Sleep Problems - Philadelphia,PA

she could be started to teeth. some babies will teeth for a couple of months before the teeth break through the gums. give her some tylenol. may be she is hungry and needs some thing else besides breast milk to eat. i think if you let her sleep in the crib she will sleep better. elevate the mattress on the side where her head is so she does not get acid reflux issues. let her cry so she can learn to self soothe herself. if she does that chances are she will sleep better. if she sleeps better,you sleep better. why torture yourself. sleep deprivation is not good for either one of you. she will be fine.

My dd started her sleep issues at 4 months - the 4 month sleep regression. We discovered that many of her issues with sleeping revolved around development. It was at that time that she was mastering how to roll. So she would practice it at night and wake herself up. We thought that she was hungry because she would eat. Nope, she was just waking herself up. Unfortunately, there wasn't a whole lot we could do. What made it easier though was getting to her as soon as she woke up because then she wasn't as awake, so it was easier to get her back down. We would give her a paci and lightly bounce her mattress to calm her down. We didn't pick her up so that she would learn to resettle herself.

I'm sorry that you're going through this. I totally understand your frustration and exhaustion.

M.,

What you are describing is something that many, many, many parents see. If you google 4 month sleep regression, you'll find a bit more info. Usually it happens around 19 weeks, and unfortunately, again, around 9 months. My dd went from 1-2 wake ups to waking almost every 1.5 hours. It was definately a rough patch for us.

as has been mentioned, there's a lot of stress on having our little ones sleep through the night, but the vast majority just dont' do it. I agree with you that crying it out is not a real solution. Dr. Jay Gordon has some great info on sleep out there, and even he advocates waiting until 1 year as the absolute minimum before trying to really sleep train your child.

Please, please take any info you get on starting solids with a grain of salt. Studies have disproven the "solids make them sleep through the night" theory. And yes, solids do keep them full "longer" because they're not capable of processing them at a young age. We held off starting solids until DD was 6.5 months old and her sleep was just as bad then. Developmental signs of readiness for solids include ALL of the following:
1. at least 6 months of age
2. able to sit unsupported
3. development of pincer grasp
4. loss of tongue thrust reflex
5. Active interest in eating, not just watching you or looking interested. You want them to be actively trying to grab food and cram it in their mouth.

You mentioned the Bjorn, have you looked at any other carriers? we have a great babywearing group in Wilmington that meets the 2nd thursday of the month. I found wearing DD helped me get her down for naps a lot easier.

We're still working out what works best for us at night. DD will be 18 months in a few days and we have good periods and bad nights. She sleeps in a crib in our room due to space issues in the house, but we hope to move in the not so distant future.

Hang in there mama, this too will pass. When we have a really bad night, I try to remind myself that in a year or four I'm going to have forgotten this and be missing my tiny little one.

S.

Food food food! The key to sound sleeping at night, from 3 months on, is eating to capacity all day. Not just right before bed, but all day. When a baby's body is truly satisfied, they will not wake up all night. Your baby may seem fine and not be crying, and you may be feeding her on a schedule, but believe me, she CAN eat more. Offer her extra feedings. Feed her until she doesn't accept food all day long. After a few days of increased eating, it will register in her system that she's full, and she won't wake up.

Word of caution: You have a lot going on at night with the chairs and the bouncers and the co sleeping and nursing and rocking. Rightly so to sooth her in her new waking. But WATCH OUT! Just remember, that what ever system you get her used to is going to become a habit for her, and she will have a hard time breaking it. Keep in mind that her reflux has passed, and try to keep her sleep needs simple. I respect your decision to not want use the Cry It Out method. (I like to call it the "Allow your Child to Fall Asleep Happily And Securely On Their Own Even if it Means a Bit of Crying in the Very Beginning Method". Just to make it sound less cruel :) My kids have both slept happily alone in their rooms since birth and happily stuffed all night since 3 months. We've always just walked away at bed time. Actually, my daughter woke up hungry twice a night until she was one before I learned the eating trick, which cured it. They love going to bed.

We also had success with the sleep, eat wake, routine during the day in "On Becoming Baby Wise" the book for babies, so she wasn't eating in order to sleep.

But even if this isn't for you, try to tone down the night rituals while you're daughter is still young enough to adjust easily. Co sleeping is often responsible for kids feeling like they need others sleeping beside them in order to feel secure. This can last years! My friends slept with their 4 year old! First things first - FEED her more all day long, not just right before bed, this may solve the whole problem. Good Luck!

There is also a very good chance that she is getting some teeth as well and they may be bothering her at night. You should check out the La Leche Leagues website they have some great recommendations for starter foods. They recommend NOT starting with cereals as they can cause a lot of irritation and really don't have a lot of nutritional value. Giving mashed bananas and some other fresh non citrus fruit are a much better start than cereal.

I have a son who is now 9 months old and is just now sleeping throughout most of the night (he still wakes once in the early morning to nurse). Have you began to give the baby any cereal yet? I know my son had acid reflux really bad and could never make it through the night until we started cereal. I know a hungry belly would wake me up too. Try giving cereal about an hour before bed and then nursing her to sleep. This was a big help for me and hopefully it will work for you too!

I feel your pain. My 6 month old started having problems sleeping around 3 or 3 1/2 months- especially with naps. I can count on one hand the number of times my she has slept through the night and until a few weeks ago her naps were always only 30-45 min. I can't remember the last time I had a full night's sleep (it was probably before I was pregnant!!) I am not able to do the "cry it out" method either- it makes me nauseous and so anxious to hear her cry. I have bought almost every book available on sleep and tried various methods (except for cry it out). What ended up working was just doing what I was comfortable with (rocking her to sleep with her pacifier) and giving it time. Around 5 months she started napping better, though she still gets up twice every night to eat. Then, recently she had some medical testing done and I think she might be teething and now we are back to the short naps again. So, basically what I'm trying to say is I think it just takes a lot of patience and time to let her body mature into better sleep habits.

Your daughter may be getting hungrier during the night b/c she is bigger and breastmilk isn't enough to keep her full for long. I found that my daughter wasn't getting enough before bed when she nursed and would wake up so much b/c she was starving. We started giving her a bottle of formula before bed to "tank her up" and she will usually sleep about 6-8 hours after her bottle, though she still does wake up twice every night to nurse (and she is for real hungry). She has been on solids for a couple weeks now and honestly, I see no difference in her sleep (and she is a good eater!), so I don't think you need to start solids before you are ready.

Also, you said that she is all of a sudden a light sleeper and is in a co-sleeper with you. It is possible that if she is a light sleeper just being in the room with you and hearing snoring, rustling of the covers, etc. is enough to wake her up. You could try putting her in her own room to see if that helps. I also recommend a white noise machine to help drown out other noises.

As far as your sanity, since you are staying at home, try to sleep when she naps- at least after the really tough nights. Also, if it's possible get someone to help you a couple nights a week (I elicite my husband's help on the weekends since he doesn't have to get up for work). I'll sometimes go to bed early and let him give her a bottle. Also, if your daughter is just looking for comfort, someone else may be able to rock her or walk around with her to let you get some rest.

Good luck! Remember this too shall pass and she will grow up way too quickly so enjoy every exhausted second.

My son has had the same problem. I can't quite figure out what the change was either!

Some possible "upsets" though seem to be: teething, growth spurts, introduction of solids. If it is any of these things, she will probably be back to her normal sleeping schedule in no time!

But, if you find any sleep-inducing methods that seem to work, please send them my way too!!

Good luck!

Here is what I wrote to Ashley R. who also has a baby the same age as yours having "sleep problems." She was asking if it was normal, but I thought what I wrote to her might be helpful for you as well:

[Totally normal! Babies brain structures, on average, aren't designed to sleep through the night at this age. American or western culture babies tend to sleep through the night because they drink heavy formula or their parents let them cry it out. Trust your gut. Don't let her cry it out. It is not psychologically healthy for you or for her. And that strong lungs from crying thing? Total BS with absolutely NO biological basis. Old wives tale.
The first stage of psychosocial development is "basic trust vs. mistrust" (approx. the 1st yr of life). If your baby "cries it out" she learns that the world- and her biggest source of support, mommy- is not to be trusted because support is not consistent. This may cause difficulties with attachment and behavioral problems later on. Believe me, a child who views mother as a secure and loving "home-base" to return to, rather than punitive and unavailable, as they explore the world will have a much easier, and well adjusted toddlerhood and "terrible two's".
Try to hold and soothe your baby when she is crying- you are doing more than you know by doing this. You are teaching her how to soothe herself (how would she know how to do this if no one shows her? Its not instinct- except for sucking! so let her do that too.), you are also helping her brain to organize itself and grow proper and strong neural connections. Sometimes children who have difficult temperament (cholic-like behavior) have difficulty organizing themselves, making sense of their new world, and regulating their mood states. Parents help them to do this through holding and soothing. Children who don't have this holding and soothing when they need it have trouble developing organized brain structures, which is often later diagnosed as ADHD.
So don't take this as a license to overindulge- take time to care for yourself and remember that appropriate "doses" of frustration are healthy are healthy. The just "good-enough mother" is the best kind!
Good Luck!]

M.- Babywearing is awesome. I wore my son in a sling for a year or more. He had a very difficult temperament. The only time that he didn't scream was when he was snuggled up close to me in the sling. It was so hard that I nearly had a nervous breakdown. But I did everything that I have shared here with you and Ashley (and lots and lots of research) and now my son is almost three and is absolutely amazing- curious,engaged, and well-behaved. You will get through this and you will have a wonderful young child who has the capacity for empathy for others because empathy was provided to her at a such formative time.
Good luck to you! (and read "Our Babies, Ourselves")

Hello...A few thoughts...one, she has reached the age where she may be trying or already rolling over. Once they can do this, they like to practice it and it wakes them up.

Two, is she teething? I found that with my two, whenever they behaved similarly to the way you describe, they were either teething or they were full of wind/gas. Both will cause pain and and discomfort and make they baby wake up...without words to tell us they are hurting...it gets a bit frustrating at times.

Hope this helps.

I would seriously consider whether or not she is ready for cereal with her last feeding before bed. She could be hungry and the breast milk isn't keeping her satisfied as long the bigger she gets.

Good Luck!

Hi, M.!
I know that can be frustrating. It sounds like she may be developing some separation anxiety or may be a touch of a High Need Baby.
Have you ever looked on www.AskDrSears.com ? It's a very informative site. If she's the kind of baby that really needs to be held a lot, that's classice "high need" and "The Fussy Baby Book" and/or "Attachment Parenting", both by Dr. Sears would be great books for you to read!

It may just be a phase that will pass quickly too. It's so hard to tell with babies!
Good luck!
A. Patterson
www.ThingaMaSling.com
Custom-Created Baby Slings

You were lucky she was sleeping through the night before. You shouldn't expect your baby to sleep through the night until they are much older. "Sleeping through the night" also doesn't mean the same thing in relation to what you would consider sleeping through the night. If a baby sleeps 4 hours at night some ped. docs. consider that "sleeping through the night." Welcome to motherhood....sleepless nights are a given!