Social Expectations

I have 3 kids so my daughter had someone to play with since a young age, but other than her brother (he is 18 m. younger) she didn't really start interacting with other kids until she went to pre-school when she was 4 and even then it took awhile. Now she is much more social and will play with other kids. I think your daughter will do the same. You might want to do some playdates or to other places kids will be, like the park, just to get her use to other kids before she goes to school.

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She's only 1.5 years old! They're discovering toys and stuff like that. She's showing interest in what's around her.

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hey S.,
at her age I wouldnt worry about it too much. I dont think it's until about 2 or even 3 that they really really want to play with other kids rather than just next to them. they call this parallel play. My son is 3 1/2 and still parallel plays sometimes. As far as her not interacting with you, do you mean she doesnt respond to you when you talk to her? sometimes kids are perfectly happy playing on their own. And hey it gives you a chance to get some work done. :) Like I said, i think this sounds completely normal. she'll tell you when she wants you to get involved.

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If you were to research her age developmentally you'd be able to rest assured that this stage is called "independent play" and is very normal.
(-:
your concern is commendable!

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S.,
As my knowledge and experience is, this is a very normal stage for kids around 15 months they start to "parallel" play. whether it is with you or with another child. Playing along side or near by while you are working is very normal. It is also a very healthy thing for her to know how to entertain her self with out you providing the entertainment. Some kids like my son (now 8) used to really need this indipendant play time to relax and wind down. especially after he would come home from kindergarten or what ever. Even now he needs some time to play on his own to sort of sort out the world and relax. If he is with people and constantly relating, he tends to get stressed out and irritable. She is not rejecting you or feeling alone in the world, she probably has an indepentant personallity and this is a sign she feels secure that you are near by. She knows just where you are. It is a great thing. I find it is comforting when my kids play like this to every once in a while engage in a little conversation, or just call to them and say "hey, are you doing O.K.?" they call back and we go on. I have to add a foot note, we also have a lot of time to cuddle, and play and read together at other times. Each stage is differant and each child is differant.

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Hi S.,
My daughter (now 19 months) did the same thing around that age. It started when she first began to walk at 12 months. It was like she had a new independence and didn't need Mommy so much. I had the same thoughts as you, but then realize that it is just a stage. We worry too much as moms. :) She is just discovering and learning about things around her. Relax and enjoy the freedom, soon she'll be hanging all over you again! (Trust me, I can hardly type this because my daugter is sitting on my lap trying to "organize" our computer desk) :)

I think that is good that she is learning to play independently! This also is what they call parallel play, where they play beside someone with no real interaction and is VERY normal!!! I was just like you with my first, she ALWAYS wanted me and didn't learn to play by herself. My second had to learn early and has always entertained himself well. Believe me this is what you want. When she is a couple years older find her playmates from the neiborhood or preschool.

GL:)

Don't worry, S. :) She doesn't even know there are other people out there *to* socialize with at this age. She'll let you know when she needs you. Consider it a mark of her strong and intelligent character that she is able to play so well on her own right now. Hard as it might be (especially with her being *your* only play-mate right now too with hubby working so many hours) do try to enjoy this time as a gift. Undertake some bigger household projects to keep yourself busy if you are stuck at home, catch up on old email, phone calls, or business. In a few months when she begins her journey into the "terrible twos" (all 6 of mine all seemed to start this vocal independance around 18 months)you'll be glad you had the time to get a few things out of the way. Also, if you are not stuck at the house, making a little more time to go out sounds like a good idea for both of you. Take your little one and head to the park now that it is getting nicer out. She will meet some other kids (although she may still not play *with* them per se) and you will meet some other moms as well so you have another adult to talk to hang out with and not just your daughter. I know it's sometimes hard to remember there are other adults out there to help keep you healthy and happy too. Sometimes I hear myself talking to my husband and think "WOW, I spend too much time with the kids!) Sometimes I really have to make a conscious effort to engage in deep conversation. I enjoy it so much, but since great grownup conversation is not a child skill (or really appropraite with a child anyway) I ocassionally feel like it stunts my ability to even have good conversations. I find myself limiting my discussion to who did what, and "here's your dinner, clean socks, etc" Heck, sometimes it's hard to remember that we have any needs at all, when the little ones start filling our days. Nevertheless, your social needs are really important too. She is just going through a phase, but she'll learn how to be a good friend from watching you with yours - long after the "parallel play" phase has passed.

S., at this age they don't interact much with others, I wouldn't worry too much about it. All children are different with their own personalities and preferences. I have 5 boys and they are all so different. Two of them are very social and have lots of friends and seem to thrive on that. I have another one that as far as other people are concerned he can take them or leave them and actually would really prefer to be left alone with a good book. Your daugher is what she is and will let you know what she needs and wants, you sound like a mom who is in tune and receptive to your childs needs. You are doing a great job. She will be just fine!

She's 15 months old! She's a baby! At this stage in her life she should be doing nothing more than eating, sleeping, pooping and peeing. Not entertaining you, or learning how to socialize. Let her develop on her own terms, and in her own time.

I agree with the others that she's at an age that the concern you have is minimal. I do wonder though, if you are concerned about social issues. I say that from my own experience. I found myself at home with my baby boy and was dumbfounded how to entertain us. I joined Gymboree and that led to a play group that was my social network until I returned to work after 2 more kids. It helped me a lot. My son, well, he is not a very social kid (13 now). I saw some signs (at 2-3 years, not sooner) and as he got older I was really worried. It became clear he was fine with it, but I was definitely projecting my anxiety about feeling left out when I was younger onto him. I spoke with a lot of people about it and in general the message was, and I agree, its a good thing to not "need" people. Its also important to have friends. Every kid has their own needs and unless my son was unhappy or suffering in some other way, I needed to accept that. I actually admire it and am relieved he's not at all a follower now that he's a teen! His peers are becoming more important to him as is typical for his age, but he has a few good friends and not a large circle. I have 2 other kids that are much more social. I admire that, too, but they actually agonize more over friends and little spats, etc. Anyway, this may not apply to you at all, but I found having kids put a great big magnifying glass on my husband and I. We can't help bringing our past into our child rearing. I'm sure all will be well for you and your daughter since you are obviously observant and concerned for her. Best of luck!!!

S.,

If your play time doesn't work, try with a play group from your church. If this doesn't work, look up asperger's syndrome.

Hi, Both of my older children sometimes just want to be on their own. When they want to play with me they do seek me out.

At this age they really don't know how to play with others. They are in their own world in which they rule.

Is there a reason you are her only playmate? Are there any other families near by you can play with? Or a playgroup you can join? There are many. Being a SAHM can sometimes get quit lonely. If you would like some info I am a member of couple of groups and often host playdates myself.

God Bless
K. 28 yo SAHM of 3

i think it's no big deal that she is playing by herself. :) but aside from that, it sounds like you guys might be a little isolated. maybe go to free storytime at your local library? in A. Arbor for instance, we have a storytime at a different library almost every day of the week [which is really a story, some songs and rhymes, movement/dances, puppet show, the librarians put on a great program for the little ones], the county rec building has a tot play time for a few dollars once a week, there are la leche league toddler play groups, etc. bring knitting or something to do while you watch her play. :)

Please take your daughter to her doctor and inform him/her of these even so slight personality changes. I don't wish to scare you, but a decline in social interaction can be symptomatic of autism