So I Taking My 2.5 Year Old to My Grandfather's Funeral,.......

My grandfather and grandmother both recently passed and I took all 3 to wake and funeral. (ages 5, 3, and almost 2). They weren't traumatized at all, the 3 and 2 year old didn't even really notice or realize what was going on. They only saw my grandfather once or twice a year though, so if they see him more often or are really close, you may want to think about it. But they honestly didn't even know where we were, they just played in the back.

Absolutely go. Children bring light and life and much-needed joy to these situations. We had a wake for my brother last week and all of my children (ages 5-13) as well as my niece (almost age 2) attended the whole four hours. My cousin brought his 3 year old son. A couple of other friends who couldn't get sitters came with a spouse or other friend and had the kids stay in the car while they tagged off on coming in and giving us their well wishes. I told them that their children were welcome to come inside but they insisted that it was easier to just leave the kids in the car with the other adult (the kids weren't dressed, one was napping, one was cranky etc.) so I didn't push it but we wouldn't have minded having them there at all.

My kids have all been to several wakes and/or funerals. They're not traumatic for them at all. They just know that death it a part of life and when someone dies, we show how much we loved them by gathering together in remembrance.

Take her. You need to go and you have no sitter.
This is a really nice book about the cycle of life for all living things:

Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children
by Bryan Mellonie

Sorry about your grandfather. :(

I'm with "One and done". I would go.
You can make it a quick appearance.
You may regret it if you don't.
It's the cycle of life (my mom used to take me all the time so I became
accustomed to the "goodbye" ritual.
A nice way to bring closure.
I'm sorry for your loss.

Since you have no choice but to take her, and you are worried about it, I would make sure to talk to her and try to find a book that relates to your personal beliefs on death or life after death that is appropriate for her age.

I am very sorry for your loss. My son came to the funeral of a friend's father when he was 2-1/2 (closed casket). He was not in anyway traumatized and actually was very comforting to my friend's mom - he spent a good deal of time sitting in her lap. Children can be a great reminder that life goes on even at times like these.

I'm in the same boat. We leave tomorrow moring to fly from Maine to Iowa for my grandfather's funeral. My girls are 3 years and 9 months and I am just hoping that my 3-year-old is too caught up in seeing her cousins to be affected by any of the funeral happenings.

Sorry for your loss and I wish you all the best.

Children do well when facing death as part of life and if it's presented that way they seem to understand. I wouldn't worry about it at all.

Based on your babysitting problem, I would say go ahead and take her and find someone to sit with her while you pay your respects. I am not of the view that small children should go to funerals. But you mention that this is a wake, and that's a bit different, I think.

So sorry about your granddad.

Dawn

My condolences on the loss of your grandfather. Take your daughter with you. Children aren't inherently traumatized by death. It's adults that project it to them. I have never excluded my daughter from funerals and she has always behaved appropriately. She accepts that death is an unfortunate part of life and not something to be feared. Your daughter will be fine as long as no one act like she should be otherwise.

And if it helps, when my grandmother died all 5 of her great grandchildren were there, as she would have wanted. At the service we sang childrens Sunday school songs because all of us learned them from her and it was the best way we knew to honor her.