Smart Preschooler

My daugther's birthday is 2 weeks before the September 1st cut-off. When she was four years old we had to make the decision whether or not to push her ahead. This is how we came to our decision:

1. My daugther's due date was mid October so if she was not a preemie, we would not have had the choice. Also, is she was born at 34 weeks instead of 32, we would not have had that option.
2. I had two nieces who were close to the cut-off. They both, despite the one graduating with honors, were held back in the elementary school because they were not able to keep up with children a whole year older. They were in their early twenties when we had to make this decision and both suggested we give my daugther an extra year.
3. My husband is a principal of a K-12 school and I was a school counselor. We both know that quite often kids struggle because of maturity which has nothing to do with intelligence. Older is better in our opinion as educators.
4. Parents, like myself, quite often will give their children an extra year in today's society. The thought of my daugther sitting in a classroom with a sixteen year old when she is only fourteen made me feel uneasy. How do I tell her she can't hang out with the sixteen year olds when they are here classmates?

Our daugther was 6 years old when she started kindergarten. She is now in the second grade. She is in gifted classes and does extremely well in school. Most of all, she LOVES school. She attends a school that uses a differential learning model that works for her quite well. Also, we sent her to a preschool that had a half-day kindergarten when she was five years old.

I am glad that my youngest has an October birthday because he will get the extra year as well.

Good luck with your decision. The most important thing is that this is your and your husband's decision, not the preschool's. If you feel that she needs more than their program can offer, look at other preschools. We did that this year for our two youngest and it has been great.
-Barbara

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Hi M.!

I actually grew up with an October birthday and I was the youngest out of all my friends. I loved it! It made me work hard and achieve more because I wanted to keep up with the "older" kids.

I now have a daughter with an October birthday who will run into the same issue as your daughter. As of right now (and things can change of course) we plan on having her take the test and the test will determine if she is ready. I would prefer her to be in a class where she is at that level. If she is ready and we wait because of her age will she be bored? If we don't wait and she isn't ready will she struggle? If we need to wait until she is 5 turning 6 then that is what we'll do. If the test shows she is ready for kindergarten at 4 turning 5 then we need to look at that option. Of course, again, anything could change by then. Our decision might as well.

I would love to hear what you decide.

Take care and good luck!
S.

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I'm a "retired" school teacher (at the age of 29!! to be a mom) and a general rule of thumb that has proven pretty successful is....
Hold boys... send girls!

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I was in the same boat as you are in now. I did a lot of research, since our county was in the process of slowly changing their age cutoff date from Dec 31st to Sept 1st. For my DD year, the cutoff was Oct 31st and her birthday is Nov 23rd. Having a education background, I was sure my DD was ready academically (she was already reading, spelling, and doing math). And socially, she never had a problem; her closest friends are at elast 10 months older than her. I did not want her to be bored and felt that she was definitely ready for kindergarten.

Talk to your school. Our school system allows for requests for early entrance if the birthday falls within 1 month of the cutoff date. I was told to bring my DD to kindergarten open house the spring before and the teachers would observe her and see how she did socially, etc, and then get tested academically. It ended up that my daughter did not need to be tested and we were granted early entrance.

My DD is now in 2nd grade. She sometimes gets a little bummed that she is the youngest, but she is very social, is doing great academically, and loves her friends and school. And out in the "real world", you work with people of all ages. She will not be the youngest forever.

I wouldn't have done it any different for my DD. But each child is different and needs to be considered individually. My twin boys (almost 3), will miss the cutoff by 7 weeks. They are a different story. If the cutoff was closer, I still don't think I would send them early.

It depends on your child. Good luck!

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I have 2 perspectives to share with you. Personally I was the youngest in school - with an Oct birthday. Overall it worked out for me, but socially I did have some difficulties early on. I was extremely shy. It may have just been my personality, but I think it was probably exagerated at least in the year school years. Academically I never had any problems and excelled in my classes.

My other perspective is as a preschool & kindergarten teacher. Children all develop at their own rate and that rate varies within each child between their different "areas" of development. Physical, social, emotional, and cognitive growth all occurs at the same time, but at different rates. Periodically one or more areas can "jump" ahead or fall behind the others so that they are not even. This is perfectly normal and accounts for different children's strengths and weaknesses throughout life. It's tough when you have a child with a borderline birthday (My 3 year old's birthday is Sept 11 so I'm dealing with the same thing.) - you hate for them to be the youngest and have to struggle throughout school, but you also don't want them to be bored and lose interest. When your child stands out as particularly smart, it adds to the delima. In the classroom I typically found that there is a reason for the cut off and that usually some kind of difficulty arises. Sometimes they are minor issues and other times they are bigger. On the other end - children who wait until they meet the cut off, but are among the oldest tend to have a smoother transition. Every teacher should be providing a range of open ended activities that can be easily expanded or taken to different levels to accommadate the needs of each child in the class. I don't mean that they should split the kids into predetermined groups. It's just that the activity should allow the children to use their imagination and think outside the box to get the challenge they need from the lesson. A truely gifted student will take the time and energy to do this. These were observations in the youngest grades.

There are a whole different set of things to think about as the kids are older. Do you want your child's friends to be driving almost a year before them and them wanting to be allowed to ride along? Or would you prefer your child is among the first to get a license? What about dating? She will likely fight to gain priveledges around the same time rather than same age as her peers. So, you could possibly hold things off a little while if she's older or she may want to push it up if she's younger and others are all dating.

If you feel like you are leaning towards sending your child early, I suggest you carefully assess her current emotional and social development as the most important (over physical and cognitive) areas for entering kindergarten. If you have doubts, I can only say that I have never had a student that suffered by getting a few extra months to grow before starting school.

Good Luck with a tough decision

H.

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Hi M.,
My name is M. and my daughters name is Morgan. She just turned 5 on Sept 1oth, missing her cut-off by nine days. I struggled for a long time with your situation. She attended pre-school all of last year. Morgan actually took a test to "test" into kindergarden. She is also very intelligent and passed it. However, at her annual check up with her doctor, he disagreed with my decision strongly. He stated that being ready intelligence wise was not a reason to put her in kindergarden. He said that too many times he has seen children struggleon a maturity level. He also said that I would rather her be a big fish in little water, than a little fish in big water. And, he changed my mind when he ended with, "Plus, when you think of it long term, you will have an extra year with her before going off to college." He made sense, and I do not regret my decision. I am anxious to know yours though, please send me a message letting me know. Good luck!

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My husband started kindergarden at the age of 4 9his birthday is in dec). He was did just fine. (my son is only 2 and 1/2 so i don't know yet)he was born in december also. i think if ihad the choice though i would wait till he was 5 going on 6

I have 2 children that are 17 and 12 and then there's my (baby).He's 5 and just started kindergarden this September.Although he is very smart he is having difficulty already and it is only 3 weeks into the the school year.My advise to you is keep her home the extra year. Kindergarden expects alot more from kids now a days then they did in the past.If all goes well you can always have her tested in the future and possibly be advanced into a higher grade.

I am a mother of two daughters and one of them missed the cut off for kindergarden by 30 days. She ended up starting when she was 5 almost 6. Being one of the oldest in her class has also had some chalanges. She started to develop earlier than all of the other girls, she was taller and also more mature than the other girls in her class. There are going to be drawbacks on either side of the problem. My guess is that she will adjust to kindergarden well because she is already used to preschool and she will be fine. Hope I could help.

It is really dependent on your daughter.

We put our daugher into a private kindergarten at 4 ( Oct 8 BD) after 2 years of pre-school. If she didn't excel, we decided that we would place in public kindergarten the following year with nothing lost. We took a good look at her maturity, social skills, etc. and she only missed the VA cut off by 8 days. She also had a 5 year brother which helped as well. My daughter passed the kindergarten test at 4 inadverently when we were at the school with my son. She is at the top of her 5th grade class. It was a great move for her but each child is different.

Ask preschool teachers to be honest about her social skills/ maturity to help you make a educated decision. Have her evaulated for public kindergarten for free if you are in a private school. That will give you a good idea of where she is. Remember she will be the youngest in her grade and will 17 going to college... that scared me a bit. Good luck!

My daughter has always been the youngest in her class and it has never presented any problems. She was right at the cut off for kindergarten. She is in 4th grade now and just turned 9.

My son misses the cutoff by one day. He is in pre-school this year and turns five on oct 1. If we were in new york, he would be in kindergarden this year. There are pros and cons to both. We could have fought it because, belive it or not, this kid can do math problems in his head already. So he would have easily passed any testing that WE would have had to pay for. That aside, we decided to keep him with his cohorts now because he is very small for his size and are giving him a chance to catch up physically and socially (this is the first year that he is starting to actual play with other kids and not by himself.)

What you have to look at is she academically, socially, and physically ready for Kindergarden. If she is (and I realize girls do mature faster especially at this age) then all systems go. If she is behind in any one, for her sake later, I would keep her in Pre school. Follow your instincts, they are usually right.

L.

Hi M.,
I was the youngest in my class until I got into high school. Then I met someone whose birthday was 5 days after mine. I was so excited not to be the youngest! I started when I was 4 and did not turn 5 until dec. Academically I was fine. Socially was different. All of my friends could do things before me, and I was left out of many activities that they could do. I remember one year that i wanted more than anything to go to girl scout camp. I was in the right level of scouts, but they went by age, and I was a year to young. All of my friends went, but me. I was devistated.
Also my son turned 5 in aug and we started him in kindergarten that year. He did fine for a few years, but now he is 5th grade and he struggles a bit in school and is much more socially immature than his classmates. I regret the decision to send him that first year, I wish i would have waited. He was ready then, but now he is not. Kindergarten is so academically challenging compared to what it was when we were kids, I think they need as much time as they can get to be kids with out being pushed.

both myself and my boyfriend were four going on five in kindergarten. I started college at 17 as well. We're fine. Neither one of us ever had any emotional problems in school nor did we ever feel like wierd cuz we were always younger than everyone else. It was actully kinda funny in his case becuase he was quite large.
If she can handle the work (which she probably can becuase she was in preshchool for so long) than you should let her go. You wont really know until you try. Besides that two months that she's younger than everyone really wont make a diffrence in the long run however if you keep her from going she'll be like a whole year older than everyone when she starts and just speaking from experince i would think she would much rather be a couple months younger than a year older than everyone.

We had this same issue with my step-daughter and my daughter. My step-daughter actually has a late December birthday but when she was tested for a K-4 program she scored extremely high and they suggested she get tested to go into kindergarten. She scored high and started kindergarten at 4. She has done extremely well, still ahead of most of her class academically. She has not had any social or developmental issues that separate her from the rest of the class. I definitely believe the right choice was made. She would have been bored if she waited till she was five and she's the type that would have probably acted out if she were bored.
My daughter has a November birthday and was also tested to get into kindergarten early. Like my step-daughter, she scored very high on the intelligence test and was admitted to kindgergarten. I wish they had done some type of developmental/social readiness test however. While she was academically in line with the rest of her class, she struggled with staying in her seat and paying attention. She was even suspended for a week for a temper tantrum (!) Turns out now I find out she has ADHD. Each year has been a struggle as she adjusts to new teachers and new rules, now she is a 3rd grader. She has gotten good grades and does not struggle academically, so I dont' know whether to blame our other issues on her starting early or her ADHD.
Every teacher I've talked to said they should have done some type of developmental & social testing before allowing both girls in kindergarten early.
I suggest you talk to your doctor and the preschool teachers about those things. I still think it's good to start children early if they are socially, developmentally AND intellectually ready because they may end up being bored and unengaged in class if you wait till next year.
Tough decision, best of luck!

Hi M.,
I have personal and professional experience with younger and older children in a school setting. I would strongly recommend you WAIT the year and put your child into kindergarten when she is almost 6. I deal with parents wanting to put their children in early all the time due to intelligence or just feeling like they are "ready". But as they progress in school, alot more is involved than just school work. How they interact with friends, their physical and emotional development, even when they can start driving compared to friends.... And do you really want your child to leave for college at 17!!!!!. These are all issues that are not considered well enough in an early start. My child with a winter b/d has adjusted much better and is more confident. Another child in her class started a year early (Oct birthday), and when I see them all interact it is VERY evident the younger one would have fit better with the children a grade younger.

Best wishes on your decision.

My daughter was born september 8th. Our cutoff was September 10th. She was reading by the age of 4. She knew her alphabet, colors and every nursery rhyme by the time she was 18 months. She helped the teacher teach the kids to read in kindergarten. Could add by then also. That is the positive. She will graduate when she is 17 and attend college. She just started junior high and it is not ready emotionally just as she won't be emotionally ready for college. She still likes to play with toys; does not chase the boys like most of them are (thank god for that). It is very overwhelming for her. I would definitely not do that. In our schools, they are telling us even if they are born in july, aug, we should rethink about sending them. Can you find a pre-k? You will be glad you did. I have heard many people say the same thing as me. As much as it is nice to have our free time finally, I was very sorry I let her go.

You can email me at ____@____.com

Hi M.,
My name is J.. I have a 4 year old son and a 2 year old daughter. Before my son was born I was a teacher. I taught 4th and 5th grade. As an educator I can only recommend that you do not push for her to enter school early. There are many other aspects of the Kindergarten experience. One of the biggest being the social development. In my last year teaching I had a student who entered Kindergarten early. Although he was very bright, he did have a tendency to struggle socially. He was very immature for a 4th grader.
In the end it is only your decision to make, but just remember as a parent you want her to succeed in all aspects of her life not just academicly. If you choose to keep her on the normal track for kindergarten I 'm sure you could find another preschool program that may challenge her alittle more or you could work with her at home.

Hi M.! I was a 4 y old going into kindergarten (turning 5 in DEC). I did great. Plus with all the preschool I think she will do fantastic.. Good luck!

I am a reading teacher for Kindergarten and First Grade. Girls always learn letter names and sounds, even words before boys do. A boy's brain develops slower than girls for language skills. If you feel your daughter is mature enough to handle Kindergarten, then go for it. If you were writing about a son, I would say not to put him in Kindergarten.

Look at the Kindergarten curriculum to see what would be expected of your daughter. Most schools require the student to take a test to see if he/she is ready for Kindergarten. Also, is it full-day or half-day?

My step-daughter entered school when she just turned 5 - the cutoff then was Sept. 30 and her B-day is Sept. 28. She has always been at the top of her class!

Hi M.. Wow! Your post is the exact opposite of my concern. I am new to the area and I've learned that my daughter (who will be 4 at the end of Dec.) will not be able to begin school next term. This newfound information has upset both me and my husband as we see our child as extremely bright and we are confident that she would excel in any program (being the youngest or not). My greatest fears are that (1)she will be the oldest in her class and (2)she will get bored with the lessons. We have her in a private learning center now and she is reading/writing at a K-1 grade level. Beginning in January, her curriculum will change to 1-2 grade level work.
In any case, I would allow my child to begin the Kindergarten program at that age. She appears to be very bright and I am sure thaat you will continue to work with her to ensure she excels with the rest of the class. I have a 17 year old sister who has already started college and she does not appear to be affected at all by the age differences. Though there may be some negative effects of being the youngest child in a grade, I would venture to say that the good will outweigh the bad.
Whatever decision you make...good luck.

Do you feel like she's ready socially? I think that's the biggest thing for kindergarten. If she is, then I might consider putting her in early. Talk to the preschool and kindergarten teachers and see what you think. Good luck with your decision, that would be a hard one!

Hi I am a mother of 6 and 2 yr old girls. I myself started kindergarten when I was 4, birthday in November, I actually enjoyed being youg, 17 starting college, 21 starting my life after college. I always felt being younger was an advantage. I think you need to look at your daughter no entirely academically but more so socially. Does she make friends easy, is she outgoing and secure. Talk to her preschool teachers and find out if they feel she is ready socially. I know people who have both advanced their children and held them back, both done with sucess. Whichever you decide I believe that your approach to the situation and what you teach you child will help her to succeed. Good Luck

hey, im not sure where you live, but in my area Abington, and i used to live in philly. they dont allow children in kindergarten before they are 5, regarless of their level. my son's bday is in october, he'll be 7 and he's in 1st grade. he is above all his friends and is very bright and has always been. I was concerned that he would be bored or not challenged, but so far there hasnt been a problem. I wanted him to start k when he was 4 going on 5, but im glad i didnt, they wouldnt let him anyway. I think that somewhere down the line he'll get advanced classes or even skip a grade once he gets higher up.

Early kindergarten is one of the easiest and most well-researched gifted education accommodations... and it's all positive. And skipping a child early, before social relationships start in 3rd grade (for girls) or 4th-5th (boys) is better for them socially, though not skipping later when it's needed socially and academically can create big problems, too.

For more on what's really expected at entry to Kindergarten, visit www.hoagiesgifted.org/kindergarten.htm and for more research and information on Acceleration, visit www.hoagiesgifted.org/acceleration.htm Also, get your own copy of A Nation Deceived, the national research study on long- and short-term effects of gifted acceleration. www.nationdeceived.org

Hope this helps!

C. K.
www.hoagiesgifted.org

my daughter will be 4 on oct 4. and she just started pre school this year. (montgomery county extended their preschool enrollment 6 weeks). i was told by the school that as long as she is academically ready for kindergarden then she can go even if she is still only 4. i am not sure if this helps or not.

Hi M.,

My name is D. and I have been married for 15 years. I have
3 children (2 boys and a girl). If I were you, I would wait. Even if your daughter is bright, she may not be as mature as her classmates. It may not seem to matter when she is in the younger grades, but it will make a difference as she gets older. I have 3 children and my youngest is in 2nd grade. His birthday is in October so he started school later than most of the kids in his class. Because he is older, school work seems to come easy to him. Believe me; it is a lot easier when your child does well in school as opposed to having problems!

My youngest is 7 and his birthday is the end of June. Even though the cutoff is September, our school dicsourages "summer babies" from entering kindergarden at the age of 5. Although they may do well in the first couple of years, they have found that these kids have problems keeping up in 4th, 5th and 6th grade. My other biggest reason for keeping my son back another year was that he would have been 17 greaduating from high school. He is in first grade now and I am very glad I waited another year - he is doing very well, is much more mature and is even in the accelerated reading program.

Hi M.. My name is D., new mother of Emma, 14 weeks old tomorrow. My mother was actually in the same situation as you when I was young. I attended preschool for a year and my birthday is October 1st (missing the cut-off as well). After about a week or so into my second year of preschool the teacher actually advanced me into kindergarden. (you may have to approach the subject with your daughters school) Half way through kindergarden, they actually moved me into the 1st grade. I relocated schools and they were going to hold me back because of my age, but my mom fought... needless to say, I was the youngest one to gradauate! Good Luck!

I think that if you are confident that she is ready, then do it. Look at her social skills as well as her general knowledge skills. If you contact your local school, they should be able to provide you with the entrance skills for kindergarten. Also, your preschool should be aware of those skills and be able to give you a good idea as far as whether or not they feel she is ready. There are many books out there that provide at home activities and worksheets as well as their opinions regarding kindergarten readiness. Costco and Sam's Club have great tools. Check them out. I don't think that age should have much to do with it. If she is socially and intellectually ready, then she is ready.

I know you may be anxious for your little one to start school so you can enjoy this much awaited milestone but my advice is wait until she is 5 turning 6 in Oct. I started school when I was 4 and didn't turn 5 until Jan! I struggled through my whole school career. I was the youngest, the smallest...and of course teachers always do those lineups for activities starting with the tallest to the shortest and then the oldest to the youngest...it was supposed to educational to get us to learn to put things in order.....but I was always at the end and always felt like an outcast! I just bought a new home and at settlememt the women from the finance place was talking about schools in our new area and I had mentioned that I didn't know the cutoff age for the new school, next year my son will be 4 turning 5 in Oct, and she too said that her daughter was 4 when she started school and her daughter struggled as well. It's really your decision but that extra year is going to make a huge differance on her.

i have a 4 yr old grandson..he will be 5 the beginning of oct...he had never been to preschool but did experience daycare..my daughter..decided to give him a try with kindergarden...hes been there for almost a month now and is doing GREAT!!! he loves school and hes having a great time...he isnt going to public school..she had enrolled him at a 'y'...and pays weekly...so thats the only down fall..but what wll happen now is..they will test him the beginning of next year and if he is well enough to go into first grade..that is what will be done..if he isnt ready..then he will be repeating kindergarden in a public school.
my advice for you...since your little one is only going to be 4..i would say to see how she would do in a good daycare..just for an adjustment stage...i dont believe she would be ready for kindergarden yet..not till she is turning at least 5

I have never experienced this. I would encourage that you go ahead and put her in Kindergarden...It is completely your choice.....I would if I was in your shoes, esp if you think she is ready....I would think diff if she was not.....These days our children are alot smarter than we were when we aere at that age....

My daugher's birthday was the first day of Kindergarden when she turned 5...she is the youngest and "smallest" in her class...and she is doing better in school (1st grade now), than her older sister had. It's either the "second born" syndrome that you hear about, or just the fact she was "ready" for school. I think it's the later personally. If you feal your child is "mature" enough (as mature as Kindergardeners go), than I'm sure she will do fine.

Hi M.,

When I was a kid, the cutoff was November 30, which happens to be my birthday. My parents put me in and it was the best thing ever!! When I was sitting in that graduation ceremony at 17 years old, I cannot tell you how happy that made me. I never ever had trouble with academics, in fact, they actually had me in all advanced classes throughout my entire school career and everyone thought I was really smart because I was the youngest kid.

I was extremely small especially in Jr. High school and in 7th grade, I got made fun of a little bit but I got over it when I was 95 pounds entering college and everyone else was, well, you get the picture. I figure, pretty much everyone I've ever talked to has gotten made fun of about something in their school days so it might as well be being small.

My daughter made the cutoff by only 3 days and I am absolutely putting her in K next year. However, if she had missed the cutoff, even by one day, I probably wouldn't just because I try to just go with the flow.

Bottom line is that whichever decision you make, will be the right one. You will deal with things, and so will your daughter, as they come and everything will be fine either way. Try not to beat yourself up too much trying the make the right decision because it will be right no matter what.

Good luck.

My daughter will miss the cut off next year by 2 days! I've decided not to send her until Sept 2008. She'll be one of the oldest in her class and I think it's to her benefit! Good Luck!

dear M.
hi my name is A. and i too had this problem last year but we decided not to put her ahead as we dicussed it with alot of people and we had to make the decision that was best for her,and while she is very smart alot of people said that they end up struggling in the long run.i hope whatever you decide it is the right choice for your family.good luck.