My kids are 8, 12 and 14 and nasty behavior w/o sleep doesn't go away! But your problem is the maturity and reasoning of a 2 year old, and I wish you every strength, because thats what it takes! Especially since you also work, I feel for you. My biggest hurdle is always my anger. And getting frustrated never worked. The book someone mentioned is one I've heard is good. We used "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, And How to Listen So Kids Will Talk" with a lot of success, and a lot of re-reading! I like books because they give practical advice and give me a life-line. As for what worked (and works still), is staying calm, and seeing the situation as objectively as possible. She screams and you respond in an even tone, "I can't hear you when you scream. If you use a quiet voice I will be able to understand" Or "If you continue to scream you'll have to go to the naughty chair" But what I've heard and seen is they really look to you to stay in control, even if they stay out of control. You seem to get that the issues are not anything to do with shoes or TV, etc., but with how she's coping. So if you try to approach it from the angle of teaching her or showing her how to cope, both with your behavior and with stated expectations and reinforcing her good behavior with rewards, it may help you. A good time to talk to her about the need for sleep and the need to not scream, is an evening where she's got a TT fresh in her mind, but is calm. Then you can have a chance of her hearing you, but at 2, it needs to stay simple and will need to be repeated over and over! No way around it. But if you tell her then that the behavior is not going to work and will result in a consequence (and of course the consequence has to fit the "crime" and be consistent and always carried through) and you say it with warmth and care, when it starts to happen and you say, "Remember I said..." and you are still calm and caring, just maybe she'll trigger the feeling she had during that 1st talk. Now, I don't get this right all the time, and now that my kids are older I can reason with them, but there's nothing wrong with telling your child their behavior makes you angry and when your angry you don't always do the right thing. 2 seems so far away for me but you do set the tone for your life of discipline with them, so you are wise to seek the best approach. Hang in there!