J.U. asks from Fremont, CA on January 08, 2008
Sleeping Through the Night - Fremont, CA
I have a four month old baby boy who has never been a good sleeper, but has recently gotten worse. He had increased his sleeping to four hours during the night, then waking every 2 hours afterwards. Now he wakes every hour and a half, with feedings every 2 hours. He only naps for 30 minutes, 4 times per day, so I am very sleep deprived. He is exclusively breast fed and frequently refuses the bottle. He only wants me during the night and screams when dad helps out during these times, so I am up throughout the night. Does anyone have any strategies for helping him sleep longer?
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So What Happened?™
Thank you everyone for your help. I started swaddling Will from the waist down insted of a full body swaddle so he could suck his thumb. I have created a very consistent bedtime routine that my husband and I follow. We moved him from our bed to his room and also started laying him down to sleep without bouncing him to sleep. I am now able to put him in his crib and let him fall asleep on his own most of the time. He has started sleeping 4-6 hour spans during the night and takes longer naps also. This is such an improvement from 90-minute naps during the night!
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B.H. answers from San Francisco on January 09, 2008
I am a huge fan of a book "On Becoming Babywise" by Gary Ezzo. I just bought another book by him On Becoming Preschool wise. I give the Babywise book to everyone I know who is having a baby. My first son slept through the night at 8 weeks old and my 2nd son at 12 wks. Basically you adhere to a routine: sleep time, eat, wake time. This is so they don't need food/bottle to fall asleep. And there's a night time component as well. I didn't follow everything because I can't let me kids cry it out for more than 9 minutes (I timed myself). So, take what works for you from it and will probably still work.
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I.C. answers from Salinas on January 10, 2008
My second son was a horrible sleeper who never slept longer than 4 hours until he was 13 months old. I was dead on my feet so I feel your pain.
He would wake multiple times per night and demand to nurse. During the day, he'd only sleep in my arms or upright on my shoulder. He didn't want his father, only me. He had horrible gas; you could drum on his belly it was so distended. Bicycling his legs, rubbing his gut, milicon drops, nothing worked. Tried putting him in the swing to sleep, the car seat, in the car, on the dryer, everything you can think of. Nothing worked but nursing (until my nipples cracked and bled) and me rocking.
Turns out he was lactose intolerant. The lactose molecule is one of those things that passes through breast milk. Most kids can handle it; some kids can't. Once I stopped eating and/or drinking any kind of dairy product, he started sleeping through the night. Literally 36 hours after my last glass (and his too) of milk, he slept 8 straight hours.
Babies can also be sensitive to wheat, corn, chocolate . . . even if they are just breastfeed. Dr Sears writes about this and most La Leche consultants can help you with this.
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G.D. answers from Modesto on January 10, 2008
J. since you are breast feeding then I suggest you eat lots of turkey specially for dinner, reason is that Turkey has lots of Glutamate and you body turns it in to GABA a relaxing neurotransmitter, that helps sleep though the night!!!(that is why you get sleepy after a thanksgiving dinner) And if you want you can supplement GABA take 250 mgs. around 7 pm your self and that will make your breast milk a supplement for your child to sleep better... also add to your diet fenugreek that makes milk abundant and with good quality!!! So that he in not hungry at night!!!
And avoid eating to much sugar in your diet specially afternoon...also you should buy co liver oil caps (but get the ones fron Carlson's because of mercury in fish, these are safe)I will bet you that he misght even sleep all night after that and so will you...Love, G.. :0)
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C.H. answers from Sacramento on January 10, 2008
J.,
I know my answer will not be popular with everyone here but using the tips of Baby Wise saved my sanity. Our son was over 8 mos old and still only sleeping 2-3 hours at a stretch. Baby Wise, and other methods similar to it, says that you need to let your baby learn it's first lesson in independance from you. Start off with letting him cry for just an extra minute than you normally would, add another minute, then another. See if you can put him back to bed awake after nursing. I use to change my son's diaper to "wake" him back up a bit before putting him back to bed then sooth him by rubbing his tummy or back and helping him to settle down that way. Before putting him down the first time of the evening I would start off with a warm bath for him followed by singing or talking to him in his bed...removing food from the equation by feeding him before the bathtime. This way he didn't associate food with sleep. Over the two weeks it took to get him to sleep thru the night, and you will, at this age, only get him to sleep 5-6 hours at a time in the night till he's older, our son learned to soothe himself back to sleep. Waiting the extra minute, two minutes, five minutes was difficult. No one likes to hear a baby cry, and it breaks your heart to hear your baby cry. But developing these patterns now will make your child a better rested child, develop good sleeping habits for when he's older so he's a more rested, clearer thinking child. A child who has good sleeping habits does better in school and in life. This is the perfect time to start teaching him how to wake up in the night and be able to go back to sleep on his own without any type of intervention.
Our son is six now but recently I coached a good friend who's 5 mos old wasn't sleeping thru the night as well as my neice who had a year old not sleeping more than 2 hours at a time. Both mothers were horribly sleep deprived and at wits end. Within 4 days the mother of the 5mos old was getting 4-5 hours of sleep at a stretch (the child is now 8 mos old and sleeping thru the night completely) and the year old was sleeping thru the night in 9 days. So it IS possible. It just isn't easy. If your husband and you can form a united front and help eachother thru the short term then you will be helping yourselves and your son in the long run.
As I said, there are plenty out there that will pooh pooh the "let them cry" thing but having seen the effects of friends kids who did not follow this program and how they react to life and to learning now that they are in school...I'm glad we decided to take the two weeks and do the program.
Lastly, we didn't follow the program to a T. We modified it a bit to work for us and it did. I, personally, do not agree with the programs that say to put your child down at night and under no circumstances should you go into them. A minute at a time was all I could do when our son was crying. I would go in, soothe without picking him up, and leave again...feeding only once during the night (remember he was 8 mos old, not 4 mos old) and then weening that off during the two weeks. So let the program work for you at your own pace.
Good luck!
C.
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J.B. answers from San Francisco on January 10, 2008
Our son did the same thing at 4 months - he was exclusively breast fed also. My sister in law suggested this and it worked.
Be sure to put him in bed full, clean and awake (just after last feed. For us that was 10, or 11pm). You will see the signs of sleepiness, and that is the time to put him down in his own space. Tell him you love him, and offer a soothing pat on the bottom (or a gently back rub - a gesture that will be repeated). When he wakes up, offer a bottle of water (Liam hated bottles and therefore realized quickly it was no fun to wake up), or a security item (Liam had a blanket). Tuck him back in and repeat the loving words along with the gentle gesture (but do not pick him up again). This should only be repeated if he wakes up again. If he is crying and refusing sleep, wait 10 minutes, go back in and only pat and soothe with your voice. If he does it again, wait 20 minutes only pat (no talking). You should wait 30 minutes the next time. He will get the picture that the patting means goodnight. Oh - and NEVER turn on the light. Tell him that dark time is sleep time. It is never too early to explain what is going on.
The only liquid offered 11-5 should be water. Our son lost interest in waking after 3 nights. They were hard long nights, but it worked.
I also agree with the other mom that suggests you let your husband take a shift or two through the night. Your boy will appreciate it later, as they will be closer emotionally. And he will benefit from your getting more sleep!
The other advice she gave was to keep him in his room (sit on the floor or rocker). Taking him out of the smells and comfort of his room wakes him even more.
Just a tid-bit more...Liam wound up being a sleep-walker as a toddler. So it turned out that all that "waking" as an infant wasn't "waking" at all, just expressions during sleep. It is your job to teach him to go back to sleep. It is for his (and your) own good. Sleep=Sanity both in adults and babies.
GOOD LUCK
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M.L. answers from San Francisco on January 10, 2008
I feel your pain, but mine is getting better. My 7 month old had a terrible spell around 4 months. From the first day home from the hospital she woke at 1.30am, 4.30, and 6am. Eventually, she started to drop the 1.30am wake up and I stopped waking her to feed her when I went to bed and she could sleep 7pm-1.30am without a feeding. At around 4 months it came back along with an 11pm wake up. I read the "Healthy Habits" book and it suggested feeding at the 11pm, and ignoring the 1.30am one. I think that worked for us. I didn't "ignore" her, but I fed her at 11pm and then would soothe her to sleep at 1.30am with a pacifier and rocking. It was tough for the first few nights (she kept waking every 10 minutes), but then she soon didn't need to eat at that time. Then she dropped the 11pm wake up and the 1.30am came back and I would feed her then. After another month, I stopped feeding at the 1.30am and that eventually went away.... as of a week ago! Hopefully, we are now down to one waking (I hope I'm not jinxing it!!). Last night she went from 6.45pm-5.45am without a waking. I fed her at 5.45am and then she slept until 7.30am! Hope that helps.
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B.H. answers from San Francisco on January 09, 2008
I am a huge fan of a book "On Becoming Babywise" by Gary Ezzo. I just bought another book by him On Becoming Preschool wise. I give the Babywise book to everyone I know who is having a baby. My first son slept through the night at 8 weeks old and my 2nd son at 12 wks. Basically you adhere to a routine: sleep time, eat, wake time. This is so they don't need food/bottle to fall asleep. And there's a night time component as well. I didn't follow everything because I can't let me kids cry it out for more than 9 minutes (I timed myself). So, take what works for you from it and will probably still work.
1 mom found this helpful
J.N. answers from San Francisco on January 11, 2008
I feel for you and understand, as I went through a very similar situation. In the first 6 months babies grow really fast, and changes in their sleeping and eating patterns might mean that they're going through a growing spurt. Some babies are also very attached to their mothers and need them more and longer than other babies. Your son is still very little and still needs to eat at night. I'm sure you don't want to hear this, but try to hold for another month or two and things will probably get better.
During that period, I co-slept with my daughter, and at around 6 months we started letting her sleep in her crib. When she woke up at night, my husband would go reassure her. It was very hard at first, since she cried a lot. But I felt better knowing that my husband was with her. It took about 2 weeks for her to progressively sleep through the night. We had occasional relapses (teething, illnesses, traveling), but all in all she sleeps in her crib through the night. She's now 14 months old.
Good luck and congrats on your first born!
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V.P. answers from San Francisco on January 09, 2008
Hello have you tryed keeping him up awake during the day?
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