Sleep Problems - Phoenix,AZ

Updated on September 01, 2008
C.L. asks from Phoenix, AZ
21 answers

HELP!!! My son is 20 months old and still has troubble sleeping. We stared him as a baby cosleeping with us in our bed. He has never learned how to self sooth in order to fall asleep. I started placing him in his crib 2 months ago to cry it out at nap time and it was working. However he now can climb out of his crib. I am stuck and not sure what to do. Nap time and bead time are very challanging around the house. It is like fighting a bear. Any and all suggestions are welcome. Both for nap time and for Night time.

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone for their great advise. We have been trying several different ideas that were given and we have had some success. I also bought a book on toddler sleep that someone suggested. It is a process and will not be corrected overnight. As they say parenting is not a race it is a marathon.
I also wanted to say it is very refreshing to know that there is such a nice support system with other parents through mamasource. I am very impressed and don't feel so alone.
Thankyou again.

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S.L.

answers from Tucson on

I would suggest a completely SAFE and very effective herbal formula called Calmazon - it works with amazing results on anyone whose nervous system NEEDS rest - let me know if you want any more information about it - it really works.

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K.E.

answers from Phoenix on

I love the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. It has suggestions for all kinds of different sleep problems at different ages. There might be something in there that would help you.

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N.J.

answers from Phoenix on

Try playing lullaby music foryour son at nap time and night time that is what I did for my grandson and it worked.

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V.M.

answers from Atlanta on

C.,

We bought a canopy net tent for the crib from Babies R Us, we bought it because our daughter kept getting her little legs stuck between the slats of the crib. But as she got a little older we began to zip it up at night and it also kept her from climbing out, and throwing her pacifiers out of the crib, all keeping us from sleeping.

My daughter is now 3, and we just put it back on the crib for her 7 mo old brother, to keep scorpions from getting in the crib. Fun stuff.

here is a link to amazon to show you what it is.

http://www.amazon.com/Tots-Mind-Cozy-Crib-White/dp/B00014...

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D.W.

answers from Phoenix on

Hello!
We liked this book for these questions. They address sleep issues. Hope it helps!
"Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau"

All the best!
D.

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J.V.

answers from Phoenix on

have you tried other, more gentle, approaches? He is used to being parented to sleep (which is a great thing), and it takes time to learn to do it on your own. Maybe CIO isn't what your little one needs. I would check out these resources:

http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071444912.php
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
http://www.llli.org/NB/NBSepOct05p204a.html
http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detsleepthrough.html

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D.R.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi C.,

When my son got around that age, he started giving us a problem of laying down for a nap. So we would lay down w/him in our bed, close our eyes until he fell asleep. Yah, sometimes we would fall asleep too but it would only be for 20 minutes or so. A little refresher for us. And then we would leave my son to asleep and we would do whatever need to get done around the house during his nap time.

At night time, he didn't like going to sleep alone either. So we did the samething. We put him in his crib & layed in the room or sat on the chair once he was comfortable & starting to fall asleep. At nighttime he was never fully asleep when we would leave the room but we would sneak out so that he wouldn't see us leaving.

My husband & I took turns every night to put him to sleep. Eventually as he got older, he was able to lay down by himself & go to sleep on his own. But in the meantime that is what we did. =)

Not everyone will agree w/this I am sure but it worked for us & we were all happy. =)

Best of Luck!

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K.R.

answers from Phoenix on

You really need to get him a big boy bed. When I first moved my kids into beds they would be up before I could even leave the room. Just don't give up. Start a really good bed time routine with bath and books and wind down time. Let him know that afterwards he needs to stay in his bed. Make the boundaries clear. If he comes into your room at night and you're too tired and just let him stay, then you've lost the battle. Always put him back. He will give up eventually. It will be a week of constant struggle, but he will give up. Another thing I did that really worked was I put a rocking chair in their rooms and I would sit and read until they fell asleep. It worked as long as I didn't say anything to them. They would get so bored they would just fall asleep. Super nanny has some good points of view on this in her book. Hope this helps, just keep working at it. Just think of it... you and your husband can have the evenings to yourselves, let that be your motivation!

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K.F.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi C.,

Since he is climbing out of the crib, I would definately get him a big boys bed, you don't want him falling and getting hurt. Make it exciting and let him go with you. Let him pick out his own bed spread and get him a night light. Make this a very big deal! The main thing is just be consistant. Read him a book and then tell him he must stay in his room. If he gets out just pick him back up and put him in bed and tell him night night. Just keep doing this eventually you will win. It may take a week but hang in there! You can do it! I'm speaking from experience and the main thing I stress-is stay consistant! Good Luck!

Mother of two girls (2yr old & 5yr old)

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D.T.

answers from Phoenix on

the following was from another mom, but it is so good and thorough i thought i would copy it for you:

Well, I am more of an "information geek" than a "try it out" mom. I think the evidence and studies speak for themselves.
Before I list a very few of them, I want to say that every family must do what works for them and there is no perfect way to raise a child.
I also want to urge every mother to do her own research. Be a critical reader! When reading, be aware of who wrote the information you are reading, what their credentials and motives are, and how the author is viewed by his/her peers. There is great information out there, but there are a lot of really bad books, too. Many written by people with little or no training, education, or experience. Anyone can write a book...
I also believe that a mother who mothers by her gut will usually do what is best. Any information that causes a mother to go against her natural mothering instinct is the wrong information for her. Any regrets that I have come from times when I didn't follow my gut.
Here is some of the research that I find helpful:
The studies on cortisol levels in babies while they are crying alone vs. crying in arms are astounding. The levels of cortisol measured in babies crying alone are high enough to cause damage to brain tissue and permanently alter a child's mental function. Clearly, babies are not meant to be left alone to cry.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp
http://home.mweb.co.za/to/torngren/bergman-int.html
The research in the fields of sociology, psychology, and anthropology show us that families around the world as far back as history dates have shared a family bed, breastfed on demand for and average of 4 years (still the current world average), and carried babies or strapped them on during their babyhood.
This body of research also tells us that a child who has his needs met by a single care giver (most optimally the mother) is a more independent, confident child than those who spend time fearing that their needs won't be met or those who are forced to be independent before they are ready.
http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/lauren_lindsey_porter.html
Be sure and check out the sitations on this and any article your read.
Further, this attachment extends to the later parenting, making it easier to parent the child...
Nils Bergman on You Tube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcaMsZrElnE (he has several videos you can watch!)
His book, Hold On To Your Kids is a MUST READ!!!
The Discipline Book by Dr. William Sears
Here is some really compelling research:
Biology gives us a whole body of research on human milk composition which shows us that out of all mammal species, human milk has the lowest amount of fat and protein when compared to other mammal species, here is what that says:
Cache care - These animals must hid their babies and only feed them every 12 hours. They have the highest amount of fat and protien in thier milk. Rabbits, mice
Nest care - These animals have less fat and protien and feed their babies every 4 hours or so. dog, cat
Follow care - These animals have even less fat and protien than cache and nest animals. They feed every 2 hours or so. Zebra, cow, elk.
Carry care - These animals have the lowest amount of fat and protien and feed their infants every 30 to 90 minutes. Primates.
Humans have the lowest amount of fat and protien! What does this say about how our babies should be cared for? How often they should be fed, and what we should expect from them at night?
http://www.llli.org/NB/NBSepOct01p178.html
http://www.aph.gov.au/house/committee/haa/breastfeeding/s...
BTW, new research is now linking colic to babies not being fed often enough and being left alone too often.
http://www.kangaroomothercare.com/whatis03.htm
http://home.mweb.co.za/to/torngren/eng-berg.html
Dr. Sears recommends feeding your baby twice as often and half as much when colic seems to be the trouble. He also recommends holding your baby http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t051300.asp
It is interesting to see the societal influences we have here compared to the rest of the world. We want our babies to be convenient, yet their very make up makes that impossible.
Again, mothers must do what their gut tells them and use information to supplement that wisdom. Don't choose sides, choose your child!
Happy Mothering!! Enjoy your babies

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D.W.

answers from Phoenix on

This is so much easier than cry it out methods (weisbluth and ferber). You might want to look into it.

Google "the sleep lady" and get her book or even look into a phone consult. THey have the book at barnes and noble I believe.

We tried EVERYTHING with our daughter and at nearly 11 months old, I went from nursing her back to sleep 3+ times per night to her sleeping most of the time through the night in a few weeks. There are many suggestions for older kids. It involves some crying, but you are there with your child to help them learn how to sooth themselves and so they aren't scared of being alone. And because you are in the room, when they cry it isn't terrible on you because you can see that they aren't hurt, sick or scared, they are just crying b/c they are frustrated that they can't get to sleep.

Just an FYI. Personally I am anti cry it out and this was OK for me and helped my daughter learn to get a good nights sleep. Good luck.

PS now at 19m she is an excellent sleeper unless she happens to be sick.

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K.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I would suggest a crib tent or replacing the door to his bedroom with a screen door that locks.

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B.M.

answers from Phoenix on

I has the same problem with my baby. We took him out of his bed and put him into a regular bed to reduce the risk of getting hurt. After that we started a very consistent bed time routine with him. We read a story said prayer put him in bed and turned off the light at the same time every night. For the first 3 days we had to put him back in bed at least 15 times before he would stay in bed. Now he goes to bed quickly and easily. We also turned the TV off 1 hour before bed time and had quiet time for everyone.

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J.L.

answers from Phoenix on

HI,
My son started climbing out of his crib too. What we did was buy a tall non-climbable baby gate and put in his doorway. Then we converted his crib to a toddler bed. The rail that came on it to keep him from falling off was too short so we bought one of the rails that you put on a twin bed from Walmart. That worked great because there was just a small hole at the end for him to climb in and out of. He fell asleep on the floor several times by the door but he eventually slept in the bed. Now he is 2.5 and sleeps in his own bed happily.
Hope that helps.

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D.T.

answers from Phoenix on

My friend's son started climbing out of his crib at about the same age, and she got a crib tent, which kept him from climbing out. Around this same age, my son started not sleeping at naps, and would cry a lot during naptime (it was still important for him to have time alone to rest, so we continued to put him down for about 2 hours). We let him take one toy to bed during nap and he would play with that if he didn't need to sleep, and would fall asleep if he was tired. It helped a lot with nighttime sleeping too--if he did not end up falling asleep at nap, he was out within minutes at bedtime. We do not let him sleep overnight with toys (although he has Baby Tad from Leapfrog that plays music when you push buttons). We never co-slept, but my son has some neurological issues and also had a very hard time self-soothing. It took quite awhile, but he did learn and is now very good at calming down. Good luck--sleep issues are tough!

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A.B.

answers from Phoenix on

Have you tried a crib tent so that he can't climb out?

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A.

answers from Albuquerque on

A great book for cosleeping families is The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. There's also a toddler version to check out.

S.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I skimmed through the other responses and it looks like there are a lot of good suggestions for of books to read or sleep training programs to try. If I were you I'd start by running to Babies R Us or Target and grabbing a crib tent to take care of the immediate safety issue of your son getting/ falling in and out of the crib. I got the Crib Tent II when my daughter was about that age because she climbed/ fell out of the crib. I have a video monitor, but didn't feel I could get there quickly enough to prevent injury. The tent has been awesome. My daughter is now 2 1/2 and we are just transitioning her to a big bed. Everyone is different, but my suggestion would be to keep him in the crib as long as possible before switching to a big bed. I put my oldest in a big bed right around her second bday and looking back I think she wasn't quite ready. Although she had no problem with the transition itself, she did give up her nap soon after and I think it was related. So, with my second I decided to try everything I could to keep her in the crib as long as possible. I think the $70 crib tent was a good investment because I got several more months of her sleeping in a crib. In any case, if you try the crib tent and give your son a little time to adjust to it and being out of your bed in general and it doesn't seem to be working, then try plan B from the many suggestions. It's a quick, relative inexpensive (compared to buying a new bed) first shot. Good luck :)

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M.W.

answers from Tucson on

If you go to onestepahead.com you will see a crib tent. Its about a hundred dollars(was when i bought it 2 years ago). It is so worth it. My daughter would lower herself out of the crip with a bang, and I lived in a two story. It got to were I would have to stay upstairs when she napped because i was so afraid she would fall and get hurt or worse try going down the 14 stairs to a concrete floor. I bought this tent and expressed it to my house, it was heaven sent. It is soft mesh material that they can see through and stand up, they just cant get out. My daughter would actually cry if i didnt zip it up she loved it so much. I think it became a form of security for her. I hope it helps.

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E.O.

answers from Tucson on

I have 8 month old twins, and one doesn't like to go to bed at night. I have gotten to where they will cry themselves to sleep at naptime, but night time is the difficult one.

I purchased one of the light up aqariums that hang on the side of the crib from Baby's r us. It plays music, the fish inside moves, and the blue and green lights are soothing for the baby.

I also give them a nice soothing warm bath using lavendar and chamomile baby bath, and I use the lavender and chamomile lotion to do a massage after the bath. It helps.

Your son is a little old to do my last trick, but I usually give them a warm bottle afterwards.

A.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I agree that we all need to do what feels right in raising our children -- "follow our gut" per se.

That said however, WE ALL NEED TO GET SLEEP...including our babies! It is mindboggling to me that anyone would think that cramming an entire family into one bed would give anyone a good night's sleep! I did it for a few months out of desperation and I nearly died of sleep exhaustion -- and I wish I was exaggerating! We were ALL miserable!

The book that saved my life and helped me understand sleep patterns is called "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Dr. Richard Ferber. I have 3 fantastic, happy, well adjusted boys (ages 10,8 and 4 1/2) and not one of them shares a bed with me! If fact (ironically)...my one child that is the MOST challenging to deal with of all three is the one that co-slept with us for 6 months. I know it's only one example, but enough for me to have learned my lesson.

Dr. Ferber teaches in very understandable language why we ALL (not just babies) sleep the way we do -- it's all about sleep assosiations. We had to "teach" our then 3 year old how to stay in bed as well and did so by following the counsel that Dr. Ferber gives in his book. I recommend it to any mother who is ready to get educated on sleep patterns, get a good nights sleep without feeling GUILTY for wanting to get a good nights sleep, and have a child that sleeps well and is happy because they've also had a good night's sleep.

I'm expecting my 4th child in October (another boy!) and I have no doubts that with my help, he will be as good a sleeper as his big brothers - and won't be insecure, unhappy or have low self esteem because I didn't let him sleep sucking on my breast all night long.

Good luck!

A.
(SAHM of almost 4 boys)

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