Son May Have OCD

Updated on November 02, 2007
T.D. asks from Blair, NE
14 answers

I just had a teacher conference and was told my son may have OCD. He is almost ten years old and has had some quirks that we were always curious about. At school he is well behaved and a great student, but at home is totally opposite. In school he will clean the pencil marks that other students leave behind on the sharpener. At home he will pace, walk in circles, and move his hands rapidly when excited. I was wondering if anyone can give me some insight into this disorder and how or what can be done. We will be setting up meetings in the next two weeks. I just want to know what to expect and how to cope with calming him down while he is at home. The crying and over reactions over minor things are challenging and I dont know what to do to get him thru it. Are there changes in the home itself that causes the attitude change or can I make changes in the home to help? I am at aloss here. Thank you for any help.

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So What Happened?

Sorry to take so long to give an update and another thank you for all of the responses. My husband and myself did a survey over the observations of our son. The teacher did the same thing and the three were averaged out. He does show some OCD tendencies, but is borderline for Aspergers Disorder. Right now they will not label him officially of having that, but will closely monitor him for the next year and see what happens. In the mean time we were given some information on a book to read to get some more insight on the disorder and come back with any further issues or concerns. We are also going to try to have more "structured" in the home to see if that may help as well. If that doesnt seem to help then we may pursue this further. So will keep you posted. Again many thanks for the information given and support.

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A.G.

answers from Grand Rapids on

try this web site http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive-compulsive_disorder i use wikipedia for a lot of things

hope it works
A.

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L.M.

answers from Benton Harbor on

T., I was reading you question and got the chills. To me it does not sound like OCD. My daughter whom will be 11 in January has alot of the same symptoms. The walking on circles (we used to joke about it but it is her thing to do and as long as she only does it at home we are ok with it because she talks to herself or in herwords "makes up stories".) The hands when excited, she has always done, anyone thatknows Kyla loves her twitching fingers when she can't stand it! The overacting over little things is what I hate. She freaks out if I didn't was her gym uniform, or she can't sleep because she forgot her science book and she'll get into trouble. I say hurry up in the morning and itis the end of the world! I had a change in evening plans and she goes buzurk if it was not what was origionaly planned. Kyla has Septo Optic Dysplasia which is a visual defect. She is leagally blind and has to be monitored on an annual basis by an endocrinologist for hormone deficencies. However, when we were concerned about these "symptoms" i had her tested for autism and she has 4 of the 10 symptoms. You need 7 to be concidered and 4 is borderline. So we have always associated her things with that. There is really nothing you can do. He is who he is, and you just have to do the best you can to help him adjust to change easier. It is not easy but your son is alittle younger than Kyla and she is getting a little better! lol I am not a DR. in anyway, best to check all avenues, but I think he will be fine, he's just different, and that is what makes them special!
Good luck and let me know whatthey come up with,

L.

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M.J.

answers from Madison on

Sometimes a child will thrive in a structured setting and then struggle with an unstructured one. I would have him tested by a private firm if you have the ability. I had my son tested that way because at the time the contract from the school had a clause that said I would have to adhere to the advice given by the school as far as drugs and learning techniques. I wanted the freedom to make those dicisions as his parent without restrictions imposed by the school. There are several posibilities with those behaviors you discribe. Find a reputable office that is well respected to look into this. Labels are sometimes imposed on children befor it's confirmed what's wrong. Don't jump the gun on what it is until you have a diagnosis by a Dr. Teachers are not qualified to do that. All the teacher should be saying is that there is a possible problem that needs to be checked out. I will be praying to Jeus for your issue and you and your son.

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C.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hi T., my husband and son were diagnosed with OCD about 7 years ago. What was most helpful was the therapy and the medicine to treat it. OCD is different in every person. No two people are alike. My husband and son had more of the obsessive thoughts, than the physical stuff (like handwashing). That made it even harder on me to know what the heck was going on with them. I suspect my daughter may have it also, but she is in denial. She has terrible anxiety, and anxiety attacks.Many who have this try to treat it themselves because they are so embarassed by it. So my husband drank and after about three drinks started to be a not very nice person. But the way he drank was obsessively. So he was also diagnosed with alchoholism. OCD can take over ones life. The Dr. told us when it starts to interfere with relationships, thats when you know it is time to get help with it. With my son, it started to interfere with his friend relationships as well as with us at home. If you really want to understand this disorder, read, read, read and go to a Phsychiatrist right off the bat. With our case, I strongly feel it is in the blood lines on my husbands side. I hope I have helped even a little....best wishes to you and your son. C.

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T.B.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi T.,

I think it's very important to have your son tested for OCD, but I would also like to suggest that you have him tested for Asperger's Syndrome. Two of my friends' sons have this condition, and your sons symptoms sound like what I have observed in both of them. Especially if he has any social or emotional issues, such as blurting out things without thinking, or detachment.

I wish you both the best of luck!

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J.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Hi T.,
I have a son with ADHD, I don’t know much about anything so please take my words with a grain of salt. But In my efforts to learn about his ADHD I came across an article written by Jenny McCarthy that she described some of the characteristics that sound similar to the ones you described, I can't for the life of me find that article on the internet although I found a bunch of articles with her speaking, just not this one where she spoke clearly of the symptoms and her reaction to it. So I found this instead. Like I say, I don’t know anything, I just thought I'd pass this along incase it may be some benefit to you. I'd definitely see a professional to see what’s up.

http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/mental-health-autism

Good Luck to you and your son.

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S.S.

answers from Omaha on

As bad as I hate to say, that sounds normal. I was told by the school and others that my son was ADHD And OCD last year, they got us in a special program that got us some help. I never thought there was anythign wrong with my son, but everyone else was telling me there was. We have now had him tested for EVERYTHING, and there is nothing wrong with him but a high IQ. He cries easily and gets excited easily, these are really reflections of my choice of parenting rather than something "wrong" with him. Good luck, I know how frustrating it can be. The best thing to calm my son I have found, is for me to stay calm. I get down to his level, lower my voice to a whisper and talk to him, he normally repsonds appropriatly

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W.D.

answers from Lincoln on

I would maybe talk to his doctor or a therapist. My therapist told me that everybody had a bit of OCD, but only a few actually have it bad enough that it effects their everyday lives. The erasing pencil marks is very minor and I would just let that be. But the stuff at home, like I said maybe start with his doctor. If thats what he does sometimes there is no changing the habits. i have a few OCD tendencies (thats why i asked my therapist) but mine don't effect my dailylife (its a stupid thing actually lol).

Good Luck!
W.
www.ubah.com/P2249

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T.H.

answers from Milwaukee on

I would start with the pediatrician and a referral to a psychologist. Keep a journal of when he gets upset and what caused it so you know where to start. I have a son with autism who is very particular about a lot of things, so if you have anything specific you'd like ideas for, feel free to send me a PM.

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R.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Hi T.,

I have read your request as well as the responses so far.

I, myself, have been diagonsed with OCD. I actually started living with the symptoms earlier then age 12 (I am 33 now). I had no clue what OCD was. I knew there was something wrong with me, but I didn't know what. I was so ashamed of what was happening, that I did everything I could to hide it. It is good that you are aware of this condition so that you can help your son. It wasn't until I was apx. 22 that I got an official diagonsis from a psychiatrist. When I got my diagonsis, I was so relieved because the doctor knew what it was and stated that he had seen many other people like this. The very next thing I did was read some books. The one I remember well is "The Boy Who Couldn't Stop Washing." Although this book was published quite some time ago, it gave me really good insight. After reading it, I felt much, much better. Now I knew I wasn't alone.

As some others have suggested, make sure you have a doctor's diagonsis over a teachers. Also, others have said that we all have a little bit of OCD. I do believe this myself. It becomes OCD when there is a lot of anxities assoicated with the "normal" things that a lot of people do.

The good news is, this can be managed, if indeed your son does have this. I have hardly any symptoms left now. There is also a lot research and information available now compared to when I was first diagonsed. Try nami.org to read more about this.

It is important to be patient with your son. Although his behaviors may seem small and you just may want him to stop, it is not the easy for a person with OCD to "just stop". I tried for years to "just stop" it's not that easy. The book I suggested explains that into more detail.

I know this is quite lengthy. There is still a lot more that I could tell you about this. If you'd like, send me a personal message and I will answer any questions you may have. As someone who has been diagonsed with this, I can explain things to you from my point of view, if you'd like.

R.

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S.P.

answers from Great Falls on

Read up on the the disorder and get some help from a therapist. Some people need meds for to help keep him calm. My son has ADHD and does a lot of pacing and picks his skin. He talks to himself and is always in motion. I have him on meds and in therapy. This year he is doing really well in school. Good Luck!!!!

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

I think, before you can really help him, you have to know were his ocd is coming from, and it does sound like he has it, is his germs or is it structural and by that I mean is it everything has a place and needs to be in proper order, I have 7 kids and a couple of them have some ocd like issues, My 16 year old (who does have some learning problems) can't handle anything out of place and doesn't like his stuff touched, we have allowed his room to be his haven, he does share it with his brother but the brother tries to work with him and leaves his stuff alone we also have little ones and they are notorious for going through his things when this happens we send him into his room for a few minutes, cool down time, then I go in and talk to him and have to repeat that his stuff is ok, that thier touching it didn't hurt anything, and for me and him it is repetative. We have been able to manage it but not control it and that is what your son will have to learn. As to my 15 year old daughter, she is a germaphobe, lives her life by a bottle of germ ex, it doesn't control her life completely but it is something she is always thinking about. I think I rambled I guess what I am saying is find out his triggers and work with a therapist to help him manage the condition, thankfully it was discovered early and not just dicounted as quirky, he'll do fine.

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L.N.

answers from Benton Harbor on

T.~
It is my understanding that everybody has obsessive streaks, some worse than others. Still in other cases it can be much more severe, as you know. I don't mean to downplay your concern, but his behavior makes him feel better, so first of all don't fight it and don't make him feel like he is any different than anybody else. But relax around him and don't obsess about his obsessing. I have to say, though, that go with your doc...and rely on what they say much more heavily than you do anything that you find on this site. Sure people have great suggestions and helpful hints, but your doc needs to be the first line of information.

Good luck to you and him, I hope it's just his personality and won't affect his life. He'll build his life around his compulsions and be just fine.

~L.

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S.M.

answers from Madison on

OCD may be part of it but I am a mother of a nine year old high functioning autistic by. Sounds to me like he should be tested for that. Everything sounds way too similar.

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