B.M. asks from Stamford, NY on June 13, 2007
Son Repeating First Grade
my son's school wants him to repeat first grade. My husband and I agree this should be done (but every fiber of my being tells me it's the wrong move) I'm afraid it will damage his self-esteem. We live in a VERY rural community where the entire k-12 is in one building. When my son's friends found out he was repeating first grade and they were going on to second grade they stopped talking to him. He has trouble with reading. He's in remedial reading at school and gets extra help. I'm also going to work with him over the summer but he's still staying in first grade. I need reassurance from other moms who have been through this to tell me everything will be ok.
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A.B. answers from Utica on June 17, 2007
had the same problem with my son in kindergarten. They wanted to hold him back because he was shy. I stuck to my guns and had him pushed ahead. The only reason he was shy was he got glasses in november that year and the other children would tease him. If you are feeling that bad about it why not sign him up for a tutoring program over the summer and push him ahead to 2nd grade. With extra one on one help he'll be ready for 2nd grade in the fall.
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C.D. answers from Buffalo on June 26, 2007
My advice is DON'T DO IT! I held my son back in second grade. That is the worst mistake I ever made. He already had to start a year later because his birthday is in Jan. It has been very hard for him to accept, he was teased relentlessly for it and all of his "friends" are a grade ahead of him. PLEASE work with your son over the summer or get him the extra one on one help he needs. He will catch up given the support he surely needs. My son had the very same problem with reading. He's now a great student. Hinesight is 20/20. I wish I could go back and change that mistake I made. Listen to your intuition, it's there for a reason don't ignore it. Good Luck!
S.P. answers from Scranton on June 17, 2007
Public school is ruining your sons self asteem, and not teaching him, like they should. If you want to help your son, teach him at home. I wish I had the program I have my son on now, when he was in kindergarten. I swear they never taught him anything in public school. He is in cyber school now, and he is learning alot. They are such good teachers, they work with the kids and the curriculum (by k-12) is excellent. He has graduated from 9th to 10th. They have all sorts of events to go to, like class trips. My sons school quit having holiday celebrations, class trips and anything fun. We are happy with the Agora cyber charter school he attends now, at home. For more info check out the curriculum web site, at www.k12.com and the schools web at www.agora.org They also have other schools listed on the k-12 site, if you aren't from PA. If you are from PA, the Agora is the best choice. If you are going to do this for next year though, you had better hurry, they are taking enrollment now. You never know how fast they are going to fill up. By the way it won't cost you a thing, and they send you a computer to use, and all kinds of other goodies for your child to learn with. They will also come out to your home and give you a demonstration. Good luck.
A.B. answers from Utica on June 17, 2007
had the same problem with my son in kindergarten. They wanted to hold him back because he was shy. I stuck to my guns and had him pushed ahead. The only reason he was shy was he got glasses in november that year and the other children would tease him. If you are feeling that bad about it why not sign him up for a tutoring program over the summer and push him ahead to 2nd grade. With extra one on one help he'll be ready for 2nd grade in the fall.
L.M. answers from Binghamton on July 31, 2007
Don't be afraid of your sons self asteem I felt the same way when my son repeated 1st grade, but after the first week of school he found new kids to play with and after that year was over he had no trouble once he got into the second grade, its better to hold him back then to let him struggle it puts more stress on him and the parents good luck
N.M. answers from Rochester on June 14, 2007
I can tell you from experience that it was the best thing that happened to me. I repeated second grade, after my parents and the school fought about me repeating first grade. I started school when i was 4 because i was turning 5 before Dec. 1st. Apparently i wasn't ready, and pre-school wasn't as big back then as it is now, so i don't think me or my sibilings even went. But if it needs to be done, it's better to do it earlier than later. The older they get, the harder it will be. THey are young, and it's not as big of a deal now as it would be when he's in 7th grade or something. By then he would be behind and struggling and it would be harder for him to try and catch up. He may not really understand now, but it will benefit him in the long run. And to be honest, i still had trouble in school even though i was held back. I did 100% better in college than i ever did in elementary and high school.... go figure :) Good luck, and i hope everything works out :)
H.V. answers from Jamestown on June 13, 2007
personally I don't think that it's such a big deal to repeat first grade. It's such a young age. He will be ok, especially with such support from his loving parents.
M.C. answers from Rochester on June 25, 2007
My son and daughter are behind in reading, theit school sent me a letter mid year and advised they may be held back due to the reading. They took saturday courses, for testing and he also is in a smaller reading group, he and his sister did pass the 3rd and 5 th grades. When did they let you know he would be held back? Did they offer him any extra help or any kind of summer program to prevent the repeat? My children are also goi ng to a summer school program that the school recommened them to attend. They attend a charter school though. I need me info about what notices and help they gave you.
A.H. answers from Buffalo on June 13, 2007
It's really okay to repeat first grade, i did when i was that young, but it also turned out that alot of kids repeated either kindergarden or first grade the same time i did, so it wasn't too big of a deal, i made new friends easily enough even though i was pretty shy at the time, don't worry he'll be alright.
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