a grey-bluish colour, fairly short haired and they have a great pet temperament. Hope this helps. They must be purebred.

1 mom found this helpful

S.,

If your son is old enough to take on the responsibilities of a pet, then I think it would be a great opportunity for you and your family to consider a pet.

For the people who are allergic to cats (and I am one of those people), they are really reacting to the cat's spit or saliva. When cat's clean themselves their saliva dries on the fur and then becomes air born as the animal moves around the house. The allergen is extremely small and sticky and very long lived. Cat dander is extremely persistent within a home. The dried saliva can remain an irritant for 7 years after the animal has been removed from the home. Newer homes that never had a cat living in the house have also tested positive for cat allergens because the molecules are so small, light weight, and stick to nearly every surface. There are a few products on the market that denature (change the chemical structure) of the saliva and possibly make it possible for your family to visit.

Here is a website that sells products to help people with allergies control their trigger points. Some families have had great success using these products, some have not. It just depends on the individual person's sensitivity to a specific allergen. http://www.allergystore.com/

Also, there are many things you can do to make your home "safe-er" for your family when they stay. Keep the guest room cat-free. After washing in a detergent that removes allergens, the guest bedding and pillows should be placed within plastic coverings and put into the guest closet to protect from cat allergens. Hardwood floors are better for allergies than carpeted floors. If you already have hardwood, then all rugs and small area carpets should be laundered in the special detergent and placed in plastic bags. Mattresses and box springs should be encased in dust mite protections while the room is not in use.

About a day before your family arrives to stay with you, you should spray down the walls, floor, and the door of the guest room to denature the cat allergen, then vacuum the room completely to remove the denatured allergen. If you have radiant heat, you might want to consider placing a box fan in the room with a whole house filter taped to the fan. This will filter the majority of the allergens out of the guest room while your family is staying with you. If you have forced air, you should put a very good filter into the vent to prevent the cat allergen from entering the room through the furnace and duct system. (This vent should be closed when the room is not in use) A whole house filter and box fan is also a plus, but may not be needed.

You will also want to spray down the cat itself with a special animal spray that should denature the saliva on the fur. This will need to be done at least twice daily while your guests are staying with you. All of your furniture that will be used, including hard wood furniture, should be sprayed down, carpets vacuumed and sprayed with a special carpet spray. Then everything should be vacuumed again.

The day your guests arrive, remove the mattress encasing, make the bed and put down the rugs and spray all of these down with the denaturing solution just in case the plastic did not protect completely. Take it from experience, it is not fun to be allergic to the pillow you are using at night.

It may seem like a lot of work just for your family to stay. But if it is important for your family to visit and stay in your home, then you need to take your guests allergies into consideration.

Pets are great. They teach children many lessons about compassion, trust, loyalty, and long-term care of a loved one. Our family has a dog that was part of the family before our son was born. Our son is now 8 years old and he is just starting to be responsible enough to take on some of tasks that our dog requires. DS feeds the dog every morning, helps to clean the yard once a day, and plays with our dog each day.

Good luck with your decision.

C. Johnson

1 mom found this helpful

If you don't have allergies it's very easy to dismiss what your sister and brother would go thru if they were to visit your house while you have a cat. My hubby has allergies and it is miserable for him when they flare. He is out for the entire day. If you don't mind your family never coming to your house again then go for the cat but you can't get upset with them when they don't come to family parties and get togethers at your place.

1 mom found this helpful

Get you child a kitten. people live and deal every day with allergies. I read an article long ago that people are not allergic to animals. It is the oil in some kittens, that goes away as they get older. also some that have long hair as to short hair. Also people that are allergic will know in 5 min if that one bothers them. They can also take Benadryl it works great.

How allergic are they to cats? I have an allergy, it makes my nose run, eyes itchy etc... If I'm around cats for long periods of time, say 4+ hours is when it kicks in. So visiting a family for a few hours isn't usually and issue, its more of when its an overnight stay. I find that if the cat is in the basement and all the house has been recently vacuumed I don't have much of a problem with it. If not, I'm miserable. My in-laws have a cat, they did ask if they should get rid of it, but I feel terrible asking them to get rid of a pet they enjoy. I don't think its proper for your family to ask you to not get one, unless they have a severe allergy where their throat might close up and they wouldn't be able to breathe...then it would be a problem just because the hair would be stuck on everything... Also another thing, make sure the cat is short haired and more of a sleek hair (not fluffy), I've found a huge difference in my allergy when the cat is a short haired one. Another thought is if you could have the cat trained to be outdoors some. Or a hairless cat. ;)

I have honored the allergies my daughter and grandkids have with cats, but maybe it's different for siblings. Still, your sister's threat might be serious and that's an important relationship. My friend has a cat and she's allergic so she rubs her down with a damp towel every morning then the cat licks herself, and that's helped a lot to lessen the cat dander. My daughter, who's a wonderful mom, is driven crazy by dogs and the work they cause and won't even dogsit for any of us, but we've all lived with it just fine. Her kids always beg for a dog and she has said no all along. No harm done. Kids don't have to get everything they want. My grandkids have a bird and a hamster and enjoy them very much. She's the one who's allergic to cats.

My two cents - Don't do it. A cat (or any animal) isn't worth losing your brother/sister or damaging your relationship with them. It doesn't matter if they come over every day or only twice a year. You know they are allergic, so by getting a cat you're saying "I don't care about you" to your brother and sister. I would recommend exploring other options. Not worth it...

We just got a kitty for our three kids, my family was like you know we are allergic. Well my kids are here 365 days a year and you are here less than i can count on my hands. I can vacuum and dust or we can sit out on the deck. We all love that little sweet kitty so much, he is a wonderful addition to our family. (Family ba-humbug!)

Hi S.! You can have a cat if you want to. Just don't be offended if they can't come to your home because of a reaction.
All my siblings have indoor pets, as does my husband's brother. I can't go to their houses without getting a bad reaction, even with taking allergy meds. So we meet at my house, my parents house, or a restaurant. They get offended sometimes but they don't understand how miserable it is.

It's a big deal and you do have to weigh the fact that you probably won't be having family gatherings. In the end, it's your choice!

I did allergy testing a few years ago and I tested positive for 74 out of 80 things they tested for. Most of them reacted on my back so they are extremely sensitive. Tobacco and cats made huge blisters on my back. I have had numerous cats. I had someone clean the litter box for me and I never bathed them. If their clws dug into my skin then I would have huge whelps but they would go away if I took Benadryl. I can't think of a single time where just having them in the house bothered me.

But I can go to a particular friends house and I start wheezing before she even opens the door. I can smell her litter box and cats from the sidewalk. Her clothes smell and if I take her somewhere in my vehicle I have to leave the windows open. I take 1/2 dose, the children's dose of liquid, Benadryl when I am going to be around this person. We find activities outside her home to do when we visit.

My brother starts swelling as soon as he walks into my house. Our birthdays are only 2 days apart and his wife and my husbands birthdays are only 3 days apart. So once a year we go there for a birthday dinner out and once a year they come here for dinner out. There are things you can do, such as bathing the cats. My husbands sister bathes her cats every Friday evening.

So, if you do get a cat, ask people you trust to tell you the truth. Does your house stink, is it irritation to them if they have allergies? A person with an allergy knows how dangerous it can be. But I believe if a person goes into a situation knowing they can have a reactiona and are prepared then the risk is minimal. You might want to buy some of the ready packs of Benadryl that are pre-easured. They are handy to have around, I carry some in my purse all the time, along with an Epi pen.

Our cat is a persian & she is non-shed/hypo-allergenic. Two of my daughters friends are both allergic but they are not bothered by her at all. I think that sometimes dogs can give off more dander then cats if they aren't the non-shed type.

We have a similar situation. Daughter who is 4. Trying for baby #2 but no luck so she is an only child. She really wanted a cat and a dog was just to much work for us. We commute and I was worried about not giving the dog everything it needed. My brother in law is allergic. We ended up getting her a cat. It was a great choice even though I do feel bad when his brother visits. With allergy medicine he can stay for about 2 hours before needing to go. However, the cat sleeps on my daughters bed every night. The cat follows her around and his her best friend. It is a tough choice but I am glad we got the cat for her. Best of luck!

Hey, Hopefully this will be of some help. My husband is severely allergic to cats - and we have 2 long haired cats. He puts up with it since he knows that my son and myself are huge animal lovers. My mother in law and sister in law are also allergic and we host all holiday gathering at our house. There are a few things that can be done to help people with allergies come to your house and not have a reaction but you have to be proactive. Twice a year we get the cats shaved - so you might want to just get a short haired cat. If people are coming over I vacuum the first thing in the AM to give the particles time to settle before guest arrive. I have a sponge that feels wet but isn't that is awesome for grabbing hair from furniture and window treatments - I use this the day of an event. And then lastly I spray all the furniture with Febreeze Allergen in the AM after vacuuming and wiping down.

Getting an animal is a great idea and a teaching tool for responsibility. Also, this is an immediate family desicion - do not take into consideration people who only visit opinions, since they are not responsible for the care of the pet.

Thanks and good luck!

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!! I really appreciate the other takes on this... Its hard I would rather have a dog, but I can't convience my son..So we shall see..we will wait a little longer and if he keeps asking then..we will do what is needed/wanted.... For those of you who assume my son gets what ever he wants you are mistken.. If that was the case we would of had a cat already.

i may sound a little harsh, but a sister who makes you choose between her and a cat, is not being a good sister...like she expects your families' life to revolve around her.

GET HIM THE CAT! I had one from the time I was 5 till I was 17 years old and LOVED IT!!! I have 2 of my own now, and I wouldn't trade any of those memories for ANYTHING!!!

Cats are also calming for children too. My cat used to sleep next to me at night and it helped me sleep thuroughly thru the nite.

There are hotels, especially in our area, closeby that they can stay at...

I agree with others: Your family, Your life...

I know you got a lot of response but I just wanted to throw in the my son is extremely allergic to cats. He gets shots twice a week and is on Singulair. His allergist said he could keep his cats! He lives with them and is fine. We make sure the cats don't go in his room but other than that he is around them and doing fine so far. My Mom is in the same boat. They may find that they are ok as long as they are being treated.

Your house, your family, your decision. It is that simple. :-)

I have always had cats, and have always had relatives and friends who are allergic. And they take medicine before they come to my house. One friend is highly allergic, but he takes allergy medicine before coming over and he does fine. That said, why does your son want a cat? I have kids, and three cats and two dogs and honestly most of the cats have nothing to do with us. I have had cats all my life, and love cats, but they aren't the most fun pets for kids. You can take dogs for walks or to the park, they usually like to sleep with you or snuggle with you when you watch tv, they can be taught tricks and will play in the yard with you, they protect the home -- can't say any of these things about cats.

If you get a cat, it sounds like you are off the hook for family gatherings! LOL! Seriously, your household, your family's decision. We have had dogs and cats with allergies in our own house and relative's allergies. What they usually do is take an antihistamine before they arrive, and I do my part by cleaning well and trying to keep the pet away from them. This one can be worked out by both parties if they are willing. Your children and husband take priority over your brother/sister in my opinion.

Its your choice not theres. Its your home your child your house. Its up to you. There are procaution steps they can do before coming over and after on there part. They don't visit enough for you not to get a cat. If they where over every week it would be different. Before they come you know there coming so make sure the house is vacumned well. In the summer it will be easier than winter because in the summer the windows will be open and the air will flow in the winter it will be a little difficult because the air won' be able to blow throgh the home. But thats fine also try to keep the cats confined to a room where your bothr and sister wouldn't go inwhile there there. Like we have our basement for our caats and our two are scarce when people come over so they fly down there and you never see them. But some arn't so if your isn't just make sure you put it in the same room as the litterl box till company leaves. Keep benedryl in the house if there having issues you can offer them some. To be honest I have a brother who is allergic and he only had a bad reaction the first time because he didn't tell me i wasnt aware because as kids he never showed signs and than when he told me i make sure i clean and vacumn now unless e unexpectly comes bythan he deals with it. But thats not hardly ever. I wouldn't not get it because of them tough thats not right to your son. He will repell in the older ages for it. I was never allowed a cat when i was small because my dad hated them and i actually seen the anger in im over one and i would always ask well as soon as i moved out it was the first thing i got.

I have always had a cat and I am allergic to them. But who is more important? Your Child or your brother and sister? It is way easier to tell your bro and sis that you're getting a cat instead of telling your child he can't have one because his aunt and uncle will visit 6 or 7 times a year, what about the other 350 some days of the year. Your child comes first before your brother and sister, unless your brother and sister pay the bills and you live under their roof. Do what you want and what makes you and YOUR family happy and enjoy your life.

Your son is 4, right? So, just so you understand the cat would be for you and your hubby to care for, not your son. He can feed/water it but that is about it. That is the first thing you should keep in mind. 4 is young to get the pet you want. Our last cat lived to be 17 by the way. (she was sweet, but boy, oh boy, that is too long!) LOL!!

No, you don't have to consider your extended family but you are and they would not be able to stay with you anymore. If that is OK, then get the cat. My Dad is very allergic, he comes out at the most once a year. We got a new cat in the fall - I'm very allergic to it - (note, I wasn't at all alleric to our first cat and they are the same breed). I believe it is the dander we are allergic to. My first cat tollerated baths, this one not so much. So, I am on Singulair and a steroid inhaler, until....and it sucks, I regret getting the cat but I don't have the heart to get rid of it. I regret it even more because of my Dad. I love him more then any of my extended family. Love his visits and now, he won't be visiting. )-:

Hope this helps!

If your family wants a cat, get one, don't worry about other family members. though when they come to visit put the cat in a room, or basement for thier visit.

Hi there! There might be a way for you to have your cake and eat it too. If you're willing to pay a little more for a pure-bred C., you should get a Siberian kitty. They are lovely long-haired cats that are hypo-allergenic (they produce less of the chemical Fel d1 in their dander which is what bothers allergy sufferers). They are also considered very family and children friendly, having an almost "dog-like" personality. Hope this helps!

Hello S. - I really don't think your sister, who hardly every visits, or your brother, who visits occasionally, can have such a huge influence on your family life. I myself am not crazy about pets, but when visitors come you can always put the cat in another room when they are there, vacuum the living area well - and hand them an anithistamine. If you like cats and your little boy likes them - I say go ahead and have fun.......good luck - Alison

What's more important... the relationship with your sister & brother or your son having a cat. Another question...will your son be traumatized if he doesn't get a cat or will he be fine & learn how to handle disappointment? Not sure how old your son is, but is he old enough to change the kitty litter & feed the cat himself or is that something you are willing to take on.

Another thought, how allergic are your siblings? I saw someone on a flight once who was sitting a couple of rows behind a person with a cat & they were so allergic that their throat swelled shut within a few minutes. Although I am not severely allergic to animals, I am very sensitve to perfume & cologne & get an immediate headache & feel nauseaus when I am next to someone with a lot of it on(especially bath & bodyworks). I guess what I am saying is that I think that we should be especially sensitive to those with allergies & the discomfort that they may face from being around things that they are allergic to. No one asks to be allergic & sometimes it is a royal pain in the you know what to try & explain why you can't come to their house because you are allergic to their pets or could they please not wear cologne to work tomorrow. Food for thought...

Well meow! Sounds like someone's on the defensive.

Okay, as often as your sister visits, are you saying you have to plan your home around her? Yes of course it shows consideration. But how long does she stay? Same with your brother. And don't they use allergy relief like Zyrtec?
It is good to teach your son that taking others issues into consideration is good. It is thoughtful. But there comes a time when everyone else takes second place. He can't plan his entire life around everyone else. If he wants a cat, find out what options there are for visitors. There are air purifiers that could help. There are hotels they could stay at.

Whether you get your son a cat is between you and your hubby and son. It technically is no one else's decision to make. There's compromise, there's cooperation. If your siblings can't see things a little less controlling there's a problem with having to buckle under to their demands. On the other hand, they love you enough to want to visit. So without getting in their faces about whether they consulted you or not about getting their dogs, sit down and see what kind of accomodations you can make on their behalf and at the same time teach love and compassion to your son.

My stepmother is highly allergic to most animals and other allergens, and has SEVERE asthma. However, she managed to visit us for a couple of hours. We have two inside dogs AND a cat. She just took her medication. I think it's unfortunate that your sister thinks she can force her preferences on your family. If she is allergic, she can take medication for her irritations.

That's not to say that I didn't shampoo my carpets and furniture, and keep the pets off them immediately before the visit. Get your son his kitten. He'll get more from the experience than he will loose if his aunt decides not to visit.

I'm a cat person, and allergic, but I have cats. One thing I found that helps is to keep the cats bathed regularly. It cuts down on their allergens. Also, keep the cat hair vacuumed up. I am even more allergic to dogs, and my family has dogs. What I found is that if they have one room of the house they keep the pets out of, that is the room I can stay in to visit.

I may get in trouble for this, but it also helps if your cat is a partial outdoor cat. We live in a low traffic area, and my cat is outside a lot, so there are less allergens in my house. However, some people believe you should not allow your cats out.

She's being unreasonable! WE have two cats and I have a cat allergy, with no problems. Because I keep our carpets vacuumed, hard floors clean, the cats brushed and clean, and I dont' allow them up by my face. As long as the house is clean and the cats stay brushed (and you can bathe them monthly too to keep the dander down), people visiting your house, unless they have an extremely rare dangerous allergy, won't be bothered by them. And if they are, they can pop a Zyrtec or similar allergy med before coming over.

Let your little guy get a cat, he will really enjoy it. Our boys love their cats and they have been a real joy to have around.