Sleeping Through the Night - Garden City, MI

Hi N.,

I have an 18wk old and have been dealing with the same exact thing so I feel your pain! I'm a little irritated that someone told you to suck it up and be a mommy - what the heck? As if we aren't doing the best we can?
We have used the Baby Sleep Solution by Suzy Giordano and although it has taken almost 2 weeks, last night my daughter made it through the night without eating and she only woke up once at 5am, I changed her diaper and she actually fell back asleep before I was even done changing it. The most important things with this technique are a rigid schedule, now we put her to bed at 8pm and she sleeps until 8am, at first I had to give her two feedings in the night then this week just one, then just a couple ounces etc. What you do is when you reduce by an ounce at night you add it to the day feedings, they eat the same amount of food, they just eat more during the day. Then she only gets two naps about 1.5-2hrs each which I lay her down in her crib and she now falls asleep instantly with no fuss. Is he napping in the crib? Because I've trained my daughter now to know that when she goes in there that's what she needs to do is sleep. What else...she doesn't do the cry it out method but instead she has you only go in if the baby is wailing but not just babbling or crying because they do need to sooth themselves to sleep. This is working amazingly!!! I mean I have honestly gone from thinking my daughter is a horrible sleeper to now thinking she's great! She wakes up babbling and not crying and she's just so happy. Of course I feed her at 8am but she doesn't even act like its been 12hrs since she ate - she's just so content. Think about it though, we go all night without eating so eventually they would need to also. According to the book as long as the baby is at least 9lbs then by 8 weeks they are ready to go all night without a feeding. The reason that I tried this book is because the author says she has had 100% success, no child has ever failed it! These methods are good for babies up to 18 months and she guarantees that through the toddler years even you will not have any sleep issues - that got me interested!!! Especially if I plan to have another child, I need my first to sleep well.
Good luck to you!!! Hang in there, try to keep your son awake during the day - strip him down to a onesie if you have to so he's not warm enough to sleep as easily or have your other son help you entertain the baby to keep him awake. I bet he will be cranky at first, my daughter was but now I swear its amazing!!! Oh, my daughter is eating 6oz at 8am, noon, 4pm, and 8pm, napping at 10-11:30, and 2-4pm - make yourself a 12hr schedule that works for you but is similar!

One more thing - does your son use a pacifier? That is how I know if my daughter is hungry because if she wakes up and won't take her pacifier and go back to sleep and she's kind of grunting then I know she's hungry but before the training she just wanted to be held...I know because she'd be crying then once I pick her up she stopped!

1 mom found this helpful

Does he have GERD? Sounds like he may. Just because it isn't coming out of his mouth doesn't mean he isn't having it. Just as with us and heartburn - we don't always throw it up.
If they have GERD they will "self medicate", only take a few ounces at a time, this coats the esophogus. When he swallows it, it feel better for a short time.
He sleeps for short peroids at night because he is in pain. Takes "cat naps" because he is way to tired.
I would call my Dr.
Good Luck.

1 mom found this helpful

N.,

I recommend a book called Babywise. It is by Gary Ezzo and a doctor (I can't remember his name). This book is an awesome book, I used the information in it for both my kids. One thing that I am seeing by reading your post is the small cat naps and the snacking. You need to concentrate on getting him to take full feedings. The basic idea of the program is to follow 3 steps throughout the day.

1. Feeding- Put him on a 2 1/2 to 3 hour schedule. Work with him to take a full feeding. If he is hungry before his next scheduled feeding by all means feed him and restart the schedule at that time. It will take a little bit of time to get him to take a full feeding since he has been snacking for awhile.
2. Wake time- Keep him awake and have him play after he eats. This may be tough to do and will take some extra work on your part but the rewards will be worth it. This will help establish good daytime habits regarding sleeping etc.
3. Nap time- At first signs of tiredness, yawning, getting crabby or fussy put him to bed awake. I know that you said you were not fond of the crying it out theory, but he needs to learn to settle himself and to go to sleep on his own. All babies need to get rid of their pent up extra energy and they do this with crying. Learn his cry pattern. One of my boys was up to 15 minutes the other 12 minutes.

With a schedule the last 1-1/2 hours of the cycle is nap time. The schedule goes from start of feeding to the next feeding. Example....Eats at 8:00 a.m.; he should be ready for a nap anywhere between 9:00 and 9:30; put down for nap and he should sleep for 1-1/2 hours and then restart the cycle again.

At night decide what time will be his bedtime (keep that a set time so you can work on consistancy) Feed him and put him to bed. You will have to feed him in the middle of the night for a little bit until he stops snacking and catnapping during the day.

Note: Sometimes their internal clocks get stuck. If you are noticing that he is consistant at waking up at say 3:20/3:25 in the morning every morning, you may have to let him cry it out to help reset that clock. It does takes 3 days to set a habit and 3-5 to break the habit. I had to reset the internal clock with my boys. My strong-willed child it took 3 days, my 2nd one only needed one night of working it out to start sleeping through the night. Both of my kids were sleeping through the night by 9 weeks old (they were both breastfeed by the way and they were able to sleep from 10:00 p.m till 6:00 a.m) Now they sleep 12 hours without difficulty (I have a 3 1/2 year old and a 10-month-old).

The book explains all this much better than I could explain it.

I hope you find your solution. Everyone I know who has done this program has good eaters and great sleepers. Blessings! J.

Every Child is different.

Your child needs the extra feeds during the night, at his age he is not waking out of habit he is waking due to real hunger.

As for your opinion that he's not eating enough during the day...perhaps he has a small stomach that gets filled quickly. My 3rd child had a "dainty" appetite, she would nurse on just one side every 2-3 hours until she was probably 5 months old. Sure it was annoying, but it was what she needed.

Crying it out is cruel, young babies (less than year) do not cry for no reason. They cry because they have a real need. Suck it up be a Mommy and meet your child needs, this stage won't last forever I promise.

Try The No Cry sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantly.

EtA: Do NOT use Babywise by Gary Ezzo. That book has a black box on it from the American Academy of Pediatrics. It as been linked to Failure to thrive in infants, as well as other serious issues (ezzo reccomends "disciplining" young babies by slapping them!). Read about it here Ezzo.info

Don't let others make you feel guilty about the supposed "crying it out" method. They haven't read Babywise if they think it advocates letting your child scream all night til they fall asleep.

All it is is a feeding method. My son was sleeping thru the night (1030-630) at 8 weeks and now sleeps 730-730, without ever having woken up in the middle of the night to be fed....EVER. He is 19 months old. If you want your sanity back, read Babywise. Deep nighttime sleep is good for mommy's sanity and for baby's development.

I am always surprised that young parents think their infants shouldn't wake during the night. Even older children often do this! I definitely wouldn't let him cry it out. It is terrifying for them and makes them feel totally unloved and abandoned! Little ones want to be near you and to be held and comforted. It's not just about eating. They can't understand and all they want is a parent to take care of them. I know there are books out there that make it seem like a parent's convenience is the top priority. When a baby writes a book from his perspective, we'll hear the real story! Rest when you can, let some stuff go if you need to, see if your hubby wil sometimes get up since you're not breastfeeding. This too shall pass, N.!

As frustrating as it is, this sounds like a typical sleep/wake/feed pattern for a 4 month old. I would recommend the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. It's been a great resources for our household. Best of luck!

Babies are not meant to sleep 12 hours through the night. MIne never did. My daughter was up every night for 7 months. and she was up multiple times a night for at least 4 or5 months. I was thrilled when she got down to only 1 wake up per night.

My son woke up on the middle of the night until he was at least a year.

This is normal for young infants.

I loved Babywhisperer too! I also used it with my first.

I read Jodi Mindell's book Sleeping Through the Night after my pa reccommended it when my lo was 6 months old and getting up every 2-3 hours. It was very helpful for us and it helped her sleep better. However, even with all of our tricks and things that we tried, she really didn't start consistantly sleeping through the night until she was 11 months.

Good luck!

babywise is awesome!!!

Hello, Have you tried puting some rice cereal in his bottle? You will have to make the hole in the nipp;le a little bigger but not to big. That's so the cereal can get through. You don't have to make it real thick but a nice texture. I'm a grandmomther of 20 plus and maybe a great-grandmother by now....I gave my kids what they call a cereal bottle. After I did that they started sleeping all night. They were about 5-6 weeks old. They were cranky and theyt were hungry. Tyr a cereal bottle. Use rice cereal. All baby's for some reason like that cereal best. Dr's and books say different. I'm also a retired RN. You can try your little one on the rice bottle during the day also. If he has been really cranky, that's why he is hungry. I know the Dr. will say he is to young. But he is not. Think back when great-grand parents were born they didn't have all the stuff we have today. So, they fed the babies what they had. I hope I've been some help for you. You all Take Care.

Hello there - I know you're exhausted but your baby is only 16 weeks - i.e. very small - he's probably waking up because he is hungry and I think he's too young to cry it out, something I think is very tough to do - babies only have one way of communicating at that age and that's by crying. Why don't you leave him to sleep, tho, instead of waking him up at 11ish - perhaps you are disturbing him and he's having problems getting back into a deep sleep. I have three children and one of mine was a truly horrible sleeper.....not sleeping through the night until he was about three. My little one (six) was sleeping through by six months....all kids are so different, but remember you will survive this and it will get better as he gets older - take care - Alison

Hi N.

Thanks for asking the question. I have no advice for you but I can anticipate I may have this problem as well. I have a 7 year old who was a "textbook baby" according to the Baby Whisperer. My 4 week old is a completely different creature. A "touchy baby" I think. Her methods worked great with my first but I just don't think it is working well this time. It's like she assumes you have nothing else to do but follow the EASY schedule. My daughter is home from school for the summer and still needs my attention as well!
I have read everyones advice and will keep it in mind for the future. Good Luck!

Why do you think he doesn't need to eat at night? He's only 16 weeks old! Of course he does! It's his job to grow, so he needs those calories.

I would recommend trying to get a better nap schedule during the day before worrying about nighttime sleep. Napping during the day = better nighttime sleep.

Your baby sounds just like my daughter! She is 9 months old now and FINALLY sleeping through the night. I would definitely check into GERD/gas or formula intolerance. My daughter, at 4 months, would barely drink 3oz at a time. Once we put her on the hypoallergenic formula, things improved remarkably. She was sleeping better, eating better, and happier all around. I agree with a previous poster that it is WAY to early for crying it out.

N., This stage can be so hard! I have 4 with one on the way, and all that I can say is that every child is different and has a different style. A really good book is Dr. Sears' "Nighttime Parenting". It explains a lot and gives really good suggestions for dealing with it.

For us, the baby sleeps with me and eats as often and as long as it desires to, and we both can doze, too. Also, since the baby is with me, our sleep cycles coincide so we both are waking up about the same time and so I am not so exhausted, even when the baby feeds 4-6 different times in the same night (an occasional occurrence during growth spurts, even with frequent feedings during the day, too!). I breastfeed, but even with bottle feeding, having the baby so close to you while sleeping will help to regulate your sleep cycles to the baby's so it won't be so exhausting when he does need to feed. However, having you so close to him might also help him sleep more at night so he won't need to feed so often. Sometimes the baby just wants to know you are there.

As for the "crying it out" method, I don't suggest it. That only teaches thw baby that he is not being heard or considered, and he, helpless, can do nothing about it. With that method, babies don't "learn their lesson", they eventually give up out of despair. And, it doesn't do the mother any good either. To do it you have to stifle all your God-given mothering instincts and it desensitizes you to your baby's needs at other times too. It makes the mother hard. I tried it once with my first baby. I realized the horrible things that were happening to both of us, and didn't do it again, and tried my best to undo whatever damage I had done to my baby and myself. That method is pure evil! Children, especially babies, are completely innocent, and should not be treated as if they weren't.

Remember that a baby needs food and comfort at night as well as during the day, and it's wants are it's needs. The baby is not trying to manipulate you. He is only doing his best to communicate his needs the best he can. Just think: what would you do if you couldn't do anything for yourself and you couldn't talk? And, you digested your food really fast so you needed to feed frequently?

Another thing, your baby might be going through a growth spurt and so needs to eat more frequently and also sleep more, day and night. Growth spurts happen pretty often during the first weeks and months of a baby's life!

I hope this helps a little -- Good luck!

I have a 18 week old and I've read The Happiest Baby on the Block by H.Karp and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by M. Weissbluth. Both have been very helpful for me. Good luck!