Sleeping "Through the Night" Advice

Don't worry about it. Each child has takes their own time, as with everything else, to reach sleep maturity when they will sleep "through the night"- which is technical 5 hours straight sleep. Just like walking, you can't force them to do it any sooner than they are ready. Girls also tend to be higher needs. I'm very proud of you for co-sleeping. Let her eat and go back to sleep. My girls stopped wanting to eat at night when we weaned at 14 months. As long as they go back to sleep, everything is fine. Now if she is up for hours wide awake, then try quiter days, lots of holding and nursing during the day. Calm days and good naps, lead to calm nights and more sleep. Good luck and as soon as you stop worrying, she will solve the problem on her own.

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Most 4 mths old don't sleep through the night. All children are different, a lot of children at that age need to snack at night still. My eldest started sleeping through the night at 6 mths old and my youngest just turned 14mths and still doesn't sleep through the night. All children are different. If your child is still hungry then let her get a little bit older. Everyone is in such a rush to get their children to grow up and so many people are so desperate to get sleep. When you have children you don't get sleep that is what having a baby is all about. so many people ask why doesn't my 6 week old or 2 mth old sleep through the night, should I let them cry it out. Why do people like that have children? a 6 week old or 2 or 4 mth old are still too young to force to sleep through the night. If your baby is 6-8 mths old and wont sleep through the night then start asking the question. Use this time to bond with the child and comfort her, she is too young to expect to grow up already. Night feedings create such a special bond with your children that I wouldn't trade that time for any sleep. My husband never got up with my girls to feed them when they were babies and now he is noticing how important that was. They cry for me and only want me. They want me to feed them, dress them, comfort them when sick even get them out of the bath. MY husband feels so bad but he had that opportunity and choose sleep. I lost a lot of sleep but created a lifetime bond. Each your baby and let her be comforted at this stage in life.

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I think they all do it at their own pace really. My first one started sleeping through the night right at 4 months, the second didnt' do it until around 6. I know it's hard and you need your sleep but just try to treasure the moments now because they are gone so fast and they get big SO QUICK! Putting her in her own room around now would be good, maybe using some white noise in there so that outside noises don't wake her. Make sure she's dressed comfortably...not too cold, not too warm, and don't go to her at every peep, see if she will put herself back to sleep... but sometimes they still wake at night to eat so she may do that for a bit. All I can say, is treasure every minute of the snuggling at night! It goes away fast! Good luck!!!

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I'm not sure if 4 months is too young with co-sleeping. I know it's not too young when they sleep in a separate bed, but with co-sleeping, they wake up, know you are there, and then learn to use you to get back to sleep with your help.
If you want her to learn to get back to sleep on her own (waking up during the night is natural for everyone), then you'll probably need to first get her to sleep by herself. If this is something that you want, I would check out Good Night Sleep Tight and/or the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. Both which I have first hand experience knowing they work. They are built on the routine of the Babywise book, but have a gentler approach to teaching your child to sleep on her own.

If you are committed to a family bed, then I would read more up on Dr Sears and Attachment Parenting philosophies to see what you can expect from this approach. (I used the baby whisperer and my son was sleeping 11 hours a night by 16 weeks....)
Finally (I know I've recommended a lot of books)I would also read over Healthly Sleep Habits Happy Child--by Dr Marc Weissbluth. He is the child sleep Dr. and this book explains how much sleep children need based on age, how many naps, how long, etc. He has done tons of research and everyone (including Dr Sears quotes him). And he doesn't advocate any methods--CIO, Family bed--but instead gives you info based on all approaches.
It's really about what you want long term, and the kind of parenting approach you want to take. Good luck!

Does she wake up just to feed or does she actually want to be up?

YES to Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. Love that book, love love love it. I've got three kids, and we do a combination of co-sleeping/bed sleeping. HSH changed our lives in a wonderful way.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child is a great book to read. As soon as I started implementing it with my 4 month old twins they both started sleeping through the night. They are 16 months old and still sleep through the night. They have taught themselves how to fall asleep and put themselves back to sleep if they wake. The author also addresses naps and scheduling and it is broken down by age category. I got it on Amazon.com!

J.,
I have a 3 year old daughter and my son just turned one 3 weeks ago. I did the same thing with my daughter (co-sleeping) I moved her to her crib around 4-5 months old and I responded to every noise she made during the night and during naps. She did not sleep through the night until she was 1 years old. She is 3 and she still wakes up during the night at least 1 night per week. My son slept in a basinet until he was 3 months old and the bassinet was in his room (not mine) I had a video monitor and he has slept through the night since he was 8 weeks old.
My pediatrician asked me why I kept my daughter in my room for so long and I told him because I was afraid of SIDS and I thought it would be safer if all I had to do was open one eye and see her. He explained that if she were going to die of SIDS there is absolutely nothing I would be able to do to save her. Babies have died in their parents arms of SIDS. They just stop breathing and even if they were in a hospital they would not be able to save the baby.
He also explained that I never gave my daughter the chance to self sooth herself back to sleep between the age of 3-6 months which set the stage for what we still deal with today. He also explained that having her in my room I was possibly waking her up by my movements during the night, possible snoring, going to the bathroom, etc.
I know this is a hard time and you want to do the best thing for your baby. I truly thought I was doing the right thing keeping her in my room but my son has proven that theory wrong. I don't know if your baby takes a binki but it is proven that (pacifiers) help reduce the risk of SIDS. I wish you lots of luck and a full night of sleep. I have been tired for a couple years now and I wish our Ped. had told me this as soon as my daughter was born. Who knows maybe she wasn't born to sleep and it may not have made a difference but I will never know now. Rumor has it she will make up for lost sleep when she's a teenager!
Sincerely,
A. C.

Just a question: Do you really think a four month-old should sleep through the night? If you are breastfeeding, then you know that infants don't go as long between feedings as forumla fed babies. So, if you are breastfeeding, you're probably not going to get a full night's sleep. And co-sleeping encourages waking because of the proximity to the food source (your breast).

We have a three month-old, and we co-sleep (in our bed/on us) and breastfeed. Our longest stretch has been a four-hour sleep fest.

That said, if you want your baby to sleep more than two or three hours a stretch, then I would suggest formula feeding and/or putting your daughter in another room to sleep.

Good luck. We're not expecting to sleep through the night for many, many, many more months!

D.

It's a little early for that, but anything is possible. My now 12 month old daughter did pretty good at that age. It is time to let her "cry it out" slowly so you don't have to rock her or feed her to sleep. Then you can work on the all night thing. Try it at nap time and night time. It should only take a day or so, and just a few minutes to get her to sleep. Then, at night if she awakes and you know she's dry and not hungry, let her fuss a little instead of just picking her up. Use a binky or music. She'll get the idea after a few nights. My daughter has her own room now because it was too hard in our room. So you may want to move her out. Good luck. Sweet dreams!

Hi J.
I have 5 kids...and the old tried and true method of letting them cry it out works! Its so good for them on so many fronts...but hard on mom....the tears! Get a monitor so you can watch her/him....so you wont have to constantly go in and out! It is so great for my daughter to be 14 months and its bed time at 730...you go through your nightly ritual...bath, story, prayers...lay her down, turn on the monitor, purifier, close the door and night-night....she grabs her blanket and bears and rolls over! out like a light...until 7a! But yes, we had to go through the tears and crys of not wanting to do it when she was 5-6months! And it was 5-6mos because DAD wanted her to be in our room until she was 15! :) otherwise, it would have been at 3 months! so bite the bullet and do it. you will be so thankful and so will your baby...it teaches security..mom comes back...you will be ok! hope that helps!

what is a co-sleeper??

Hi J.! Your little one might be a little young to sleep all night but every baby is different. I knew mine wasn't ready until he was 6 mos old. Babies learn to sleep thru the night by learning how to sleep. It's funny that I never realized we have to teach the babies how to sleep! And getting good naps during the day makes a huge difference. Sleep gets you sleep! My best suggestions are to get into a strong bedtime routine that works for your family. And another biggie is not to use feeding to get the little one to sleep. Our bedtime routine was feeding (mine was breastfed), then bath, then bed. While getting my son ready for bed, I had the lights low so when we came into the room after bath, it continued with the relaxing mood. I got him dressed for bed and turned on his music and sat with him and rubbed his back and held him till he fell asleep. Everyone said not to hold them till they fall asleep but he learned how to put himself back to sleep just fine. Have to figure out what works for your little one. I literally did and said exactly the same things every night and he learned what to expect, knew what was coming and was sleeping thru the night by the end of the 6 weeks. I am not a fan of letting them cry it out at all! There are definitely better ways. Since you co-sleep, check out "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" The author co-slept with her little ones so she talks about her experiences and has some great tips.

I haven't read any of the responses you have gotten so if this has already been suggested I'm sorry for the double advice but.. have you tried swaddling her? You know how they had her in the blanket at the after you had her? They say it confines them enough to wear they are comfy but reminds them of the warm and comfort of being in the womb, it worked with my oldest.

Hi J.,
I recommend reading "On Becoming Babywise"... I can't remember whether it's pro-crib sleeping or handles co-sleeping, but it's perfect for either formula or breast-fed babies... mine slept through the night at 10 weeks, and was breast-fed, so I was thrilled! It's the best "schedule" book out there (which, we know helps us get them to hang through the night).

Good luck!
K.

Are you nursing??? Nursing babies sleep differently because they're sleeping the way nature intended--which is more wakeful.

Also look here:
http://askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

You've received a lot of great advice, but as you can tell, it is still confusing because everyone has different views on this. I HIGHLY recommend the book someone else suggested, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child - you can buy it right here at Target! :) It is full of information, and you will see 'results' as soon as you start implementing the principles in the book (and you don't have to read the whole thing to do that).

Above all, you have to decide what you can handle and what is best for your baby. You'll make the right decision - trust your instincts.

Hi J.,
We also have a 4 month old daughter and she has been sleeping through the night since she was 3 months old. She also slept in a co-sleeper but when I had to stop breastfeeding we moved her to her crib. The first 3-4 nights it was hard but we were consistent which is what I am told is key. We would lay her down right before she fell into a deep sleep after her nightime feeding aroun 9:30pm. If she was fussy we would pat her back or rub her tummy until she quit fussing. Then we would leave the room. If she got really fussy again we would repeat. We never picked her up to soothe her we just pat her back or rubbed her belly. Sometimes I just place my hand on her cheek and that works sometimes too. Hope this helps!
Good luck,
A.

I am a mom 2nd time around and was a professional Nanny in Boston. If you can get rid of the co- sleeper and put her in the pack in play at the end of your bed and than move that to the living room until you make it to the nursery.( I know for many moms this is quite an emotional process but... She is not sleeping because she smells you and or your MiLK. Babies are distracted by there moms smells. I followed a schedule of feedings throughout the day and bathed my daughter the same time every night and than put her to bed for the night. She was sleeping 6 hours by 6 weeks and 8 by 8 weeks because when and if she did wake up she would learn to self soothe back to sleep with pacifier or fingers. Obviously not smelling me unless she needed food she would sleep. She only cried loud to get up and feed.
She started off with her last feeding and bath at 10pm and than that moved up to 9pm and than 8pm and now she is 15 months and and she goes to bed at 7pm and sleeps till 7:00am. Good luck. Hope this helps.