S.C. asks from Lawton, OK on August 01, 2009
Sleep Issues - Lawton, OK
Oh please- I am in need of some desperate help. My daughter is a year and a half, and a complete joy. A complete joy- until naptime and bedtime. She cries, and fusses and screams for sometimes two and three hours before finally giving in for a nap. And yes- before anyone says anything- she's tired. She's rubbing her eyes, and whining and not interested in playing with anything. She has a naptime routine, and a bedtime routine which I stick to daily. She gets drinks, teething tablets to help her sleep, her snuggly blanket, and I hold her for several minutes while we say goodnight to our animal friends and toys. Once I put her down, that's when the crying starts. I know the problem is that she wants to be rocked to sleep, but she is getting close to thirty pounds and I simply can't do that. Besides that- she's too big for that now. I go in and check on her on occasion, and tell her it's time to sleep... making sure that she doesn't need anything. And I will hold her for a few minutes and then put her down again. This has seemed to work until about three weeks ago. Now naptime, and bedtime are awful, and she'll wake up in the middle of the night and take sometimes two hours or better before falling back to sleep. I am truthfully at my breaking point- my entire day is revolving around her and her sleeping issues. I am a single parent who desperately needs more ideas to try. Please help.
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T.B. answers from Fayetteville on August 03, 2009
I was going to say the same thing as Cherrie C. Don't pick her up and don't talk to her. Just pat her to let her know you're still there and leave--and every time make it a little longer before you go back in there. I have also seen the Super Nanny technique and would def. give that a try but also from the show...don't give in and pick her up just once or you have to start all over. I have three kids and one thing that helped them all at some point was to play a radio/cd softly. For one it helped cover the little noises in normal daily activity but I had also read that when they wake up in the middle of the night and the house is silent they get scared because they think they may be alone. We've done lullaby cds and books on tape, etc. but I always put it on as I went out their room and it helped them know it was bedtime soothe them to sleep. I know it doesn't feel like it when you're exhausted but it will get better! Good luck! :)
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T.B. answers from Fayetteville on August 03, 2009
I was going to say the same thing as Cherrie C. Don't pick her up and don't talk to her. Just pat her to let her know you're still there and leave--and every time make it a little longer before you go back in there. I have also seen the Super Nanny technique and would def. give that a try but also from the show...don't give in and pick her up just once or you have to start all over. I have three kids and one thing that helped them all at some point was to play a radio/cd softly. For one it helped cover the little noises in normal daily activity but I had also read that when they wake up in the middle of the night and the house is silent they get scared because they think they may be alone. We've done lullaby cds and books on tape, etc. but I always put it on as I went out their room and it helped them know it was bedtime soothe them to sleep. I know it doesn't feel like it when you're exhausted but it will get better! Good luck! :)
A.M. answers from Lawton on August 03, 2009
get this book: http://books.google.com/books?id=i0ZplWJ3Qf4C&dq=no+c...
The author has a site here http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/
B.A. answers from Huntsville on August 03, 2009
First of all your baby is not to old to be rocked. One day you will look back and wished you had that time to rock again. Besides you said you recently divorced, this also affects kids too. You may not think at this early age,divorce would, but it does. Plus see if something is going on with who ever is taking care of her while you are at work. It will not hurt for you both to sleep in same bed, aleast for a while. She needs you just as much as you need her. You need the closeness of each other. She will be grown up before you know it, I know. Time goes by really fast! I pray that you trust your motherly self, put your self in your daughters place. God Bless B.
A.M. answers from Oklahoma City on August 03, 2009
I agree with most of the Mom's who have responded. Your sweet daughter will be very happy and rested and so will you once she has the ability to go to sleep on her own. The only way to obtain that skill is practice. I put my 7 month old down and say "night night" and walk out of the room and watch as he gets comfortable and then falls asleep without any fuss. He wakes up happy and we both get great sleep. Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child is a WONDERFUL book. As long as she knows you are still around (checking on her in intervals) and don't pick her up, she will happily go to sleep on her own. She may cry at first but she isn't hurt, she is just frustrated because she doesn't have any experience doing it herself. Hope that helps.
J.H. answers from Oklahoma City on August 01, 2009
I don't really have any advice because I have a 3 year old who recently won't sleep.. But I wanted to respond in some way. I was a single mom for about a year and it was so very challenging. So I know what you're going through.. and then add on not sleeping! I remember those nights well. How long has she been doing this? I would just keep up the routine you have.. is she in a crib? Lay her down, say your goodnights and don't go back in. I think when you go back in repeatedly it makes it worse. Not saying you do that, but that's something I've learned. Once I say goodnight, that's it.. I know he's fine even if he's crying for a few minutes. He will eventually go to sleep. Mamas need their sleep too! Hang in there..
L.S. answers from New Orleans on August 02, 2009
You might try putting her down a little earlier. Yes she sounds tiered but she may be too tiered to be self-soothing effectively.
Also stop picking her up. Once you have made sure she is in a fresh diaper, has a full tummy put her down and make sure she is safe, then walk away. you can go check on her every 15 min., but do not pick her back up. In rocking her to sleep you have been doing the soothing and she is now having trouble learning to do it herself because she expects you to do it.
She will learn if you allow her too.
The same applies at night let her cry a bit if she doesn't settle herself in 20 min or so. go check- fresh diaper- back to bed - once you know she is safe you have to let her cry.
This should resolve itself within the month if you are consistant.
Good Luck!
C.C. answers from Oklahoma City on August 02, 2009
I think the picking her up and holding her a few minutes each time is actually not helping. She seems to think if she crys long enough you will come in and hold her which is exactly what she wants anyway. Just go in, don't say a word, pat her back, lay her back down. The other thing I've seen done on those nanny shows is to sit in a chair or on the floor in her room at bedtime. After you say goodnight you don't say anything else. You stay till she is asleep. The next few days you move the chair closer and closer to the door. Then finally the chair is outside the door. Good luck. I know it's easy to feel like a monster mom when you haven't had enough sleep.
E.B. answers from Baton Rouge on August 02, 2009
You said you were giving her teething tablets before putting her to sleep, from my experience with the teething tablets is it perks my kids up. That could be why she's not sleeping.
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