Sleep Apnea,,How to Deal with a Relationship and Pain from the Mask.

Hey I think I can help.

Use the adjuster at the bridge of the nose to lighten the tension enough so it's not painful.

Don't give up - I was having heart troubles and noticed them returning when I let my mask get too old and leaky.

If a man is worth his salt - he'll love you no matter what!

Let me know if it helps!
A.

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My husband has the CPAC machine too. It took him some time and a couple different masks to finally get comfortable with it. Don't get discouraged it means life or death for you. If any man wouldn't date anyone with a CPAC machine then he is not worth dating. Any caring person would understand the kind of problem you have. Keep that in mind and go out on dates.

L. B

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My hubby, dad, brother-in-law, and aunt all use a CPAP. The mask SHOULD NOT hurt your face. If it is, please go back to where you got your machine and have them fit you for a new mask...there are lots out there!

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Dear C.,
My husband has sleep apnea, too, and had some trouble adjusting to the mask. Now he sleeps much better. I got tested, too, and was surprised that I had sleep apnea also. At first my husband would tell me in the morning that the mask was not fitting right, as he had heard all kinds of funny noises from me during the night. I went back to the sleep clinic and they showed me how to make it fit better. I have the kind that just fitts over the nose, and it seemed that either it was pulling on the skin under my eyes or going halfway over my mouth. But I finally have it right and am sleeping very well. I just wanted to say that after a while I did not feel self concious any more. My 7 year old granddaughter walked into the bedroom one morning when I was still in bed with the mask on -- and she did NOT run screaming from the room (big grin). She did not seem perturbed at all. And best of all, the wonderful little chihuahua we sleep with is not frightened either. If you find the right man, he will not care about the Cpap either.
Mama D

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My husband has sleep apnea and has had his mask/machine for a year now. He still has problems with it hurting. He's switched masks a couple of times and it gets a little better with the right mask, but still he'll use the mask for a few nights and then need a break and sleep on the couch for a night. If you have the right kind of sleep apnea (obstructive), there is another option that the doctors don't seem to bring up often. There's a minimally-invasive implant that they can put in with an out-patient surger. The implant holds the airway open. My husband is currently looking into that, but in the meantime....

Anyway, it is pretty normal for the mask to hurt your nose and face. You can see if a different mask might not hurt quite as much and you will get used to it to some extent, but it'll never be completely comfortable, in our experience. Good luck with it and I hope you find a way to live happily with the mask....and hopefully won't let it keep you from dating. There are worse things out there than dating someone with sleep apnea and CPAP (like dating someone who snores like a freight train).

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I also have a CPAP machine. My mask hurts like that also and I tried the one that just goes over the nose... it feels like someone putting their knuckles in your nose so it bothers me too. I found that sleeping on my back will keep the mask from hurting but I can't handle sleeping on my back all night. I use the machine from the time i go to bed until I wake up during the night, then I leave it off the rest of the night. My biggest problem seems to be that I breath hot enough in my cool room that there is a lot of condentation (sp) and it makes the mask fill with water which makes me worry about drowning. Anyone else have this trouble?

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C.,
I know you posted an update already but I thought I'd put my 2 cents in anyway....:) My father-in-law, brother-in-law, and mother all have a CPAP machine that they wear at night. Both of my in-laws have the full face mask, but my mom has just the nasal mask. All three LOVE their machines and their relationships are actually better as now both people sleep better! I know that both of my in-laws also had troubles with their first mask but went in for another fitting and now have not had problems. My mom has never had a problem with her nasal mask. As far as dating goes....don't be suprised if the man you find to date also uses a CPAP machine! :) Now that they make them for home use, they are becoming more and more popular!

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I am 60 and was just put on a CPAP also. I got the same feeling. My husband has had one for years, but has had a hard time wearing it. I always thought it was just in his head until I was tested. I told my husband that he didn't ever have to wear his again unless they give him one that is more comfortable. I told the technician that if I had to wear one like they used for the test, it would never get worn. They assured me that there were many types. And there are, you just have to ask for a change. If your company is like mine, you are on a rental until they get you comfortable. They switched me to a pillow model which just means that my nose is covered and the air goes into my nose kind of like the oxygen tubes in the hospital. It is much more comfortable when I get it on right. I still have trouble going to sleep because I constantly have to remember to keep my mouth closed, but I'm managing on that front.

I'm not wearing it right now because I've been sleeping in the recliner awaiting a surgery, but it does help.

As far as the relationship goes, I haven't got much advice. Both of us are in the same boat, so it doesn't really matter. But my prediciton would be that if the relationship was serious, it wouldn't matter.

Good Luck!!!

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Hi C.,

My husband has sleep apnea with a cpap for the past 9 years. He's been through this. First of all, it will take some getting used too; however, it should NOT be that uncomfortable. There are several different mask you can use. I would call the company TODAY and be adamant that the mask you're using doesn't fit properly and that you believe you need something different. They should be able to help you figure this out. This is a common problem and your airways need to be open.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi C. - I used to have sleep apnea. I had a mask that just went over just my nose and it was a lot better then both mouth and nose. I'm guessing to that the mask is not a good fit. You should really go back to the clinic and ask for a different one. My husband just start with his sleep machine and same thing, he wakes up every morning where the bridge of his nose is really red and sore. I keep telling him to go back to get a different mask, but he thinks it will get better with time.
Happy Sleeping and Good Luck.
C.

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Hi C.,
I don't have much personal experience with sleap apnea, though I know of a friend whose husband has the machine you're talking about.

I just want to offer that the right man will love you DESPITE the machine (or maybe even because of it, since it shows that you care enough about yourself to sleep well and safely...). You never know when he might appear, and be just fine with it. Hang in there, and I hope you get the machine/mask figured out!

1 mom found this helpful

I would talk to your Dr., there are different masks that they use now. My husband has one that goes over just the nose. That might help you. How long have you had the CPAC?
Once hubby got used to his, he sleeps really well AND I sleep alot better.

Again, I would consult with my Dr. to see if there are other alternatives.

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It sounds like your mask isn't fitting correctly. You need to go bad to the place you got it and get refitted.

As for the relationship part. My hubby has has his cpap for over 15 years. It is a part of him. Lets just say thloved him before I knew of the machine. I certainly would rather have him use it and have him a lot longer, than have the possiblity of him dying without it!

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There are newer devices out here. Have you checked with the party who did you test? K.

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If there is any pain or marks on your nose from the mask, it definitely isn't fitting correctly! I used to fit people for CPAP masks, and sometimes it looks like it fits well and isn't leaking, but you really can't get an idea until someone tries sleeping in it. Also, there is a good chance you are tightening it too much. The straps should only be tight enough to hold the mask to your face and secure it enough that it won't leak. Besides formerly working in the field, my husband is also an avid CPAP user. I love it because it helps me sleep so much better, his mood is so much better during the day, and in the long run he is much healthier!

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C. - Several people in my family have CPAC machines. If the mask you have is uncomfortable, check with the company you got it from or with a durable medical supply company - there are several different kinds of masks, and you should be able to find one that works better for you. Happy sleeping!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi C., I feel for you I have had my CPAP for at least three yrs now I never did get used to it but I know alot of people that did and love it now because they feel great all day now cause they get restful sleep. I have found a dentest that has a mouth device that I have acually went to for the reason I never got used to to it. Don't give up yet but in time if there is no possible way that you get used to it I would be happy to help you find a dentist in your area that has these devices. If you want to contact me you can find me at my yahoo messenger screen name dt2_psg. If you wanted to call me you could call me at ###-###-####.

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the people that set you up with the machine and fit you for your mask in the first place should be able to check and re-fit and/or adjust the mask when you need as over the years your needs will most likely change. i would start by calling them and asking them what you need to do to have your mask double checked for fit and tell them about the pain and see what they say, then go from there. as for a relationship, sleep apnea is a disease like any other, if a guy would accept you with arthritis or diabetes, y not with this? give yourself time to adjust, then go for it!!
C.

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You should not have to have the mask that tight! Call whoever you are dealing with to get your supplies and get a different one and keep trying until you find one that fits. They may have had you start with a full face one since this is new to you, but a nasal only one may work best for you. They should have fit you with it and adjusted it for you before you took it home to make sure it fit you properly. And don't be upset about the lunesta....I also have a cpap (because of my horrible allergies) and I take my mask off constantly while I am sleeping and I just gave up wearing it because I would take it off in my sleep. My uncle (who is a respiratory therapist) told me to go back to the doctor and get a sleep aid like lunesta so I will be in a deeper sleep and not take it off. I haven't done it yet, but I wish they would have given me that option right of the bat.

My husband has worn a cpap for the last 5 years or so for severe apnea and it has made a world of difference for him! He also took a while to find the mask that worked for him and now that he has a good one it doesn't bother him at all. If you have been wearing one for a while and you notice that you need to keep making it tighter it most likely means that plastic is breaking down and it is time for a new mask.

Good luck!! And go get a better mask!!!!!

And I have to add that my husband was EXTREMELY worried about what I would think about him and his mask. It never bothered me and still doesn't. If anything it makes things much better because both of actually sleep at night now and he functions much better during the day instead of nodding off all the time. And if a man is bothered by your CPAP then he isn't worth it anyway ;)

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I work at a dental office that is now getting into sleep medicine and am learning a lot about it. A couple thoughts..If you only have mild to moderate sleep apnea you could have an appliance made through a dental office, you would have to be sure they practice sleep medicine though, talk to your physician about the mask hurting you, I haven't heard of that before, and also remember you can still date. Whomever you fall in love with will appreciate the fact that you care enough about your general health to have your apnea treated. Sleep apnea if left untreated can shorten your life by 8 years and cause stroke and heart attack. Also I would think that soon you should be able to go to sleep without meds when you get used to everything. Good luck!

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speak to the person who gets your supplies for your machine, they have different sizes of masks and styles as well. You may just need a different style.

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My husband has used this mask for years (he's 34). It doesn't hurt him, you might mention it to your doctor. It's possible there is another size to try...

As for the relationship end of things, I agree about the sleep being important. As the partner of someone that uses that mask/machine I want to let you know I don't judge him for that. Besides, we aren't romantic with the mask on! Lol!

One more thing, my husband will use melatonin instead of a sleeping pill. Sleeping pills are addictive so if you decide to quit make sure you do it gradually while adding the melatonin. 3/4 one or two weeks, 1/2, 1/4 etc. This will ease the transition.

Good luck. I know you are frustrated. Don't give up!

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