Sleeping Through the Night- 3 1/2 Month Old, Is It Possible?

If she makes little noises and squirms during the night... just wait.. don't rush in, and this may be just normal sleep noises & rustling around and not exactly her "waking up" per say.

If she does wake, cry, need you... then go to her and feed her/nurse her. At this age, you do not want her to "Cry it out." Nor later either. But that is up to you.

At her age, she's probably also changing developmentally and their sleep patterns change too....

Each baby is different, with different dispositions and sleep patterns/abilities.

Your daughter seems to need to feed a lot, cluster feeding... which is common for breastfed. That's the way it is with breastfeeding... every 3 hours or less. As an infant.. they need and must feed on demand. Do not feed her according to a "schedule." Not with breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is arduous... and takes time, and stamina. I breastfed both my kids until they self-weaned. Not easy, but I"m glad, and glad they are done. LOL

I can understand you have your hands full with 2 young ones. But, you do need to feed on demand... "getting" a baby to sleep through the night, especially at this age... is not always easy. AND sleep patterns fluctuate, all the time, and at each growth spurt or developmental change. In your case, maybe your girl is going through a growth spurt... and if so, she DOES need to feed more, and even if she wakes during the middle of the night. They NEED the extra calories and feedings when they are growing....their intake naturally increases.

Also, even though it seems like you are nursing her round the clock, which is normal... make sure that your milk production is still keeping pace with her needs... if not, she may need more and is simply hungry all the time. If she is waking so much, that may be why...she is not getting enough...even though she is at your breast. BUT, if you give her breastmilk in a bottle...in lieu of a direct nursing from breast....this "can" affect your own milk production, thereby decreasing it. SO, keep that in mind.

Direct nursing from the breast, is the best way to insure your body is keeping up with the intake needs of a baby....the body will naturally adapt to the drinking amount the baby is "demanding." Breastmilk output is all about supply and demand and frequency.

When she is nursing, make sure she is nursing/suckling properly. Make sure she is not just hanging onto the tip of your nipple...make sure the ENTIRE areola is in her mouth and her mouth is encircling it.. and you "hear" sucking sounds AND swallowing. If she is not nursing properly...then they are probably not getting in enough intake.

If your girl is waking every hour... first check diaper, check for gas, check for poop. But, if she is hungry... which is probably the case... you want to make sure she is nursing LONG enough during EACH nursing so that she gets to the "hind" milk...this takes at least 15 minutes.. and the baby should nurse longer, to make sure they get the full components of the breastmilk. If she is waking every hour... it may well be a growth spurt and you do just have to go with it and feed her... that is a baby's needs. They get hungry. I too nursed my kids with both breasts at each session... and for however long it took them, and they nursed me dry each session at each breast. My kids also fed a lot. But so it was.

Now, for "Plan B." WHERE is Hubby in all this? He works form home, right? Well, perhaps, HE can be the one to give your girl her "feeding" at night? Thereby, allowing you some needed and deserved rest and sleep. Afterall, you have 2 young babes... and I'm sure he can certainly help run interference for you and pinch hit the feedings at night? Once a woman has 2 children.... it certainly becomes even more imperative that Hubby helps out with things, as much as is possible. Tell him that if a Mama is stressed and does not get adequate rest...it can affect her breastmilk supply. This is true.

IF you do go with giving pumped breastmilk bottles at night... just be extra sure to KEEP to nursing her on demand during the rest of the day and evening... your body should adapt to that... and still produce adequate milk. That is the general logic at least, with breastfeeding and milk supply.

All the best,
Susan

2 moms found this helpful

Dear L.:

Susan's advice was fantastic. The only thing I'd add would be this. In my case, my children nursed about every hour...it was exhausting to fight it. So, we discovered co-sleeping and the problem went away since the child just helps themselves to the breast while mom keeps sleeping. I know this sounds radical, but it worked for me and I wanted to offer you an alternative to being sleepy all the time. With co-sleeping, there is no crying at night and everyone sleeps!

Best wishes,

M.

1 mom found this helpful

You are only weeks away from when it is possible and expected for babies to make it through the night. Since you say she regressed, its probably a growth spurt. She'll drop that midnight feeding in no time. In the mean time, can dad take the midnight feeding to help you? Tell him its temporary. I also couldn't handle the bassinet because every sound was amplified by my hyper mommy allertness. Move her as far from you as possible (even if its the living room) and use a fan for white noise to drown out those gurgely noises. My husband took over the midnight feeding for me and I am forever indebted to him. One unorthodox thing that really saved me was that I put my baby in her swing all night for a while there. When I confessed to her pediatrition what I had done, she said it was perfectly safe but that I would have a terrible time breaking the habit. Well, lets just say for about 6 weeks it saved me from certain melt down and I broke her of the habit while she was still young (4.5 months).
When I moved my baby to her own room, I got up less because she was able to fuss herself back to sleep rather than me waking and feeding at every fussy spell. If the living room is the only option, then get a bassinet (or portable crib) on wheels and put that baby in the living room, dining room, or even a bathroom! Its okay to factor your needs into the mix. I only had one baby and felt I came near to death from lack of sleep. I can only begin to imagine how you are coping. Ask for help from friends and relatives to babysit while you get an afternoon nap, Even if they just take the older one out for an afternoon.

Hi L., from what I have read in all ofthese mamasource questions and going by my daycare parents, there are sleep issues with breast fed babies. I started giving my babies rice cereal in their bottles at 6 weeks old, and they slept throufgh the night from six weeks on. My daycare moms that are in the Military and have to get up early for work switched to formula after 6 weeks so their babies would sleep through the night. J. L.

Breastfeeding has nothing to do with the sleep schedule. I breastfed both my boys to 1 year old. They were both great sleepers. Hang it there! It is probably just a growth spurt.

But make sure she really is hungry before going in to feed her. Give her 10 minutes to go back to sleep before you try feeding her. It's tricky when they are sharing a room because you don't want the baby to cry & wake up the older child. We had the same situation & had to move the baby to the office occasionally. I really think it's a gift to teach your child to go to sleep on his own. Give her a chance to discover a way to soothe herself.

Give it time she is after all only 3 1/2 months. My breastfeed baby is almost 6 months and is still waking up at night tp feed. My husband and I started about a week ago giving her a bottle before bed with 2 oz formula and 2oz breast milk, she olnt drinks about 3 - 3 1/2oz of the bottle. She sleeps better but not through the night. My first baby also breastfeed was sleeping through the night by 8 weeks, so I think it just depends on the baby. There really isnt much we can do as parents to get them to sleep trough. Good luck. I know every night when I go to bed I pray that this will be the night that she sleeps....and then she wakes up! I guess we should just enjoy the one on one time because before we know it they wont need us anymore.

i, too, am in the same situation. i have a 15 month old and a 3 week old daughter. both are breastfed and looking back on my baby log for #1, she got up every three hours if not more sometimes to feed. it didn't matter what time of day it was. i am, however, having problems with #2 waking up from 3 a.m. to 6 a.m. every night with a belly full of gas. she is very squirmy and won't basically sleep unless she is held. she is also in a bassinet next to my bed.

i would recommend putting your daughter into some type of either temporary crib like a pack n play in your room or transferring her into the room with your son. by month #2 for my first, we already had her in the crib and out of the bassinet. i don't think those bassinets are all that comfortable and getting her into a larger space might mean more comfort for her as well as a little distance from you.

we are planning on putting #2 into a pack n play pretty soon in our room since our first daughter is still in her crib in her own room. once she is ready to transfer out of her crib then we will put #2 in the room with her....hoping that will happen within the next year...

good luck and take naps! that is the only thing that saves me....

My son would wake up about 3 times a night by that time. I was just transitioning to formula (which helped) but i also started giving him a little bit of Rice cereal at night. Then since he slept longer, his daytime naps were shorter and fewer and he was sleeping through the night by 4 months.

But I know that I was lucky since my cousin's son is just now almost sleeping through the night and he turned one and the beginning of the month. Every baby is different. Good luck!

WOW...this sounds exactly like my life with my 3 1/2 month old!!! Exact same thing happened to him. He was a great sleeper, up until about 3 weeks ago, and now he's up every hour, hour and half like clockwork. I am anxious to read the responses you get for my own sanity.

One thing we tried last night, and it seemed to work, at least for a night, was we went back to swaddling my son. We used to swaddle him up until about the same time this all started, when we were trying to wean him off being bundled up like a burrito......when we swaddled him last night, he went to sleep at 7:15pm, up at 10:15 for a 15 minute drink of breastmilk, then fell back to sleep...then didn't get up until 4:45am!!!!!! I was in heaven. Not sure if it was the swaddling that did it, or not...but something for you to consider?

Hello L.,
I'm a first time mom with a 6 1/2 month old boy I am by no means an expert but I can tell you what I did. At 1 1/2 months I started sleep training- which was probably one of the best things I have done! Throughout the process I found that having a solid day routine/schedule really helped my son sleep at night. His feeding times and nap times are fairly consistent and I am able to monitor how much he is eating by having him on a schedule. (I want to make sure he is eating enough since I am breastfeeding) He now sleeps about 10-11 hours a night. Maybe you could try adding a feeding during the day and see if that helps with your daughters hunger at night? (maybe feed every 2 1/2 hours?) The book I read was calley "Babywise" by Gary Ezzo there is another book with a more gentle sleep training approach called "Good Night, Sleep Tight" by Kim West. Good Luck! I know you will figure out what works for your family =)

My son did the same thing up to 14 months. You will not go crazy. If I didn't nobody can. I kept him in the room although he ended up in my bed mostly because it was easier to breast feed. My girlfriend calls it lazy baby because the baby gets just enough milk to get rid of the hunger but not enough to last. Great theory but it seems that like myself you've tried that and it didn't work for you either. I think that my son used nursing to get him back to sleep. I don't think by 6 months that he was even hungry just used nursing to soothe. We usually had 3 wakes a night. So I stopped feeding him on the second wake and just rocked him to soothe. Slowly I managed to get down to just one around midnight and then one day he just slept! Good luck and know that there are many women out there who can relate to your stress level.

Hi L.,
My son was the same way. He slept through the night at the beginning because he had to take formula for a bit. Once he ws solely breastfed he began to wake up at night (about 3 months). He had his growing spurts (usually a week and half before his montly birthdate) and will wake up more often (between 1-3 hrs at night up to about 7 months). What we began to do, my husband will put him to bed. I would nurse him in our bed and after I dislatched him from me, we would let him sleep for a while and then my husband will take him to his crib. Once he woke up during the night I just let him co-sleep with us after that nursing station (I would fall asleep).
When my son reached 15 pounds he slept about six hours through the night. We had the same routine, he would go in his crib between 9 and 10pm and does not wake up until about 5-5:30am. I then nurse him and let him sleep in my bed until is time to go to work. He still has growing spurts and I believe he is teething so there are days that he goes back to waking up at 12 or 1. I nurse and let him co-sleep.
I know that you are scare he will never sleep on his crib, but my son does good. I do have to admit, I put a small plush toy for him to hug. He is used to falling asleep while petting his dog and nursing; so I don't know if the plush helps or not, but at least he has something to hug.
Be patient, good luck, and I'm glad ur breastfeeding!!!!!!!
ceci

Sorry you are sleep deprived, maybe you can pump and ask hubby for help. This is totally normal though, babies need to eat and grow at this age. It will get better, hang in there mom.

My only suggestion is patience : ) It will happen, but she is still really young to be sleeping through the night. Try to take naps if you can and maybe since your husband is working at home, he can help out while you nap if your kids are both awake. Also, if you are doing breast milk in a bottle at night sometimes, maybe he can feed your daughter while you sleep. My son is almost 15 months and I can't imagine how hard it would be to have a 3 1/2 month old right now. You are so brave! Good luck!

Except for the older baby, that sounds like my life exactly! My son is almost sixteen weeks old and slept for seven hours at night when he was only six weeks old. For the last two weeks, I've been dealing with waking up every two or three hours, and the tiredness is pretty much crushing my will to live!
Last night was the first night he was back up to seven hours, and I honestly don't think it had anything to do with anything I did. He just got through the stage where he needed to eat every 2-3 hours.
I'd say you have to wait it out... I've gotten pretty good at nursing him laying down/half-asleep. Hang in there. It WILL get better!

You might ask your Ped about starting solids...We saw similar behavior of falling asleep easily, but needing to eating every 2-3 hrs when our daughter was 3.5 months. At 3.75 months I was eating lunch with her in the bouncy on the table in front of me. She started mouthing (trying to make chewing motion) & actually reached out for the carrot stick I was eating! (She wasn't reaching for many toys at that point.) I called the Ped & told him the sleeping problems with this new behavior, he said she was probably hungry & the milk wasn't enough anymore. We started her on liquidy solids (on a spoon though) & it immediately solved the problem...Restful nights for parents & baby!

Babies at 3 1/2 months still need the nightime nourishment. Breastmilk is the absolute best for your baby, but it does process through quickly and that is why she needs to eat more often. I am surprised to hear she can go 3 hours between feedings during the day since it is usually only 2 hours between feedings for breastfed babies. The best way to feed is on-demand. She may be hungry at night since she is not eating as much during the day as she may need. Feed her when she wants during the day, and don't try to make her wait. She will sleep through the night when she is ready, and not before. As for your sleep, I hope you are able to take naps during the day, since that is about all you can do. I have been there. I am a mom of two, as well as a doula and childbirth educator.

Granted, my kids are 14 and 10 but when the oldest was newborn, my pediatrician told me to nurse my son every 2-3 hours during the day starting from the time I wanted him to wake up. This included waking him up from naps to nurse, if he was asleep. She said the two reasons babies wake up at nigh is because they're hungry or not tired and if you feed them every 2-3 hours, they'll a) get enough food during the day and b) never fall into a deep enough sleep during the day so they'll be full and tired by bedtime.

My mom and grandma thought I was insane to wake a sleeping child to nurse, but I was religious in following this. Both my sons were sleeping through the night at six weeks, to the day, and we've never had sleeping issues with either of them.

My boys were also mostly formula fed...the oldest because he loved the bottle at 3 months and that was it for breast-feeding, the youngest at 2 months because he was a horrible nurser and nursing became a huge, painful nightmare. Maybe you should consider giving her formula and see if that helps her sleep through the night better.

Good luck.

HI L., I am a sleep consultant and parenting coach. At your daughters age she should be able to make it through the night without nursing at all, or at the very least one time. I would suggest putting her to bed earlier, 9:00 is late, try betwwen 7 and 8, to make sure she is not over-tired which can cause frequent night wakings. Secondly, if she wakes up before midnight then feed her but after that you can go to her and reassure her, but not pick her up, and then let her fuss back to sleep. When she wakes up in the night, don't rush to her right away, give her time and the opportunity to try soothing her self to sleep. If you need more help visit my website at www.theindependentchild.com
K.

Definitely enlist your hubby's help during the night - have some pumped breastmilk available for him to give her.

Please please please do not resort to stuffing your baby full of rice cereal that she cannot digest just so she will sleep through the night. Babies cannot digest grains properly till they are 7 or 8 months old.

She is breastfed and that is totally normal for a breastfed baby. You are doing a great thing by breastfeeding her and I encourage you to keep on going - you will be tired but you can do it! Those sound like the same times my son woke up for a long time, until I night-weaned him after his 1st birthday. Your daughter is tiny & she needs to eat!

L.,

I completely understand your getting little sleep. I can completely empathize with you. I am the mother of 2 babies also, but, mine are a little closer than yours in age. I have a 6 month old and the other just turned 17 months. They are 10 days shy of being 11 months apart. All my girls have been formula fed due to prematurity and health issues, NICU for 2 of them for 2 weeks both.

All 3 of my girls slept through the night at an early age. (I have a 17 year old also.) The trick with the two youngest is that when the youngest first started to sleep through the night in our room, we moved her into her sister's room. At first when one moved the other would wake up. We have a monitor and could hear all that was going on. They both sleep anywhere from 11-13 hours a night now. We have fun listening to them "talk" to each other if they are having a hard time going to sleep. If one wakes up in the middle of the night and starts to fuss, the other will wake up and they console each other until they fall back to sleep. This makes it easier for us to get a little more sleep. We keep an eye on them during the night, if they are crying hysterically, then we know they need more than each other to assist in getting back to sleep. We no longer have to get up with each moan and groan, only when it is obvious there is a problem.

Best of luck. It will get easier. My 6 month old is already babbling and rolling and trying to crawl, because she sees her older sister doing it all. My 17 month old did not crawl until she was 14 months old, when she saw a cousin crawling. So, there are good things to having them close together also.

K. C.

It is possible! Don't lose hope. Both my kids were strictly breastfed and my first was sleeping thru the night at 6 weeks, and my second 3.5 weeks. I read (and followed) the book Baby Wise by Gary Esso and it worked wonders! Good luck!

My daughter was always a good sleeper at 3 1/2 months she was breastfed & sleeping through the night 10-12 hrs, so it is possible. I just think every baby is different and has different needs. She also may not be filling up on milk...??

I breastfed both my children, and my oldest started sleeping six hours a night at about three months, but my second did exactly what yours is doing -except it was every two hours he woke up. I ended up keeping the bassinet next to my side of the bed so I did not have to get up, and then I would nurse him in bed, taking a cat nap after he had started eating. Switch sides and nap again. (Not the best scenario - but that was the only energy I had). One more thing I suggest is to take a nap when the older one is asleep.
I don't know if you believe in prayer, but most days, praying was the only thing that kept me sane.

Great job breast feeding, her sleep issues don't have to do with that, keep it up. I breast fed my son and he was sleeping 10-12 hrs at night by 5 weeks, it's very possible and has nothing to do with formula. Do you ever let her cry? Sounds like she just likes the comfort of you getting up with her, bad pattern to start. Try not getting her and see what happens. Maybe she'll cry 8min, learn to self soothe and go back to sleep.

My daughter started doing the same thing around your baby's age. She was also being breast fed. I finally figured out that she was hungry and having a growing spirt. So, before I breast fed her at night, I started feeding her Gerber's rice cereal. This, in combination with the breast feeding, seemed to do the trick and she would sometimes sleep through the night. She is now 35 years old and doing just fine. LOL. Good luck with your beautiful baby.

Hopefully its a matter if calorie intake, but it may just be that your baby likes to feed often. I have a 3 year old and a 3 month old, both were/are breastfed; however while my 3 year old daughter was sleeping 8 hours by about 10 weeks, my 3 month old son can generally only go 6 hours at night, less if he is going through a growth spurt. Still, I appreciate 6 hours of sleep! Her are some tips for you-

Breastmilk contains fewer calories than formula, so a breastfed baby will usually need to feed more often to get the same intake. Also, breastmilk comes in stages- the first milk to come down is watery and thirst quenching, while the milk at the end of the feeding is thicker and contains the fat and calories the baby needs to feel full longer (it's called the 'hind' milk). The trick is to feed only on one side until the breast is completely depleted- the 'feed 10 minutes on each side' routine doesnt get to the hind milk and the baby is hungry more often. Just remember to feed on the other side the next time. This might help.

More tips- try cluster feeding. At night, increase your baby's feedings to every hour or so- load her up before you put her to bed, and then get her up right before you go to bed for a nightcap. Another thing you might try- give her a bottle of breast milk mixed with formula- mix the formula directly with the milk instead of water. This will give her more calories, too. And, in another month, you will be able to start her on rice cereal- mix a little rice cereal in with the milk at the last feeding. Once she is on solids she will sleep longer.

Good luck! One more tip- read The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg- it was a lifesaver for me, and helped me to get my daugther sleeping more than 45 minutes at a time!

sound pretty good to me. Breastmilk digest faster so they need to nurse more frequently, 90m digestion. My daughter did every 2 hours all night so you are doing well. Also in my experience once around 4m hit then they wake up more. They are more distracted during the day and make up for it at night.
If you nurse her more during the day she may last longer at night or since she has a really set schedule she may be set w that. Good luck, but it sounds totally normal to me