Sleeping Through the Night - Stratford,CT

Updated on March 21, 2009
A.N. asks from Stratford, CT
40 answers

Everyone keeps telling me that my 6 month old should be sleeping through the night by now. She gets up at least once a night. I just cant seem to get her to make it through the entire night without waking up. What am I doing wrong?

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your advice moms! It makes me realize that my daughter being up once a night really isnt such a bad thing. Yes I know she is teething and that does contribute to her being fussy some nights which causes her to be up more. But all in all I guess I need to go with my instinct and not with what others are telling me.

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T.M.

answers from Utica on

you are doing nothing wrong. your child just isn't a child that is like "most children" whatever that means. All children are different. I was blessed because mine were all sleeping through the night at 10 to 14 days. not all are that blessed. If your baby is turning their schedual around, then just keep her from napping more than 5 mins at a time through the day. My grandmother taught me that one. when they fall asleep, just wake them up after about 5 mins, pick her up and play with her, washer her face etc. it took one day of that for my daughter and she slept through the night after that, but she already slept about 7 to 8 hours straight. The thing that i found was to go to bed and go to sleep when the baby went to sleep. then i got as much as i could. maybe dad can get up once in a while. not all children are going to sleep through the night that soon. Remember your baby is an individual, and all babies are different. don't beat yourself up.

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A.U.

answers from Binghamton on

A.,
I don't have any advice for you but I wanted to make you feel a lot better. I have an 11 month old that gets up 6-7 times a night. Enjoy your 1 time. :)

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S.L.

answers from Binghamton on

stop listening to those people:)

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B.C.

answers from New York on

Nothing. Every child is different. My son didn't sleep through the nite until he was 18 months old. Unless she's exhibiting other behavior or medical problems, why fight her schedule. Go with your instincts not outside influence. Good luck.

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T.W.

answers from New York on

Every baby is different-YOU are not doing anything wrong!My sisters child is 7 months, still has never slept throught the night and my brothers baby is just over six months and has been sleeping through from one month old! Mine will be six months next week and last night was the first night that he didn't get up in the middle of the night to nurse (it's the only time i nurse still). That is not to say that he didn't fuss during the night though because he did! My now 4 year old was definitely sleeping straight through at this point-but if he didn't nap enough during the day, would not sleep well at night.

She may be looking to spend some time with you, maybe she is a light sleeper and something wakes her, maybe she is not eating enough during the day and requires a night feeding, maybe she is starting to teeth....there are many things that may cause a child not to sleep through the night when according to everyone else they are capable.

I am friendly with a parent at our business who happens to be a pediatrician who has two children and she says that she NEVER get a solid nights sleep. One or the other gets up every night!

You could try changing up her routine, depending on what it is you think is causing the disruption. And if it's nothing, maybe she just needs to get a little older. GOOD LUCK. I will be thinking of you and all the other mothers at 3am tonight when I am sure mine will wake me!!

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L.B.

answers from New York on

A. sweetie, you are not doing anything wrong! Some kids just don't sleep through the night until later. I finally made peace with it with my two boys. My oldest never slept through until he was 12 months old and my youngest was 10 mos. before he slept through. Trust me, I did all the right things, read all the books, etc. She will sleep through the night when she is ready. I am pregnant with my third boy and I am not expecting him to sleep through the night either. Just know that eventually they do.

Take care,

L.

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R.Q.

answers from New York on

How long does the "everyone" consider the "entire night." My daughter "slept through" from birth in my opinion. She slept 6 hours nursed, peed while still in a dozing state and slept 6 again and had a nap in the early morning after being up for an hour. It helped that we co-sleep, but still I consider that sleeping through the night ;)

As long as your 6 month old is waking up in the morning rested then she's getting enough sleep at night. There are tons of reasons a baby would need to wake up at night (especially if the night is longer than 6 hours). If you are breastfeeding, your baby is probably hungry at that time and needs a midnight munchie (FFbabies may need this as well). Another possibility is that your baby's bladder may be waking her up. (We started elimination communication, because my daughter would wake herself up if she had a full bladder and would not sleep until she had relieved herself and was in a clean diaper :D ) Maybe she needs the reassurance you are nearby. Or perhaps she got too warm/cold and woke up.

So like other's have said, you aren't doing anything wrong if your baby isn't "sleeping through" the night at 6 months old. Continue what you are doing and ignore the "everyone" and their unsolicited advice :D

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A.J.

answers from New York on

FYI - My daughter did not sleep through the night until at least 2 years old! This is normal. Are you nursing? Take everything you hear with a grain of salt - everyone's child is different!!! I found that co-sleeping was the best option with me especially while nursing. I feel that everyone got better sleep that way. It may be a bad habit to start, but it worked for me. My daughter has been sleeping in her own twin size bed for almost six months now - she'll be 3 in June, and she sleeps through the night almost all the time. Get the book - "The No-Cry Sleep Solution", by Elizabeth Pantly. She makes one for toddler's too! Also, Dr. Sears is very helpful. Best of luck to you.

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J.B.

answers from New York on

Hi A.,

Don't despair that your 6 month old isn't sleeping through the night. Each child has its own mind as to when to begin sleeping through the night. I was up every 3 hours day and night with my son when he was little for the first year. He was a hungry little guy (and still is as an adult). Perhaps she isn't getting enough food to keep her sleeping. When my grandson was born, he too had a problem sleeping though the night, so my son and daughter-in-law gave him his cereal and a bottle around 11:00. I would take him on Sunday nights so that my son and daughter-in-law could sleep, and I gave him the cereal and a bottle (sometimes he was almost sleeping, but would open his little mouth for the food and bottle). This seemed to work for him and he's now a strapping 17 year old. Babies do their own thing, so don't despair. You might try feeding your daughter before you go to bed at night, and perhaps she will sleep through the night for you. I wish I had known that with my son instead of getting up every 3 hours because he was hungry.

Another 'trick' you might try is to play some soft music in the room. Some babies like to sleep to the music since it calms them down. Maybe the combination of late feeding (or an extra feeding before bed) and the music might do the trick for you.

Lots of luck, and I hope you get your own sleep at night.

J. B.

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J.P.

answers from Syracuse on

My last baby did not sleep through the night until she was 14 months old. My doctor said every baby is different and some just don't sleep through the night until they are older. Unless you want to "ignore" her when she wakes and let her cry it out until she falls back to sleep on her own. I couldn't bring myself to do that. My other three didn't start sleeping through the night until they were around 10 months. I wouldn't worry about it. Every baby is different. Her sleeping will balance out eventually.

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M.A.

answers from San Francisco on

First of all...what do you mean by sleeping through the night? The mommy version (all night - 11/12 hrs) or the doctor version (8 hrs straight)? I have a 7 month old and at our 6 month appt the doctor said he should be going 8 hours straight. He was at the time - he would only get up once for a feeding during the night. She told me it wasn't even about sleep for me or my hubby but something w/ the baby needing it for their digestive system. I don't remember the details but they need a break from eating every 3 hrs or so. My son now sleeps 11 hours straight. He woke up crying one morning and I got up to fix the bottle. When I got to his room he had stopped crying and fell back asleep. I was stunned! I didn't know what to do! I figured he'd wake back up soon since he was hungry so I slept on the floor of his room for a bit. Never woke up again until the morning! I finally realized he didn't need to eat that meal. Since then he'll wake himself up once during the night and I just give him time to cry a little and go back to sleep. You'd think he'd be STARVING when he wakes up but he's not! We give him his first bottle about 30-45 minutes after he gets up! If you baby isn't sleeping a good stretch...at least 6-8 hours...then I'd talk to your doctor and see what they say. Don't worry...you aren't doing anything wrong. I was surrounded by babies my kid's age that were all sleeping 8-12 hours from 2 months! Every baby is different! I have a few friends that had babies that woke up once a night for a feeding until they were over a year old. Just make sure your baby is getting at least that one long stretch that he/she needs for him/her...not us! Hang in there!

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S.C.

answers from New York on

Hi A.,
My son is 22 mos old and is only just starting to sleep thru the night. So I have read my fair share of books, articles, etc. on sleeping. One thing that stands out in my mind is that it is NORMAL for babies to wake several times during the night for at least the first year. Babies' systems just aren't ready for sleeping such long stretches. Society makes us believe that there is something wrong with our kid if they don't start sleeping through the night by 6 mos. Babies who start sleeping thru the night before their first birthday are not normal, so don't stress too much about it! If you are really concerned, check out some books from your library. If you are against CIO, read "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley.
If you think she has started teething, try Hyland's Teething Tablets (drug free).
Good luck!
PS - You aren't doing anything wrong!!

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L.L.

answers from New York on

First of all, don't listen to people who say such crazy things. Every child is different. My child was sleeping thru the night at 4 months old, but many of my friends children still wake up throughout the night, even as toddlers!

You aren't doing anything wrong. Hang in there, one of these nights she will sleep straight through! I promise!

Lynsey

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A.C.

answers from New York on

You're not doing anything wrong. Like adults, some kids are good sleepers, some aren't. I have two kids -- one has always had a rough time sleeping, the other slept through the night beautifully from 8 weeks on. I did nothing different with one or the other. Just hang in -- she'll get there. Six months is still young.

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E.S.

answers from Albany on

maybe she has started teething

My twins one slept through at 5 months the other at 2 years. My other daughter did sleep between 2 and 6 at 1 month. I think they all are different. You did not say anything about day naps or at what hour bedtime and wake up is.

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J.B.

answers from New York on

All children are different so don't be too h*** o* yourself (-: Are you sure that she is full? Perhaps she needs a bottle of milk right before bed? Best of luck!

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N.K.

answers from New York on

You are not doing anything wrong. I to have a 6 mth old that is not sleeping through the night. She is my fourth baby and they all learned to sleep eventually. By a year they were all sleeping without getting up. I never let them scream for hours with out going in to see them. I don't believe that all babies can go all night at this age - after all they did not read the book that they should be sleeping longer. They are waking up because they need something. Do you ever get up in the middle of the night to get a drink because your mouth is dry - why can't they. I think that this time is so short and so precious I can live with waking up once a night for a few months more. Also they may be in pain - teething starts around now and sometimes they just want to be held because that makes it feel better. Don't think you always have to do everything that the books or other people say - follow your instincts. Every family is different and you have to do what you need to survive the day. I would rather loose 15 minutes of sleep by going in to see her, than the 45 or so that it would take to let her cry herself back to sleep. Just my opinion and it has worked for me 4 times.

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K.E.

answers from New York on

My daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was 10 months old and right before she did that she was waking every half an hour for me to put her pacifier back in her mouth. Hang in there and don't worry what other's tell you....your daughter will sleep through the night when she is ready.

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J.H.

answers from New York on

Every kid is different, but I will tell you that once I put overnight diapers on my son he was sleeping from 6pm until 6am. So, you may want to try that, but like everyone else said if she is only get up after 7-8 hours and its for a feeding that is so normal and your doing nothing wrong. Good luck and don't listen to those nay-sayers!

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C.S.

answers from Albany on

Don't worry. Not every kid sleep through the night by 6 month, specially if you are breastfeeding. Waking up once is not bad.

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J.V.

answers from Syracuse on

I wouldn't worry about it. My daughter will be 2 in May and she still wakes up once during the night at least 4-5 times per week. Some kids are just like that.

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J.G.

answers from Rochester on

My daughter didn't sleep through the night till closer to 11 months when I decided to stop going in her room to nurse at around 1AM (she would wake up crying). It was only hard the first 2-3 nights when she cried (up to 45 min). I think it was more habit for her to wake up in the middle of the night than anything. She certainly wasn't going to starve if I didn't nurse her.

Your baby may do it on her own or maybe when your ready you might have to do something, whatever feels right:-) I just got too tired of waking up and finally decided I had to do something.

Good luck and just because she isn't sleeping through the night does not mean that you are doing anything wrong, there is no "right" or "perfect" way:-)

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L.D.

answers from New York on

You are not doing anything wrong. My son is 7.5 months old & half of the nights he sleeps through the night. The other half, he wakes up once (time varies). It is ok to have up to two wakenings during the night up to 9 months. Feed, change diaper and put right back to sleep. If it seems that she wants to play at the wakening and not eat, then you have to ignore her and not go into the room.

Wakeup time should be between 6-7 am, morning nap to start around 9-10a, early afternoon nap to start between 12-2p, late morning nap to start between 3-5p (not all babies at 6 month need 3rd nap), and bedtime to start 6-8p. Buy the Marc Weissbluth, MD book: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It explains all of this and more! Excellent book!

Good Luck!

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J.V.

answers from Utica on

all babies are different. My daughter didn't sleep through the night until 10 months. Then she just did it- that was that! Don't worry.

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D.V.

answers from New York on

The question you should be asking is whether or now you want her sleeping through the night. If you don't mind getting up with her than do nothing. Just don't be surprised if at 4 and 5 she is still getting up. She will have developed a habit by then that will be really hard to break later on down the road, including adulthood. If you want her to rest through the night, there are techniques you can follow to teach her to self soothe and then be able to fall back to sleep without being fed or picked up. What do you want?

If you would like some suggestions on techniques, let me know.

D.

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M.A.

answers from New York on

you're doing nothing wrong. some children just don't sleep through the night until nine or ten months. my son slept through at six months, my daughter 10 months. give it time.

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C.L.

answers from New York on

Hi A.,

I wouldn't worry about what other parents are saying. My God-son didn't sleep through the night until he was 6. There are no cookie cutter rules for individual children. Not all children sleep through the night. Those are the facts, not the opposite. Expect the unexpected and you won't be disappointed.

I hope this helps.

C.

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D.

answers from New York on

Your not doing anything wrong. The average is 6 mos. My son was 7 mos and my daughter 9 mos before they did it. And even then I had to push them. My daughter I decreased her bottle by 1 oz every couple days until she got nothing but rocking. It took a week or so but she did it. I know your going to get people telling you to give cereal. It never worked for either of my kids or anyone else I know. If it doesn't bother you then just keep doing it. It is only once. But there is nothing your doing wrong. Especially if she's breastfed.

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C.L.

answers from Buffalo on

I remember many people telling me the same thing. I remember hearing the accusations "He's not sleeping through the night yet?"
My son was exclusively breastfeed until I started feeding him solids. And even though he is a great eater he still wakes through the night.
He is now 13 months old and I sometimes look at him and think "he's no longer a baby; he's a little boy." It makes me a little sad that I will never have that time back.
When my son wakes through the night calling out for me and I am so tired I just wish he would sleep; I remind myself that the parenting journey will have lots of sleepless nights. I would rather awaken to comfort my son as a baby than not be able to sleep because he's a teenager and out hanging with his friends.
Don't worry about what others will tell you. Rely on your mothers instinct and enjoy this time in your child's life. Her time as a baby will end fast.

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H.G.

answers from New York on

Oh my gosh- you aren't doing anything wrong!!! Whenever anyone says "your baby should be _______" you need to take a step back and breathe! Babies aren't "supposed" to sleep through the night at 6 months. Some do, some don't. If she's only waking up once, then she's doing just fine.

And so are you! :)

My son didn't sleep through the night without waking until I let him fuss it out, and learn to soothe himself. I also gave him a teddy bear, which he LOVES and helps him soothe himself as well. Sometimes pacifiers make it harder for babies to sleep through the night too, because they fall out and the baby wakes up.

But your baby could be completely different! Be patient, and try what feels right for you. You both will figure it out, and she'll sleep through when she's ready.

Oh, and little babies can take longer to sleep through the night, too. Is she a peanut?

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K.E.

answers from New York on

That IS sleeping through the night! You're doing nothing wrong. Every child is different. My first woke every 2 hours for a year! My second slept 3-4 hours each stretch. And my third now sleeps 4 hours and then wakes every 2-3 hours.

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L.D.

answers from Albany on

You aren't doing anything wrong and neither is your baby. I love how people tell new parents that babies are supposed to be doing X by Y. Period. My 19 month old still gets up. Both his brothers were the same way until they were about 2 and then they began sleeping through the night. People will start to tell you that you are having her create bad sleep habits and that you need to let her cry it out. That does not teach self soothing in my opinion. That teaches them to give up because no matter how hard they cry or for how long, mommy and daddy aren't coming. That is not a message I want my children getting. Like I said, my older two boys have no issues sleeping. If you are ok with her schedule, follow her cue and ignore everybody else. She will sleep through the night when SHE is ready.

Take care.

L.

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L.P.

answers from New York on

If you are loving her, than you are doing NO wrong. My philosophy is that babies will do what babies want to do. Give yourself a break. Eventually she will sleep through the night (or not). And, either way, it will all be good. Stick to a routine, love her, pray a lot, and keep your sense of humor. In another six months she'll be doing or not doing something else, and you will have forgotten about her not sleeping through the night.
Enjoy every waking moment.
Best of luck.

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C.R.

answers from Glens Falls on

hi A.,
You're not "doing" anything wrong! Babies don't all follow the same book, and I tried everything in every book to get mine to sleep through the night -- which, as far as I remember, is technically a six hour-stretch at that age.
My son is 5 and still wakes up once a night. I breastfed him until he was 18 ms old and I think that probably established a waking pattern that hasn't stopped yet. I'm just thankful he doesn't wake up every 2 hours to eat anymore, like he did the first year of his life. If she's only waking up once at night, it sounds like she already is "sleeping through the night." Don't worry!

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E.E.

answers from Albany on

"sleeping through the night" is considered sleeping 6 hours straight. If she is doing that, then she is fine. Once a night is no big deal, especially if you think she is teething. My son has been sleeping all night since he was about 4 months old, but during times when he is teething or sick, he will wake up, even now that he is 14 months old. I think at that age, my son was waking up around 4 or 5 am and I would change him, breastfeed him and then he would go back down for a few hours. don't worry about it right now. she is totally normal.

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D.S.

answers from New York on

A.,

You are not doing anything wrong!!!! All babies are different. Although 6 months is the average I have know babies who sleep through at 3 months and others who take 9 months. When ever anyone uses the words SHOULD BE just tell them they SHOULD BE worrying about their own children. It really bothers me when someone makes a new mom feel bad or that she is doing something wrong. Some babies need a little more time and sometimes there are things you can try to help it along. Is she nursing during the night or just waking because she can't get herself back to sleep. The way I got mine to sleep through was I would try to cut out the middle of the night feeding by using a pacifier or just rubbing their back to get them back to sleep. After a few nights they would realize there was nothing worth waking up for and started sleeping through. But you must make sure she is not hungry. Breastfed babies can take longer to sleep through them bottle fed babies. Some babies just do it on their own. What worked for one of my kids did not work for the other so don't get yourself caught up in the should be's. Babies reach each milestone when they are ready. If getting up once a night is not bothering you then let her be if not then maybe try to stall her feedings and see what happens. You may loose a little sleep in the training process but it may help teach her to sleep through the night for you. Good luck with you beautiful baby girl!!

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B.P.

answers from New York on

First of all, don't stress it. Most babies do sleep throught he night at 6 months, but many do not. There are things you can do to encourage her to sleep through the night. These things are a solid bedtime routine, a nice big feeding at night, making sure she is comfortable physically, having her in a sepparate room, ect. BUT I really do believe that some kids will continue waking up once at night no matter what you do. I have several friends who have this situation. They thought would stop when they stopped giving the bottle, but no, it still continued. So try the tips and techniques and if you are not upset by it, then just let it ride. I never let my son just cry for more than a minute or two (sometimes babies cry in their sleep) because I wanted him to feel that I was there for him when he needed me. He has been sleeping through the night since 4 1/2 months. Lots of mom feel differently. Do what feels right and don't worry about other's opinions!

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S.B.

answers from Syracuse on

I can't stand when people tell moms that there child should be doing this or that by now. ALL babies and kids are different. All 3 of my children have done different things at different times. Your daughter will sleep through when she is ready. My daughter didn't till she was 1. You will hear comments forever about what your kids are and are not doing. I know people try to help, but talk to your pedeatrician if your that worried about something. No your not doing anything wrong.

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K.H.

answers from Utica on

Hi A.
Stop listening to everyone.
They are not living with your baby. The average child is just that average. Many sleep through the night sooner, but many also sleep through the night much later. Three of my four didn't sleep through til much later.
Relax, in my experience it all changes in a month anyway.
You don't say you have tried cereal at night yet, or whether she is waking up, or waking up hungry.
I can tell you you are doing nothing wrong, except the listening to others thing. We have all gotten caught in that trap, but no two children are alike, even when they are both yours and born at the same time.
God bless you and you family
K. SAHM married 38 years --- adult children 37,33,and twins 18.

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