30 answers

Sleep Hitting

Hi my husband hits and punches me in his sleep, I don’t know what to do about it it happened last night again and left a big burse.
My husband WAS asleep, he kind of has a history of sleep walking and being about to have a full blown conversation in his sleep. This is not the first time this has happened, My husband is very very sorry and try’s very hard to make it up to me. HE WOULD NEVER HIT ME IF HE WAS AWAKE! I just don’t know what to do because it comes on all of a sudden.
Also I asked and he cant go to the Doctor it would mean a instant discharge from the military>>>>My hubby thinks its due to caffine.>>>>>Also NEEDS caffine due to job making him work 12-18 hours a day (military) cant really tell work to not work him so much.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

get separate beds...seriously! You both will sleep much better, and you won't get punched all night long! Separate beds does not mean separate lives. I know a lot of couples that do this, and some even have separate rooms. If you have the means, I would try it. Good luck!

If he is so sorry, then he needs to go to the doctor and/or cut out caffeine. Studies show that caffeine only works for people who are already addicted. I understand the job situation cannot change, so something else needs to change. Either live with it and don't complain, get him to do something about it, or move to another bed.

Well, if he knows what the problem is, but "can't" change it, then what question is there to ask? You're stuck. Maybe you could go sleep on the couch, or see if he would? I definitely think caffiene and/or alcohol aggravate sleep disorders. After my husband stopped working nights in a bar, he never sleepwalks.

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if he is really sorry - he should go to a sleep specialist. St. Lukes has a sleep disorder clinic and they have been very helpful to me in the past (both of my kids have gone). I have a history of sleep walking/talking and so does my husband -- there are direct links to kids having similar issues if one/both parents have them, so be prepared that you may have issues with your kiddos too. My kids issues were worse when not getting enough sleep, so that may be part of the issue. If he thinks it is caffine and doesn't want to see a dr., tell him to completely cut out caffine (totally) for an entire month to see if it gets any better. In the mean time... maybe he should sleep on an air mattress, so you don't get hit.

1 mom found this helpful

I would speak to his doctor immeadiately, he could have a sleep disorder or somethng, I myself in my sleep before i found out that i wasnt breathing at night, would find myself thinking spiders and other creepy crawlers were coming from the ceiling and i would swing and hit and run through the house screaming making sure ever light was on. ONce i went and had a sleep study done they found that it was happeneing when i would go to a deep sleep and forget to breath. and i would panic and freak out. I now have a cpap machine. I would suggest that you talk to primary care doc about a sleep study.

1 mom found this helpful

I would suggest that he go have a sleep study. I attended this coding seminar once where they talked about sleep studies and what they look for. We heard all kinds of these stories. One of them was about a man who was boxing in his dream therefore he was boxing for real. I can't remember the specific reason, but there was something not shutting off in his brain when he went to sleep. I would start with this and go from there. It sounds like he really doesn't know that he is doing it. I wish you the best. God Bless you.

1 mom found this helpful

Sounds like he has a Parasomnia disorder. Parasomnias are a group of sleep disorders that include sleepwalking, abnormal or unusual behaviors or emotions, night terrors, teeth grinding...
I would suggest finding a sleep specialist to have it properly diagnosed and treated as some parasomnias may be linked to neurological disorders. And so that you can continue to sleep in the same bed!

1 mom found this helpful

My husband was also a turbulent sleeper. He would be SOUND asleep and, like your husband, have full conversations, and I woke up with bruises several times. Over the last few years he has started getting better quality sleep, and I have noticed that the turbulence has dropped off. It started when we were trying to get pregnant with DD and started going to bed early to get a full night's sleep. I realized that at the time we were having so much trouble, he was getting maybe 3-4 hours of sleep. About the time he started sleeping a full night, 7-8 hours, it started to improve. This may not work for your husband, but it is worth a try. Good luck!


I haven't read any other responses...
My hubby would periodically kick and hit me in his sleep as well...(also the whole sleep walking thing) then one night he basically stopped breathing. I told him and he finally went to the a "sleep" doctor and went through all the testing, overnight stays...and we found out he had sleep apnea. He now uses a CPAP while sleeping and in four years he has not hit or kicked me.

Very much could be due to caffeine and lack of sleep.

Hope that helps.

I recently heard a radio show addressing this very subject. Your husband could actually be right about the caffeine. It could be altering the physiological make up and distorting the neurotransmitters (dopamine) that diffuse or convey signals passed along in the brain.
In other words, the signals or impulses that dopamine paralyzes during sleep (impulse to walk if you are walking in your dream) aren't getting diffused, allowing him to act out what he is dreaming.
This could be a very dangerous situation for everyone in the household. He could seriously hurt himself or anyone else around. Professional help is NECESSARY.
My question is, who did you ask about him going to the doctor? Did HE tell you it would be an instant discharge or can you find out from another resource if that is in fact the case? Sounds a bit too easy to get out of the military if all you have to do is go to a doctor with sleep issues.
In the meantime, have him cut back on caffeine and find other ways to relax and relieve stress off duty.
If he's not willing to address this at all, he might get incentive from you when you kick him to the couch ;)
Please let us know what happens.
Good luck and may you have peace!

If he is so sorry, then he needs to go to the doctor and/or cut out caffeine. Studies show that caffeine only works for people who are already addicted. I understand the job situation cannot change, so something else needs to change. Either live with it and don't complain, get him to do something about it, or move to another bed.

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