Sleep Training and Pacifiers

My son is 15 months old goes to bed with his babydoll, a full bottle, and his pacifier. He goes to sleep on his own but he needs to have all 3 things. His doctor says this is fine. When he is a little older I will take it away. But as long as your baby sleeps don/t fight it. Pick your battles. Ferber works well, but we did it with the pacifier. And a milder version.

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So many moms go through this! Some say you have to go cold turkey at night, but a friend of mine just put 5-6 pacifiers in the crib with her daughter. And she would cry until she found one, and then popped it back in herself. Would that work with your little guy?

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I wouldn't try to get rid of the binky.  He will outgrow needing it constantly to sleep.  He will get to a point where he will only need it to fall asleep.  And if he drops it while sleeping he'll stay out.  However, if he starts to stir during the night, he will need the binky to go back down.  And he won't be able to find it on his own.  We always kept a couple extras on the dresser so we're not searching around in the dark.  So all you really have to do in the dark is blug him back up and go back to bed.  I always kept a nightlight in my kids rooms so I didn't bump into anything.  Part of the sleep training is the routine that leads up to the sleep.  Set up a consistant routine that can be repeated nightly.  This way he can predict what is next and knows it's time for sleep.  With my kids this is the routine:7:30 Go upstairs and change into pj's7:35 read a book and drink our milk7:40 turn on the music (I play classical cd's for my kids)     turn out the lights, rock and finish the milk7:45 kisses and hugs, in the bed and leave the roomI play music so that during the night, if my kids wake I can use it quickly to help them fall back asleep.  It also helps to set the mood for sleep.  It works for naps too.  My son is 4 1/2, he's had the same routine since he was 3 mos, and he goes to bed every night without fuss (following my daughter, he starts bedtime at 7:45).  My daughter at 19 mos is the same way.  Nights when I add the bath, bedtime starts at 7 to give them time to play in the tub.  But they are both in bed well, before 8 and usually sound asleep by 8:30.  The music helps because even if they don't fall asleep right away, they play quietly in their rooms until they do. And if they wake during the night all I have to do is turn the cd back on and their out instantly.

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Both my girls used a nuk...pacifier...and both had this problem. I attached it to one of their stuffed toys that they cuddled, and that way they could find it during the night. They were always able to get it back in w/o any problem. The swaddling may be helping to prevent this. It never took my girls longer than a night or two to be able to figure this out. My youngest would have sucked her thumb if we took the nuk, and I did not want that. She is 2 now, and only uses it for bed time. My older chld gave up the nuk all on her own, cold turkey, before she was three. She only had it for bed from the time she walked on. Hope this helps!

Your baby seems a bit too old to be swaddled -- where do you find blankets big enough? Our girl loved to be swaddled but then we just started covering her up with a larger blanket and wrapping it around her and tucking it underneath -- soon she forgot about swaddling. As for the paci, a lot of kids at this age still sleep with a paci. My doctor recently recommended putting the paci on a paci holder and attaching it to her shirt at night so she can find it. Just remember the holder cannot be longer than 6 inches, or the baby can wrap it around his neck. Other than that, the only thing I can say is don't rush. We often rush to have our babies grow out of this and that, but we really should let them be just what they are -- babies. If he wants his paci, let him have it. Eventually he will grow out of it naturally.

We went through the exact same thing at right about the same age...though we had already stopped swaddling because my little one was way too big to be swaddled at that point!! We did the sleep training and it was miserable for about 10 months....mainly because he would lose his binky. I don't know what ever took us that long to figure it out, but one night my husband just said "remember those straps we used when he was a newborn to hold the binky to his clothes? Why don't we try that while he is sleeping so he always knows where it is?" Ingenious!! We strapped it to him and he immediately started sleeping through the night, or at least would just stir to find his binky and then go right back. He is 2.4 yrs old now and he still is sleeping successfully, even through a move to a toddler bed. We are just about to take away the binky (my niece is going to be born any day now and we are going to try "gifting" them away). Say some prayers for us and we will for you also!!

Hey R.,

I can feel your pain. My daughter suffered terrible ear infections as a baby and the pacifier really helped her so I couldn't bring myself to take it away. Once she had the tubes put into her ears I did sleep train her. I did not take away the pacifier I would go in check on her plug her back up and walk back out. The sleep training took three nights and it was over. The best thing I ever did. I would then put a bunch of pacifiers in her crib so she could just find it on her own and put it back in herself. My daughter was over two before I took away the pacifier but I never allowed her to walk around with it. It stayed in her crib and she only used it for sleep. It will delay speech and also do harm to their teeth if you let them have it all of the time. I know it is sometimes the easy way out but it can really become a crutch for them as well. I didn't see the harm as long as it stayed in the crib. It was so cute as soon as I would go in to get her from sleep or her naps she would hand me binky and I would put it in the corner of her crib. Children learn what we teach them so it is really up to you how you handle it. Some people do take the pacifier away and sleep train both at the same time, but I just couldn't do it. Good luck and I am sure you will make the right decision on what is best for your baby. Good luck!!! Oh! one more tip when you sleep train I did it at naptime as well so you are consistent with sleep and can speed up the process as well.

The swaddling and paci are forms of comfort for your baby boy..... why remove them? Why make his life (and yours) miserable? I'd just keep doing what you have already put into play. It seems to be a great thing for your child. Why mess with a good thing? Good luck.
D.

Hi R.,
We took a different tack and filled his crib with pacifiers. He was about 8 months old when he could finally put a paci back in on his own. It did take a lot of time for him, because his personality is "if you can put my paci in, I'll just cry until you come and do it!" (same way with refusing to crawl, etc -- he's 10 months now and only just started crawling! he had people to move him, so why crawl?)

We also had friends whose daughter learned to sleep with a paci in her mouth, one in each hand, and 2 more in the crib.

Good luck with whatever course you set. Sleep is essential!

I would do what some other moms are doing -- put a few binkies in the crib and skip the swaddle. My 9 month old girl gave swaddling up quite some time ago.

Don't think of it as an addiction, it is a security blanket to him. You wouldn't take a baby's blankie away, so why take a binkie away?

I put her to bed (and naps) with a binkie and her blanket and let her cry herself to sleep. It almost never takes more than 5 minutes, and most of the time it just takes seconds. He'll need to get used to putting himself to bed, but take it slow....don't force him, and definitely don't take the pacifier away.

Good luck.

- S.

Hey There,
I would take it one step at a time. Lots of kids his age still have paci's for sleeping. My daughter used hers for sleeping until she was 2. One night when we were visiting my parents I really lost the paci's. I wasn't going to go buy new ones that night, so I just told her they were all gone. She just said "oh, all gone?" rolled over and went to sleep and that was the end of them!! Anyway, your child has to learn how to sleep without the swaddling first. The sleep swaddling might slow down his rolling etc. Once he learns to move around on his own, he will be able to make himself comfortable. 8 months seems a little old to be swaddled. Also, if he can move around more, soon he will be able to put the pacifier in and out himself when he knocks it out. My niece was doing this at around 6 months old!! As long as your child doesn't need the pacifier all day long and just uses it for sleeping, you don't need to get rid of it yet. It might be easier to get rid of it when the child has other ways to self soothe, ie. move around, has other lovies (my daughter has a very special stuffed giraffe that we introduced to her around your daughters age) etc. Hope this helps.

i would try to take the paci away first (a few weeks doing this), and then sleep train. i don't see how you could do both. if he cannot find the paci he'll be crying for you to come and help. i don't like pacifiers. I didn't use them for my kids.
good luck