Sleeping Through the Night - Arnold, MO

You know - my son was 10 months old and was still waking up through the night and at the time it was simply to be held and put back to sleep. By that time there wasn't a bottle involved - but he would cry and I would go on in to help. I finally took someone's advice and simply didn't go in one night (Friday is best because you don't have to work on Sat) and waited to see if he could just go back to sleep. He cried for 30 minutes, however, the next night it was 20, then 10, and then maybe 30 seconds - to finally making it through the night. Everyone told me that if they know you will come in to get them, then they will continue doing their waking up routine. I felt like the worst mother alive letting him cry, but it's not like he's hurting himself crying and now I finally can sleep.

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I personally woke up through the night for two years.....but I've heard/read if you only give water in the middle-of-the-night-bottle, they will begin to lose interest. Plus it's better for their teeth. Good luck!

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Hi T.,
I understand your desperation for sleep. I feel it's one of the hardest parts about motherhood. It sounds like your daughter is exhibiting completely normal one year old sleep patterns. You may want to check out a book called "THE NO-CRY SLEEP SOLUTION" by Elizabeth Plantley. It helped me through a lot of my sons sleep issues in a gentle manner and it helped me understand the reasons that children wake up at night (it usually has to do with where they are developmentally). I know it's hard and soooooooo very tiring to get through this stage, but it will pass. You just have to find a way to navigate through it and get some sleep!!! Good Luck,
K.

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Hi T.! I completely understand what you are going through! My older daughter, who's now 10, didn't sleep through the night until 22 months, and my younger daughter is now 2 1/2 and still doesn't! I have now gone 2 1/2 years without a good night sleep! I worked full time with my older one, am at home with the younger one, that hasn't made a difference. We tried everything with the older one - Ferber, etc. I believe it's just genetic makeup and they will do it on their own terms. The only thing I can tell you is not to let others make you feel that this is your fault - parents of good sleepers just don't get it!!! If you find something that works, more power to you (and please let me know what it is!)! If you want to talk more, please contact me. I'm sorry I'm not offering much advice, but I do understand! TRULY!

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I can relate. My 14 month will not sleep through the night either. We also have a 2 1/2 year old and she didn't sleep through the night until she was 15 or 16 months old. I just think that with my girls it was teething or constant ear infections. I know that it is hard but it will pass and she will sleep through the night eventually. At least we hope (lol).

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Try not to put her to bed too early. That might help her sleep later into the night. Before bed, give her one bottle or sippy cup of milk and then that's it until morning. Then when she does wake up in the middle of the night, let her cry for 10-15 minutes to see if she goes back to sleep. My pediatrician said after they are 6 months old, they shouldn't need to eat at night and they can cry it out. I'd say the first night you try, she might cry 30 minutes or more, but I promise from experience with my older son, it will get shorter each night, and eventually she'll stop crying altogether and go back to sleep. We had to let our son cry it out at 10 months old because he wouldn't go to sleep if the first place without being rocked or nursed to sleep. It was tough but definitely worth it. On his own initiative, my 3 month old is sleeping 10-11 hours straight at night without eating, so I know it can be done by an older baby. My 2 year old slept through the night starting at the same age. Good luck!

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I'm having the same issue with my 9-month old. After reading several responses on this web site to a similar situation, I moved a fan into her room 2 nights ago. I turn it up on high when I put her down and amazingly, it's worked so far! Maybe it will work for you, too. Good luck! (Before the fan, I tried letting her cry it out. It was terrible and I don't recommend it. No one, not even the cat, got any sleep.)

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I know how you feel. My little guy is 20 months old and wakes up at least 3 times....if he doesn't get that juice bottle all hell breaks loose. I get up to go to work at 5:00a.m., my husband is a police officer and gets off at 4:00a.m. - But he comes in and out a lot throught the night. I get woke up all of the time. He helps me with our son if he is home, but living in a small house that is not sound proof I can hear everything going on...this includes the 3 big dogs we have wanting in and out at least 2 times throught the night. BUT, sometimes when I do get off work I will have an opportunity (sometimes) to take a nap before I go get him from daycare. I try to get the house picked up before I go get him, but soemtimes I HAVE to sit down and take a power nap. Do you have the chance to take a power nap when you get off work? If you do, try it...even 1/2 hour really helps me. It's hard I know. I am 37, 1st time Mom...I have never worked so hard in my life which is why my 45 year old husband and I decided that ONE child is enough. Good Luck.

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It's totally normal. I don't say that as in don't change anything, I just want you to know that your daughter is totally normal! Can you bulk up on food durring the day? Are you sure it's food she wakes up for? Sometimes kids wake up for different reasons and will go back to sleep with the breast or a bottle because that's easiest. Could she be too cold or hot? Also, talk to your husband! He shouldn't be waking you up AND not helping with night time duties. He should be easier to change than a 1 year old.

K.

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T.,

Unfortunately there is no quick and easy solution. I had that same problem with my son. I was getting no sleep, he was waking up at 3 and WIDE awake ready to play. Of course he was 2 1/2. I went to the doctor and he told me that he was in some kind of restless phase. (This was going on for months) He was in a toddler bed to top it off also. He told me to remove any and all things that could harm him in anyway and then ...believe it or not lock him in his room so he couldnt come out, if he wakes up let him play, just dont go in he will exaust himself, and eventually go back to sleep. He did, I would go in the morning and find him asleep on the floor!
After a week of this, he stopped. I say all this to say it is a stage , separation anxiety more likely, (because of the age).
I personally would try eliminating any later naps she usually has. Not permanately, just for awhile. When she wakes up, easy to say-harder to do, but DON"T GO IN!! Buy a Fan that creates noise in YOUR room. Even at one year old she knows that when she cries long enough you will come. She has you trained. You are not a bad mom if you let her cry. Crying will only exhaust her more. Can she get out of her crib? Place a harmless soft toy in her bed that she can play with till she falls back asleep. Hope this helps. Remember, your will HAS to be Stronger than hers!!! Your her mommy and you love her enough to do what is best for her and you!!!

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My daughter is now 17 so this brought back memories. She didn't sleep all night until she was 16 months old. I thought I would die from sleep depravation so I know what you are going through. She woke up every 2-3 hours every night. I wasn't in a big hurry to wean her from her bottle so didn't do it until she was 16 months old. As soon as she was weaned from the bottle she started sleeping all night. If I had known she would have lost it much sooner!! I started by watering it down at night until eventually all I was giving was water and then she didn't want it. I had to stay firm and we had a rough few night but it eventually worked!! Good luck and just remember this stage won't last long and then you'll forget it was even a problem. I'm having sleepless nights again - waiting for teenagers to get home!! I preferred being kept awake by a baby - at least I knew she was O.K.

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hello,

This is hard to do, but I had to do it, and you already know what the answer is. She needs to cry and learn to soothe herself. She is relying on bottles to soothe and go back to sleep. I have first hand experience. I have a special needs son and when our daughter came, I knew I had to create a good sleeping pattern. (Because I was bad about laying down to get my son to sleep) Anyway, I had to tolerate for about a week some crying. As far as the bottle, Maybe slowly start with a VERY LITTLE DRINK IN BOTTLE,(as a weaning only, if you can't do cold turkey torture, her first waking), and then for second, try and let her cry. DO NOT GIVE IN!! My daughter cried as long as 20-30 minutes 1 or 2 nites. It got better, thank goodness because it is so HARD. Be consistant with routine, that is so important. My daughter is 5 now, and she tells me at night, normally close to bedtime, good nite mom I am going to play for awhile and so she does, and turns the light out when she is tired. I honetly refused to lay down with her, I would tuck her in when she would get up at night for any reason. Just kept assuring her, and kept her room her place she needed to be. It was not a week resolution, but it has paid off. Even now, sometimes if she wakes scared she gets me and says she is scared, will you lay down with me. I again say no, reassure her, and she asks for door open at that point. She also shuts her door at night, because that is what I use to do, or at least crack is slightly. Also put a larger that a average night light in her room. good luck Don't feel bad, my son is 11 and I still have to lay down with him, but I trained one well. Good luck. 41 year old mom of 11 and 5 year old.

I had a similar situation and what we did was get a book offline that cost me $50. I was so tired like you so I was willing to do anything. At that time there was no book from Nanny 911 or show. What the book taught us was to take the bottle away and not give it to my daughter anymore. I was so nervous. After 5 exhausting nights it worked. She would wake up every now and then but finally she slept throught the night. It is more a committment on the parents than the child! Good luck!

My son is now 20 months old and we did not have a full nights sleep until the 18 month mark. I also have a 2 week old and we tried everything to get the older on to sleep through the night once the baby got here. He too sleeps with a sippy cup and when he woke up at night the three different times he got a sippy cup refill and a diaper change. Everything changed when we started using Huggies overnite diapers and cutting the amount of liquid in the sippy cup. He slowly went from 3 awakenings to one to none. It was a long 18 months.

I was not a good sleeper when I was little and neither were my boys. I went for 4 years of 4 hours being a VERY good nights sleep and that was a boken up 4 hours. When my oldest turned 2, he started sleeping all night and then my youngest is about to turn 2 and he sleeping all night most of the time. Something about turning 2 helped my kids alot!

One thing to think about is she may be uncomfortable. Maybe a new mattress or she may need to see a chiropractor. Our chiropractor has done wonders for our family. For example... My son has had at least one nose bleed everyday since he was a baby. Since going to our chiropractor regularly, he has had one in 2 months.

Hope this helps and/or gives you hope!

S.

My daughter had quite a bit of trouble as well. We used the Ferber Method, the one that is jokingly referred to in the movie Meet the Fockers. It worked though. Its basically a tough love system which weens them away from mom or dad and teaches them to self sooth. You put them down, say "I love you but its time to sleep" and leave. When they start crying you wait 5 minutes go in but don't touch them and just repeat "I love you but its time to sleep" and then leave. Then go in after 10 minutes and do the same. If it continues you go in after 20 minutes and keep repeating. My pediatrician recommended not staying away more than 20 minutes and said he did the same for both of his children. Its so hard and it breaks your heart but it teaches them independence. I don't want to try to recap all the parts to it and be off here and there on the actual techniques so you should look it up or talk to your child's doctor. It was hard for the first 2 or 3 nights and the crying went on for a while but by the 4th night it was starting to work. By the end of the week she was only crying for just a few minutes and was then sound asleep through the night. I would start during the weekend so by Tuesday or Wednesday you can start getting some more sleep. She is now 2 and in a toddler bed and bedtimes are a breeze. Its just another thing she knows she has to do and doesn't fight it. Hope this helps and good luck.

I have just been reading some material on sleep training. I have 3 children and made MANY mistakes as far as sleep training goes. I am trying a few different things with my 5 month old daughter and it seems to be working.
"The Baby - Whisperer Solves all your problems by Tracy Hogg & Melinda Blau" is excellent, if you don't want to do the crying it out method. She uses a technique called Pick-up/Put-down, Wake to sleep and chapter seven is particularly helpful for older children.
And remember "this too will pass"! Good luck

Hi T.,
You might try giving her a bit of baby cereal just before you lay her down. It sure helped my little ones to sleep through the night.
Good luck, T.!!
D.

My daughter is 5 and still get's up about once a night....

one thing you might try is moving her bedtime a little earlier and letting her cry herself to sleep. I know most first time moms don't like to hear that, but I have three teenagers and when they were small like that, I had to get used to letting them cry themselves to sleep. She will eventually go to sleep with or without the bottle. Also, when she wakes in the night, if you leave her alone, she might just go back to sleep on her own. That will not happen if you are fussing over her as soon as you hear her move, though.

You just have to let her cry. As hard as it can be, it will teach her to soothe herself to sleep. Each night will get better and better. Good Luck!

Hey.. I'm 26 (almost 27) and I have two little boys.. I hated hated hated doing this, but after I finally gave in to my husband, I am so greatful that I did. It was so simple and all the older people I know told me to do it over and over and I just wouldn't cause it was so mean. Let her cry! Within 1-2 weeks, my older son was sleeping through the night because by me letting him cry it out, he was able to start to learn how to comfort himself and then I heard him still wake up, but he wouldn't actually cry. Eventually he stopped waking up all together.. (this was all within 2-3 weeks I swear!) Colton, my youngest just now turned one, and we are getting ready to do it, but he doesn't wake up very often so we haven't really talked much about it. I know it's hard- I literally cried the first couple of nights) but as long as they aren't in any pain or danger it is completely fine to let them cry it out. (in my opinion.. :) Good luck.. hope sleepfull nights are on their way for you!

My son is 19 months old and has only started sleeping through the night in the last 2 or 3 weeks, so I know how you feel! He would wake up once at night and I would always have to nurse him to get him back to sleep. We didn't do anything special with him, he just seemed to grow out of it. I just felt that he would eventually grow out of it and he did.

Could your husband the night owl possibly get up with her one of the times? The only other suggestion I have is to let her cry it out, which worked for my daughter when she was a baby. It is very hard to do, but does seem to work. There are many methods out there to get babies to sleep through the night, so don't give up. Just be sure to give the method you try a good week or so before you give up and think it's not working.

My oldest daughter did this when she was a toddler (she's 16 now) and my husband's philosophy was to love her and pick her up. My philosophy was to leave her alone and ignore it for two or so days and she'd get over it. Since we (the parents) didn't have the same ideas it was hard to imprint sleep time for the child. You need to sit down with your husband and decide now what you will do and stick to your guns. If you are of the mind that leaving her alone to cry for the night and go to sleep then that's what you have to do. If you believe this is cruel or punishing then you have to figure something different. Either way, you need to make ground rules that you and spouse will follow NO MATTER WHAT. They do eventually get their sleep through the night and so will you - once you come to a conclusion/agreement/path.

Our pediatrician helped us with this one, except with a pacifier instead of a bottle. It will take up to 3 nights and then be resolved. Not sure about the feeding right before bed. When she wakes up during the night, do not give her what she wants. May check on her to see if she is ok and safe, lay her back down if she is standing in crib and walk out. Don't even talk with her. She needs to cry it out. (Maybe an hour) but she is not hurt. You can then peek in on her if she doesn't hear or see you. Believe me that first night of crying is the worst. she will fall back asleep. Second night usually shorter of crying. try not to go in there. Third night may be short or not at all. (Our daughter had to be broke of sleeping with pacifier because she would wake and cry when dropped out of her mouth and as soon as put back in would go to sleep. So we had to stop it cold turkey at 6 months) Stuff like this is also on Supernanny shows on TV but our pediatrician helped at that time. Good luck. Stay strong and you can do it.

Initially, I say I feel for you. Both of my boys didn't sleep through the night until they were 2. So I hope that isn't the case for you.

One thing I tried was giving the child water in the night, instead of milk. This is only if you really feel the child isn't hungry. Once they weren't really hungry, then they didn't want the water, so it wasn't worth getting up for. Do this on the weekend though, they can get testy a few nights.
Good luck

our youngest is almost 3 and still does not sleep all the way through the night every night. We are expecting our 5th child soon though. Here are some things that helped us.

1- We put them in a twin size bed where I could lay with them to help them go back to sleep. Then if I fell asleep with the little one, at least I wasn't freezing, cramped on the floor, or in a rocking chair.
2- during the night I transitioned them to sippy cups of water. They could drink all night long, but I did not have to worry about the teeth issues that the ped warns about.
3- sometimes I will wait and listen to the cry. Just because a child cries in the middle of the night doesn't always mean I need to respond. If it is a night terror, or a cry I recognize as not dire, I will wait it out a bit and see if she needs me or not. Our current youngest is a firey little girl with a strong personality, and frankly when she wakes up sometimes, neither husband nor I get any sleep until she calms down.

Whatever advice you get, make sure that you think about what you feel is best for you and your family. Lots of luck.

I really like the suggestions in the No-Cry Sleep Solution by Eliziabeth Pantley. It has a great, gentle approach to creating routines and teaching your child when and where to sleep.

I had a similar problem with my son. There is a woman named K. West AKA The Sleep Lady who has a 7 night program to get your child to sleep through the night. I used it and it worked. Her website is sleeplady.com. In a nutshell, the first three nights of the program you go into your child's room without a bottle and just verbally reasure her, don't pick her up. Nights 4-6 you put a chair halfway between the crib and door and sit there and give verbal comfort. On the seventh night you have the chair by the door and quickly reassure her. My son cried the first night for a couple of hours. The second night about 45 minutes, and the third about 30 minutes. By the 5th night he was sleeping through. After that if he woke up, all I had to do was step in the room and tell him everything was fine. He is an awesome sleeper now.

Mine just turned one as well, and just started sleeping thru the night 2 nights ago. I did the water thing! Except I just replaced warm formula with warm water and he drank it but his body stopped craviing those night calories. It was my ped's idea (wish I had thougth of it myself). And after about 2 weeks it worked. I also stopped going in at every wake-up and let him work it out. He has two cries, the I need you cry and the I'm not comfy (or I can't find my binky - oh there it is - by the way I put 3 in his crib in case on get's thrown out). The second I ignore the first I go see. He has finally learned, thougth I was going to loose my mind if he didn't :). Good luck!

Oh, you might also try white noise, like an air filter, for some reason that helped my oldest.

My youngest son was like this. Only he woke up once every night till he was one. He always wanted a bottle. A couple of times towards the end i finally just let him cry a little on his own in his crib. It eventually worked and he got himself back to sleep. My other two kids had no problems 1st slept through the night at 6 weeks and my daughter, who is now 4 months, slept through the night at 8 weeks. Good luck and know you aren't the only one that went through this.

The book, "Helthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" by Mark Weisbluth has been a very helpful tool for me. He discusses ways to prevent and solve sleep problems. Some of his methods may seem hard to swallow for some, but they work. I have reccommended this book to many moms that have found it to be helpful.

Ask your husband to help!

Until you figure out a way to get her to sleep through the night, take turns with your husband. When my children were young they never slept through the night. I too worked outside the home and would have been dead to the world if not for my husband. I assigned him three of the seven nights of the week which meant I slept through the night and he got up to care for the children on "his" nights. Believe me I slept like a baby knowing it was his turn. No need to feel guilty...she's his kid too!

Absolutely stop the bottle through the night. It is so hard, and it will probably only take a few nights, believe it or not, but it is only by habit. She is not hungry, or thirsty. It is strictly habit and knows you will feed her. to keep your sanity you must break it. It will be so difficult and you and your husband will probably argue through it, and want to crack, but don't cave it truly is all you need to do.

These are just words spoken out of love for a mother needing her sleep.

From,

Mother of 5. I'm 42.

have you tried adding baby cereal to her bottle? that seemed to help my babies sleep longer. It fills up their belly and they usually sleep better when that is full.

Honestly, it sounds like your daughter is waking up hungry.
What does she eat for dinner? How long before bedtime? She might need a healthy snack about 30 minutes before bedtime. Something filling. Or....she might be waking with nightmares and the bottle comforts her. What is in the nighttime bottle? Water is ok. Other things will stay on the teeth/gums. Honestly, you have to decide or figure out if it is night time scared/comfort or hunger.
Barb

Hi T.,

Well I have a few thoughts....
1) she is probably at this point only waking for the bottle of milk in the middle of the night at this point. So to stop this I would start watering down the bottles in the middle of the night. Yes you will still have to get up in the middle of the night to give it to her but it is better than doing the "cry it out" method which is so not enjoyable for anyone, and if there is a way to do it with out all the tears I would go for it. So lets say she gets a full bottle (meaning 8 ounces) I would start by adding 6 ounces of milk and 2 ounces of water, each night add less milk and more water, she will find this less apealing over time.
2) I see that you say you have her on a good bedtime routine but I would also chech that during the day she is getting enough to eat and drink and give her a snack before bed and before her evening bottle.

For her age she doesn't need the bottles in the middle of the night. It has more become a habit then anything. And it is to her as long as she wakes up and you bring her bottle she will keep doing it.

When she wakes up give her a bottle of water instead of milk. That is what I did for my kids and after about a week they weren't interested in waking up for water anymore and slept through the night after that.
If she is eating well during the day then she really doesn't need those extra meals at night.
Hope that helps.

Do not give into a bottle throught he night. when she wakes just soothe her back very quietly and dont like talk to her just shhhhhhhhhh and pat and she will fall back asleep. a drink from a sippy cup before bed and that is it. she will become adjusted in a few noghts and then all will calm down.

This is such a hard topic! My pediatrician told me that at 6 mos I should just let my son cry it out! I personally felt that I could not do that. He would scream it out. For over an hour. I know that they say that it'll be ok, but I just couldn't. I can't imagine being so vulnerable and alone a point of our existence at that is to establish self confidence and trust in the world. All I kept telling myself is IT CAN'T LAST FOREVER! My bf would get him a bottle in the middle of the night and bring him to our bed. This past week my bf went out of town. I tried again to let him cry it out. He cried a wimpy cry for about 20 minutes for 2 nights. The 3rd night he slept through the night and has since. All I can say is keep trying. He will eventually sleep all night. Maybe try water bottles so that it's not as desirable. Good luck.

I have a 2 year old son that never had this problem but have a very close friend who went through the same thing that you are going through right now. The way she broke her son of waking up in the middle of the night was to not give him milk when he wakes up. Your daughter wakes up because she knows you will give it to her. Once she figures out that no matter how much she fusses for it she's not getting it, she will stop waking up for it. Also my friend got the advice to give her son water when he woke up in the middle of the night. That way he gets something to drink but it's not what he wanted so he would stop waking up for water int he middle of the night since he knew that was what she was going to give him and not milk. This is worth a try anyway. I'm sure you're at your wits end and willing to try anything at this point. Good luck!

I know exactly what you are going through. My daughter is almost 7 months and wakes up anywhere from 1 to 4 times a night. My husband is deployed and I'm in the military so my sleep is very precious. My neighbors daughter was sleeping through the night at 4 months and suggested that I stop giving her the milk in the middle of the night and let her cry it out. So far it has helped extremely. I had to do the same thing with putting her to bed. She wouldn't sleep unless I rocked her to sleep or nursed her to sleep. I finally started laying her in bed when I knew she was tired (naps too!) and now she goes to sleep on her own. So I know that they can sleep through the night they just need a little push in the right direction.

My daughter did the same until about 2 1/2 years. Giving her a bottle seems like a good idea but it can turn on you. We were giving our daugher up to 6 a night. We were more like cocktail waitresses. Someone suggested that I bring her to the sleep center at St. Lukes for a visit with Nancy Birkmeier (mispelled). It was the best $40 co-pay EVER. She met with my husband and myself for 2 hours. Looked over a 2 week log of her sleep habits & patterns, and then "prescribed" a method or system to nip it in the bud. It took 3 nights, that's it. Now she sleeps through the night AND knows that she can only have water in the bedroom. Now, about 4 months later, we are weaning her from the one bottle of water as well. Don't wait to make an appointment, I wish I would have made mine a year and a half earlier!

You need to buy the book called Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Richard Ferber. It was a book that absolutely saved my life, my husband's and daughter's. She's 12 now! The book describes sleep rhythms for humans at different ages. It helps you to teach your child how to self-soothe, so that you are not the one she depends upon to get to sleep. The "Ferber" method has been criticized by some, but if you actually get the book, and read it, you will find that it makes total sense and it is the best gift you can give to your child. I think every first-time parent should get this book.

is your daughter eating any solid food?and you can give her cerial in her bottle's if she like's it it will keep her full longer.