Sleep Problems

Oh wow, poor thing (& Mommy). Sounds like she may be going through some separation anxiety and/or she's cutting those 2 yr molars. I think you are doing the right thing if that helps at all. You are not creating a bad habit that you will later have to break and I give you tons of credit for that. Does she have a teddy bear or any sort of comfort item? A lot of little ones like those little glo-worms. It plays soft, sloothing music and lights up. If she doesn't have something like that in her crib with her maybe you could at least try giving her a comfort item like that? Best wishes to you.

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She sounds like she going through some normal night time fears. Her being scared and wanting comfort is a real need. I know that is seems like she only needs to be picked up when something is "wrong," but I think she is trying to tell you that there is something wrong, even if you can't see a visible problem. Emotional needs are just as important as the physical needs, so I would suggest that when she cries out at night for you, you hold her and comfort her. I know this is a lot of work for you, and you don't want to start her on a bad habit, but she needs her mommy and by showing her that you will be there when she needs you, she will be more confident and able to get through her anxieties.

If you pick her up and rock her to sleep or even take her to your bed, you are not starting a bad habit. You are just taking care of your baby. Follow your heart on this one. You know insitinctively what she needs, and just don't be afraid that you are going to screw up just because you aren't "toughening her up" by letting her cry.

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oh, poor sleepy mommy! It sounds like to me that she might just be getting to much sleep, so when you put her into bed she just isn't tired yet. My oldest did this to me years ago too. I started putting him in bed at first 2 hours later, and he woke at the same time, then transitioned to 1 hour later, because mommy wanted her quiet time. It worked for him, no more waking in the middle of the night and no fuss when he went to bed. I wouldn't take out the nap because at that age they still need a break in the middle of the day (and so does mommy). Somthing else I did was cut out that quiet time routine right before bed, I just let him run it out instead. We would race around the kitchen thru the dinning room and into the family room, and back again. We did this so many times I was dizzy! But it sure got him pooped right before bed for a good night sleep! Good Luck!

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Hi G.,

Boy do I feel for you!! My 2 yr old son went through this phase- thankfully it was just a phase!! I think you are doing the right thing by not taking your daughter out of her crib and rocking. That will only prolong the situation. My suggestion is to do your usual bedtime routine but add on sleeping on her floor for a couple minutes. My son seemed to need that extra "Mommy is here" time. Now he says "Sleep for two minutes?" and I lay on his foor then sneak out. This is an option for middle of the night too. Just bring a pillow with you :) Also, does she have a night light? That may help. Do you keep her door open, maybe with the light on in the hall? My 4 yr old did well with extra light and his door "wide open, Mommy!" He likes to hear my husband and I as he falls asleep. I hope this help! Hang in there and remember it won't last forever!

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OK, so our technique we mostly made up ourselves and got a little off of Super Nanny. It takes some time, but we really wanted to reassure our son that we were there for him, that he would be safe on his own, that he could trust us. Did I enjoy it - No, but, a lot of sacrifice is involved in parenthood and I really love this child and want him to be a secure person. This was the least harsh solution I could figure out for a little being who had only been walking for about 10 months and didn't really speak that well, and who was so obviously miserable and afraid and lonely.
With our now 4 year old - who can now sleep through thunder storms - we slept in his room with him. We went to bed at the same time. He was in the crib and we were on the floor up next to the crib - we (my husband and I) took turns. When he woke in the night we were there immediately. That reassured him. We never took him out of the crib, but would stick our arms through, reassuring him, but also emphasizing that the sun was down, it was night time and time to sleep.
So, we would put him in his crib, then sit down right next to it, on the floor, reach throught the bars and stroke his back and sing to him and reassure him. When he fell asleep, we would be right next to the crib, so if he woke, we were right there.
When the middle of the night wakings subsided, when we went to sleep in his room, we started to retreat. One night we'd be right next to the crib, the next a littl bit farther away, the next night we'd be in the middle of the room, the next in the doorway, finally in the hall way.
This technique worked for us in that it really seemed to cut the hysteria of the night wakings and cut out the fear of bed time. For a long time we still stayed with him until he fell asleep, but now we can just kiss good night and then leave the room!
This worked for our family, because I only had the one child at the time, I could nap when he did in the afternoons. Napping was OK, because I would frequntly run my errands in the morning and he would fall asleep in the car on the way home. I just had to be careful about transferring him to his crib. I paid close attention to the baby monitor and when I heard any noise coming from his room, I was there as soon as he woke up, with a big cheery smile and hug.
Good luck!

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Hi G.,

Our 23 month old son started to cry recently when we put him down in bed at night as well. First night, we tried to let him cry, but I caved and went to him - which ended up a bad night for everyone involved cause he then wouldn't sleep by himself and was somewhat traumatized. The second night, I did check and console, checking in 5 min intervals. It only took 2 checks for him to go to sleep. First 5 min was hard crying, then off and on crying with "Mama come in" type pleads, then after second check, he cried for maybe 2 min, then started saying "Mama coming, Mama coming" calmly, and went to sleep. I think for us, our son just needed to know we were still there. As for night wakings, he did that a couple of months ago, but instead of doing check and console, we just went and slept with him in his room cause we were too tired from the new baby. After a few times, he stopped that too. I've tried CIO without checking in on him, and it makes the situation worse in his case. Check and console has been the method that works for us. Good luck!

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Sounds like you child --- wants and needs your Love- & comfort---- holding her and comforting her while in her bed room, next to her bed, wont hurt. Hold her for awhile then explain to her it is Now time to go to bed. As for the comfort item, My grandson didn't have one either, then we went to build a bear, he picked it out, stuffed it, kissed its heart before they put it in and sewed his bear up. He won't go to bed now with out his bear. Its special to him and I think part of the reason was he had a part in making it. Also some children don't need as much sleep, maybe keep her up for just a little longer at night. Start a new habit like reading a book just before she goes to bed or even a more rigurous active to tire her out. Good Luck

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I have been having the same problem with my 4 year old, but I can't let her cry it out because she wakes up my 6 1/2 year old! In the past week, I have put a nightlight in her room and also bought a sound machine from Linens N Things. She loves the sound of "rain" so that is the one I put on for her and keep it on the whole night. I am also giving her a treat (toy) if she sleeps through the night for 3 nights in a row. I want to say it is working but I'm not sure because it has been hit and miss. Last night she slept through without waking up until 7am this morning! Good luck.

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I'm so sorry to read your troubles. It's so hard to hear them cry and you feel so helpless. Especially when you're both sleep deprived. Sleep is so important for the both of you.

Does she have a bed time routine? I swear by my daughter's routine. I try to make sure no tv at least 1/2 hr before bed time. This time is usually play time: sing songs, dance, read books, ... whatever. Then I tell her we need to get ready for "nite, nite" so it's time to take a bath (sometimes whether she needs it or not). After bath, I speak to her in whispered tones always very softly letting her know it's time to settle down and then I put lavender lotion on her. Then scent is suppossed to help calm them down, whether this is true or not I don't really know, I just know what's working for my daughter. Then I tell her it's time for "nite, nite" and we go into her room and with the lights low we sometimes look at a book or I'll just rock her and speak softly about the things she did that day. Now, I will say she has a dolly and blanket that she's very attached to that she's holds onto immediately after her bath and that helps a great deal. The build a bear idea may be a good one to try to get her attached to a "friend" to go to bed with. Then I let her take a book or some small favorite toy to take to bed with her to help her relax while she's trying to go to sleep. I do the same thing when I go to bed: I read a book to help me get sleepy. Then I kiss her good night, tell her I love her and that I'll see her in the morning and I leave. She eventually puts herself to sleep. Sometimes she's asleep in 10 min, sometimes an hour. But she doesn't call for me. This is a routine she's had since infancy. You might want to consider picking up a book titled "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". It helped me to better understand her needs and what was happening with her.

All in all, I think a consistent bedtime routine and comfort items, whatever they may be, are keys to smooth bed times. Also, don't stop nap time!! Sleep begets sleep! I swear my daughter sleeps better at night when she's had a nap, even if it was only for 1/2 an hour. And if she doesn't sleep during nap time, she at least needs some quiet time ... and so does mommy.

Anyway, I hope this helps.

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I ahve the same proble as you G., But i have a 23 month old who is excatly like you daughter. does not want to sleep in
his crib.CIRES,CIRES, for nap or or night time. And will cry for two hours, OR MORE. Then after all has failed will throw up. Leave the door open soft music on does not work. Calls me from his room says mama up, MAMA, DADA, also, check up on him every half an hour or so, to make sure he is okay. "still cring" the will fall asleep sitting up. He will sleep for about a good hour or so. Then continue his crying. " i will say there is newborn in the house but, my time is equaql with them. " him more so." Seeked helped from doctors NO help. They may tell me he is to young not ready.also, they told me when he is hungry he will eat. well that did no work for me be becz he lost three pounds in three days. So, now i he sleeps next me on the bed wait for him to fall asleep the go and do my stuff. And eating still spoon feed my me smahed.
So, i feel AND UNDERSTAND your pain.

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I have had problems with my kids, my daughter is a bad sleeper. But she may be ready for a todler bed. When I finally decided to get one for my daughter that really healped because she got to pick it out, we got Dora. She was excited to go to bed. Maybe you could add a special charater or animal that she only sleeps with. 2 year old love stories, find one or make one up about a special bear or whatever that sleeps with you and protects you all through the night. My daughter loves care bears, bedtime bear has helped us through a few nights. They also go to Dr. appts when they have to get shots. Don't under estimate the power of a good story and a stuffed animal! Good luck.

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My DD did this when she was younger (she is now 5)....can it possibly night terrors or nightmares? Teething could certainly be a culprit...she could be getting molars in about now. I felt like I never knew what was happening (she did this 2 years in a row with no explanation but it always the same time of the year). I would go in and check on her, make sure all was fine then I did let her cry it out too. She was also never "attached" to anything but me, so I slept with a receiving blanket for a couple of days, then gave it to her and told her that when ever she felt like she just needed mommy to give her a hug then give the blankie a hug. It seemed to work. I know its tough but it does get better. Good Luck.

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Have you tried maybe a night light and some music. She might be scared of the dark or maybe had a bad dream. I play baby einstein music in the background for my lil guy all night long and he sleeps great. It might be worth a shot. Good luck:)

have you had her ears checked for infection? my kids cry at night when their ears are infected.

Good luck

I am sorry, G., being an Occupational Therapist, and a mother, I don't think letting her cry for 2 hours is healthy. If you have tried comforting her, and you say there isn't anything wrong with her, fever, etc.--perhaps you should consult your pediatrician. My prayers to you.

PS. MY BELIEF IS A BABY/CHILD DOES NEED EXTRA COMFORTING DURING TEETHING, AND PERHAPS A HOMEOPATHIC CHOICE--I USE
CAMILIA.

Also, my son, 18 months, left his crib to a new bed so long ago--maybe she does need her own toddler bed--just work with her slowly and lovelying. My son crawled out of his crib at 10 months--yeah, sounds crazy, but it happend.

Crying for 2 hours is a bit much. She probably feels like she is alone. My recommendation is to do a little role playing. Buy her a baby doll if she doesn't have one herself and teach her that sleep is important and that she has to lay there quietly while the baby falls asleep. If she gets up saying that the baby is asleep or something then you just tell her that the baby will wake up if she's not there. Just play with this idea to tailor your daughter's personality.

Hi G.-
We have a just turned two year old girl and we went through a couple of stages like this too- just anout 2 weeks out of the last one. We had had no problems with sleep beforehand either. All I can say is it probably is just a phase- I think its like they realize they can keep themselves awake or think that they are missing out on something by being in their beds. I did the same things you did and was very conscious of trying to not establish bad habits. My husband had a harder time- he'd bring her milk and let her play downstairs for a little while (I know- I'd get so mad, but I figured he was dealing with her, so it was his problem that he was creating). He did learn that she just was pushing her boundaries and seeing what she could get away with. We did start pushing her bedtime back from 7:30 to 8:00, and she gets up about 45 minutes earlier than she used to. So, maybe is a physical thing- they may need less sleep now?? I don't know- just hang in there and keep being consistent!!