Sleep Talking

Hi J.,
My daughter used to spend off and on times with her father when she was 3 years old and it was awlful.. She would come home in a foul mood and I never knew why. After a couple of days home, she would be ok and then on the weekend when she went back, she started up again. I would ask her and him what was going on, but they both would not tell me until one day she came home with bruises. Hopefully, that will never happen to you. Unfortunately, it sounds to me like he is miserable and don't know where to turn to. Even though they know they have someone at home that loves them unconditionally, they still want what is not good for them. I would tell you to have a family meeting without the child to discuss some solutions. First, the mother needs to be in his life all the way. Children tend to feel like it is their fault because the parent does not want to spend time with them. Try to explain to her that it is hurting him more than helping him by him not seeing her. She either needs to be in his life or just step away. I hope she decides to stay in his life if it is for the best which is something you as a grandmom would have to consider. He needs to feel loved by both parties and equally and that is not happening. I hope this helps a little. PS. Maybe talk to him and see what they do on his visits and maybe you can get some idea of what environment he is going into. He sounds like a joy to have and I wouldn't want his childhood to be messed up with foolishness. Hope this helps.

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I have a daughter who sleep talks. I was a very active sleeper when I was young. I think it might be hereditary. I would ask the mother if she sleep talked. The only thing I would worry about is the potiential to also be a sleep walker. Just make sure he can't get out of the house while he's asleep.

Good Luck,
S.

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Hi J.,

Sleep talking does not happen during restful sleep. There is definitely something there keeping him from getting the restful sleep. Sometimes it can be something as simple as eating before bed, or bad habits during the day that might exacerbate the restlessness. Stress of course is the most prevalent cause and he definitely has a lot of stress in his life. I don't know whether a 5 year old needs therapy as much as he needs assurance that there is someone in his life that loves him unconditionally. You and your husband are those people and at this point he is priority. Your daughter is exhibiting VERY destructive behavior and it's not fair to your little one.

I would not try to get her to visit. As far as a manual is concerned, none of us got one of those! Like I said, love him like you've never loved anyone and as time goes by he will know who his real parents are.

God bless you in everything you are doing!

M.

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Hi J., I have 5 children and so far all my children have talked in thier sleep and they have me and my husband. I think there is no mental concern there and i think its all healthy. Some times they laugh in their sleep sometimes they fight in their sleep and yell. Right now my 3 year old screams at his sisters in his sleep. The baby is 1 yr old i heard him laugh a couple times. My 9 year old she always has talked in her sleep, mostly can't understand what she says but usually the smile on her face its something nice. My 7 year old does once in a while, but she gets up alot and sleep walks but never says anything. I am sorry that your grandson does not have his mother but atleast his has his grandmother for love and support and it takes alot for you to raise another child, and i know that is frustrating. I believe he is fine and just doing normal things that children do. Also since he is young and his mother isn't around maybe you should start some counseling for him, it will be really healthy for him and when he gets older and if his mother still doesn't come around then thats when things will start getting rough and he will already be in therapy.
Good Luck
S. Mommy to 5 beautiful Children, 17yrs,9yrs,7yrs,3yrs and 1yr old check out my sons journey at www.liamlockhart.com

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Your story makes me want to hug your grandson and tell him that it will all be ok!! Thank heavens he has you and your husband! I know I'm stating the obvious, but your daughter is selfish and it sounds like her alternative lifestyle has completely warped her priorities. I'm sure you gave her the world and she only wanted more.... anyway, have you thought about a child psycologist? The whole idea of "therapy" is scary if you've never gone through it, but it is SO beneficial. At least a child psycologist would know what to ask and how to communicate on his level. Good luck and God Bless!

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Hello J.,
Lol, am an older Mom also, but have no small ones at home. My daughter married, 29 and a son 36 not married. Neither one has children which at this point is a good thing. Neither is really ready for the responsibility of a baby. As hard as it might be, I would not allow your daughter to take her son over night, and why bother allowing her access to the child when it seems to affect him negatively? The "my fault" might also be him feeling he is causing his mother not to keep her word or spend time with him. If she is that selfish, she does not deserve the right to be a part of the child's life. He is much to young to understand its his mother's fault not his own. Growing up is not an easy task under normal conditions. Sometimes because we love our children (grown) we enable them to continue destructive behavior. But to subject a child to that is in my opinion wrong. I praise you for taking on the task of raising him, that is a beautiful gift to the child. But your daughter is grown, and making her own choices right or wrong. There is nothing you can do at this point for her, but you can for your grand son. Some of the toughest decisions we make are done for the future. I wish you luck, prayers and love! dry~

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I did a little web research for you on this topic, mainly because I have a couple of children who talk in their sleep, and one who walks in his sleep. I also talk in my sleep, but usually only when I am very tired. That's when I snore really badly too, Ha! I have also been through the nightmares, night terrors, and other sleep disturbances... so I thought I would just double-check some facts for the both of us.

Here are a few links I found, just to get you started..

http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/childrens...
http://www.sleep-aid-tips.com/sleep-talking.html
http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/talking-in-your-sleep
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somniloquy

I know that your grandson has been through alot, I am going through the same thing with my sister. I have been raising her 5 small children for nearly 3 years now. Everything is the same concerning moods and behaviors after visitations. The only difference is that I absolutely DO NOT allow unsupervised visits, especially overnight. This is mainly due to domestic violence issues (which is a huge factor in why she lost her children in the first place). Also, I do not want to give her the chance to fill their minds with nonsense ideas and promises she can never keep... like "I'll have a house soon and then you can come live with me again" etc...

Anyways, if you check out the links above you will find that sleep talking is very common in children and is NOT necessarily a sign that something is wrong. But if you have any doubts speak with your pediatrician. Hopefully you trust his/her knowledge and advice, or else you should seek a new one. If he/she feels that therapy would be beneficial, or any type of sleep study, etc. he/she will make the necessary referrals.

Best wishes to you and your family. I will pray for you all, I know what you are going through....only I am an Aunt instead of a Grandmother.

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YAY!!!! for YOU and your husband!!
everyone covered everything:
1) therapy
2) I hope you have legal custody, etv, bcse it's getting harder for grandparents to have legal ties and I hope that mother doesn't come out of left field one day and demand him back!!

Bless you!!!

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Hi,
Sorry to hear about your daughter. I hope something changes for your grandsons sake. About the sleeptalking though, I did it throughout my childhood, and my husband says I still do sometimes. My 2 year old son has been doing it since he could talk as well. I just think busy people have busy dreams. My childhood doctor always told my parents I NEVER slowed down, even in sleep. I was a VERY active child, just like my son. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.

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