Sleep Help for Nursing Mom

Hi R.,

I am still nursing my 9 month old son and he usually wakes up in the middle of the night for a feeding if he is too hot or too cold. Since they are rolling around a lot at this age and the blanket won't stay on, I usually put him to bed with a t-shirt and a light pair of pajama pants and little socks, no blanket. If it is a little cooler (which it hasn't been lately) I would just make the short sleeve t-shirt a long sleeve onesie or t-shirt. If it is warmer, I can just do the t-shirt, diaper and a pair of socks. I think my guy likes to have some socks on no matter what. :) Now if you notice sweating or irritability when she is sleeping, you may have too many clothes on her. But, my rule of thumb is, whatever I feel comfortable in, he is usually just as comfortable.

Hope this helps. :)

When our son cries out in the middle of the night and we know he's not hungry or wet, we put the pacifier in his mouth and he goes right back to sleep. Works like a charm, and after 3 nights he's doing it much less. We're not letting him CIO, and he loves his pacifier. He's never actually awake when we go in to check on him, he's just crying out.

Good luck.

The Sleep Book by Dr. Sears is a great resource. No one should be saying that your baby should be sleeping through the night by now (every baby is different), and if you're okay with waking with her, keep it up! But if you're exhausted and need a change, there are some really great tips and plans in the book. We got to the point that we could tell that the more I nursed our son, the more he woke up at night (as much at one point as every 30 min!) One of the tips that worked for us was having my husband put the baby back to sleep instead of me. He cried pretty hard at first , and it was really hard to hear it, but it was a lot better knowing he was in the arms of someone who loves him and not crying alone in his crib. If I went to him and didn't nurse him, he would cry harder than he would in my husband's arms. After about 3 difficult wakings, he would go right to sleep with my husband, and woke up a lot less. I really recommend the book. There is a lot of great information in it as well as encouragement to keep loving on your baby when she cries and not let her cry it out alone. We were completely open-minded in the beginning, and did a ton of research on all of the different methods. We came across recent and respected (Harvard Medical School, Yale, Baylor, Penn State, UCLA School of Medicine, Duke, etc.) medical research on infant stress and crying that scared the crap out of us. One study found that CIO babies were 10 times more likely to have ADHD, poor school performance and exhibit antisocial, even violent behavior. We still wonder why no one seems to know this stuff, but it definitely helped us make up our minds. We even gave copies of the studies to our pediatrician and he's changed his sleep training advice! The Dr. Sears methods and philosophy really gave us the encouragement and advice we were seeking, and a few of the medical studies are outlined in the book. I hope it will help you too!

R.,
When my oldest was very young, I was really surprised by how much a short trip disrupted his sleep. We are not strict about routines, but it still took us several weeks of work before he slept well after that. Since then, I only to travel places I really want to go! Keep following your instincts. Baby needs you, as you said. I have no shortcut to share--just a lot of nursing on demand until you and baby return to normal. Also, night waking 2 or 3 times can be considered normal for such a young baby who is not receiving formula. Hang in there.
Amy

This is normal behavior for a 6 month old! Good for you for comforting your baby when she needs it. This culture wayyyy overemphasizes independance at this age and wayyy devalues the need for comfort.

I have always nursed my babies to sleep and have nursed them at night. My older one nightweaned at about 18 months. My 3 year old is a wonderful, well-adjusted, happy girl who now wants daddy to put her to bed.... I think it's better for our children to find comfort in us than in some object somewhere...

Your baby's wants are still your baby's needs at this age. She needs comfort- then give it to her -- and what better way then at the breast.

One thing that has really helped me (a working mom)-- is co-sleeping. That way she can nurse in the middle of the night and I don't really have to wake up fully-- just roll on my side. We both fall asleep at some point and it works great for us.

The No Cry Sleep Solution has some worthwhile ideas but keep in mind that your baby hasn't read the book so your baby may not react the way the ones in the book do. LOL.

Hi R.,
I know how you feel. My son is now 11 months old, still nursing. Every once in a while he sleeps through the night, but usually he wakes up at least once if not twice to nurse for comfort, usually around 1 am, 3:30 or 4 am. After many months, this has become torture for me. I love him and want to comfort him as soon as I hear him cry, but there has to be another way, I could even do nursing once a night but twice is making me crazy.

The last few nights, my husband and I have tried this new method, I do not get up, my husband goes in, offers him a sippy cup and a nook to suck on for comfort, if that doesn't work, he takes him for a drive. Taking him for a drive is 100% effective we've found. It's not fun going for a drive at 4 am, but it's helping to break this cycle and I can't do the cry it out method.

My husband drives our son all the way from Evanston to Lake Forest so he can look at the Ferrari dealership and fantasize! It's his reward and gives him something to dream about when he gets home.

Good luck and hand in there, I know how you feel.
K.

I also did not do cry-it-out, I just couldn't.
I tried a bunch of stuff, and ultimately I found that the easiest solution worked for us.
I just had hubby go in during the nighttime wake ups. That way nursing wasn't an option. My DD is persistent, but she stopped waking up in the middle of the night pretty quickly when she realized that she wouldn't get mommy to come in. Hubby would soothe her, but I guess she decided getting up wasn't worth it without the nursing.
I am not a sleep expert by any means, but my humble advice is I would keep doing what you are doing if it feels right. I always nursed my DD to sleep. I was worried she wouldn't be able to go to sleep without nursing, and people warned me that I had to start letting her cry so she would learn to soothe herself blah blah blah. I think that babies know what they need, I followed her lead and it worked for us. She just kind of hit a stage at about 8 months where she could put herself to sleep without it.
I was blanket paranoid (at 10 1/2 months she still sleeps in a sack) but I did give her a very small stuffed toy. It's one of the bears that comes with the gift cards from Babies R Us...so kinda firm and small enough it would be nearly impossible to smother herself. She loves it, and likes to hug it and rub it while she goes to sleep.
Our routine now is to rock her for 5 or 10 minutes to calm her down, and then I just put her in her crib with her bear and she goes to sleep. Sometimes I can hear her moving around a little, or she will turn her Rainforest soother on, but she rarely (if ever) cries or gets upset now.
She was a horrible sleeper when she was younger, but now she goes into her crib at 7:30pm and she does not get up until 7:00am.
I dunno, I'm rambling...try having dad go in. Babies are smart, hopefully if you stick to that for a week she will catch on and stop waking up.
Good luck!
C.

My son still woke when he was that age to nurse. If you aren't too sleep deprived you can keep doing it. I didn't mind because he would go right back to sleep. At the one year mark (most moms would be mortified) he was still waking up 1x to nurse. I decided that I was ready to sleep through the night so my husband started to wake up with him with a bottle of milk. After about 2-3 nights he stopped waking up. I guess dad just didn't cut it and wasn't worth waking up for. It is a habit at this age but to me it wasn't a hard sacrifice. I am like you and don't practice the CIO method. There are a couple of books that use techniques that aren't CIO so you could try those. I believe the two are: The No Cry Sleep Solution and Happiest Baby on the Block. Even if you continue to wake up with baby to nurse they can still learn to sleep through the night and I nursed my son to sleep and he did learn to go to sleep on his own when he was ready. So don't feel bad for the techniques you are using, she will learn to do all of this on her own when she is developmentally ready.

I have nursed 2 babes for their first year and will nurse my next babe for a year too. Mine were up at least once a night until they were around 9 mo old. After the 10 mo for sure, I cut the night feeding. I did go in and comfort them and lay them down with their lovie and plug (pacifier). May have rocked them a bit, but tried not to make eye contact or say anything to them.

My kids used and still use their lovie, plug, crib bumpers ect... I used those sleep sacks instead of blankets until 6-7 mo of age. After that we used blankets.

Good luck, the end is near!

I know when my child was at the nursinf stage during bedtime i would bath her instead of nursing give her a bottle of formula with cereal and she would sleep all night myabe you could try this for a night to see how it will or if will work for you I would also wrap her in a blanket b/c they say the child will think they are still in the wound because of the warmth and this worked for me

I know how you feel. My daughter is 16 months old and just started really and truly sleeping totally through the night. I also wasn't willing to not comfort her when she needed it. I am pregnant now and couldn't bear to still continue to get up at 2am and at 4 am. I moved her into bed with me and was able to easily sooth her back to sleep within a minute of waking without nursing her and now she will sleep until about 6 or 7, nurse and then sleep for another hour or two. My friend just bought Ferber's book and she is not a CIO fan at all and she says it works with very little crying. Her son is 8 months old. I still nurse my daughter to sleep at night and I see no problem with this at all. I think it's a wonderful way for them to fall asleep, although it's not always the most convenient way if you want to be somewhere else. YOu sound like you're doing great and keep up the nursing! Good luck getting some much needed sleep.

Hard to say but you will have to let her soothe herself to sleep eventually or she will never learn this process.She cant learn to fall asleep without help from you.She will continue this process until you break it
sad but true
good luck

we found that when our first son started waking more for comfort than for food (also after a stretch of doing really well without waking at all), we couldn't do the "cry it out" either. Finally, we tried sending my partner up to him with a bottle (either milk or water, we chose water). If he really needed comfort, he could have it, just not from mommy. After about 3 days, he decided it just wasn't worth the bother!

We had similiar situation. Unfortunately, they just seem to outgrow it. We tried cry-it-out, wait/pat back but the only thing that calmed my twinkies down was to nurse. If our kids woke up before my husband went to bed, he would go in and try and comfort first because if I first when in, they would smell me. And I simply gave in because it was fastest and easiest. And they did outgrow it. It could be that she is teething. So waking up from pain more than anything? Perhaps giving her a teething tablet when this happens or some children's tylenol. You can also try giving her a bottle with water (but if you soley nurse this wouldn't work obviously). I am sorry to hear and I hope she grows out of it soon. :)

Hi R.,
I feel for you--was there myself not so long ago, and have my second due in September! I really love Elizabeth Pantley's book, The No-Cry Sleep Solution. She is very inclusive of all styles of nursing/sleeping in the ways that she guides you toward achieving the sleep for you and your baby that you are looking for. Like you (and me), she is not an advocate of crying in out, as you can see from the title. Good luck, and I hope you get good sleep soon.
P.