Sleeping Through the Night and Weaning

Hi M.,

Reading your note, it just brought me back to "those days." My son was the same way, he only fell asleep after nursing. You have to start slowly by eliminating the nursing at one of the nap times. By evening, he should then get a good "feeding" before bed. And given, his age, he really should be able to last until morning. His waking may not be from hunger, but probably his desire to feel comforted and the nursing is the best comfort of all! If you cannot let him cry (a few minutes is fine) then go in and just pat him on the back to assure him that you are there but don't pick him up. Good luck!

Hello....I too nursed my son who just turned 1 yesterday. I did not nurse as long as you, but the reason I actually stopped after 3 months was due to the fact that my son would not take a bottle! I starting finding it very frustrating to never be able to go without being back within two hours. I tried weaning him, but when I thought I was finally in the clear and could go out and give him a bottle he refused it and of course in the store. Anyway, a friend finally suggested that I just cut him off. Like she said if you give him the choice what do you think he will want? So I did and by the end of the day he took a bottle. Your child at least is having other foods at this point I wouldn't worry about him being hungry. If he is that hungry he will take the bottle. My son has about 3 bottles a day, probably only drinks one of them fully. He sleeps through the night since he was about 6 months. The advice my friend gave was the best. Also, when I started weaning him from the breast I did use breast milk so it wasn't a matter of him not liking formula in a bottle, just didn't want the bottle. Like I said once he had no other option he took it. What bottles are you using? I went through about 4 different kinds before I found one he would drink from. We currently have been using the PLaytex Ventaire. One other option being your son is a little older is trying the sippy cup. One of my friends who had nursed her twins till about one said they never took a bottle, but would take the cup.

first time mom also,

G.

Hey there! My son is 13 1/2 months old and I have the same problem!! He does drink from a bottle but isn't fond of milk so I still give him formula! He is in daycare full time so they give him bottles there and he is on table food. I am hoping you get some really good advice! I did try the "cry it out method" last night and he cried for over an hour. I had to go in....AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT! I couldn't take it anymore. I have a 3 1/2 yr old that was NEVER a good sleeper. She ends up in our bed from time to time now too.
What am I doing wrong?? maybe we can help each other!
BTW...I didnt have to wean my daughter she stopped nursing all on her own when she was 10 mos old.

Hi,
i am still nursing my daughter and she is almost two and a half. Like your kiddo, she did not take a bottle and was still getting up at least once a night to nurse until she was a little over two. One night I told her that I would not give her more milk until the sun was up in the morning. When she got up at night I went in and reminded her. I put her binki in her mouth and patted herback until she went to sleep. In a few mights she was sleeping more hours at a time. Now she sleeps from 8-6:30. We never believed in the cry it out method and I really think the night weaning only worked because she was ready. Follow your son. You two can find a place that works for both of you. If you are really interested in getting him to take a bottle you might want to try hemp milk. It is closer in nutrition to breast milk than any other milk subsitute. My daughter loved it in a sippy cup when I was not available to give her "mama milk". Good luck, and know that the sleepless night won't last forever.
-T.

I would recommend reading "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. She has great tips for weaning babies who need to "suck to sleep" (nursing, bottle, pacifier). She also talks about how much sleep your child needs based on his age and explains the sleep cycle so you have a better understanding of what your baby is going through. I am in the process of weaning my son (turned 1 yesterday!!) I tried to give him milk in a sippy cup instead of the bottle (hasn't really worked for him), but if your son won't take a bottle, try a cup instead. Otherwise you are just setting yourself up to wean him off of something else in the future. I had to go through several different cups before I found one that my son would take; he drinks a cup of water throughout the day. Looks like you got a lot of good advice from other moms. Best of luck to you!

Both my kids, a boy and a girl, weaned around 3 years old. They both lessened their frequency of nursing at similar stages in their lives. Yes, after they turned 1 they still woke up at night to nurse, but by 2 years old, that almost never happened, unless they were sick and needed comfort to get through the night, and then I was glad they were still nursing, since they stayed well hydrated, never ever needing pedialyte. I let them guide the the process. I may be the Mom, but they are wise as well. Nursing is GREAT, and I am glad I could do it! It is a gift we give. My youngest is 4 now, and still likes to fall asleep with my arm around him, but then I leave the bed and he sleeps through the night, in his own bed. The eldest has no sleep issues. Perhaps I am being harsh, but I think worrying about babies and sleep is overdone. Love them while you can, there will by plenty of time to be the Mom and make rules to guide them on more important issues. They will become independent. I say give them the security. By the way, both my kids never drink milk. They hate it! I did too as a kid, and hated being pushed to drink it. They do like yogurt and cheese..., so I don't worry about missing milk for nutrition.

Hi M.,
It sounds like you're having a tough time. Well my sister is a lactation consultant and a neonatal ICU nurse so she will definitely have an answer for you. I will talk to her today and I will have an answer for you by tomorrow. Advice is on the way!
-N.

PURE ROMANCE BY N.
email: ____@____.com
website: noreenrequijo.pureromance.com
cell: ###-###-####

First of all I HAVE to respond to the cinnamon stick and sugar milk...that sounds delicious! I'm going to give that to my kids - they are 6, 4, and 2 and LOVE warm milk before bed.

About the weaning - I had the same issue with all 3 of mine. I have nothing to advise....but MAYBE stop nursing at nap time and bed time. When babe wakes up offer water. That's what worked for me. I hope this helps. I know exactly how you feel. You're tired.

You don't say why you want to wean.. are you going back to work or do you need more sleep or do you just think it's time or do you think he's too old or what?

If there's no pressing need to wean, why do you want to right now? Many children are not ready to let go at this age. My kids certainly weren't. There are many benefits to toddler nursing as well as infant nursing.

If you're not uncomfortable with it, I say let it go and keep nursing.

you have him naping way to much. He should by now only be taking 1 nap. If he sleeps to much during the day he will not sleep through the night. As far as breast feeding.. It is ok to keep going. I had a friend who breast fed both of her children until they were 4. but try putting your breast milk into a sippy cup. he may start to take the cup instead of a bottle which by now he should be starting to be weined off a bottle anyway because of tooth issues. I hope that you try to cut his morning nap. Keep him busy and you will see that he will have a good afternoon nap then should sleep more through the night. Good luck!

Hi M.,
My son is 16 months and I am still nursing as well. I have been trying to wean him as well, but it is not working. I can tell you that I stopped nursing him in the middle of the night. I nurse him 3-4 times a day. When he wakes around 6AM, nap time between 11 and 12, and bedtime around 9PM. Sometimes if he has a very short morning nap, then I'll nurse him again later in the afternoon around 3 or 4 so he takes another nap. I also don't offer unless he is completely crazed and pulling on my blouse. The middle of the night feedings were the hardest to stop for me. He would wake every 2-3 hours to nurse and I couldn't take it anymore. The Dr. said that he was waking out of habit not because he needed to eat, so I decided to stop nursing him. It was really hard because he cried and cried. I wore my bathrobe into his room backwards so he couldn't get to my breast and sat and rocked him back to sleep. It was very difficult because my little guy is very stubborn and wants what he wants as they all do, but he finally figured out after about 4 or 5 nights that he wasn't getting any milk when he woke up in the middle of the night. He now sleeps through most nights from around 9 until about 6. Sometimes he wakes around 3 and I go in (with my trusty robe on) and rock him back to sleep. Sometimes I think I'll never get him weaned and that I will be going off to college with him (LOL) All of the books that I read told me exactly what to do to get him to latch properly and the techniques to breast feeding, but not one book helps with weaning. I am oing back to work in September and really need him weaned by then. I hope what I did helps you for the middle of the night wakings. I'll be reading your responses to get some ideas on what to do with this little guy for weaning as well. GOOD LUCK!!

hi there, my son is 13 months and i weaned at 10 1/2 months. i was sooo ready. in bwt all of this his sleeping had changed and he was awful and my husband and i were lost!!!! we went to a sleep doctor and our lives have changed. your son is old enough and smart enough to know how to milk you _literally ha ha. i'm a sucker for my son but i do agree if they're hungry they'll eat. so i would start with 2 feeds a day then down back to one. as for the milk i wouldn't honestly be adding the sugar etc for his teeth and he does'nt need sugar. you need to get tough and maybe replace your feed with a snack or something. i personally think 8pm is a bit late and there's no reason he should be getting up 2xs a night. he's just been conditioned and you need to tough it out. i'm sorry if i sound mean bc i'm not. my son is my life :) he now gets up around 6:40-7:15am and goes to sleep at 6:30pm and we get to eat and i get to email, tv etc. i used to pat or rock him and now i have stability. good luck , M.
i live in australia but would email you if you wanted to chat more :)

Hi M.,
Sounds like you have to start to seperate the feedings from the 'going to sleep' first. They are so connected that he needs the nursing to sleep and won't be able to go to sleep without the breast. It's tough but try feeding him earler and then make sure he is awake but tired for his naps to sleep. This will probably require some crying, but you can keep going in to comfort him (there are a few 'responses' about that topic--I gave one myself, so you can refer to that, too) without picking him up and he will eventually fall off to sleep. Once he has the two things seperate he will be able to give up the breast more easily.
A.

I agree with Marisa too. Without sounding mean, you are sort of enabling your son by feeding him at night. At 14.5 mos nutritionally, he does not need to be feed during the night and he is also old enough to put himself back to sleep when he wakes up in the middle of the night. Because you were always there to feed him when he awoke, he is just used to that and that is what he expects now. If weaning is something you really want to do because you are ready, and you need the sleep, etc. you need to break this habit and know that your son is completely capable of the change. I also agree with the other that commented that you shouldn't be introducing bottles at this age. You should go straight to sippy cups. Hopefully you have already introduced this to him at his meals. Good Luck!

hi - first off - why are you going from breast to bottle? it is SO difficult to get a child to get rid of the bottle - you may just be looking for trouble. why not wean him with a sippy cup? that's what i did. i introduced it when my son was 12 months...i have to say, he didn't like the plain milk - he was so used to the sweet breastmilk. I mixed yobaby drinkable yogurt with the milk. it has a peach flavor & it was sweet - after a few weeks of slowly adding more whole milk to the sweet drinkable yogurt he was finally used to the taste of the plain milk. he 18 months now - loves the milk & sippy cup...now i will never have to do another transition from bottel to sippy cup. I was an exclusive breastfeeder for 13 & 1/2 months - it was hard to let go but once you do, you'll feel you accomplished something huge!

If you have a pump, start giving him a bottle in the morning of 1/2 breast milk & 1/2 milk and do that for a week, and then start to replace the next feeding with the same until you gradually get him to take a full bottle of milk and a few extra feedings of the bottle throughout the day. Don't be in a rush to replace the feedings in the middle of the night with a bottle or he may get up even more to eat! When you get him on a bottle just before bed-time (8pm), add a tablespoon of rice cereal and see if he doesn't sleep through the night for you. You can gradually get him on the sippy cup the same way.

My son doesn't like plain milk either. I mix Yo Baby yogurt with milk to thin it out, and he takes that from a sippy cup. It is much more filling and has more nutritional value than cinnamon and sugar. A fuller tummy may help him sleep. Otherwise, he is waking up out of habit, looking for comfort. I finally had to just let my son cry it out at 15 months to get him off the breast and learn to self soothe. Look into the Ferber method and decide if you are comfortable with the idea. It may seem a little mean, but a child who can self soothe will learn a little independence adn that he is safe out of eyesight. For me, it was simply the only thing that worked. Good luck.
A.

you don't really need to wean him (it sounds like he is not ready yet), you just need to help him break the habit of nursing to fall asleep. I would start with the naps. Nurse him when he wakes up in the morning and then have dad or someone else put him down for a nap, if you do it he is going to want to nurse. I would start on a weekend when Dad is off work or someone is around to help out. Nurse him before bed, but don't let him fall asleep while nursing, put him in his bed sleepy and let him fall asleep on his own. When he gets up at night have dad go in and rock him, cuddle him, ect but no nursing. After a few nights he will probably no longer want to get up at night becuase nursing won't be involved. It will be a rough few nights ( its very tempting to just offer the breast when you know they will go right back to sleep, rather then being up for 45 minutes rocking, but you have to stick with it!)
If you are serious about weaning (keep in mind that it doesn't seem like your son is ready) I would recomend the "don't offer, don't refuse method". It may be slow goinging but it will be the gentlest on you both.

I feel for you. My first, a daughter slept through the night starting at 3 months. My son, like yours, nursed all night. I had a short reprieve when he had tubes placed in his ears at 16 months. He slept well for a few nights. Then he started nursing again. My pediatrician recommended the book- How To Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. It worked for a short while- until the next headcold. The the nursing 2-3 times / night resumed. He was nursing for comfort to get back to sleep. This went on until he was 25 months and finally weaned himself. It was about that time that I realized he was just not sleeping well by himself. I began co-sleeping and now he sleeps great. He is now 29 months. Before I had children I swore I would never let my kids sleep in bed with me. But after 2 years of no sleep- I am just grateful to get a good night's sleep. Some day I will figure out how to get him out of my bed. Right now I just want sleep.

Try goats milk, it's closer to breast milk...or soy milk(it's sweeter) but not to much(the whole no soy for boy rule)...worse case give him chocolate or strawberry milk...you can lessen the flavor after awhile...as for the sleeping through the night thing, he's waking up because it's his pattern so you have to change it...the way I've done that is by patting baby on the back and telling them I love you...if baby falls asleep GREAT...if not I let them cry it out....it takes about 3-4 horrible nights, go in and comfort baby and then say goodnight and don't go back in(or the process will take longer). I have 5 boys, 3 feel asleep with a little pat and 2 screamed for 3 nights straight and on the 4th sleep through. I recomend that if you are going to do this that you start on a friday night that way you and hubby aren't shot at work and can take naps if you need too. I also recommend a glass of wine and a tissue box :) (for you of course). As for the weaning from nursing 4 of mine stopped on their own and my 5th son I weaned by refusing to nurse him. (I had also tried everything and nothing worked) so after again a couple of days he was fine...he never took a bottle or a sippy cup he went straight to a straw cup(the sucking helps strengthen their jaw anyway...better for speech)...and don't worry he can drink water or juice, turns out my little guy is allergic to milk anyway...it's not the end of the world if he won't take milk and he won't go thirsty, it's just time for a little battle of the wills. Goodluck!

He is probably associating sleep with nursing and doesn't want to change his routine. That being said, you are the Mom and you are in charge! You could try cutting out nursing at the second nap. You will both get a break in the morning and if he screams his way through the second nap there is bed time after that. And work from there, I stopped the night feeding last, but maybe the morning nap will work for you, you decide. You say he will not drink milk from a bottle, try a sippy cup and skip the bottle. I wouldn't get into sweetened or chocolate milk with him, just use whole milk, every person I know who tried that trick ended up with another habit to break.

Finally, about sleeping through the night, I just stopped offering the breast when my son woke up (at the same age as yours). At this point he doesn't need the night feeding, it is a habit. I can't promise you that it will be smooth sailing when you do this. My son(at 3 1/2) just started, in the past 2 months (and only because of a sticker chart), to sleep through the night. I know exactly how exhausted you are. Hopefully he will adjust quickly and everyone can get some more sleep.

Good luck!

weaning is a tough process. I weaned my daughter at 7 months, because I was pregnant. I weaned my daughter cold turkey (I had to) and at first, she didn't want formula and didn't know what to do with a bottle, but she had to adjust. If anything it was much more emotional than the actual consumption of the liquid. I am wondering, I don't know the situation, but, maybe he needs mommy a little longer and not yet ready. My daughter's pediatricians feel strongly agains giving milk until the baby is 12 months old. Consult your son's pediatricians, and you may need to find an alternative.

Good luck,
R.

I agree with Marisa's advice...im kind of in the same boat - my son is 11 months old next week and still wakes at midnight, 3 am and 5 am to nurse. i continue to go in there and nurse him but decided that tonights the night im going to let him cry and not nurse him. i need my sleep too being that i work part time and my son needs to learn to self soothe - i know how you feel trust me, my son is my LIFE and i would do anything for him..up until 2 months ago he woke every 2 hours to nurse. good luck to both of us! D.

Hi M.
My 2 sons are 10 and 12 now but I always made new transitions a big event so the kids were excited about them. They stopped all nursing and bottles by 12 months. I made a big deal about using sippy cups and being big boys now instead of little babies. We had parades and sang songs about drinking out of cups so they were really excited about their accomplishments. As far as the bottles go, I didn't make a big deal about that and you probably don't need to anymore since it's not good for their teeth after 12m. The nursing is a source of comfort for your baby so perhaps you can start replacing by cuddling and reading a story or having some special time together but simply telling your child that you're not going to nurse during the day anymore (or whatever time you need/want to eliminate). You don't need to feel guilty about this. You're the mom and your child is growing up and believe me there are TONS of things to keep both of you happy, loved and nurtured without nursing. I bet if you add some more "big kid" activities during the day, he'll be sleepier at night. When he does wake up, go in and re-tuck him in. He'll learn quickly that you're into a new routine! Good Luck!!! P.

Two things that worked for us was not nursing for a nap that you thought would be the easiest and then another and then bed. At bed time it was Daddy's job to put baby down so it was clear that the breast was not an option. Also, Daddy took care of night waking for a while for the same reason. Yes she cried and threw fits for a little while, maybe a week but she lived and so did we. I would also suggest using sippy cups and not bottles. It seems like another habit you are creating. Best of luck.