Socializing at Christmas

Things are open on Christmas day. Keep in mind that there are other religions living in this country too that don't celebrate christmas. The movie theaters are open. Some restaurants are open. If you want to try to do some community service, the nursing homes are a wonderful place to start. Homeless shelters. Or just turn on some old Christmas movies, snuggle up in your pj's and slippers and sip on some hot cocoa with your immediate family. And rejoice in the peace. Just because it's different doesn't mean it's bad. Give it a try. :o)

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I'm going through the same thing with my husband, only it's the other way around. I grew up with a very personal, family Christmas. We would meet with extended family late in the day but the morning and early afternoon was our time together. We all enjoyed each other's company and the chance to slow down after all the stressful planning and shopping before Christmas day. My husband, on the other hand, is used to meeting with every family member and friend and community member for Christmas. It's a week-long process of visiting and sharing. It's really nice to see people, but it doesn't feel like quality time to me. He is totally oblivious to my desire to stay home on Christmas. In fact, he would probably think I'm crazy if I told him that's what I want. His extended family is very important to him. I imagine you feel the same way. So...kudos to you for trying something new!

-T.

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You are not being unreasonable. Christmas is a time for sharing and being together with one another.
I think to me it sounds as if you husband hasn't met anyone outside the home that he like or wants to hang out with. Some guys are like that.
Do you have girl friends with husbands? Maybe you could invite them over for game night one Friday or Saturday night and hang out and the guys can get to know each other in a more comfortable atmosphere.
We spend Christmas day at home I make most of the casserole's and Creme Brulee' french toast the night before so I just have to throw it in the oven when we get up and start the coffee.
Then after we are done opening presents we eat and hang out playing with all of our stuff for the rest of the day and eat left overs from our Big Christmas Eve dinner.
You do what you guys want to do and have fun.
Merry Christmas

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How about nursing homes? They are open and I'm sure packed full of folks who are feeling lonely for the holidays and could use some love. Maybe make something with the kids to bring to the nursing home and hand out. Not sure how old your kids are...

You would probably need to check with the nursing homes first.

Enjoy your holiday!
A.

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Some bowling alleys are also open on Christmas day.

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I too like being with family but I also like to have a nice christmas with just my family. My husband always likes to have extended family which I like too but I would like to have at least one Christmas with such us like I did as a child. It is special no matter how you choose to celebrate or where as long as you are together. Remember what Christmas is really about. It is not about being at a party or somewhere out of town. Each this time together as a family and make it special. You guys can sing song or do something special as a family. And then next year do your think the extended family. if you open up your mind you might be surprised to find out you are going to have a great christmas just you guys. Go into it with an open mind and try out his idea for once. Have a great Christmas!

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I don't see anything wrong with either choice, I think it's a personality thing. I've always been fine with it just being us. My husband likes the big crowds. In fact, HE was the one who wanted to drive up north (14 hours away) to spend Christmas with my family. There will be about 40 of us together on Christmas Day.

FL seems full of small families. Are there any small families in your church, your neighborhood, or work? I think looking for elderly neighbors is a great idea too. One year we knew of two other small families that were just staying home. One had 2 kids and the other didn't have any. We invited all of them over. We had that morning to spend with the kids opening presents and playing. Everybody else also had their time together at home. Then we all got together later in the day. We threw some steaks on the grill and had a lot of fun.

L.

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Just an idea for you. Your family could go to ICE at Gaylord Palms. It is open Christmas day. It isn't too expensive. They have caroling, hot chocolate, a stage performance, and a gnome hunt as well at the hotel. Your family could be together, yet out, in this winter wonderland. Enjoy however you spend the day.

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The movies! My husband and I are planning to take our 3 kids to the movies on Christmas Day to see Alvin and the Chipmunks. Then out to dinner (there are some places open). We did a big family thing for Thanksgiving and we have big plans for Easter. It's not fair to pressure your husband if he doesn't want to go to peoples houses. Think about, if he gives in you'll be happy but he won't.....Dessert with the nieghbors sounds like a fair comprimise. You are spending Christmas with family, the best part, yours! Go all out for them! I think starting a new tradition is wonderful.

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K.,

I too live away from immediate family members. It is hard not being with them on the Holidays. I have been in FL for 21 years now and still miss being with them. You are not being selfish wanting to have a tradition on the Holidays.

There is places that would welcome your help on Christmas. There is the salvation army downtown Tampa, Metropolitan Ministries I would just call before hand, don't just show up. The children have to be a certain age before they allow the kids to come in.

Showing love and sharing with others will make you feel good and make an impact on those you do something for. We had an elderly lady who was alone in our neighborhood on the Holidays whom we would take a Christmas plate of food with desert and that meant so much to her. She talked about it for weeks afterwards. Starting a tradition helps with not being with the family, and doing something for someone else helps. Also there is all kinds of people on craigslist that need help, I think that the angel tree is already too late this year. There is children homes. Another area is to ask your church who may be needing help during the holidays. The church always has individuals who ask for help during the holidays.

Just doing something for someone else will help your Christmas spirit and make someone elses Christmas.

Merry Christmas,
Kathy

I know its to late this year, but maybe next year you could host Christmas and invite both your families to your house. My Grandmother hosted Christmas every year, she pasted away this year. Now instead of all my Aunts and their kids, my mom and her, My Mom is gonna host Christmas for all of her children and Grandchildren this year.
There are usually soup kitchens open on Christmases and they can always use more help as you said.
For me it is hard this year to get into the spirit. For me though its the weather and family. I just came down from Michigan last month and left half my family up there. I miss them and the snow.

Your husband sounds like mine. I guess after so many years we learn to adjust.

I totally understand where you are coming from. My husband and I moved here nearly 10 years ago and now have a 3 yr old son. Every year we have traveled north to visit with our families through the Christmas and New year holidays. This year we are staying home, mostly because I am pregnant and my son and I always get extremely ill when we fly up north. I am excited about the whole stay at home with our son and have santa here concept. BUT I am also melancholy at times. Certain Christmas songs make me cry, sometimes shopping I get sad because I am doing to alone without my mom, I bawled while make christmas cookies because I always did this with family. Christmas is a joyous season, but it is also a hard season to be alone. And NO we are not alone, we have our children and our husbands, but we do not have our family. At times that can be a very londely thought. You are not selfish for wanting to share your holidays and happiness with other people. The joy of Christmas is ALL about sharing. Just remember we are allowed to be sad AND be happy at the same time.

T.

P.S. remember we live in the tourist capital of the country! Just head toward Orlando EVERYTHING is open on Christmas!!!

Sounds like Shrek Christmas, not sure if you saw it. I think it's natural to want to spend Christmas with family and friends. But, I think if your husband works a lot and isn't home a lot. I can see his point in wanting to spend it at home. You somehow just have to find a middle ground. Maybe you can even alternate. Good luck.

K.,

My husband is the same way!!! He doesn't want to be with our family or friends. Wants it to be just us! lol It's just the 3 of us, and I honestly just feel like it would be just another day with a few gifts to open! I didn't go through putting up all these decorations for that! lol

Growing up, we had a Christmas tradition. My parents would take us to the movies. lol It's the one day of the year, that the movies are cheaper and there aren't alot of people there. On warm Christmas's we would go to the beach and find all the pretty shells we could, at the St. Augustine beach(which is actually about 3 hrs from our home) and when we came home, we would make a jar of memories. And put as many shells as we could in the jar and then we would get old picture frames and hotglue them onto them, put our Christmas pictures in them and send them to our family out of state, so that they could not only have a picture but could see what we'd found on our Christmas adventures. My parents still have every jar that we have ever collected and up until my Grandma passed away she had our picture frames up in her house. She was always so excited and proud of them. When people would come over, she would always talk about them.

I know it's hard to be a social person but have a spouse who could care less about socializing! Just make the best of it, remember that this holiday is about friends and family and about having a great time! Life is too short to be upset about the small things. Make this Christmas your own, start a new tradition. Next year go see family, if possible. Just make the best out of the season!!

Hope it helps a little.