Sleeping Problems with 3 Year Old - Downers Grove,IL

We went through this with 2nd child as soon as he was out of the crib at 14mos. We had to put him in his room and hold the door shut. He would cry and fall asleep behind the door - then he slept all night. Sorry - he didn't want to sleep with us - can't help there.

M.

I feel your pain! I also have a 3 year old who started having these problems shortly before my almost 2 month old was born. The difference is we have never let him sleep in our bed, but our solution might work for you if you're willing to keep him in his room. We put one of those child-proof doorknob covers over the inside knob in his room, so when we close the door he can not get out. (We also still use a monitor in his room to make me feel better about this!) I was prepared to have his room torn apart after the first time we used it, but he surprised me by just crying for about 2 minutes and then laying down and going to sleep. The second night he cried for 30 seconds. For the next couple of weeks we were able to open the door after he had fallen asleep. That lasted until he woke up one night and saw his door was open. Then he was coming in by us in the middle of the night again and we would trek into his room to lay down by him again. So we started keeping the door closed all night again. If he has to go potty, we open the door, let him use the bathroom, then back to bed he goes with the door closed. I understand that he's probably doing this because he's getting our undivided attention...even if it's zombie-like attention. So we do our best to give him one-on-one time with each of us each day, as well. As with so much in parenthood, it's a phase. It sucks while you're going through it, but it will end! You just do what you have to do to get through it. If you decide to try this, just mentally prepare yourself for the worst - screaming for an hour, throwing toys, banging on the door. Hopefully you'll get lucky like I did, but if not at least you can better deal with it. (By the way, if he tears his room apart, make sure to have HIM clean it all up the following morning. It will get him to think twice about making a mess like that again.) Good luck!

As a sidenote - we used a gate for a long time with him and that worked great...until he figured out how to climb over it (and it was one of those gates that has NO foothold!). That's when we went this route. So if you haven't tried a gate in his doorway, try that first!

I have a 4 year old who wakes up every night. Between the baby and him, I wasn't getting any sleep. I finally put a sleeping bag down on the floor next to our bed and told him that if he did not wake me up he could sleep on the floor in our room. He starts out the night in his own bed no problem. It has worked. He comes in our room in the middle of the night and just crawls into the sleeping bag without waking me up. I figure that eventually he will think it is uncomfortable and stay in his own room. Now if I could just get the baby to sleep through the night!

Good luck!

I know this may seem cruel to some mothers, but I think all of us at one time or another find that our sweet big boy/girl attempts to land in bed with us again.....My advice. Stick to your guns. Explain at night before you put him/her in bed that they may not come in if they wake. Explain that you need your sleep and they need to learn to put themselves back to bed. Explain that everyone wakes up at night sometimes, and it's important for them to learn to put themselves back to sleep in their own bed. When they wake, you can go in once and say, you need to go back to sleep now. I am not coming back in there, good-night. That should do it after a couple of night wakings. Good luck...ignoring the screams and cries is difficult at first but I always give a huge hug and lots of kissses in the morning and sing silly songs about how they slept ALL night in their big/boy/girl bed. Good luck. m

my 3 year old daughter has been pretty good with sleeping. However, at first we put one of those things on the inside door handle so that she couldnt get out but we could get in. She didnt like that at first and would throw fits, but eventually she realized mom wasnt giving in and we could take that off. Its the same thing for when my kids go to the sitters, she feeds them snacks and things whenever they get upset and are hungry. Because of this when they come home they expect me to feed them constantly when they just ate!

My daughter was going to bed with a cup each night and of course soaked in the morning. We got her in undies now so we had to break that habit of comfort for her. It was real hard at first because she'd continue to cry but we eventually got her to at least want something else "her blanket" as her comfort when she went to bed.

Is he going to bed with a drink? Does he have a tv or anything like that in his room? Does he sleep in a bed or crib?

I wish you the best, its not easy!!!

you can't allow him to sleep in your bed. My son started sleeping in our room when he turned 3. Then my husband said enough. So, I ended up sleeping with my son for the next year (i personally didn't have a problem with him in OUR bed). So, now another year has passed and I have finally broken my son out of needing me to sleep with him in his bed. But, before we got to this point, I would fall asleep with him and then if I woke up in the middle of the night, I would move into our bed. For the most part that would work, but then my son would wake up every night and feel around to see if I were still in bed, if i was, he'd fall right back asleep, if I was gone, he'd come into our bed.

So, I now have a treasure chest full of toys and if he sleeps in his own room all night, he gets to pick one toy out of the chest. That has worked wonders.

I have the same problem with my almost 4 yo. He was sleeping on our floor for a while but now insists on getting in our bed. Its a battle that we've lost for the past 2 weeks. I dont know what brought it on. Ive tried all the methods mentioned and he's still fighting us. And i cant let him scream all night because my 18 month old is in the bedroom next to his. So i have to keep him quiet. It is a hige battle for the past 2 weeks. He was fine for a long time in his own room all night. Not sure what happened but good luck. I dont know how or why this happens but it really sucks. I could ring his neck at bedtime. Its ridiculous. I hope he outgrows it soon!!!!

Have you tried making up a sleeping area in your room with either a sleeping bag and pillow or a small cot? He needs your presence for a reason and isn't doing this to be difficult or manipulative. His need is very real, as real as your need for sleep.
Another suggestion is he might not be getting enough calcium in his diet to help him sleep through the night. A good cal/mag supplement for children will help not only with relaxing and sleeping, but growing pains if those are waking up. If he's toilet trained or ready to be, his body could be waking him to use the bathroom, or he's thirsty. He could also be having nightmares, which would go back to needing the comfort of you to make him feel secure.
Don't worry about March; 3 yr olds are developing and changing at a fast pace. He will be different then and this problem should be over long before then.

I am concerned that he snores so loudly. I would have him checked by an ENT for enlarged tonsils. He could be waking up because his tonsils are enlarged.

Take care
J.

first, I wouldn't make him do anything in the middle of the night since you are both hardly awake and more emotional. Would you want to be locked in your room in the dark?

Developmentally, his imagination is really coming alive and that may be why he's waking and needing you. Monsters might be coming after him or something.

Would letting him fall asleep in your bed, then moving him be OK? If he slept on your floor would his snoring keep you up?

He is getting to the age where you can talk to him about stuff so I would talk about how to fall asleep, what to do if he wakes up in the night.

Don't stress about the baby coming in March, your son will be almost 6 months older. As you know, kids change a lot in a short amount of time.

fortunately, you may be able to nap during the day. though maybe not since your son is 3.

My son is 3 and waking up in the middle of the night EVERY NIGHT too. I started watching Supernanny a while back and watched how she did the sleeping thing. For most parents, she recommends that when your son comes into your room the first time, you take him by the hand back into his room and say something like "it is time for bed now sweetheart" very nicely and put him in bed and stay in the room with him until he falls asleep BUT you don't talk or even acknowledge him when he gets upset about constantly being put back in his bed (if he tries to get out of bed after you lie him down, you simply put him back in - after the first time you do this without talking or anything to him). If he wakes up again and comes into your room, you don't say a word just take his hand (or pick him up if he gets really upset) and place him back into bed. I had a friend who tried this and it has seemed to work so far - now her son doesn't bother getting up at night because he knows she will put him back into bed and will not say a word or engage him in discussion about it.
That said...my son wakes up and just calls for me - doesn't get out of bed but gets more and more upset if I don't go in there - if I let it go he is in hysterics and nobody gets any sleep. If I go in, put the cover back over him, and tell him it is time to sleep and he turns over and goes back to bed so I am only up for a minute or two. It seemed so harmless at first, but now he does that 2-3 times a night and the interrupted sleep is taking its toll...I can't get him to sleep through the night, but he doesn't come into my room and he doesn't get upset when I tell him to go back to sleep. I have no idea what to do about this so maybe my advice is useless lol
Best of luck!!!! I have baby #2 on the way too and am quite nervous about this sleeping situation as well.

I'm not a fan of parents holding doors closed - why don't you try putting a baby gate in his doorway so he can't get out at all? I can't imagine being on the other side of a door that can't be opened. I would be panicked as I'm sure your son is and that is why his emotions are escalating. I would try the super nanny technique mentioned below and put a gate in the doorway. Good luck!

I am having the SAME problem and am expecting in December. I'm not sure what the answer is but most of the time we walk him back to bed, sit with him for a few minutes and rub his back. MOst of the time he goes back to sleep. We did try making a bed on the floor in our room and that worked a few times, but we were afraid to make it a habit. I have the book "No cry sleep solution" and it's ok-maybe a library read instead of buying it. It says that many times if the kids wake up at night you have to replay the bedtime routine for them to fall back to sleep. MIne also wakes up about 530-630 ready to go for the day and I am just tired of that too. I hope this helps. Let me know if you find better solutions!