Sleep Over - Landenberg,PA

I only allow one friend over at a time - especially for a sleepover (and we have a fairly large house with a finished basement). I find that when there's just one kid over, things are calmer...no arguments, etc.

5 kids sounds like a full slumber party....I told my dd I just couldn't handle that!

2 kids max around here. Drama is kept at a minimum. We have the kids stay in their room unless they are eating or want to hang out with us.

You should be happy that your daughter WANTS to bring her friends to her house. This says that she is comfortable in her own home as well.

So what if 2 of the girls are wealthy and have cleaning ladies.. That has nothing to do with you and your home.

Of course let them come over. Why not? If you choose not to open your home and yourself to her friends, then your daughter will be sleeping over at her friend's houses and when that happens, you won't know what they are doing.

I LOVED it when the girls stayed at my house. I had the go to house and they had the entire upstairs to themselves. Do NOT just retreat to your room and let them go. It is imperative that you do periodically check on them to make sure they are not doing something stupid. I caught 1 girl disabling a window alarm and she was actually going to try to sneak out by using a sheet from the 2nf floor which could have been a disaster. So always be aware of what they are doing in parental mode... not friend mode.

As for food, pizza is good. Have some snacks, drinks, let them know the house rules. Most of the girls who stayed here slept in until their parents picked them up around 10. I always had cereal and bought donuts a lot as well. It was common for our house to have a house full of girls on Friday and Saturday night.

This is a critical age where it is important for you to be in touch with what is going on in your 13 yr old's life. Keep your communication lines open, let them sleepover and have fun.

Let her.
Let her do this, before she gets older and no longer even wants to do anything at home.
Let the girls come over.
Interact with them too, don't just hide in your room. You don't have to "get away from them." Interact with them.
Take lots of photos for the memory book.
And let them have fun.

And yes, if your daughter's friends comes over, then you... will be able to observe and know her friends, better. And know what kind of group she hangs out with etc.
My parents did that.
They let my friends come over all the time when I was growing up.

Doesn't matter what kind of house you have or the size or the richness of it or not. Growing up I had all kinds of friends and they came from all kinds of homes. My kids, have all kinds of friends and they come from all kinds of homes too. Some are rich. Some not. So what. They all are nice friends and are not stuck up and they go to each others homes and its not a problem.
Then, some parents will NEVER let their kids' friends come over to their home. Ever. At all. Because, they are too shy about it. Or whatever reason.
But then their kids grow up knowing that their parents will never let, their friends come over. And they get embarrassed.

oh yes, please let her. the economic standards that plague parents don't really apply to kids. due to circumstances i got to go to school with a lot of really, really wealthy girls, but it wasn't until we were young adults that it thunked home to me. when we were kids, even young teens like yours, it was just each other's houses.
you can retreat to your room to escape the noise and giggles, but don't be too troll-y! you'd be surprised how much fun it can be. naturally you don't want to join in per se (and you'd cramp their style) but don't actively avoid them either. it's awesome in many ways to be the house where the kids gather, even if you are naturally solitary.
:) khairete
S.

yes-it is an opportunity.

Definitely say yes to this. You want them comfortable at your house. Or when they are 15 and dating you will wonder where they are and what they are doing. Don't assume just because the one girl is rich she won't like your house/lifestyle. Growing up I lived in the kind of house you describe. My mom was from the south and cooked southern style foods. Beans and cornbread, casseroles etc. I had a rich boyfriend his family had the fancy house, housekeeper etc. He loved it at my house. He could kick off his shoes and relax.

How to handle it. Pizza, or spaghetti sounds great. Some chips or popcorn and stuff to drink for later. And some cereal or eggs for breakfast. Don't make a big production. But do go in and out of the room. Pop your head in and say does anyone need a blanket etc. And make the rules clear to your daughter ahead of time. No one leaves once they get there. Lights out at "x" time. And the biggest rule of all at our house was any question asked of me or hubby with a gaggle of kids looking on was an automatic no!

You can't control other peoples' choices or lifestyles, only your own. There will always be families who are "richer" than you, or more permissive, that's just a fact of life. You shouldn't let your insecurities get in the way of your daughter having a healthy social life.
Having said that, I HATE girls' sleepovers at this age, so I feel your pain! Still, I would let her do it. Lay down some ground rules and make it clear that having sleepovers in the future completely depends on how well she and her friends behave this time.
Open a bottle of wine and curl up with a good book or movie :-)

My favorite house to hang out at when I was an early teen was the house of a friend who was borderline poor. Two bedrooms, living room, kitchen for a family of 5 - even had a room in the house (not used) with no floor, literally dirt. We weren't well off by any means, but were doing much better than my friend's family. I loved it there! The parents were always nice and welcoming, it was a fun house. Don't let your perception of how they will see your house influence your decision. I would invite them all, 5 friends makes for an even 6 which is a good number so no one gets left out. I wouldn't worry about getting away from them, join in the fun, but give them space if they need it by going to your room for a little while.

I say you let her do it. We have an average home and have friends with larger and smaller homes. The size of the home has nothing to do with the parenting styles, so that confuses me.

But I would let her have it. The last time we had all 3 kids with friends over (a total of 7 kids) we made a taco bar for them. It was a HUGE hit. We had taco shells, burritos, tortilla chips for nachos, etc. The kids LOVED making their own taco's and it was easy and cheap. WAY cheaper than ordering pizza for that many people.

We also have a finished basement with plenty of activities for the kids, so they spent a lot of time there, but most of the time was either in the office or in my daughter's bedroom. The boys stayed in the basement. If they wanted to be in the living space of the family, I'd either hang out there with a book or head to my room with the door open so I could still hear them.

Go for it though. I think it's GREAT she wants to invite 5 friends over.

I have spent many an evening in my room because one son has his friends in the living room and the other has his in the rec room. If you have a tv in your room watch a movie or two, or read a good book. Check on the kids periodically to see if they need anything. I enjoy having a houseful of kids and getting to know my kids friends better. The girls are 13, so they should be able to clean up after themselves before they go home.

I recall going to modest homes and fancy homes for sleep overs. Both were fun. The more I liked the girl made it more fun vs. how rich she was.

My kids are still young so i am involved in what we do when kids come over to play. I am guessing the girls have their own ideas (nails and talking about cute boys). I think i would monitor to make sure they were not doing anything online (my personal fear) that is not allowed.

Better at your house than somewhere else. Yes go hide in your room but keep checking on them. Pizza, soda junk food sounds like a perfect night for 13 year olds.

I'd rather have a bunch of girls over at my house where I know what is going on than have my daughter at someone else's home where I don't know what they are up to.

And your right - it is her home, too. So have the party. It's just one night. Go to your room, watch TV, read a book.

The more you allow friends to hang out at your home, the more they will want to. Be the house that the kids want to go to.

I would let her do it.

Our oldest son is almost 16, and he has a group of friends that sleep over at each other's houses often. Two of the boys are quite wealthy, one of them doesn't have as much money, and we're in the middle. None of them care; they have a great time together wherever they are, and my husband and I have enjoyed getting to know them through the years.

I hope that if you decide to allow her to have the sleepover that she has a great time! :)

My daughters always had groups of friends over for "parties" or sleepovers. I usually order pizza or prepare some food and then go and hang out in my room. Every hour I would come out and just check on things.

We were older when we went to sleep overs.
The friend that had them most often would do it when the weather was warm and we slept in sleeping bags on the screened in porch or her Dad would pitch his Army tent in the back yard and we slept there.
We didn't do sleep overs at our house but we had a screened in summer garage room and the whole neighborhood liked to hang out there.
No one got the run of anyone's house, parents were nearby (and told us to quiet down if we got too loud) and everyone behaved themselves.
I'd save it for warmer weather and have them stay outside.
You don't have to feel like you need to keep up with the Joneses.