J.H. asks from Dubuque, IA on January 11, 2008
Sleeping Problem with My 6 Month Old.
My son who is 6 months old just recently got over a cold before the cold I had him in bed by 8:30 and sleeping at the lastest 9:00. I would put him to bed he would cry for 10 min then i would go in and pat his back and he would calm down and be out in 10-15 mintues after that and sleep until 3 in the morning or later. When he got sick he got held a lot b/c all he would do is cry unless I had him and he slept alot either on me or he slept in bed with me (he would start coughing and end up throwing up so I liked him near me). Well now he wont' sleep in his crib he thinks I have to hold him. I love holding him but now his bedtime routine I was using isn't working anymore he won't calm down if I go in there unless I pick him up and as soon as I do that he is out but as soon as I put him down he wakes up again. I have been letting him CIO for the last three days b/c I don't know what else to do. He isn't getting to sleep til after 10:00 and I can't stand to let him CIO I feel so bad doing this. I don't know what to do to get him to want to sleep in his crib again. Is CIO the only way to get him back in there. I have tried holding him til he is alseep but as soon as I put him in teh crib he wakes and and cries. He has never had to CIO except those first 10 min but then he usually went to sleep right when i came in. Everyone my sister, husband, mom says to leave him CIO I seriously am having a hard time doing this. I usually feel like crying right a long with him. Any help would be great. I have no clue what else to do to get him back in his crib. Also he has been so clingy to me during the day to the point he doesn't want to be put down and wants me to hold him which also started after he got his cold. He has also gotten to the point he wont' go to his dad either. I am not really for CIO but at this point I have no clue what else to do.
So What Happened?™
Thanks everyone for your help. The last two days I have put music on in the room and also added a night light thinking that it was too dark for him. I also get him drowsy and make sure that he wants to go to sleep first then I will go lay him in his crib and gently pat his back and once he calms down I just sit in there til i know he is sleeping. It has worked the last two nights so I am just going to keep trying this for now. He now will go in his crib without freaking out also. The CIO method just isn't for me.
M.W. answers from Boise on January 12, 2008
Personally, I am not a fan letting a baby CIO. I have never done so with any of my four kids. Our babies always sleep with my husband and me until they are almost two, and then we have always been able to transition them into a toddler bed. None of our kids have any sleeping problems (Seems people always warn you that they will if you co-sleep with your babies.) If you are not interested in co-sleeping, I would do whatever you can to get him to sleep without letting him CIO (holding, rocking). Babies go through all sorts of changes in the first couple of years that disrupt their "routine" (teething, colds, growth spurts) so it's not surprising that yours doesn't go to sleep like he did a few weeks ago. Don't worry about what other people tell you to do. You are the mommy and your gut will tell you what is the right thing for your baby.
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D.G. answers from Lansing on January 12, 2008
Hello. I too hate CIO. My 9 month old sleeps with me at night. However, I used a technique to get her used to being put in her crib which worked for us and she takes all of her naps in there. She too is clingy and does not want to let go when being put in the crib. I realized when putting her in while the rail was up, she felt like she was "falling" when being put down and made the separation harder. So, I put the railing down first, wait until she is really sleepy, hold her tight and keep her tight, my face next to her cheek until she is on the mattress. Then I make sure she is still asleep and I slowly let go and pull up the railing. If she opens her eyes, I put my face right back next to hers and she goes back to sleep. Just remember to pull the rail back up. It seems to make the transition from arms to bed easier for us. Maybe it can help you! Good luck.
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L.C. answers from Lincoln on January 13, 2008
If you feel strongly about having your baby on a sleeping schedule please consider reading Elizabeth Pantley's "NO CRY SLEEP SOLUTION". This book is an easy read and gives gentle techniques and tools to use to get your baby to sleep on a schedule without having to let your baby cry it out.
Another good book is "NIGHTTIME PARENTING" by Dr. Sears. This book discusses many different nightime options, options to scheduling.
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L.H. answers from La Crosse on January 13, 2008
First i think you should examine your assumption that babies should sleep by themselves, alone, all night, like an adult. This is the ideal that you are operating on, and this is simply not true. Babies do not have fully developed nervous systems, nor do the have the metabolism to go that long without eating. Second, trust your instincts...if letting your baby cry it out feels wrong, don't do it. Don't listen to what others say. Listen to what feels right for you. Our babies are our flesh and blood, and spent almost 10 months growing inside of our bodies...then to expect them to sleep alone does not make sense to me at all. Humans need touch to survive, and it sounds to me like your baby just needs to be close to you. Try wearing your baby in a sling, back-pack, or carrier during the day while you do housework. Babies naturally want to be comforted when they are sick, this is totally natural behavior for your child to want to be held. I would also recommend bringing your baby to bed with you and sleeping with him. Everyone sleeps better. having a side-car or crib right next to your bed, or even a mattress on the floor works too, if your bed isn't big enough. And most of all, remember, every phase is temporary....this too shall pass. I believe if we give the love our children need when they are young, they will grow up to be more self-confident adults. Our culture doesn't honor each stage of life as it happens, we are always pushing ahead to the next...fast fast fast, hurry up and grow up already is how a lot of people feel. Well, that's just not natural and babies and children grow and learn very slowly. Accepting the pace of life that they live is hard for us adults sometimes! (I know it's hard for me to slow down and walk at the pace of my 4 year old when we walk down the street.) Some children don't sleep all night until they are 4, or 5, or 8, or 10! Remember that each child and parent relationship is unique, do what feels right for you.
D.M. answers from Saginaw on January 13, 2008
I had a problem with my son sleeping at all until he was 13 mos. old. I found that every time he got sick routines went straight out the window and he was sick alot... The best thing I found was the sit in routine. Most people say it take 3 or 4 days with my child it took 5 weeks but it was much perferable to the cry it out thing I can't do that either. The sit in routine is when you put him in his crib find a space in his room close to the crib do not speak or make eye contact with him and he will settle down just knowing your there. but I repeat do not make eye contact or talk to him he will use that as a weakness to make you pick him up. and every night sit a little closer to the door, until finally you'll be sitting in the hallway and then you'll be able to walk right out and leave and he will know it's time to lay down and go to sleep... I hope this works for you. I never thought in a million years it would work for me, but it did, and I'm so grateful.. Bed time used to take 2 or 3 hours of rocking and cuddling. with this I sat in his room at longest 45 minutes a few nights and now I just lay him down and leave he does the rest.
M.R. answers from Missoula on January 13, 2008
If you like take one bottle and put some baby cearil in it at night it will help the baby sleep longer.
M.S. answers from Rochester on January 13, 2008
There is a book that has worked for every sleep related problem I have had with my daughter, it's called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child". I hope it helps!
K.L. answers from Madison on January 13, 2008
You might want to check the Baby Whisperer book. She has a pick up/put down method that's gentler than CIO. Basically, you pick you son up as soon as he starts to cry, but put him down as soon as he stops crying. As you can imagine, you'll be picking him up and putting him down 100+ times the first few days, but I know people who say this is worked really well for them.
The daytime clinginess be a developmental milestone. When my 1st child turned 6 months, it was great. I could set her down on a blanket with some toys and walk away for a few minutes. My 3rd child, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. She needed to be held all of the time. I finally bought a sling to make that possible.