Sleeping Habits Changed & I Can't Figure Out Why

it could be their ears.....maybe the beginning of an ear infection & laying flat irritates it. Two of my 4 kids had this happen & they would come on at the change of weather....they would fall asleep fine in my arms, but screem when they were laying down.

Hi Jennifer -

Sounds like you have mostly ruled out any physical discomforts that your baby may have had to contribute to the nightwaking. Temperature in his room could be part of the issue, but I suspect that's probably not the main cause of his waking. If you think temperature is a significant problem, dress him in P.J.'s with feet to keep him warmer, but don't over-heat the room. But, again, I don't think this is the main cause of his waking.

What your son is most likely going through is the very normal, very necessary stage of separation anxiety (i.e. missing you). It's all part of the wonderful way that we humans develop our sense of awareness and it's just another step in their development of trust in you. Unfortunately, many parents have been led to believe that once a child sleeps "through the night" they will/should always sleep through the night with very few exceptions. Having now raised 4 babies with a 5th on the way, I can say with confidence that this is a sleep *myth*, and a very unhealthy one at that. It sets parents up for stress and frustration when their child starts waking up after sleeping through the night for some period of time (I know, because I did this with my first baby). The *truth* is that babies all go through phases of sleeping soundly all night and then enter phases here and there of waking up either due to illness, developmental milestones, anxieties, teething, etc.

Knowing this and wanting both my need for rest and my babies' need for closeness met in a peaceful way, the best solution I have found is to have my babies sleep with me. This way, no matter what the sleep phase, I'm always there to help my babies sleep if they start to wake, and getting them back to sleep when they do wake is much quicker and peaceful when I don't have to get out of bed and they realize I'm right there with them before they get all worked up crying hard. I just roll over and nurse them back to sleep as I drift back to sleep as well. My sleep cycles are hardly interrupted and with a little practice, it's really so easy I hardly even remember waking up when we do wake for a few seconds.

Then, as my kids get into the older toddler ages, I gradually wean them from my bed and never have any significant problems doing so as long as I am gentle and reasonable about the time that it takes to allow the child to adjust. There are no agonizing nights of making my child "cry it out", nor do I ever have to worry that they'll never learn to sleep in their own beds if I don't make them sleep in their own rooms/beds during infancy. Three of my four kids now sleep in their own beds at night and they all had their turns of sleeping with my husband and I. Speaking of my husband, he loves cosleeping because he gets a good night's sleep too!

Some parents are leary of having their babies sleep with them, but it is truly a blessing for many parents and children as long as it is done safely. http://askdrsears.com/html/7/T070600.asp
If you decide to try it, remember that with most new routines you try with your baby, you should be prepared to try it for at least two weeks before you decide if it's going to work for you or not since it may take some adjustment and time to get comfortable. I highly recommend Dr. Sears book called "The Baby Sleep Book" as well as his book "Nighttime Parenting" for info on sleep options and recommendations for safe cosleeping. Another book that is helpful is called "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantly.

I hope this gives you some other ideas to help you and your baby during this time of change...

Blessings,
J.

Your baby is trying to tell you something. He might be going through an emotional or physical growth spurt and just needs more comfort from you right now. What they need and what they want are pretty much the same thing for the first year. There is always sleep disruptions when they are going through any kind of growth spurt, and some babies need more comfort from their mommies during those times.
If he needs to sleep with you, there is no danger to him if you are nursing. Your body is in tune with his. The hormone levels are in synch. Even though my daughter is now in her own toddler bed (pushed up next to our bed), my sleep patterns are still tuned to hers. I still wakes up a few minutes before she wakes up, and I go into lighter sleeping patterns when she does. It's statistically safer for a nursing baby to sleep with their mother than it is for them to sleep in a crib alone.
The danger with co-sleeping or bed-sharing (2 actually different things), is when non-nursing moms, medications, or other caretakers get involved. But a nursing mother's hormones is in synch with her baby's, and is one of the safest ways to sleep.
That being said, you do have to make sure your bed is safe if you choose to just give him what he is telling you he needs right now. If you want more information on that, email me and I'll be happy to give you more info on how to make your bed safe.
Otherwise, just be there for him as he needs it, and his patterns will change again soon. The only consistent thing about babies is that everything is temporary. The good and the bad.
Good luck and keep on nursing! :)

Could it be hunger? I know my little guy goes through growth spurts ( in between teething and etc.) but he gets up at 2am and wants a bottle. The following week he's back to his sched
just a thought
Lynelle

Try a hot water bottle filled with warm water and place that on his stomach. If not a waterbottle, than a bucky pillow that you've heated to warm his stomach area. He can rest on it or use it to prop him on his side. I recommend this because you say he sleeps soundly when on your chest. He could have a stomach ache, cramping, growing pains... the warmth could be very soothing to him. Don't change the room temp, just the contact temp for him. Best wishes!!

What I noticed with my children is that the temperature from you and the transition into the crib are different. I tend to wrap (or swaddle) baby up in a blanket, so when I transfer to the crib, there is still some warmth there, and not cold sheets or a cold blanket. Try it and see, you never know.

I would suggest you read Dr. Sears on attachment parenting and especially his book on infants and children. He believes strongly in co-sleeping, and has a very good explanation as to why these little ones sleep so well with their parents. Co-sleeping is normal and accepted in Asian, African, and Latin Americans (especially if they are poor). I think your little one is telling you about what he needs.
Good luck!

Hi Jennifer,

I also have a ten month old who is going through changes (this is one of those phase times in a child's life that can just be difficult). I co-slept her until she was about 8 months old and then transitioned her to her crib in my room. She still gets in bed with me nurse three or four times a night and usually the last nurse she stays in bed with me until she wakes up for good about 7:30 or so. I have noticed in the last couple of weeks that she does wake up at about 2 or so and wants to play. It is easy for me to get her to lay back down and nurse back to sleep but I can see that if I weren't still nursing it would be way more difficult to get her to sleep. You didn't mention if you have tried nursing him to sleep....

One thought I had while reading your post is that while she was teething (she has eight so far) her ears really bothered her when she was laying flat and she preferred to sleep in my arms where her head was higher, even slightly, than her heart. I wonder if that is what is going on with your little one. If it is possible, you can roll up a small towel and place it under the mattress just to get a tiny bit of elevation so that there isn't as much pressure on the ears. Children's eustacian tubes are horizontal rather than veritical like an adult's and fluid build-up, a typical symptom of teething, can be really uncomfortable for them.

Any way it goes, this too shall pass, hang in there!

Both of my kids did the very same thing while teething. I know it seems like it couldn't be pain because he sleeps just fine on you, but that is very calming. The smell and touch of mommy has amazing pain reliving powers. You will soon see that when your little one starts toddling and hurting himself more.
As a test, to see if pain is really the issue, give him Motrin around midnight. Teething pain is from swelling, so Tylenol will not help, it has to be Ibuprofen. He sleeps very well for the beginning of the night because he is so tired, but wakes up when he gets to a lighter place in his sleep cycle. In my experience, if you give him Motrin around midnight, it will last 6-8 hours, so baby will sleep through the night. You may also notice that his teeth seem to cause very little pain during the day but a lot of pain at night. That is perfectly normal... everything hurts more when you completely relax at night.

I would bet that it's an emotional thing, and he's just starting that **wonderful** phase of separation anxiety. It may just be easier for you to let him sleep with you for a month or two until he's ready to go back into his own bed.

Both my boys were wonderful sleepers in their own beds, but both of them also went through periods of time when they just needed to be with us. Sometimes it was because they weren't feeling well, and sometimes it just seemed to be something emotional that they needed to work through... nightmares, separation anxiety, etc. What we usually did, was to go ahead and put them to bed in their own bed, but if they woke up, let them crawl in with us. Once whatever the issue was had passed, we found that they'd stay asleep in their own beds again, and hadn't developed the expectation of going to bed in our bed. While I know the co-sleeping things works well for a lot of families, it just wasn't for us as a full time arrangement.

My son's room was over the garage and faced west when he was a baby and that was the coolest side of the house at night so we put a space heater in his room at night.
He also did the same thing while teething and he was also prone to ear infections because of the daycare he was at (we changed it) and it turns out he had hand, foot, and mouth disease and I caught it from him being the one he had slept on for comfort and it is terribly painful. Oh and he had ear infections in both ears as well. I recommend getting a quick check up to rule anything out if you can especially if warming his room doesn't help.

My 10 month old just started doing this also. He also started standing up and sitting up in the crib and elsewhere. I did some research and found that when they are going through new stages of developement that they sleep lighter and have nightwakings that they weren't otherwise having. We soothe him and lay him back down and he cries himself to sleep very briefly. He won't let us hold him and rock him, I think because he is so tired and wants to get back to sleep. After about a week he finally slept the entire night through again. It's another hurdle to get over I guess. Good luck, M.

My input is regarding regulating the room temperature. I live in a house where a few bedrooms get quite a bit colder than the rest of the house. My solution has been using an oil filled radiator in each. They are great. I recommend Honeywell brand. You can get them at Target or hardware stores for around $40.

my 22 mo old was waking alot at night and getting up early. We changed from light cotton pjs to fleece sleepers for 3 days now. It has made a huge difference. Less waking up at night and 3 days in a row she has slept past 6:30 (norm before was 5:30-6:15) A sleeper is an easy was to help regulate temp, especially for a young child when you know they won't keep a blanket on. When my daughter was young we often used a light sleeper with a sleep sack instead of a blanket.

Could it be an ear infection? My little girl did the same thing. She was fine if I was holding her, but as soon as I put her down she'd cry and scream. Turns out it was the elevation of her head that helped, but when I put her down flat she'd cry because of the pressure. That'd be my only guess! If you roll up a blanket or put a pillow under one end of the matress it will elevate his head, that helped Nora.

Jennifer,

Forgive my laughter while I read about how he'll only sleep on you. This is my 19 month old 2-3 days/nights a week. She is so very much more of a clingy Mommy's Girl than her brother has ever been. There have been times when the **Only** way to get her to sleep at all was to hold her.

When she was younger I'd do that no problem, now though I try to avoid it. Most often now if she starts crying/screaming when I put her in bed I let her work it out for herself. Sometimes she'll fuss for a few minutes then go to sleep. Other times she'll scream and not stop. Those times I give her enough time to try and work it out for herself, then go in with a rag to clean up her face. That time around she's worked herself into exhaustion and will stay asleep when I put her in bed.

It's hard trying to figure out why they change. For her it's usually a growth spurt, teething, or that I haven't been around enough to suit *her*. Give him loves and cuddles and reassure him with your presence that everything is still ok in his world.

Best wishes,
Melissa