Sleep Problems with My 6-Month Old

Updated on March 29, 2009
M.W. asks from Maryland Heights, MO
20 answers

Hello! I'm having some sleep problems with my 6-month old daughter lately, and I could really use some input as to how to help her sleep better. I'm afraid we have multiple issues and I'm confused as to how to proceed.

My daughter goes to daycare during the day (from around 8:30-5:30). She used to take really good naps there when she was younger, but now she hardly sleeps at all. She will sometimes sleep only a half hour all day, most times it's around an hour/hour and a half total. (I'm guessing part of the bad naps at daycare are because they don't swaddle her and the other part is just that she wants to watch everybody.)

When I get her home, she's obviously exhausted and I do my best to get her fed/bathed/etc so that she can go to bed on time or early. Her bedtime is usually 6:30. I dreamfeed her around 9:30 or 10, and then I see when the next time she wakes is. Sometimes she'll wake up early morning and acts hungry, so when she does I feed her. Up until recently, even not sleeping well at daycare, she would sleep around 12 hours at night.

We also still swaddle her, actually we double-swaddle her because she escapes a single really easily and gets angry. Now she can get out of the double as well during the night, but it takes longer. Two nights ago she got an arm out around 5am and after fussing for a while I got up and fed and rewrapped her. She was tired and went back to bed and was quiet until she got her arm out again a short time later...then she fussed for a bit, and then she got angry. I gave her some time to fuss and when it didn't stop I rewrapped her again. After that she cried for a long time...I tried PUPD with her, but finally got her up at 7. I have to wonder if going in there made her more upset that I wouldn't get her up.
Last night she slept until a little after 6.

Now all that being said, I also have issues on the weekends. Alot of weekday nights she sleeps ok, probably because she's so very tired. On weekends, I swaddle her for naps and she naps better during the day, but then she will not go to sleep at night. She gets tired at the same time, but will cry and cry if I let her. (She also rolls around in her swaddle) She's probably just still overtired, but I don't know.

I could use advice on any of this...I'm thinking about taking away her swaddle so that she can learn to sleep without it, but I don't know if I should. I am going to talk the people at daycare to see what we can do (I could try to see if they'll double swaddle her or something)...
Does anyone have any idea where I should start?

Thanks for listening!

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So What Happened?

I just wanted to give a new update and thank everyone again. We did end up not swaddling her this weekend...we didn't plan to, but she started breaking out of it during naps and not waking up...then that night she was not going to sleep and it just seemed like time. Before then, she really seemed to still enjoy being swaddled. Anyway the first night was horrible but after that it got alot better.
As for daycare, we are still trying some things to help her sleep better...I told them for now to lay her down after she'd been up for 2 hours (unless she's tired before that) so she'll nap at roughly the same times each day. They obviously can't tell when she's ready for a nap so I think this will help. If she still won't start sleeping better at least I have some ideas on what to try next.
----------------------
Thank you everyone for taking the time to post some help for me. You have given me alot to think about and try.

I talked to the daycare more this morning and the lady said they do still wrap her up and lay her down for naps when she is tired. I am thinking that they are waiting too long to lay her down (with everything going on, I'm guessing her sleepy signs aren't coming out til it's too late). So they are going to try laying her down earlier first, and then we'll go from there.

My dr said that it was completely fine to continue swaddling her at this point...I definitely don't want to continue it if it annoys her, but I think it is still helping her sleep at this point. ALthough last night she did work an arm out and for the first time she went back to sleep with it that way, so that's a good sign. If the scheduling updates don't help or she acts like she doesn't want it anymore, we'll work on taking it away.

About the early bedtime, yes I do miss her very much. I'd much prefer if she could stay up a little while so I could see her. At this point though, she is an exhausted mess, and she needs to sleep at that point. She gets up between 6 and 7 most days, which seems to fall within "normal" times?

I'm sure I have forgotten to say many of the things I wanted to in this update...
You have given me many options to try though, and I will keep working on helping her figure it out! I really appreciate the input!

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T.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I have to say that I feel that she is much too old to be swaddling - they usually stop around 3 months of age. Especially at 6 months - they are moving around more and that constriction can be quite frustrating and may be causing her lack of sleep. If you stop swaddling it might take a couple of nights for her to get used to it but it will be better. At her age - babies usually should be taking 2 naps a day. Do you have a nighttime routine? Put her to bed at the same time every night and have some kind of routine - (i.e. bath, read book, etc...). Also, try to have the daycare lay her down for her naps at the same time everyday. Consistency and routine are ideal for babies. Good luck.

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A.R.

answers from Oklahoma City on

This is a link to a website with swaddling blankets and sleep sacks. The blankets are big and nice for good swaddles. You CAN keep swaddling. If baby likes it and sleeps better and baby is getting plenty of time out of the swaddling blanket (which it sounds like she is).

http://www.landofnod.com/category.aspx?c=67&pc=8

I would still work on weaning her off of it so that she can sleep better at daycare and has more awake time at home with you. Having to put her right to bed so she isn't miserable can't be that fun for you guys. But, I agree with the folks that said you are her mom and know her best. Babies are also pretty good at letting us know what they like. I hope this helps. Let me know if you have more questions.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

As they get older babies don't need as much sleep. You might try a later bed time. My daughter started sleeping only 8-9 hours per night at about 7 months. By 9 months we cut down to one nap in the daytime. Now, at 21 months, we've moved her bedtime all the way back to 9:30 p.m. and she gets up at 7 a.m. (if I'm lucky. Sometimes she gets up as early as 5:30 or 6 a.m.) She takes about a two-hour nap in the afternoon. You should probably stop swaddling your daughter. She doesn't need it anymore and it sounds like it's becoming much more of a hinderance than a help. You might also consider giving her a pacifier at bedtime. Some people don't like pacifiers, but it helps my daughter sleep better at night. She wanted it frequently when she was younger but not now. In the daytime, she only wants it when she sees it so I clean it every morning and put it in a drawer until bedtime.

Good luck.

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

just a couple thoughts i had, like the other moms, i think it's time to stop swaddling her. six months is awfully old and she may be getting mad because she's trying to move around and is restricted. (i can't really remember the timeline, my son is now 2 1/2 and he was walking by 9 months so every baby is different) just think if you were wrapped up straight-jacket-style while trying to sleep! if she's moving around and mobile while she's awake and then restricted when she's sleeping it may be bugging her.

the other thought i had was it might be time to push her bedtime back a little bit. seven, maybe even seven thirty. that would be my first move when my little one wasn't sleeping well during the day. there is a wide range of "normal" sleep times for this age, but i think it was around this time that i started putting my son down a little later. pick a day (maybe this weekend) where she takes a real good nap during the day, and then don't sweat it when she doesn't want to go down right at 6:30. maybe spend half an hour or so on the floor with her to keep her stimulated. then see if she doesn't sleep better, and make sure to get her up at the same time, then i bet she'll take a better nap the next day.

just my two cents. good luck!

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L.S.

answers from Wichita on

Hello M.,

Yeah, I'm thinking it's time to get rid of the swaddler. That will help her at daycare and at home.

Where to start?... Start NOW!! Cold Turkey!! It's going to be rough, but she will get used to it. It really should only take her about 2-3 days to adjust.

She's getting older, so she will wake easier. I'm thinking when her body is totally tired from not getting enough sleep due to the noise at the daycare, she will adjust to that as well.

As for the weekends, it sounds like she may be getting too much sleep at naps, therefore not sleeping at night. You may have to "tweak" her nap schedule at home. Remember, she's not getting a nap at daycare, so when she does at home, it's no wonder she's not sleeping at night.

You may want to see if the daycare can work with you on her nap. It's important for their growth to get plenty of rest. If they won't, (or can't) it might be time to look around for another daycare/sitter.

Good luck!! ls

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I think the swaddling is causing her discomfort, & I agree that swaddling at this point could be delaying her physical development. She should be able to roll over, push up at will....& the swaddling is preventing that growth.

On another note, is she hungry? Are you doing bedtime cereal/fruit? This would also aid in longer nights. & you'll find that the more active she becomes, the more food she'll need. With my own children, they were on all foods (cereal, fruit, vegies) by six months....& the same has held true for my daycare kiddies too.

D.H.

answers from Kansas City on

I agree with the other mamas about not swaddling her anymore. Do cover her up with a light blanket, but don't swaddle anymore. At 6 months she should be more mobile and that could be her problem, she's not. Also, at 6 months she should only be taking short naps during the day. Usually 1 in the morning for about an hour and one in the afternoon for about an hour and a half to two hours. Taking a really long nap during the day may be the problem on the weekends. Our daughters went to bed right after lunch for nap and we'd wake them up about 2 hours later. Then they didn't go to bed for the night until 8 or 9 pm. They'd sleep until 7 am. They would take a morning nap for about an hour. They did that until they were around 10 months old then they forwent their morning nap. They still had a late bedtime until they were about 20 months old. Then bedtime was earlier. Don't know if any of this helps or not, but I do wish you well with your baby's sleep matters. Good luck and God Bless.

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R.N.

answers from Kansas City on

Have you tried NOT swaddling her? Maybe she is ready for more physical freedom during sleep (stretching, moving, turning on her side, etc.). Have you tried Sleep-sacks? I'm sure she is extremely overtired and the bad naps are the culprit.

You should talk to the daycare asap and find out what is going on. Maybe they are missing their window of opportunity with the naps. My daughter is about the same age and she gets sleepy after being up for only 2 hours in the morning. If they are waiting for a set time that is much later than 2 hours after she woke up that morning - then she is overtired and can't settle down. She may need to be put down as early as 9am. Especially if she is waking up at 5, 6, or 7am!

So do they have set nap times or are they watching babies for signs of tiredness? As soon as they start rubbing their eyes or getting a little fussy..it's time. My guess is they are waiting too long and she is too wired to sleep.

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B.S.

answers from Kansas City on

M.,
My little guy is 6 months also. We stopped swaddling him more than 2 months ago, I don't remember exactly. It was just too hard to keep him swaddled, and it seemed like he didn't want to be cooped up like that anymore. He wanted his arms free. Maybe she is just ready for no more swaddling. Basically she will have to learn how to sleep and not be swaddled, so maybe you should try not swaddling her. My little guy sleeps 3-4.5 hours during the day at daycare. He is there 6:40-4:40pm. I put him down about 9pm, and he usually gets up once in the middle of the night anywhere from 1:30-3am. I feed him then. Then I get him up at 5:45 to get ready to go. I don't know if this helped any, but I thought I'd let you know what kind of schedule he has me on :)

M.B.

answers from St. Louis on

My son is 6 months. We stopped swaddling him when he was about 3 weeks. The nurse explained to me that newborns like to be swaddled because when their arms and legs are able to move freely, it scares them and wakes them up. Being 6 months old, I can see how being swaddled could get on her nerves. My son could even bust out of a pair of blue jeans if I swaddled him in that. I mean I wouldnt but Im just giving you an example. Some babies are light sleepers, my son is, she is probably having troubles napping with noise. But the only GOOD nap my son takes is the morning nap, an hour to hour 1/2. The afternoon is like half hour. He goes to bed around 8pm and wakes up at 7am. If that helps you any. Get rid of the swaddler, at that age I think they might hate them!

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T.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I would wager that it's the noise that is bothering her. If she's an only child you probably tip-toe around when she's sleeping, big mistake if you go ahead and make normal noises, she gets used to it, my grand kids can sleep through anything! I have found that a noise machine turned on during sleeping helps keep them down longer, they can't hear the other noises in the house if its on. I have an alarm clock that has this feature and watched 6 of my grand kids each day, I had the idea to use this one nap time, because not all the kids napped and a longer nap time!! They don't hear those sudden noises that will wake them, instead they hear crickets or ocean noises.
As for the swaddling, you know your child best and eventually, they will let you know that they're finished with the swaddling. Their exercise will come when it's an appropriate time.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Okay, all of your advice so far told you to stop swaddling. I'm going to say - you are her mom and you know best - it's okay to trust yourself. Swaddling may be her comfort and she's only six months old, she really doesn't have to suck it up and be a big girl. If she truly isn't liking the swaddle and sleeps well without it - that's different. Just as a mom who holds their baby, rocks them, gives them a bottle - whatever the vice - swaddling is completely valid and I have found several children who enjoy that security. (I have done in home daycare for 8 years and have 5 children of my own) There have been a few who have until 10 months or so. Many people don't seem to understand "how to" or the benefits. That's not your problem. The children let you know when they are done. Rather than a double; have you tried a slightly larger blanket? If you and your baby are ready to give it up great; if you are looking for your daycare to be consistent - give them the blanket and lessons on how to use it. As for that 6:30 bedtime, don't you miss her? :( I would be starving for MY baby time if I worked all day and didn't get to see her longer in the evenings - God bless you with peace and patience - enjoy this time, they grow WAY too fast!

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J.V.

answers from Kansas City on

WOW!! I read through the responses and people seem to be very h*** o* you! You're doing great and loving your baby as much as possible. That's the best thing we can do as mamas.
Every baby is different and you know what is right for your little one.
For my daughter, she hated her swaddle after about a month old, so we stopped using it. She isn't having difficulty sleeping, but she doesn't eat much at daycare. It's because she is SO distracted by my nieces and wants to watch them play and wants to see what is going on ALL the time. She will figure out her routine. Their little bodies are smarter than we give them credit for. If she's sleepy enough, she'll sleep. If she's hungry enough, she'll eat. Good luck!!!

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A.H.

answers from Kansas City on

You should probably think about giving up the swaddle especially if she is rolling around and trying to break out of it. At 6 months, she's old enough to get her hand to her mouth and she might start self-soothing more if she has access to her fingers. I know it's kind of scary to give up the swaddle, but at her age she is probably more than ready and it will hopefully be a smooth transition. I was surprised by how easily both of my kids gave it up. One was 5 months and the other was only 2 or 3 months. Good luck!

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K.G.

answers from St. Louis on

We still swaddle our six-month-old son because he sleeps better with it. Don't worry about the negative feedback you've gotten so far.
We had to modify his swaddle because he is a Houdini. I went to a fabric store and got lengths of flannel to make larger blankets. My husband found out that if we use a blanket to secure his arms first, and then use a second blanket as a swaddle, it works a lot better. He sleeps much longer.
Secondarily, the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" really helped me. It sounds like your daughter is not getting enough sleep during the week and doesn't know how to catch up on the weekends. The book might have some good ideas for you, and you could maybe help the day care, too.
At my son's day care, I asked them to put him in a separate room so he could sleep. He really liked to watch all the other kids, and he would sometimes not sleep at all!
Also, white noise does help... we have a radio tuned to static that helps him sleep.
I hope this helps! We certainly don't have it all figured out, but we've found a few tricks that work for us and meet our son's needs.

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C.T.

answers from Kansas City on

I know how frustrating it can be but it does get better!
Children go through different phases and sometimes it is a mixture of things.

She is getting old enough that you don't need to swaddle her anymore and she may be getting upset because she can't move. Also, if she's not sleeping during the day, she will have problems at night and that is when she wants to be with you.

At daycare, do they have a separate place for her to sleep, while the other children are playing? She should be taking at least 2 naps during the day and sleeping all night for you.
Good luck!

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A.P.

answers from Kansas City on

I have a daughter who is 7 months old now and she used to have to be swaddled. Around 4 months my husband and I decided to get her out of the habit of swaddling her. My suggestion would be to give her a few nights without it. Keep in mind there WILL Be crying involved but it will be worth. It will take her about 3 days to get her out of the habit.
I would also suggest putting her in her own crib. This will teach her to self soothe. I am a Babywise Mom and my daughter has been sleeping from 8pm to 7am since she was 8 weeks old. If you haven’t read it I highly suggest it. My daughter takes 2 naps throughout the day ranging from 1:30 to 2 hours each, deeding her after she wake up from her nap. Here is a sample schedule:
7am- 8 oz bottle and cereal + fruit
9am Nap in pack n play (at daycare)
11am- 8 oz bottle and vegetables
1pm Nap
3pm- 8 oz bottle and Veg + Fruit
7pm – 8oz bottle
7:30 bath time
8 pm Bed time

And she loves her bed. She doesn’t cry one bit. One of the reasons I believe she is so happy is because we let her cry when she was little. And if you time it normally she would cry max. for 10 min. But now she never does.

The best thing for her to develop is a parent direct schedule. Babies need a schedule for them to function correctly, plus it is great because you should know why they are crying. If it’s close to her nap time then you know she is probably tired and needs to take a nap same with her being hungry. Best advice would be to read Babywise. Everyone I've met who is a babywise mom has great babies and people comment on how easy they are. Very happy babies and MOMS!
Good Luck!

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K.G.

answers from Kansas City on

My best advice:

Schedule

Naps during the day - babies need sleep during the day to sleep well at night - I would ask for your baby to be put in another room while at daycare - she should have 2 good naps during the day.

Stop swaddling - she no longer needs to be swaddles plus she can't put herself back to sleep once she has wiggled out. Think of it this way, you sleep with a pillow - if you wake up in the middle of the night you are going to search for your pillow in order to fall back asleep right? If you continue swaddling you will have to continually be waking up every time she gets out to swaddle her back up since she can't do that herself.

BEDTIME ROUTINE - where the baby puts herself to sleep - 6:30 is too early of a bedtime for a 6 month old. If she needs to cat nap when you pick her up from daycare do so but then wake her and have dinner and do your bedtime routine

At 6 months babies become habitual so anything you are doing you need to be ready to do for a long time.

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K.D.

answers from Kansas City on

M.,
Swaddling that late slows down there development. They do not learn to push up and use the muscles that teach them to roll, turn over and eventually get to a sitted position and then on to a standing position. She needs to learn to self soothe and sleep with out being swaddled.

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R.H.

answers from St. Louis on

M., I don't know what the rules and regulations are in MO, but in IL is is a standard that they are not allowed to swaddle babiesat any time for any reason, they aren't even allowed to let the baby sleep with their head propped up without a doctor's letter until they are at least 18 months old. It used to aggravate me when I would drop off my kids were they were little, little babies and they would be asleep in their car seat and I would have to wake them up to get them out of their seat because the daycare was not allowed to let me just leave them in their seat in the room.

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