Social Security - Negaunee,MI

My Mom put every penny of child support she got from our Dad into the bank. We did without a lot over the years but when it came time for collage it was paid for. When we got our degrees we entered the work force debt free. Now THAT was planning ahead and the best gift my Mom could have given us.
Your new husband needs to provide for his 6 kids and you need to keep the SS money for your daughter for your daughter alone. If you misuse it, she might be able to sue you when she becomes an adult.

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You seem as though you are looking for validation from message boards to spend the money on yourself. It's not about getting everything she wants but you being responsible with the money and making sure it's there when she needs it. How would you feel is she asked for it one day and it wasn't there? If your ex didn't die what would you have done with things you needed fixing? Continue on that path. You didn't hit the lottery so don't use it as such.

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I believe it should be used the same as a regular child support payment, because that is basically what it is intended for. It is to support the cost of raising a child that the deceased left behind. I would use it for household expenses, but also set aside a fixed amount like 10 percent to go into a trust fund for her for college, a wedding, etc. I think that it is acceptable to buy a new dryer or fix your car, as those are things that are necessary for you to continue to meet her needs. I do not believe the money should be seen as "hers", because you would not treat a child support payment as such. I am sorry for your loss and wish you the best.

From the Social Security Administration Website:
"About 3.8 million children receive approximately $1.6 billion each month because one or both of their parents are disabled, retired or deceased. Those dollars help to provide the necessities of life for family members and help to make it possible for those children to complete high school. When a parent becomes disabled or dies, Social Security benefits help to stabilize the family’s financial future."-http://ssa.gov/pubs/10085.html

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Were you receiving child support? I would love to tell you to have ALL the money directly deposited into an account for her that cannot be touched by anyone till she's 18 (when SS will stop), but some of this money should be used as child support. So I would say use 25% as child support & 75% into a non-touchable account.

BUT under no circumstance at all should this money be used to buy/fix a car, buy a new dryer, or be used as 'extra money'. Be a smart momma about this money.

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It's your daughter's money from her dad. It isn't yours or anybody else's.

Was he paying child support? If so, then I would consider this an extension of that and any extra should be put aside for her to use for college.

You can't honestly use it for a new car or a dryer.

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That money is hers, not yours, not your hubby's, not your joint kids. It's hers. Take a small child support percent, and then put the rest in an account.

Please do not use it to fix your car or dryer. It isn't your new piggy bank, it's your daughter's inheritance.

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I have a friend who had the same situation. Her attorney told her to keep track of the money, how it's spent and to make sure the money spent was for her son. She might use it to pay his cel phone bill, but I believe she saves most of it for college.
It's a very thin line b/c theoretically, you could use that money to pay utility bills, rent, etc and then take vacations with your spouse b/c technically, you used your daughter's money to use things that "benefit her" (heat, phone, groceries, etc.) Yet that example is obviously morally wrong.
I think if you use the standard of common sense and good morals, you will use the money wisely.
So, yes, while I think it's OK to "free up some of YOUR money" for car repairs, washer, etc. I don't think that this child should have her money used for general support of 5 other children, if you know what I mean.

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It is not your money.............

It is your daughter's money from her father. NOT money owed to you or any of the 6 kids you now provide for UNLESS they are the child of this man who died.

You are married, moved on and you do not have a "right" to the money... Do the right thing.... it is your daughter's money for education and God forbid if you use it "in her best interests and she ends up with nothing". I hope you have taught her well and she understands saving, delayed gratification and the reason the money is rightly hers.

I apologize if I was too abrubt but this sends chills through me to think someone would willingly justify taking money that is solely for a child and using it for their personal gain to pay off debt or whatever. It is not your money.

YOUR job is to make sure she has this money which is due to her for support, etc. Get with an advisor and set it up so this money is ONLY allocated to her.

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that money is to be used to raise your child-whether it be food,clothes,gas bill,fixing the car etc.it all goes hand in hand...good luck

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Honestly, Your kids (including the beneficiary of the SS) need you to have a reliable car, dry clothes etc. That is all part of the cost of raising kids. Don't start getting luxury items either though. Open a savings or trust acct for her. Nothing you can regularly get into. Use some of the funds to support her -- which means your whole household since you can't really separate the two-- and anything EXTRA goes into her long term savings. I believe it cuts off when she's 18 so talk to a financial advisor about how much you need to set aside monthly to make sure there is enough for her college for sure!!

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That money stops at 18 so think very carefully how you spend it.
My friend's daughter just got Social Security for her kids and I am in shock at the way she's spent it. She bought the second grader a lap top.
She bought the "second grader" a lap top. There was a trip and a new car and step dad doesn't work. It's kind of upsetting.
I don't want to sound mean, but your child is the one who lost her father. That is why the money is coming. I don't know to what extent it's right to spend it on children who still have their father who can contribute to raising them.
Or supporting the family he took on in marriage.
I don't know how much you get per month, but budget as you would with anything else. What is the first priority? Can you save and get a good used dryer that will benefit the whole family and last for a long time?
Does your car need a new transmission to get it running?
You might consider taking half of it per month and putting it in an account that can grow interest in case she needs braces or something like that.
College is a biggie. Senior photos and yearbooks, caps and gowns are so expensive.
You should be sure you have the money set aside so that she can have all those types of things. Those aren't frivolous by any means.

She might not have been close with her dad, but keep in mind that he can't ever come back to try to reconcile. There won't ever be a birthday card with a check in it for her.
Just be wise and perhaps see a financial planner.

Best wishes.

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You should treat the social security as you would child support. You need a clothes dryer to dry her clothes so purchase one. You need a vehicle to get her around so make sure you have one. She should not be treated any differently than the other kids you have. She should get only stuff they would get. Save where you can for family vacations, emergencies, etc.

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Actually Social Security has very specific guidelines for how the money is to be spent, and the types of accounts the money should be deposited into and saved in. Please check their website for specifics or go to a local office so they can answer specific questions for you. I am dealing with Social Security right now because I am my mother's power of attorney and she receives SS benefits. I am called the Representative Payee for her since I handle her money and I believe that is what you would be called also. They have specific information on what the money is to be spent on and if funds are used improperly you have to pay them back. It states in the booklet that if you are unsure on how to spend the money ask first. They also have a form you need to fill out listing the benefits received and how they were spent it is a SSA-623 form. Please find out the specifics from SS before you spend it may save you headaches in the long run.

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I agree the money is for your daughter, but you need a dryer and a car that runs. You could get a new dryer and fix the car then repay the money a little at a time. I would also put at least $100/month away for her college education. All of the kids need to be treated fairly, just because your daughter is getting the SS she should not get everything she wants and the other kids not get things. Her dad will not be there to help pay for her education or her wedding. Some of this money should be put aside to pay for those big events.

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does she already know that you will be receiving this money? If not, don't tell her. use it to raise her and send her to college. It's not meant to be spent on her every whim. If it were my kids, I'd not even tell them about it.

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I am shocked at the people who think all this money should be put aside for her to be used when she is an adult. To be honest if that were the case SS would wait until she were an adult and give it to her then.

Someone said to use common sense, I agree completely. A college fund with a percentage of the money added to it is a great idea!

The fact that you ask the question tells me you are a good Mother looking out for your child's best interest. Use what you need for your childs necessities, give yourself some financial breathing room and save some of the money and you will be doing your best for your child (which is all anyone can ask of a parent).

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It is for helping to cover some of the expensives of raising her. But since it is the last thing she will ever recieve from her father I would put 50-75% away in a savings account for college, and have 25-50% go towards her monthly expenses.

If he wasn't paying child support then I would go out and get a new dryer and fix the car. Only because the ss will be helping to pay for the eletric, gas, water, food and other bills that he should have been helping with. So you wouldn't be using the ss but the extra money you get from his help (ss) with her expenses.

If he was paying child support then I wouldn't use any of the money to fix the car or get a new dryer. I would wait until taxes came back and use that money.

Buy the dryer. Yes the money "is hers" but this is something you will use for her care too! When my daughter was receiving disability I had a separate checking account in her name (jane doe guardian for janey doe - that way it was clearly for her as I had to do a yearly financial review type thing where her disability went). If you set this up, then you could save for her, but then also have access to money for her doctor's bills, school expenses, clothes... I like what some posts said to set aside a set amount whether it be 10 % or 25% for her expenses. (and I owe my daughter from 10 years ago $1500 when I needed a new car could afford the payments but not the licensing of a newer used reliable car. I've used that car now for 10 years to transport her places and get to work so that I have a paycheck to buy food and pay rent and buy her clothes pay the dr). We do what we need to do for our children. I wouldn't go overboard. A dryer yes. A 2011 brand new $30,000 car no. But a $1000 car repair yes. A new wii or whatever just because no - for her birthday yes. Then you can be back on track to take care of her needs and save for her future!!

It's for the help in caring for her. Caring for her means home, electricity, heat, air, a car to travel in food to eat, clothes for her back... Everything for her. So spend it as you please. I'm sure you take great care of your children if you are concerned about that. So save for her college education if you can and the rest put towards the care of the family.

My mother passed away when I was 13 so my Father received social security benefits for my both my sister and I. Now this was over 30 years ago, so the rules may have changed. But, the purpose of these benefits is to help support the child.

Treat it the way you would treat child support. The child support that I receive from my son's father is "for" my son, but goes into my general checking account and is applied towards normal, monthly household expenses. Providing a home, food, electricity, clothing etc. is what these benefits are for. You need a vehicle to transport your daughter to school etc., and you need a dryer to wash her clothing - I think these are legitimate expenses. I mean, don't go out and buy a Hummer - but you know what I mean.

It would be great if you could put some away into a mutual fund every month for later college (or orthodontic, or summer camp) expenses. Check out the link that Betty O. provided and use common sense and you'll be fine.

Also, keep the lines of communication open with your daughter about her Dad's death. Sometimes we children who have lost a parent seem fine but are really hurting inside.

God Bless.

Social Security makes you submit a report about how you spend the money. The money is for her and her only. You should be using it on her expenses and also be putting money aside for college. You didnt mention her age, but I believe if she is under 16 you also may be able to get extra money. SS doesnt give you much guidance but use for clothes, food, school activities, doctore etc. I have been told that you cannot use for mortgage.

That money is money that is meant to help support your daughter, this does include rent, school supplies, food, whatever child support would cover. If you don't need it then by all means put it aside for your daughter but if you need it, that is what it is for. Did he pay you child support while alive? How did you use that? This would be the same. If it would make you feel better, put away 25% of it in a savings account and CD's for your daughter and leave that alone to help pay for college or to get her a car when she is older.

My son died in June and his wife gets social security and widows benifits and I tell her the same thing.

I would treat this 'extra money' like child support. You use it to raise your child. As long as you're spending it on stuff she needs (food, shelter, clothes, school, etc) then I wouldn't feel bad about it. Try and put away what you can for when she's an adult, but if the money's there and you *need* it, use it.

You don't think she should you this as "extra" spend money, yet you want to do exactly that and fix your car and dryer?

As others suggested, take a small percent out (25%) for child support and the rest should go straight to the bank. It is her money to use as she sees fit after she turns 18.

Best of luck to you

My daughter receives Soc Sec money because her father is disabled. We are required to prove to the SS administration that we are saving a portion of the money in her name for her future. I would suggest contacting the SS office to find out what reporting requirements this money comes with. The rest of our daughter's money goes for her support (clothes, lessons, medical expenses, etc.) we do not raid her account for our household needs.

So, I'm siding with those who have said that this is HER money. And, of course she shouldn't get everything she wants. A percentage could be used for her current needs (school supplies, medical expenses, school clothing, etc.), but when she turns 18 there should be a savings account in her name that can be used for college/ tech school. She won't care then that you needed a new clothes dryer years before. Her money should NOT be used to provide for your other five children, those are yours and your husband's responsibility to support.

If you're not sure that she can be trusted at 18 to use her money wisely, there are accounts that can be set up for children that leave you in charge until they are 21. Check with a financial planner about options.

I'm going to give you a very honest answer! If your dryer goes out, then how will that affect your daughter - she needs clean clothes. If your vehicle needs to be fixed how will that affect your daughter? She will have to walk or take a bus to school, etc.... As long as that extra money isn't being used for your own entertainment and it goes toward your daughter's well being then it's an honest use of the money that is meant for her! If it's a necessity and it will affect her life then you should use it toward that necessity. Now, I believe the money first should be spent on her own basic needs, but what is left over should be on the needs of the family that affect her.

I think you may need to consult with a financial adviser or estate lawyer. My cousins lost their parents at a young age and their money was managed by a lawyer until age 21. Their situation was more complicated since they had no living parents (1 relative was their legal guardian and 2 others raised them). In that case the relatives raising them submitted various bills (school tuition, clothes, travel) to the lawyer to have them paid. I'm not sure if they got a set monthly amount for household expenses like food as well.

In an ideal world it would be nice to be able to save all the money for your daughter. I would save as much as you can (at least put a set amount in savings every month). But is not unusual to have to use some of that money for things your child needs (it is intended to be similar to child support I think). I would definitely keep records and try to keep things relatively even between the kids in the family.

i would honestly say use it to repair your car, with out your car how are you going to take her to doctor appointment's and school. also either get a GOOD used dryer or a new one after saving to where you can do her laundry and every one else's. if there is some thing that needs repaired then fix it. this is what my parents were told for my nephews ------ divide the bills either 2 ways or 3 ways and that is how much you are able to use for bills. so since one of them gets about 650 a month my parents are allowed to use about 325 for their "half of the bills". SS works words not ours.

Well, it should be spent on her. She needs to eat, have co-pays at the doctors office and clothing for school along with all the "fees" schools come up with now (I am sure you can think of more things that money can go to that only she uses but are not "extras"). So that money can go to that. I would put it in a separate account that can pay for her school lunch and and other things she needs to grow up. That way if she ever questions where "her" money went when she is 16 and wants a car, she can be pointed to that account with all the lovely paperwork showing where every dime was spent and told, "to raising you!" As such that money that you end up not having to spend on her can be spent on the family like repairing cars and getting new driers. So how much of the food budget is hers? I would take the cost of food for a month and divide it by 8 (6 kids plus 2 adults) and have the SS pay that much.

Here are a few links on the SSA's site that mightbe helpful:

http://www.socialsecurity.gov/payee/faqrep.htm

http://www.socialsecurity.gov/payee/LessonPlan-2005-2.htm

Below is also from the SSA site.

What Is the Proper Use of Benefits?

Benefits should be used for current needs such as food, clothing, shelter, utilities, dental and medical care and personal comfort items, or reasonably foreseeable needs. If not needed for these purposes, the benefits must be conserved or invested on behalf of the beneficiary. Where the beneficiary has unmet current maintenance needs, saving benefits serves little purpose and would not be in the beneficiary's best interests.

A payee must use benefits in the best interests of the beneficiary, according to his/her best judgment.

What Are Some Examples of What Payees Cannot Do?
A payee cannot:

•Sign legal documents, other than Social Security documents, on behalf of a beneficiary.
•Have legal authority over earned income, pensions, or any income from sources other than Social Security or SSI.
•Use a beneficiary's money for the payee's personal expenses, or spend funds in a way that would leave the beneficiary without necessary items or services (housing, food, medical care).
•Put a beneficiary's Social Security or SSI funds in the payee’s or another person's account.
•Use a child beneficiary's "dedicated account" funds for basic living expenses. This only applies to disabled/blind SSI beneficiaries under age 18.
•Keep conserved funds once you are no longer the payee.
•Charge the beneficiary for services unless authorized by SSA to do so.

How Often Do I Need to Report to SSA on How Benefits Have Been Used?
Usually SSA will send you a "Representative Payee Report" once a year. When you receive the Report, you should either fill it out promptly and mail it back or follow the directions that you receive with the Report and submit the Report online. Whether you choose to complete the paper report or the online version, the report is simple to complete if you keep clear records of how the money is spent and /or saved throughout the year.