Son Obsessed with Playing with Mommy's Hair

Updated on July 26, 2013
E.M. asks from Royal Oak, MI
31 answers

Is this strange?
My 20 month old son LOVES playing with my hair. I pick him up from day care and he immediately pulls my winter hat off and grabs my hair. Yesterday he ran in the house grabbed his blanket and pacifier, sat on the couch and said hair. He wanted me to sit with him so he could play with my hair. My hair is now the equivalent of a blanket!

Is this strange? It is not just a few times a week, it is all the time. It is cute but annoying at the same time. LOL

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Wow, I guess my son playing with my hair is not strange. I have noticed that it is a comfort thing as he does it when I rock him or read to him before nap/bed time.

Thank you for the responses!

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C.E.

answers from Detroit on

Cousin had this same issue - she ended up buying him a barbie doll... it worked! She was a little embarrassed about the boy/doll thing, but it freed her, and it did pass... Barbie is no longer at his side 24/7...

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A.H.

answers from Detroit on

My almost 5yo daughter likes to hold my hair for comfort still. Most of the kids I know have done the hair thing at some point, a few of the boys. So no it's not strange at all.
A. H

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W.P.

answers from Detroit on

When my son was little he used to have to play with my hair to fall asleep so no I don't think it is strange I know that it can be annoying at times but you will miss it when he grows out of it so my advice is enjoy it why you can!!

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K.K.

answers from Detroit on

Hey, my friend has a brother that's 11 years younger than her, so when they were growing up, he would do the same thing with her hair. He would even crawl into her bed when he wanted comfort and lay on her hair like a pillow. She thought it was the most endearing thing, and they continue to have a close relationship. He's about 14 or so now, and while he's still the sweet boy that would snuggle with her hair when he was little, he no longer feels the need to do it. So, I'm guessing at some point he'll quit when he's feeling more secure. It's simply a comfort thing.
Also my own son has his own little quirk with hair. He's 19 months now, and when his hair began to grow in the back into a little flip, he would stroke his own hair for comfort. Then when he turned 1 we got him his first haircut, so he couldn't do this anymore. Immediately after, he discovered his eyelashes, so he started touching them with his finger tips. So now he's still doing this throughout the day as comfort/habit. it's the cutest thing in the world though! We call it "doing the eye" and he even does it to us and we have a doing the eye exchange where he touches my eyelash while i touch his. It's really cute and I know one day he won't do it anymore, at least not all the time like now, so i'm really enjoying it while i can. Don't worry about it at all! Your son might continue to do this into his school years, but it will fade and eventually he won't need to anymore. It's really a good thing for the 2 of you and you should continue to encourage him to show affection like this. It might lead to a really good bond that will be crucial to his teen years. Enjoy your little boys sweetness before the rest of the world tries to beat it out of him.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from Grand Rapids on

My son just turned 3 and he has played with my hair ever since he was a baby. I am glad to know I am not alone in this. I agree sometimes it can get a bit annoying but for the most part I don't mind and find it cute. He mainly does it when he is tired. I agree that it is a security thing. We use this time to snuggle, talk, sing and read books. Good luck everyone. It is 8:30p.m. and my hair has a bedtime date - better get going!!

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S.J.

answers from Detroit on

My son Darrian does this still and he is 4 and 1/2 years old! He loves to play with my hair right before he goes to bed and while he is drinking his milk.. Yes sometimes it gets annoying but it is still kind of cute. He never had a pacifer, blanket, or favorite stuffed animal so I guess that is his security net. He does do it less and less the older he gets so don't worry I am sure it will stop eventually :)

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T.N.

answers from Detroit on

Hi E.,
It is not strange. Your hair is his "lovey". Just another transition item. My daughter did the same thing. I think how it happened is when I nursed her she became used to massaging my long hair. My hair was her transition item. With regards to your son, I would say you are lucky because he has other transition items like his blanket and pacifier. I'm sure that the need to feel your hair will be shorlived, but you might want to make sure that he has his other "lovies" with him and tie your hair back when you read or cuddle with him if it is bugging you.

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D.W.

answers from Detroit on

Hi
my son holds my hair too, he has since he was about 8 months and still does at night time and he is 4. I don't mind unless I am trying to go out, on a rare occasion and was able to spend some time on it. I think it soothes him for some reason. My older kids never did this and yes they grow up so fast, so I really don't mind.

My nephew also did this and he is 25 now and a great guy. It is definitely nothing to worry about.

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T.B.

answers from Detroit on

Your question made me smile! BOTH of my boys were totally compulsive about this. My older son would twist my hair until I had a headache. I thought it would never stop. They are 5 & 7 now and don't think twice about my hair. Sometimes when one of them is sick in bed with a fever they might reach for my hair and it brings back all of those wonderful baby memories. This is simply one way to self-sooth (much like sucking a thumb). Enjoy it or at least tolerate it because these days will fly by! Does your son suck him tonque too? My older son used to twirl my hair and move his tongue simultaneously. When I see a little one doing that now it melts my heart....

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C.V.

answers from Grand Rapids on

My son (he is 3) loves to hold on to my ear lobes. As soon as I pick him up he grabs ahold of them. My daughter, who is now 18, did the same thing. I think that it is like their security blanket. Just know that he won't be doing it forever...he will graduate from high school one day and you will wonder where the time went. (My other son is 23) As long as it does not bother you, I don't think it is strange... :)

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M.K.

answers from Detroit on

It's just his way of comforting himself. It sounds really cute. My son used to put his hand in my shirt to make sure "they" were "still there". Embarrassing but cute.

When he is doing it, before it becomes annoying, tell him to stop in 3 (or 5, or 7, etc) minutes. Then just cuddle him and talk about his day. He sounds like a sweet little boy.

This time that he wants to be with you is so short and passes so quickly. Cherish it with all your heart.

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J.A.

answers from Detroit on

E.,

My son is 27 months old and loves to play with my hair also. It it the first thing he likes to grab in the morning when we are sitting down for his cup of milk and he runs his hand thru it at night during his story time. I don't know what to tell you, he has loved mommy's soft hair for over a year. Enjoy it for now because the day will come when he will be too busy or to big to want to play with your hair. J.

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V.G.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I know that he is a little boy, but you are a mommy and need to do other things to do than have your hair played with (it does feel so good though), so my recommendation would be to get him a baby doll with, one with a lot of hair to play with. It could be that once he realizes he isn't going to get mommy's hair all the time that he finds a different comfort and gives up the doll - or plays with it for a while. I'm told that both of my uncles (they're twins) played with barbies and what have you with their older sisters (there are three).

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C.G.

answers from Detroit on

As long as he isn't hurting you, than enjoy the cuddle time. If he is hurting you, tell him it hurts and not to pull. Kids that age are old enough to know what an ouchie is and that you don't like it. Good Luck

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J.S.

answers from Lansing on

My son, who is now 7, loved to pet my hair as a baby and toddler too. It's just a stage. I think it's pretty common and I am sure he will grow out of it. I would just keep offering him alternatives to comfort himself such as a blanket.

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A.P.

answers from Detroit on

My son does the same thing. He's 3 and still loves it. He climbs into our bed in the morning so he can snuggle with me (which means play with my hair). He also does it to my mother and my mother-in-law. Everyone laughs and comments! I am really getting sick of it, especially because he really messes up my hair. At least at this point, I can tell him please don't- he'll listen for about 20 seconds and then go back to doing it. I'll just put him down or move away from him now. It's better than my younger son- who loves to pinch my skin- so it could be worse!

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

my 9 month old boys plays with my hair as he sucks his thumb.must be aboy thing..

my duaghter never did this she had her pacifier and that was it.

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N.W.

answers from Lansing on

Not at all. When my son was a baby I had long hair he'd wrap it around his finger as he ate. Since he had thick hair when he was tired he'd twirl his our around his finger for confort. He still does this when he is really tired he is six next week...it's just his quirk.

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E.B.

answers from Lansing on

I don't think it's strange. My 2 1/2 old daughter plays with our ear lobes just the same. She will feel her own if no one else is around. She mainly does it when she is tired or has her pacifier which is just at bedtime and naptime. I do believe it's a comfort thing and hopefully through time she will stop. I am not sure. I can understand that it is cute but annoying. Sorry, I guess I don't have any suggestions on how to get him to stop. I just wanted to share with you that I understand how you feel. (o:

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T.V.

answers from Detroit on

My grandson does this to my daughter all the time, and he's 2. He has always loved her thick hair. A friend of mine had long auburn hair that one of her sons was attached to, and when she wanted to cut it shorter, he freaked out. So her mom had her hair made into a pony tail that they attached to a rocking horse! Kinda weird, but he was happy! He's 5 now, and perfectly normal. :)

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A.H.

answers from Detroit on

My son loves when I tickle him with mine. I dare not cut it too short (as it already is for my job so it's not in the way). He loves to 'pet' it as it is soft and I think it is cute too.

I find nothing wrong as he is now three and has done this all his life. (My cat used to play in it too until I permed it years ago and then the smell turned her off! but I thought that was cute and funny, also.)

I love it when Drew wants to snuggle up and wind his little fingers in my hair as it helps to release my tension. I completely enjoy it! I would only have to say take it while it lasts as soon he will be too old and have no interest...
then you will miss it. (as now all those words of "enjoy these days now as they grow so fast REALLY ring true in my head.)

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C.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I have twins age 6 (boy/girl) and my son has always LOVED my hair. I can't ever say that he's asked for it, but when we're snuggling, he will play with it and rub it on his face some times. He tells me that he loves my hair and we giggle and I tell him that I love his hair, too and rub his head. I've always heard that there's nothing like a bond between a mother and her son. My daughter has never done this - she's just too busy playing to be bothered with snuggling, so I'm eating up all the hugging from my son. I would make sure you don't stop what you're doing to give him your hair, but if you're cuddling or reading to him (when he's on your lap, etc), you can let him play with your hair. Enjoy it if you can - they grow too fast.

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C.C.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I think its just a comfert thing. I had a friend whos baby girl did that, even in the car rides. Soon it went to just having to touch mommy some how... she's about 7 now and shes over it.

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W.M.

answers from Detroit on

E.,
This has to be one of the sweetest things I have heard of. Please take Carries advice, while snuggling or reading a book let him twirl his little fingers in your hair. They grow up way too fast.
When he stands taller then you one day and has to bend down to give you a hug, you'll have no regrets. Who knows maybe even then he'll do it! haha.
Awe...I wish mine were little again.
~W.

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M.D.

answers from Detroit on

E.-

My 16 month old son LOVES to play with my hair too! It helps calm him and he will fall asleep doing it! So maybe it is pretty normal??? My son does not have much hair of his own yet so maybe when he gets some he will do the same to his??

Take care! M.

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M.G.

answers from New York on

I'm glad I seen your little article thing I thought I was the only one out there with a kid that has a strange habit.My son is now 3 his name is Nikolai,since he was about 6 months he relied on my hair to fall asleep he eventually fell asleep on his own.I was a single mom up until a year ago so all my babies slept with me but now he has his own room and bed he falls asleep fine but till this day he kisses my,plays with it when were watching a movie.He even tells me he loves my hair.Sorry I'm very late I just decided to google it and you popped up lol id say enjoy it because you will miss it one day

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S.R.

answers from Detroit on

My son started twirling his fingers in my hair as soon as he could grab something in his hand while I fed him. When he was about a year old I had my hair cut short. I'd get a kink in my neck leaning down to him, so I started gently moving his hand to his own hair without saying anything, and still sitting close. He twirled it for years. I think he still does when he's reading. He's 13 now. He was younger than your son, so I don't know if he'll go for that. Good luck!

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A.R.

answers from Lansing on

I suggest giving him a hair brush (after you have brushed all the snarls out) and let him brush your hair. That feels so good!!!!!!!! ;-)

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A.M.

answers from Detroit on

Hello!
Did he play with your hair when you nursed him or gave him the bottle? If so, it's his comfort. I know this because...ugh! My daughter used to play with my other breast when she was nursing. It sounds weird, but I never even noticed it. Now she is 6 and still uses my breast as her comfort when we lay down. It drives me nuts! I take her hand away, but it still finds its way there. I hope she grows out of it soon!!! You have it better than me since it is your hair that he likes. I'd try and stop it gently and give him a substitute, like a blanket or stuffed animal.

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M.B.

answers from Saginaw on

My daughter has used my hair as a security blanket ever since she was 6 months old (she is 19 months now)she also sucks her thumb. It started when I was nursing her. Now, she won't go to sleep without it so I have to lay next to her until she is asleep and I can sneek my hair out of her grip. When she wakes in the middle of the night I go into her room and repeat the process again. It usually takes 30 to 45 min for her to fall asleep. I would like to sleep train her but know that I will have to wean her off my hair first. I don't know what to do, a substitute won't work. I'm afraid I will be doing this until she is an adult! lol :) It was cute at first but now I wish I had steered her away from my hair and into the arms of a lovey! It does help to hear I am not the only one and that other children are obsessed with mommy's hair, thank you for writing in!

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L.N.

answers from Benton Harbor on

Well, my kids don't play with my hair...but my husband does...in church, watching tv, in the car, at dinner...you get the picture. I don't even notice it anymore, but everyone else thinks it's so cute! So, I guess the answer is he may outgrow it, but he may need to marry a long-haired girl!! LOL

~L.

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