Sleep Habits - Derry, NH

Updated on September 24, 2007
J.S. asks from Derry, NH
8 answers

Hi, i have a problem with my daughter's habits. She goes to bed just fine ( in her own bed ) but then around 2am she comes in to my bed and keeps me up all night. She never goes right back to sleep. This is causing a big problem between my boyfriend and I. I'm not sure what to do. Any advice???

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M.H.

answers from Boston on

Hi there. I would say it's probably best if you try to break the cycle and insist on her going back to her own bed. I have a 2 year old who doesn't go to sleep on her own very well. So I just keep putting her back in her own bed. Eventually she stays in her own bed and goes to sleep. Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night and I bring her back to her bed. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help!

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H.M.

answers from Lewiston on

I wonder if you put a mattress on the floor in your room, near your bed, if you would all sleep a little sounder? She would have that proximity to you that she seems to need right now, yet she wouldn't be right on top of you. So much luck to you!
Blessings,
H.

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S.S.

answers from Portland on

wow! i could have writtent that one myself! I to have a 3 year old little girl who goes to bed fine by herself, but ventures into our room about 2ish. she usually does go right to sleep, but she is a wiggler which makes it difficult for me. I asked a pediatrician about it and she suggested thate for starters i take out the night light in her room(if she has one and is resistant to this then make it a gradual take out...get a dimmer one, or move it to the hallway....). she then told me to tell her that when she wakes up and if it is still dark out that she stays in her bed, however if it is light out she may come to see mommy in her room. Its been a week and only one night did she come in and sleep with us(she is sometimes stealthy about climbing into our bed!). It seems to be working for us, good luck!

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P.R.

answers from Boston on

I have the same problem with my 3 1/2 year old son!! It has gotten better thank god but at one point I was getting nightly visits from him.
Here is what helped for us. I never allowed him to climb into my bed. At one point he was waking every night and I would walk him back to bed. Finally I told him he had to walk back to bed on his own. (even though he got a little upset) What really started helping was making a sticker chart. He would get one sticker for every night he stayed in bed. Once he got about 5-7 we would go to chuck e cheese or macdonald's or something like that. That has definitley helped!!!
Good Luck!!

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C.H.

answers from Boston on

I had the same prob. w/ my now 5 yr old. We set up a "special" bed for her on our floor to start, where if she woke up she could come in our room, but was not allowed to wake us, she just had to lay down and go to sleep. It was a little foam couch thing, then to discourage her more, we took that out and put only blankets on the floor, so it wasnt as comfy...the bed sounds better then after a while! As she got older, I would walk her back into her room tuck her back in etc. You just have to keep bringing her back to her room, even tho its tiring! I also say as I tuck her in "what r u going to do if you wake up tonight? Your gonna roll over on your tummy and get cuddly and go back to sleep right?" Then give extra kisses and hugs, she does pretty good with that.

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B.K.

answers from Springfield on

My husband and I just finished going through this! We have had the same problem over the last few months. Last week, I finally said enough is enough. I was crabby during the day, because as much as I hate to admit it, I need my full sleep- waking up in the middle of the night was not letting me get sleep and then having my daughter between us was keeping me up!

What we did- a few nights we just bit the bullet. My husband went up and sat with her while she cried to come down. Eventually she laid down and went to bed. I also went to her room and laid in her bed with her to help her fall back asleep. This took 3 nights- then she started sleeping through the night on her now. We made a HUGE deal out of it the first night- telling her what a big girl she is sleeping in her own bed.

What we found with our daughter is that she was taking naps during the day and sleeping late in the morning, so it was throwing her schedule off. She wasn't tired enough to sleep through the night. We started making a real effort after dinner to run around the yard, jump on the trampoline, ride her bike, something to exhaust her. Now she is asleep by 8pm and we have to drag her out of bed at 7:30am

Good luck!

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C.L.

answers from Boston on

When I first moved in with my boyfriend his daughter did the same thing to us. It is frustrating. The important thing here is to be firm. Let her know that she needs to sleep in her own bed and you will not bend on this. I am very strict with his daughter on this rule. I am up some nights for hours chasing her back to her own bed. It is better now and it only occurs a few times a month now instead of nightly. If she is forcing you to stay awake with her, use that time to keep putting her back in her own bed. She is old enough now to understand some consequences to her actions so you can try mild punishments. For example with us I put up Christmas lights in her room as a secondary night light and I shut them off after two of her visits to my room. She has reccently gotten the point that I mean it and she listens better now. Good luck with it and remember that you and your boyfriend deserve this time alone with each other at night so don't feel guilty about being firm and making consequences for her unacceptable behavoir.

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A.B.

answers from Providence on

I have a three year old boy. My husband is deployed so every time my son would climb into bed I would welcome it. But then I was seeing a habit and he would fidgit in bed and not always go right back to sleep. Sound familiar? I discovered that he had to go to the bathroom. So when he came in I would take him to the potty and put him back in his bed. Worked good for a while, then he did it more often. So now I get him out of bed when I get ready to go to bed (usually a few hours after he does) and whisper in his ear that he needs to go to the potty. I have to practically hold his sleepy body up and even help hold his privates for him, but, he goes every time and now he doesn't get up in the middle of the night and he wakes up dry almost every morning. Hope this helps you out. Good luck!

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